Work Text:
How she was able to still exist in this world - Juvia could not answer that question.
It was unfair. So unfair that Juvia had lost count on how many times she had cursed the world over and over again for taking the one thing that ever mattered to her. Her bright sunny world was now diabolically grey, as if to serve as a cruel reminder of the man who had brought the sun to her so long ago.
And now, that man was gone. The beautiful, wonderful, handsome, and kind man that turned the gloomy rain into a colourful rainbow had sacrificed himself for her. So that she could live. It was twisted. Unfair. But was so in his character to do such a thing.
Gray was always there to save her. Was always there to make sure she lived to see another day. And like always, before she could even try to save him, he froze her wounds up so that she could not even dare to try and save him. For her life, he paid the ultimate price.
She could not even remember what happened after that. What she did to Invel after she was freed of his ice chains. If she even let him live. How anyone even found her in the state she was. She remembers none of it. All she does know, was that she could no longer see the sun.
The Alvarez war had taken so many lives from Fairy Tail too. Not just Gray's. Master Makarov. Master Mavis. Lucy. Two members of Team Natsu and two Fairy Tail guild masters gone. The reality alone shook the entire guild and anyone who knew them. It was unfathomable. Wrong.
Makarov had used Fairy Law to give everyone a better chance in the fight. Mavis passed on peacefully with Zeref according to Natsu. And Happy said Lucy's body was burned so horribly by END's flames that it was too late to save her. He did not want to elaborate further.
Rain followed Juvia like a loyal dog just like it did long ago. It was the manifestation of her grief. The guild's grief. Everyone's grief. While everyone tried to move on, she would not. She could not even dare. How was she to honour Gray's memory if she does?
Luckily she had Natsu, Erza, Wendy, Happy and Carla check on her often. They all bonded with the pain. She had lost of the love of her life and they their most trusted team members. They comforted each other in their loss. Only just barely.
They prayed, so many times did they pray, to make everything a dream. That they would wake up to Gray, Lucy and Makarov being okay. And they would go on missions, destroy cities on accident and be goofy like always. But of course, those dreams never made it out of their imagination.
And for Juvia, the worse was starting to happen - she was forgetting what Gray's voice sounded like. It had made her go into a frenzy. She had often seen illusions of Gray around the guild. Moments in time she remembered. And usually, she could hear his voice. This time she could not.
Cana and Lisanna had tried to help her calm down as she started clawing away at the table she sat at, everyone else looking at her with looks of pity. While she cried out for Gray to say something, anything, all his illusion could so was smile at her.
It made something in her snap. She shoved both Cana and Lisanna off of her, running out of the guild and into the rain she was causing. She needed to get away from the guild, desperately so. Shoving passed even Natsu and Happy and then Erza, Wendy and Carla - both groups returning from their own jobs.
"Hey Juvia!" she could hear Erza cry out.
But she did not stop. She ran through town until she reached its outskirts. It was just her, the grass and the trees. No guild hall reminding her of Gray. No ghosts reminding her of what she had lost. So of course, she was none the wiser when her grass path turned into cobblestone.
The people around her ran the moment they realized it was raining, and she was too distraught to care which town she had found herself in. The rain poured down harder, drenching her so completely she could barely see anything in front of her.
"Aw man! I'm completely soaked!"
"Waah! Where did this rain come from!?"
"At least we get a free bath?"
Those voices. Juvia felt as though she was reliving another memory. One where Team Natsu was still whole and she could hear Lucy's complaints while Natsu joked around with Happy. She's sure Natsu and Happy relive those memories like clockwork as she does hers with Gray.
"Strange... there were no clouds a minute ago."
"Agreed, it was supposed to be sunny all day today."
"Something about this rain seems unnatural though."
"You mean to tell me that someone is making it rain? You're not saying you think Juvia is here, are you?"
That voice. The voice she was starting to forget. The low tone, the slight rasp in every word, everything down to the kindness layered in his sentences. Even though she was afraid of falling for another delusion, Juvia willed herself to look up at the group who was not too far from where she stood.
The rain lightened up as Juvia squinted her eyes and she mentally begged Mavis to let this dream go on for a very long time and be as realistic as humanly possible. Eventually, the heavy rain cloud that had been above her for months became one that let out only a drizzle of rain.
