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Waking up today was hard.
You couldn’t help but want to lay back down and succumb to your sadness. Let the day pass and all your worries fade away with it; but that wasn’t possible. Life moves on, there’s things to do, and the world won’t stop just for you. There were duties. You’re a hero now, and your break is over.
So you got up. Unfortunately.
With a huff, you sat up and ran your hands through your hair. Dirty. Now that you think about it, when was the last time you showered ? Or even changed your clothes ?
You’re screwed.
Standing up, your clothes hang loosely off your body, a slight smell wafting up from them, and you realize, then, how filthy your room is. What is wrong with you ? What is so hard about picking up your clothes or changing into a different shirt ? You’re useless, you think to yourself, utterly useless.
Finally managing to make it to the bathroom, you brush your teeth, albeit reluctantly, and peel off your clothes, tossing them into the hamper.
Stepping into the shower, you turn the water as hot as possible and stand under the warm spray.
A breath. You can finally take a breath.
The water envelops you and you feel calm. You feel good, for the first time in a long, long time.
You stand there for a while. Relishing in the hot water running down your body. Spinning around so your back faces the water, you start to scrub your scalp. It feels heavenly, and you start to think maybe things will be okay.
Pouring soap into your hands, you start to rub it throughout your hair, taking your time – even though you definitely have like…. Fuck, 10 minutes before your shift starts ?
Reluctantly, you wash out the soap and start brushing your hair a little faster than usual, ripping the knots from your hair. The sting brings relief, though, so can you complain ? As the last few bits of soap wash out your hair, your phone rings.
“Ugh, who is calling me” you grunt out as you grab your phone, the screen fogging up and water splattering all over your phone, you manage to make out the name on the screen. Robert.
Fine.
“Hello ? Seraphina ?” Your body relaxed at the sound of his voice. The voice of the one person you could trust. The one person who could truly understand you. “Saph ?”
“Sorry, sorry.. What’s up ?”
A slight chuckle came through the line, “Are you.. Showering ?”
“Ugh, I know, I know. Work, or whatever. I’ll be there.” You go to press the red button before you hear him again,
“Wait ! So-” Another chuckle “Sorry, seriously. I’m not laughing at you. It’s just, you know. You have 3 minutes until your shift starts and.. God, you’re fucked.” A cackle erupts from him.
“Cool, great, I had no clue.” sigh. “Bye now.”
“Woah, are you mad ? I didn’t me-”
Interrupting him quickly, you respond with a snarl, “No. Not at all. I’m just fine. Possibly having the hardest morning of my life and I can’t even get a moment of fucking peace from the one guy I thought wouldn’t bust my balls. I’m shiny and glittering and perfect.”
There was a long stretch of silence before you heard him say,
“I’ll be right there. Don’t go anywhere.”
“Wha-” Before you could respond you heard the sound of him hanging up.
With a huff, and a splash of surprise, you finish washing yourself and turn off the shower. Just as you wrapped your towel around you, you hear a knock on the door.
Ignored.
You look into the mirror, disgusted by the unsightly reflection staring back at you, and start picking out every bad thing about you. Your bags, your acne, your cracked lips, the dry patches of skin, and decide you hate yourself. A lot.
Another knock. Loud and booming. No choice but to answer, you walk over and open the door.
—
The door finally opens after what feels like ages and you see her.
Jesus Christ.
“Seraphina… ”
“What do you want, Robert. ”
“I…” you couldn’t speak.
This wasn’t Seraphina in front of you. This wasn’t the sweet, happy girl with her loud personality and endless teasing. This was someone different. Someone hurt and sad. Someone who took Seraphina and smashed her into pieces, took every bit of happiness from her and flipped her inside out; and it broke Robert’s heart. It absolutely shattered his entire being to know she was hurting so badly.
Unable to say anything, you snatched her into a tight hug, not caring that she was in a towel, or that her hair was dripping onto your clothes, or even that the door was still open. You held her and cradled her head until you felt her body meld onto yours. Until you felt her relax and heard the worst sound you’d ever had the misfortune of listening to.
She was crying.
“Saph, what’s going on.” You asked her so softly you could barely hear yourself. “What’s wrong.”
More sobbing. Your heart clenched at every sob that erupted from her, at how much pain she was in.
Still holding her, you walked into her apartment, closing the door behind you and sat her down on the couch, sitting next to her as well.
“Seraphina.” Cradling her face, you repeated her name again, “Seraphina. Talk to me”
“My life..” She began, “My life feels like it’s, just.. Crumbling. It feels like no matter what I do, I’m just not good enough. I’m just here and living and it fucking sucks.”
That was it. Your heart was cracked in two.
“I hate everything around me. My face, my body, my clothes. My apartment is shitty and I’m so lazy, sometimes I can’t even turn to lay on my side.”
And it was then that you realized, “Saph, you’re depressed.”
Her wet eyes darted up at you, you couldn’t help but wipe her tears from her cheeks.
“You’re having a rough time, and that’s ok. But there is a way out. You are going to be okay.”
Her small face crumbled and you held her face with both hands now.
“You will be fine. I’m here for you. Always.”
She curled up into your chest and cried and cried until she was all out of tears. That was when you softly put her to lay on the couch and went to her room to find her some clean clothes.
Yes, there was a mess. Yes, it was hard to find something clean. But you would fix that as soon as you got her back together.
Grabbing a t-shirt and some pants, along with her underwear, you walked into the living room and helped her sit up.
“Here. I brought you some clothes.”
She nodded in thanks and grabbed them, walked to the bathroom, and when she came out, she already looked a little better.
“Have you eaten ?” A shake of her head, “Then let’s fix that.”
You walked her to the chair and sat her down as you cooked her some food. Something small, simple, enough to stomach, but filling.
“Here’s the plan, Saph. You’re going to eat, watch some tv, and I’ll clean up after you.”
“No wa-”
“No, Seraphina. I’ll clean up, and you will wait. And when I’m done, we will sit and eat ice cream and watch… I don’t fucking know, the Kardashians or some shit and cry as much as we want. All I know is there’s no way you are leaving this apartment until you brighten up a bit.” You slid the plate in front of her. “Now eat.”
Her beautiful face looked up at you and analyzed you. Looked into you and your intentions and seemed to silently understand that this was non-negotiable. So. She ate. And you cleaned her room.
And once you came back out, you saw her sitting there laughing at whatever show she was watching.
“Robert !” She bounced up and walked to you, embracing you tightly, “Thank you. So much.”
Pulling back to look at you, she softly, and quickly, pecked you on the lips.
“Thank you, Now” You responded,
“Where’s the ice cream?”