Feyre

When I hear the door to the studio open and close, I don’t even look up from the work in front of me. Between the faint scent reaching me and the gentle brush against my mental wall, I don’t need to check to know that Rhys came to pick me up.

He runs his hand over my shoulder before taking a seat next to me.

“How did it go today?” Rhys asks and that’s when I finally take my eyes off of the gingerbread I’ve been decorating.

It’s become a Solstice tradition over the last few years that Ressina, me and the children decorate gingerbread cookies to give away during the fair set up in the Rainbow. With only a couple of days left, I still have a little bit of work to do but now that the kids have gone for the day, I was able to focus better and it’s been going quickly.

That was, until my mate arrived.

I smile at him, taking in his countenance. All those years and I still haven’t gotten used to him.

“It went well, the kids surely had fun,” I tell him, pointing towards the table in the corner, where the decorated cookies are drying. “Still some left to finish, though.”

Rhys looks at the work in front of me and grins. Not sure what he’s got on his mind, I cock an eyebrow but he simply picks one of the cookies and a spare brush.

“How about I help out?” he offers, already reaching towards a jar of edible paint.

I have to bite my lip to stop myself from giggling. For all his talents and abilities, he isn’t much of an artist, bless him.

“Hmm, we can always say that’s one that Nyx made,” I tell him, looking at the wonky smile Rhys is painting on the gingerbread man.

Undeterred, Rhys picks up more paint and with a focus worthy of a general preparing for battle, finishes his work before grabbing another cookie.

I watch him for a moment—the High Lord of Night Court with a small brush in his hand, bent over the table, painting buttons onto the shirt of a gingerbread man. I watch him and can’t quite believe that this is my life.

“Just so you know, Nuala and Cerridwen took Elain to the townhouse before I came here,” Rhys tells me with a wink. “The River House is empty for the night.”

Now I cannot stop myself and snort. Subtle, he was not.

But truth be told, this is quite a notable event. Not only did my sister and the Wraiths leave for a couple of nights to prepare my 30^th birthday party, but for the first time since we moved into the house, our entire family is away.

Amren’s stay in Summer and Mor’s visit to Winter are a yearly tradition. Azriel’s visit to the Court of Nightmares, in preparation for the Solstice, isn’t unusual either. But Nyx being gone is new to us.

Now that he’s 8, Rhys and I finally agreed that he could start his Illyrian training. Now that Nesta had taken over the training of the children, I feel better about my baby boy training but this is his first overnight stay, which means Rhys and I are both trying to adjust.

I never expected my sister to find her calling as a teacher, nor did I think Devlon would give over the reins but a determined Nesta Archeron truly is a force to be reckoned with.

Ever since becoming a Carynthian, she decided she would bring changes to the training and with the help of Cas and Emorie, she actually did do just that. For the last few years, the girls have been training regularly with the boys and they are all taught more to work together instead of competing in everything. I think deep, deep down Devlon might even be impressed with the results. But he does hide it well.

I was apprehensive about letting Nyx leave for the night, even if he was staying with his aunt and uncle, but it’s hard to be bothered by the fact that this will be the first night that Rhys and I will be truly alone in the house since well before Nyx was even born.

“I hope you told Elain not to overdo it with the party,” I tell Rhys but when I see the sparkle in his eyes I immediately know that he’s not the right person to ask for temperance. Not when it comes to my birthday.

I let out a lightly exasperated huff but I still feel the gentle tug, deep in my heart.

“You know, I never thought I would get all of this,” I say wistfully, turning to Rhys.

Noticing the change in my voice, my mate abandons his gingerbread cookie and straightens.

“You mean turning 30?” he asks. There’s a playful lilt in his question but I can see in his eyes that he’s taking the conversation seriously.

“That too,” I tell him with a sigh. “There were times when I genuinely doubted that we would survive the next month, never mind a year or a decade. But frankly, I thought the best I could hope for was that once Nesta and Elain were married, they would be able to help out me and our father. But I truly didn’t think I would be the one getting all of this—a husband, a child. A big, happy family.”