Once the sun started to break through, Juvia's eyes widened and tears flowed down her face as she took in the sight before her. The confused looks of Team Natsu looking at her while she only really focused on the raven haired ice mage.
He had no shirt on, like he always does, and looked exactly as she remembered him. But the one distinct difference was the scar on his torso, the scar being in the exact place she remembered Gray impaling himself on during that fateful fight.
If this was a cruel trick, Juvia was ready to accept it. This was the realest Gray she had seen since Alvarez and the shocked look on his face was not something her memories ever played.
"Gray..." she finally said, feeling her knees go weak.
"Whoa! It is Juvia!" Happy exclaimed pointing at her from where he sat on Natsu's shoulder. "What're you doing here? I thought we left you with the guild back in Drasil?"
"Does Master and the others know you followed us?" Erza asked.
"Hey guys, she doesn't look too good..." Lucy said as the group approached her.
Juvia could no longer hold herself up. She fell to the ground, all feeling in her body melting away like her rain cloud as the son broke through. Almost immediately, she felt someone take her body in their arms and the tears in her eyes became running rivers.
Gray was looking at her with terrible concern and was most definitely speaking to her. But his words were bring drowned out due to the sole fact that he felt real. It was already bad enough that she was already going crazy that he and Lucy looked real, but feeling his hands hold her, it had to be some sick joke.
Eventually, the mental breakdown was taking too long to bring her back to reality, Juvia's expression of submission turned into one of genuine confusion and Gray's voice finally made it to her ears.
"Juvia! Are you with me!? What happened?"
"Gray..." she asked, reaching her hand out to touch his face. "Are... Are you... real?"
"Hah? Of course I am!" he cried, slowly helping her sit up. "How did you get here? Did you actually follow us secretly!?"
"I think there's something more going on here than that, Gray." Wendy said sweatdropping.
"I agree," Carla added while crossing her arms. "The last we saw Juvia, she did not look nearly as exhausted as she does right now."
"You think so?" Gray said looking over her once. "Did you pull all nighters while following us?"
"N-No..." Juvia looked at him before looking at the rest of Team Natsu, who sighed at the ice mage's words. "But how are you alive right now?"
The question caught them all off-guard. "What?"
"You were dead," Juvia continued, pointing at both Gray and Lucy. "Both of you, you were dead. The Alvarez war took you from us, so... how are you here?"
Lucy moved to kneel next to Gray, her expression mirroring his. "Juvia, what're you talking about? Gray and I never died. We're right here."
"Yeah, and the Alvarez war was like a year ago!" Happy exclaimed. "I think we would remember if they died."
The water mage then shot an accusatory glare at Natsu, Happy, Erza, Wendy and Carla. Those months of mourning. Those months of absolute denial of the reality they had to live with. Natsu and Happy especially. They were suffering just as much as she.
However, Happy's words sunk in. "A... year?" she asked.
Everyone's eyes slowly widened in realization along with Juvia. "Yeah, we beat Acnologia a year ago remember? Luce's book award party was two months ago too." Natsu said.
"Lucy had a book award party?" Juvia continued to ask.
It was Erza's turn to kneel down in front of the water mage now. "Juvia," she said. "How long has it been since we beat Alvarez and Acnologia?"
"Five months..." she replied, her voice slow and shaking. "And Gray, Lucy, Master Makarov and Master Mavis' funerals were held a month after everything was over."
The silence that followed the realization was deafening - as cliché as it sounds.
Seeing that Juvia was on the verge of collapsing, Gray took her in his arms and the rest of Team Natsu agreed that they should put a pause on their journey for a bit to figure out what was going on. They reserved two rooms at a nearby inn and brought over some much needed food.
They all met up at the boys' room and ate in awkward silence. No one really knew what to say. What could anyone in Team Natsu say when meeting someone from an alternate reality where Gray and Lucy did not exist? They could only imagine what Juvia was thinking by seeing both said mages before her.
Juvia, on the other hand, felt very disappointed and felt very guilty for being disappointed. She had called the world unfair for taking her Gray away, but now she was stuck in some sick version of the world where she never lost him in the first place.
She was jealous. Jealous that the other version of herself that was able to wake up in the morning with a smile on her face because she did not live in a reality where Gray was gone. Where even Lucy and Makarov were able to survive. It was sick and twisted. She resented everything.
This Team Natsu was not broken. This world's Fairy Tail was still complete, even without Master Mavis. And Gray was looking at her with that same concerned look in his eyes that she will always remember him having whenever she was hurt.
It made her want to cry, go into a frenzy, to embrace the delusion and enjoy what limited time she had with this Gray all at once. Did that mean she was finally going insane? Was this the world's cruel way of giving the one thing she ever wanted back before taking it away from her again?
There was no way any of this was real. But she had been reciting those words over and over in her head, yet she was still there, meeting eyes with Gray. A delusion or illusion can only go so far. And she felt like she was standing on the edge of insanity.
"Are you feeling better now, Juvia?" Erza asked, putting a hand to her shoulder.
Juvia nodded and placed her empty place down. "Yes, a bit anyways."
"Are you up to telling us a bit about the reality you're from? If not, don't try to force yourself."
She shook her head, keeping her head down to stare at her bowl. "Fairy Tail... hasn't been the same since the war. Living on without you two and master has been hard on everyone."
"Um... can I ask how we... died?" Lucy asked.
Juvia began to fidget with her utensils. "Gray was the first," she said, no one daring to interrupt her. "When he and I fought Invel, we had to get out of his ice chains and... he froze my body temporarily so that I... so that he could... he sacrificed himself so I could escape..."
Said ice mage put down his own plate which was now devoid of food and placed his hand on the scar on his torso. He recalled that battle, the distress, what he and Juvia did to escape. He remembered how he thought he had lost Juvia - he was lucky. Unlike the Juvia in from him.
"What about Master and Luce?" Natsu asked with a hushed tone that was so unlike him.
"Everyone said he cast Fairy Law against the whole Alvarez Empire. There was no way... he could've..."
"You don't have to say any more you don't want to." Wendy said giving her a tissue and glass of water.
"And Lucy..." she choked out through the tears running down her face again. "Her body had been burned. Happy said she was burned inside out, though won't explain exactly how. He could not retrieve her body until after the war because he worried it would turn to ash."
Natsu, Lucy and Happy looked at each other with knowing eyes while the others gasped in shock. That kind of reality was unfathomable. So much so that even their thoughts sounded repetitive. The fire dragon slayer hid his face by looking down but Lucy placed a reassuring hand on his lap - which does not go unnoticed by Juvia.
She chose to not say anything at the moment, however, it was not something she really needed to anything about. She doubted anything they told her would provide any solace to her Fairy Tail's Natsu and Happy. Perhaps it would have been different if they were with her right now.
"That must have been hard," Erza said breaking the silence. "There's no need for you to continue about anything else."
Juvia said nothing in response and just looked down, fidgeting with her plate again. They all just sat like that, letting all the information shared sink in their brains. What else were they supposed to say or do after learning all that after all?
"Um, how about we call it a day and rest up for the night?" Lucy suggested. "I don't know about the rest of you guys but I would like to visit the bathhouse that's supposedly well-known in this town."
Natsu looked up at the blonde with a raised eyebrow. "Huh? Why? We literally just took a bath in the rain earlier."
"A proper bath, Natsu," she stated with sarcasm. "With soap."
"Eh, I think I'll pass." Gray chimed in, earning a disapproving look from Carla.
Said white exceed pinched her nose. "Disgusting."
Watching the banter, unfold before, Juvia felt her chest feel warm for the first time in five months since the Alvarez war. Those prayers she, and what remained of Team Natsu, recited in their hearts were being answered right before her. She was warm. She felt complete.
But she knew better than to get comfortable. No matter how warm she felt, she was an outsider in this reality. There was already a Juvia that existed in this Earthland for Gray. How could she even dare to take this Gray away from her? She would be worst than scum.
"You joining us, Juvia?" Erza asked, moving to stand in front of Juvia with Wendy beside her.
The rain woman looked between the both of them and then realized that the others were also waiting on her with reassuring smiles on their face. Natsu and Happy were waiting by the door. Lucy and Carla were grabbing their bags of toiletries. And Gray stood behind Erza and Wendy with his hand stretched out.
She smiled and nodded, grabbing Gray's hand and standing up. She did not know how she would get back to her Fairy Tail but there was no point in stressing over something that made no sense to her in the first place. She would just enjoy her time with everyone while she still can.