Now focused entirely on my, Rhys takes my hand and threads his fingers through mine. He brings our joined hands to his lips and places a light kiss over my knuckles.

“I didn’t expect this, either,” he tells me, our hands now pressed into his chest, over his heart. “My father kept telling me that I was expected to produce and heir and I suppose I always had that somewhere in the back of my head. But this love, darling, this is a miracle.”

Feeling overwhelmed, I straighten my fingers and brush them over Rhys’s chest, sensing the beating of his heart. It’s now a pattern that I know by heart.

The tender moment between us stretches until we finally decide that it’s time to go home and enjoy our night alone.

Instead of winnowing home, we take a walk along the Sidra. It’s a bit of a trek, especially with the fresh snowfall that came a couple of days ago, but I can’t ever deny myself the pleasure of watching Velaris prepare for the Solstice, especially with the fair already set up.

Since there’s nothing to rush us, we stroll between the stalls until we reach the one offering mulled wine.

People greet us as we pass, out mugs of wine in hand. A few of the Rainbow residents stop us for a chat, telling us about the many attractions that will be happening over the next few days. Some of them mention the ongoing rebuilding of the city and as always, the mention of the destruction caused by Hybern’s attack tugs at my heart. Ten years later, Velaris still carries the scars from what happened. Still, the community is strong and we don’t stop working.

Eventually, we walk away from the fair and the rest of the way to the house, it’s just us.

Warmed up by the wine, I find myself tucking myself into Rhys’s side. He brings his arm around my shoulders. It’s not the most comfortable position for walking and our pace slows down but I don’t mind. Especially not when my mate nudges me in the side, then leans in for a kiss. His lips still taste of the spices from the mulled wine and I have to agree with what he said earlier.

This love is a miracle.

When we enter the house, we’re greeted by a large reminder that we must eventually learn how to say no to our son.

Yesterday, Rhys and Cas took Nyx to grab the holly and evergreen sprigs for decoration. My maximalist son didn’t stop at that, though. He saw a large fir and asked if he could get the whole tree.

Rhys and Cas both swear up and down that Nyx was asking incessantly and they eventually gave in but I have a sneaking suspicion that my clever son only needed to bat his eyelashes once or twice before he got his wish.

And now, this impressive fir stands in our sitting room, waiting to be decorated. I must admit, it does look wonderful in the corner, the fireplace lighting it up from the side.

“We will have to figure out how to be more assertive with Nyx, won’t we?” I say to Rhys once we’ve both shed our coats.

My mate snorts from behind me, his arms coming around my waist.

“If you say so,” he purrs into my ear. “I’m more than happy to give him everything he ever asks for. Him, you, our family.”

I rest my head against his shoulder and let out a long sigh. There’s a playfulness in Rhys’s voice but I know he means it, too. His generosity is often a source of abashment for me but knowing that if he could, Rhys would give the sun, the moon and the stars to our child only makes me love him even more.

I turn my head and kiss him on the jaw and we stand like that for a little while longer, simply wrapped up in each other.

“How about we decorate this tree ourselves?” I propose, nodding in the direction of a box of ornaments I made over the last few years, some by myself, some with Nyx. “It’ll be fun to see how everyone reacts when they see it all ready.”

Nodding, Rhys lets go of me and walks over to the box. He picks it up from the floor and takes out a couple of baubles. I take one of them and hum as I try to decide where it would look best. Meanwhile, Rhys hangs his bauble of the branch closest to him and is already picking up the next piece of decoration.

We manoeuvre around each other as we pick up more baubles and other ornaments, placing them on the tree one by one. Eventually, the only two thing left are a long paper chain and glass star that we decide to use as a tree topper.

Rhys unfurls his wings and flaps them once. This sends just enough of a wind towards me to pick up one end of the paper chain from the floor and blow it over my head. I startle and yelp in surprise, sending Rhys into fit of laughter.

I swipe the chain off my head and send Rhys a stink eye. It’s not working very well, though. Not when a smile is tugging at my lips.

Amused, Rhys flaps his wings again but instead of flying up to the top of the tree, he deliberately sends another gust towards me. It once again picks up the end of the chain, making it dance over my head, just out of my reach.