"Okay!" she replied.
Hanging out with everyone was fun - the most fun she had in ages.
Going to the bathhouse was the most fun Juvia had felt herself had in so long. She spent most of the bath sticking close to Lucy and bantering with her since she had missed her presence in the guild as much as her Gray. And Lucy indulged her on everything.
Lucy told her what was happening with the guild since the Alvarez war in their Earthland and the defeat of Acnologia. How her book party went and how they were currently in the northern continent. The difference of the events surprising the rain woman immensely.
Master Mavis still passed away with Zeref but everyone else who had died in her Earthland remained alive and well. An event even made it so that they all fought against another dragon together as a guild and Juvia could not help but feel a slight bit envious to it all.
Everything sounded so exciting and adventurous - even if this was just a simple trip to nowhere special. After they had taken their baths, Team Natsu invited her to play ping pong with them after having some milk to drink. Gray partnered with her while Natsu partnered with Lucy.
Of course, the boy's went overboard with their game and eventually it just became Natsu versus Gray while everyone cheered for one of them. It was stupid but fun, and Juvia made it her mission to commit their expressions to memory.
After Erza broke up the never ending ping pong match, everyone decided to take their last hour in the bathhouse to relax in some massage chairs. It was the perfect way to end their visit. Natsu, Lucy, Gray and Happy fell asleep before they knew it and Juvia took that moment to converse with Erza, Wendy and Carla.
They told her about a weird version of their guild in the northern continent called Fairy Nail and how instead of wizards, it was a guild for celebrities and public figures. How their Juvia also had a version of herself in the weird guild named Juvina. It made the rain woman very intrigued.
Then they also told her how Juvina went on a little date with Gray and how he told them not to mention the date to their Juvia. Said something about her opening his eyes to how he was treating their Juvia and how he seemed more than ready to finally be honest with himself and her.
The story made Juvia's heart ache and flutter all at once. Somehow anyways. Everything they were telling her made her think of what could have been her future if her Gray never sacrificed himself. What they could have become and what they could have accomplished.
It is why, even though all the girls had gone to sleep, Juvia found herself leaning on their room balcony railing staring at the sky like some cheesy romance heroine. She had scrunched up her bed's flat sheet around her body and made a makeshift shawl to not be cold.
She wished she could have come here with especially the rest of her Earthland's Team Natsu. She felt more at peace than she had ever felt in five months and she wished to share it with the rest of the guild. It was not fair that she was the only in this reality.
"Couldn't sleep, Juvia?"
Juvia turned to source of the voice with a gasp. Gray was leaning on the railing of his balcony and had a solemn look on his face. He was wearing a sweater for once but nothing underneath it. They both stayed silent while staring at each other - but it was a comfortable silence.
"Oh, I just wanted sometime to myself." she replied not meeting his gaze.
"Want me to leave you alone then or-"
"Please stay!" she cried before he could finish his sentence. "Please... you don't have to go."
Gray nodded and the both of them turned back to face the city below and sky above them. They stayed like that without saying anything and it made Juvia start properly digesting everything she had experienced in this one day alone.
She wondered if this peaceful state she found herself in would last should she go back to her Earthland and Fairy Tail. Would she go back to the depressed and gloomy girl she was after the Alvarez war ended? Or would she finally be able to move on from her grief?
"Hey..." Gray spoke up again? "Can I... ask you something?"
"Huh?"
"When I, er, I guess your Gray did what he did when the two of you fought Invel, did he say anything before he, you know?"
Juvia's eyes softened from curiosity to melancholy. That day was the cause of her nightmares for so long. She remembered everything down to the last detail of Gray breathing his last. As painful as it was, she kept it memorized to keep his final moments in her heart.
She took a deep breath before replying. "He... He apologized to me."
"What?" he asked to which she nodded.
"After my Gray froze my body to stop me from copying his self sacrificing idea, he looked me in the eye and apologized," she continued. "Knowing him it was because I had no choice but to watch him do what he did."
"I could only imagine..."
"Gray."
"Yeah?"
The rain woman looked into the ice mage's eyes intensely, no indication of looking away this time. There was something she always wanted to tell Gray if she had one more chance to talk to him, this was her chance to finally let those words out.
"Lucy and the others told me how your fight with Invel differed from mine, as well as what you had told them about your talk with Juvina."