With a huff, I tug on the chain, making Rhys cackle.

“Would you stop laughing and put the damn topper on the tree?” I grumble but once again, there isn’t much heat behind it.

Rhys winks at me. “As you wish,” he offers with a hand over his heart.

Finally, he does fly up just enough to place the star on top of the tree. He also helps me wrap the chain around the tree and finally, we’re done.

I must admit, though I certainly didn’t expect it, the tree does look impressive and actually fits the room nicely.

“Maybe we can put the presents under the tree this year,” Rhys offers, standing next to me. Out of nowhere, he’s got two more mugs of mulled wine in his hands and offers me one.

I nod in agreement over his idea. It does sound like fun.

With the mugs in our hands, we end up sitting down on the carpet in front of the fireplace. The house is warm and cozy even without it lit but nothing creates a better atmosphere and so we light it up often in winter. I do so enjoy watching the fire. It wakes up my fire powers just enough to send pleasant tingles all the way to the tips of my fingers.

I cuddle into Rhys’s side, resting my head over his shoulder. He places his arm around my waist and his wings around my back. In the warmth of his embrace I feel content and safe enough to finally voice a thought that’s been blossoming in my mind for a while now.

“Do you think Nyx would like to have a brother or a sister?” I ask quietly, eyes trained on the fire.

Rhys stiffens it my side and for a long while, there’s silence between us. Eventually he turns to me and I look away from the fire, meeting his gaze. There’s a mixture of hope and fear in his eyes. I understand him completely.

When I was pregnant with Nyx, we talked a lot about hoping for at least a couple more children. But after the trauma of his birth, the subject died quite decidedly. We only spoke about it when I was ready to resume out love life and Rhys told me he’d already been taking his contraceptive tonic for a short while.

But lately, with Nyx growing up and becoming less and less dependent on us, I realised that maybe, I’m ready to pick up this conversation.

“Are you sure?” Rhys asks, uncertain.

I nod, my hand wrapping around his knee.

“Do you want to, though?” I add, my thumb rubbing circles into the seam of Rhys’s trousers.

I know he would do it if I said I was ready but this isn’t just about me. The birth was almost as hard for him as it was for me.

The moment of silence between us stretches even longer but eventually, I see the smallest of nods of Rhys’s head. His eyes shine with vulnerability and I know immediately that we won’t start trying again for a while, though. But it’s alright with me. We’ve got time.

When I wake up on Solstice, everyone is already at the house, I can feel it.

I smile into the pillow and burrow a little deeper under the duvet. For all that it was great to have that one night just to ourselves, I’m glad that the family is back together for the holiday. I always breathe a little easier when I know we’re all together.

I don’t bother checking the time—it hardly matters when I can hear the patter of my son’s feet as he shifts his weight from one foot to the other on the other side of the bedroom door. He’s been learning how to keep light on his feet but for now, it still seems that the more he pays attention to what he’s doing, the louder he is. It’s quite adorable.

I’m not given any more time to ponder. Moments later, Nyx opens the bedroom door and charges me, screaming.

“Happy birthday, Mama!” he yells as he jumps on the bed, his wings flapping around. I put my arms out half to hug him, half to save myself from getting my eye poked out.

“Thank you, little darling,” I say, kissing his cheek.

Nyx lays sprawled on top of me, his face tucked into the crook of my neck. I take in his scent, all my senses immediately settling, now that my baby is in my arms. Then, I blow a raspberry into his neck, making him squirm and giggle.

“Mama!” he complains, scrambling to sit up.

I follow him and he shifts away from me, sitting on his knees at my side. I run my fingers through the messy midnight-black hair on top of his head. He’ll probably need a trip soon but for now, I’m enjoying how it curls lightly around his pointed ears.

“So, what can you tell me about the situation downstairs?” I implore, scrunching my face.

Nyx shakes his head. “I made a promise not to say anything,” he declares seriously. But his expressions quickly breaks, the excitement of whatever is happening too big to be contained too long.

Over the years, I managed to mostly convince Rhys that he didn’t need to make a big deal out of my birthday. I was more than happy to only celebrate the Solstice with everyone. Mainly, I was hoping to stop him from going too extravagant with the gifts—something that I still haven’t really gotten used to.

It’s such a surreal thing for me to complain about, I know. But barely scraping by for so long as we did, it left such a lasting impression on me that I still don’t know how to receive gifts without that pang of worry that we should be more careful about our spending.

However, this year is my 30^th and even my sisters decided that we needed to mark the occasion with a bang. It’s why Elain spent the last two nights at the town house, doing who knows what—I was forbidden from even sneaking a peek. All I knew was that I would find out today, once Rhys winnowed it all to the River House.

And now, it seems that the time has come for the big reveal. Nyx’s head snaps up in the direction of the door and his smile grows two sizes, and I immediately know that his father spoke to him in his mind.

“Okay, Mama,” he says, scrambling off the bed. “Please, get ready and come downstairs.”

He’s out of the room in a matter of moments, half running, half flying out, leaving me to laugh at his exit. With a sigh, a get up and head to the closet, to dress for the day. There are dozens of ideas racing in my mind, of what exactly did my family come up with, and all of them are slightly terrifying. But truth be told, this is the best problem I could ever dream of having.

How terrified should I be about what you’re all planning? I send the question towards Rhys but the only answer I get in return is a wave of amusement, so naturally, I grow all the more nervous as I walk down the stairs and then towards the living room.

For Nesta’s 30^th, we all had a nice dinner in the House of Wind but afterwards, only the ‘girls’ were allowed to stay for the night and so we had a slumber party, getting drunk off our skulls and asking the house to fulfil our increasingly insane wishes. Frankly, I don’t remember about a half of that night.

Elain’s 30^th was a different affair altogether—a small ball in the gardens of the River House that lasted well into the night and left me with blistered feet. My dancing hadn’t improved much over the years but surprisingly, I enjoyed myself more than I expected.

And now for my birthday, my sisters spent the last few weeks half-promising, half-threatening me with something absolutely insane. My only hope is that it’s obviously child-friendly and would have to end relatively soon, so that we could prepare for the Solstice dinner. Still, I remain nervous—

—which is why the scene I come upon as I enter the dining room stops me short in my tracks.

The long table is set with colourful decorations, small balloons floating over the tableware. Running down the middle of the table stands a battery of sweet and savoury pastries, canapes and small cakes, all beautifully decorated.

It’s just a breakfast. A lavish one, for sure. But that truly seems to be it.

Around the table stand my family and friends, clapping and cheering. Nyx takes the seat near the head of the table. He’s standing on his chair, cheering the loudest. Elain is right next to him, one arm wrapped around his waist to make sure he doesn’t fall.

The only one missing is Rhys.

And then, right as my eyes start to cloud with the unshed happy tears, I sense him right next to me. I look to the side and see him smiling down at me.

“You really thought we were just going to ignore all of you’ve been telling us for years and give you a massive party you didn’t want, didn’t you?” he teases. His fingers trace gentle circles at the small of my back and I find myself overwhelmed with emotions.

I did expect something insane, even just a minute ago. And I wouldn’t have hated it, honestly. How could I, if all my loved ones would’ve put in so much work into it? But to be given this beautiful gift of a subdued, family affair is beyond appreciated.

I turn to face Rhys head on and then wrap my arms around his middle, hugging him tightly.

“So you’ve decided to give me a conniption instead, is that it?” I joke into his chest.

He laughs, one hand brushing the hair away from my face. “Yes, exactly that.”

As I stand inside the circle of my mate’s arms, I don’t notice that the rest of the company had abandoned the table and made their way towards us. It’s not until Nyx crashes into our sides that Rhys and I disentangle ourselves and I am taken over by the rest of them.

Cas and Az hug me together, lifting me off my feet. I shriek in surprise but those two are undeterred.

“Happy birthday, High Lady,” Cas cackles, finally setting me down and at his side, Az grins.

My sisters come after the Illyrians. Elain hugs me tightly and we hold on to each other for a moment. Her warm embrace is a comfort that melts me from the inside as Elain whispers her wished into my hair.