"They did, huh?"
She nodded before continuing. "Please, please treasure your Juvia." she simply said. "If she's anything like me, I'm sure she loves you more than you could ever imagine. It is her biggest strength and greatest weakness."
"Juvia... I-"
"Please let me finish," she asked to which he complied. "Don't be like me, Gray. Powerless to do anything but watch the love of my life give up his own for mine. Don't let a situation like that Invel fight ever happen to either of you again."
"Of course I won't." Gray reassured. "I made a promise to become stronger for that very reason."
"Good," she smiled before looking at her hands. "I've been a mess since my Gray departed from my world, and I haven't been able to see the sun since that day. But after today, even if it's a small chance, I want to start living again."
Gray nodded in agreement. "If your Gray is anything like me, I'm sure he would've wanted you to live on happily even without him. If I know myself... I would be pretty devastated to know you couldn't see the sun."
Juvia giggled at that. "You might be right about that."
They both laughed together at that for no reason. Just being able to talk to him like this, Juvia felt more healed than ever. Maybe not enough to completely erase the grief, but enough to live the life her Gray could not finish. And that brought her enough solace.
Before they could continue to enjoy their moment, a cry could be heard from inside the girls' room. Gray and Juvia looked to each other before rushing inside the room, prepared to fight an enemy. But instead they were met with a peculiar sight.
Lucy was in shock while Erza, Wendy and Carla were waking up from the sound of her scream. In the middle of the room was a portal and through it was Fairy Tail staring back at them in shock. Gray, Natsu and Happy barged in the room seconds after the shock died down.
At first, Juvia thought it was their Fairy Tail, but after seeing her own Team Natsu and the rest of the guild looking like they were about to break out in tears at the sight of Lucy and Gray - she knew it was her Fairy Tail.
Levy took a big unstable sniff while Gajeel held her, it was so obvious her body was shaking. "Lu... Gray..."
"Levy..." Lucy replied softly.
"Dear Mavis..." Juvia's Erza said, choking on the rest of her words. "Y-You're alive here...?"
"We are." Gray said nodding before looking over to Juvia. "And I guess you're here to bring Juvia back home."
"Aye." Juvia's Happy replied, his tears drenching Juvia's Natsu's clothes.
"Happy," Lucy said, taking a step forward. "Juvia told me how hard you tried to help me. I'm sure the other me would be so proud of you."
At her words, Happy became incoherent and sobbed uncontrollably. Juvia's Natsu caressed his head in comfort and he looked at Lucy with an undeniable guilty expression. "Lucy... I-"
"Natsu, no me would ever blame you for anything." the celestial mage stated before he could speak. "Please, don't feel guilty anymore and continue being the Natsu I've always known. Fairy Tail's more fun that way."
Juvia's Natsu grit his teeth and hurriedly wiped his tears away before looking at Lucy again. "Okay!" he said despite his shaking voice.
Natsu and Happy looked to Lucy and she looked back at them with a reassuring smile. Juvia watched as a silent conversation went on between them, it was very obvious that the trio's bond only grew stronger since Alvarez.
She took that as her cue to finally go to her world. She turned to Gray and took a hold of his hand. "Thank you, for letting me see the sun again."
The ice mage squeezed her hand. "Hey, I didn't do nothing. You've always been able to see it alone."
"Yes, well, it's easier to see when you're around."
"Heh, then I guess you're welcome."
Juvia gave him a soft smile in return for his words. She would have let go but instead, tugged Gray down a bit so that she can give him a kiss on the cheek. Everyone's eyes went wide at the gesture and the ice mage was left paralyzed in place.
"Don't make the other me wait too long," she reminded him as she crossed the portal. "You have to keep your promise!"
Gray recovered from his shock and gave her a thumbs up. "And you keep your word."
"I will." Juvia replied.
As she watched the portal close and the other Team Natsu disappear with it, the rain woman closed her eyes and heightened her hearing. The once down pouring rain turned into light rain into scattered showers before disappearing completely to let the sun shine through.
A single tear fell from her eyes as she hardened her resolve. She will always remember her Gray. Though the memories may fade and become blurry, his existence in her life will not disappear. The grief might stay but she will continue to live through each day.
Because Gray was right, his other self would not like it if she could not see the sun anymore.