Nest doesn’t say much, but she embraces me with one arm and places a kiss onto my forehead. She’s still holding me when I notice that her other hand is now wrapped around Elain’s hand. The three of us stay like that for a while, interconnected.

“Thank you,” I whisper and the first tear rolls down my cheek.

When they move, I see Amren raise her glass in my direction. I smile at her and she bows her head with respect. I remain forever overwhelmed by the fact that she chooses to not only remain a part of our court, but that she often defers to me of all people.

I hold Amren’s gaze until Mor approaches me with a large box.

“I won the draw and get to give you this present from all of us,” she says, her smile wide and brilliant. “I also can’t take the suspense any longer, so I’m going to tell you that it’s a pottery wheel because you’ve mentioned you wanted to take it up and I was the one who remembered.”

I laugh out loud and pull her in for a hug as soon as she puts the box down. We sway a little, still chuckling. And then the points her fingers at the Illyrians.

“So you can suck it, Cassian and Azriel, for saying that I can’t give good gifts,” Mor declares with a loud ‘ha!’ at the end.

It only brings more tears to my eyes because I did indeed mention that I wanted to venture into different crafts. I just didn’t think anyone was paying much attention to it. I do tend to talk about my art a lot, from time to time.

I sniffle quietly and wipe more tears off of my cheeks. Then, tiny hands wrap around my neck from behind. I turn in Nyx’s embrace and see him carried by Rhys. Nyx’s wings are tucked in behind him but Rhys is still bowed backwards, trying to avoid getting accidentally hit in the face.

Nyx’s flying is very good for his age. His spatial awareness leaves something to be desired, though.

I kiss him on the cheek as he yells his wishes right into my ear.

“Can I go have cake now?” he asks, eyeing the table behind us. I glance back and see Nuala had brought in the birthday cake, and I know I am no competition for that.

With a nod I loosen my hold on Nyx and he jumps down, his wings flapping as he lands and hits the ground running. And now, it’s just Rhys and me, again.

He takes in a breath, his eyes tracing the lines of my face, love abundant in his gaze. I cannot stop myself from sniffling and I just don’t bother. With my sight clouded over, I step into Rhys’s arms and kiss him soundly.

“Thank you, this is perfect,” I tell him. “I love you.”

He frames my face with his hands, his thumbs wiping off my tears. “I love you, too, Feyre darling.”

The Solstice dinner is the usual chaos, with everyone shouting over each other to pass the food.

After the rich breakfast, I didn’t think anyone even had any room left for the plentiful dinner but I clearly underestimated everyone’s determination – that and Nuala’s and Cerridwen’s cooking.

Before long, most of the food is gone and we’re all fantastically hazy with it. So much so that I nearly miss Rhys’s gentle nudge against my mental shield. But I do look up and shift my gaze to what he’s showing me.

And there, draped over the couch next to the decorated tree, Nyx lays fast asleep. His lips parted and he sighs, clearly tired after the eventful day.

With a soft chuckle, Rhys and I both stand up, making out way to our son.

“Come on, little darling,” I whisper to Nyx, gently coaxing him to wake up. Rhys crouches next to the couch, ready to pick up Nyx and carry him to bed.

But Nyx shakes his head, blinking slowly. “I don’t want to go,” he mumbles, rubbing his eyes.

“But you’re asleep, baby,” I say, brushing the hair away from his forehead.

“No, I’m not,” Nyx counters, shaking his head. But his eyes are already closing again. “I want to stay.”

I look up at Rhys who simply shrugs and shakes his head, smirking. My shoulders are shaking from holding in a laughter. We decide to leave him be and move away quietly.

Not that it seems to be a problem either way. Despite the ruckus at the table, Nyx is fast asleep on the couch and absolutely not bothered by anything. He doesn’t even notice when Rhys, Cassian and Azriel leave for their snowball fight to loud cheers from the rest of the table.

He simply snores lightly, making me smile with simple, pure joy.

Rhys

The River House is dark and quiet by the time Az and I winnow back to the mud room hours later, having dropped this year’s winner Cassian back at the House of Wind. We strip off our still damp coats before Azriel sneaks off upstairs.

I, however, make my way into the living room, where I sensed Feyre and Nyx still are.

The room is only lit up by the dying fire in the fireplace, all the other lights extinguished as my mate and our son sleep peacefully on the couch next to the decorated tree.

Feyre is lying on her side, tucked against the cushions, with Nyx clinging to her front. One of his wings is resting at his back and the other lays draped over his side, the end reaching his mother in a protective gesture. I cannot not smile at that, knowing that Feyre and I often find ourselves in the exact same position at night.

There’s a faint glow coming off of Feyre—a happy aura I know so well. On the other hand, smoky tendrils are dancing between her and Nyx, and I’m pretty sure those are coming from them both.

I wonder often what sort of powers my son inherited from us. His Illyrian heritage is dominating and clear as day but he’s way too young to even try and predict what strengths he’ll grow into, even though he’s been surrounded by those small tendrils of night almost from the day he was born, ensuring us that the Night Court magic on my line was strong with him. Even now, even with both out mental shields up, either Feyre or I sometimes find ourselves pulled into one of his dreams.

Given that he’s never shown any predilections for any other Courts, we believe that it’s highly unlikely he’s gotten any of that from Feyre, but we’ll have to wait and see. And then, there are Amren’s conclusions about the Archerons. Having watched the sisters for the last decade, she concluded that there must’ve been some strong Fae heritage somewhere in their line because the way that they had taken to the magic after being Made was remarkable. Not only with Feyre’s combined Court powers but, maybe even more importantly, because both Elain and Nesta had not only survived the Cauldron but have emerged with powers of their own.

Amren is convinced that Feyre’s winnowing and Daemati abilities are actually her own that would’ve developed regardless of how she were Made. Feyre even joked that she probably should’ve seen it coming too, with how her mother latched onto her and demanded she swore to protect the family, almost like she could see into the future. Who knows what kind of seer powers might’ve flashed right there on her deathbed.

Truth be told, I’m not sure what sort of future and might I even want to wish upon my son. Every time I loosen the hold on my magic and release the pent up pressure, I think if he perhaps wouldn’t be better off without such a well of power at his disposal. For all that I am glad that it gives me the chance to protect my land, my people and my loved ones, this kind of magic isn’t always such a blessing.

But this isn’t the time to ponder such things, I decide. Not when my two great loves are safe and sound, and within my reach.

Quietly, I make my way towards the couch and sit down on the carpet, my left side pressed against the upholstery. I know I didn’t make enough noise to wake them up but Feyre still stirs, a smile already on her lips. Her eyes slowly flutter open, her gaze already on me, and I know she must’ve sensed me, even in her sleep.

I press a soft kiss against her lips and settle down with my head close to hers, Nyx’s wild hair tickling my chin.

We sit in silence for a long while, not even a thought is sent down the bridge between our minds. Eventually, Feyre lifts her hand and runs her fingers through my almost dry hair.

So, who won this year? she asks down the bond, careful not to wake up Nyx.

Cas, I tell her. And he gloated badly enough that we considered locking him up in the birchin for the rest of the night.

Feyre lets out a tiny snort out loud, then immediately clamps her mouth shut, only she shoulders shaking with barely contained laughter. Between us, Nyx mumbles something in his sleep and we both freeze, waiting to see what will happen, but he only stretches a little and settles back down. Obviously, we’ll have to get him to bed eventually but for now, I just want to enjoy this moment.

“You know what you said about not expecting this life,” I whisper to Feyre, recalling our conversation from a couple of days ago.

She nods and I swallow before continuing.

“I was never in a position to even dream about something like this,” I say, my eye fluttering shut as Feyre resumes combing through my hair. “But even if I was, I never could’ve dreamed of this. Even after we were mated, I didn’t see this coming.”

I open my eyes again and see tears glistening in Feyre’s eyes. But there is also a smile on her lips.

“I know,” she tells me and shifts, so that our foreheads are touching. “This is more love and happiness than anyone could’ve even thought possible.”