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Scott, I've been an Admirals fan for twenty years and this has been one of the most incredible seasons in franchise history. How are you feeling about winning the Cup?
Well, it's still surreal to be honest with you. Beginning of the season, it felt like all the pieces were falling into place, you know, Hanney [Lewis Hannigan, left defenseman] filling out our D-line, Meeks [goalie Tyson Mikaud] recovering from that hand fracture, but you can't think about it like that. You just gotta take every game as they come, and that's what we did. We just played hockey, all season, and it turned out to be damn good hockey.
Yes, indeed. And you were obviously an integral part of that success. You were leading in assists this whole season with 45 season goals yourself, and you continued your hot streak in the postseason, winning the Conn Smythe Trophy and scoring two goals in that last crucial game against San Francisco. Now, you've had some ups and downs in your career—
[laughs] Oh, we're not going easy, huh.
—what would you say clicked for you this season for you to put out, as you said, some damn good hockey?
Well, I'd have to say, I stopped lying to myself.
And by that you mean—
Yeah. I am—uh. Sorry. I haven't done this before.
Take your time.
I am gay. I've known that a long time. But I also wanted to play in the MLH. I thought I would have to choose one or the other, and, well. You know what I chose. Hockey gave me a family—i would never deny that. But it meant giving up a part of me. I tried to believe it wasn't too high a cost.
But that changed for you.
Yes. I met a man. He was out—he actually watched his first Admirals game at a gay sports bar—and charming and handsome and I was head over heels, the way it happens in romcoms. I'd thought this was something I could never have, and life had just tossed it into my lap. For the first time I was thinking about life beyond hockey. I was thinking, when I retire, I’ll get to have this.
That was this year?
No, actually. This was 2014.
Really? A mixed season for you, that one.
[laughs] It wasn't all sunshine and roses. I was happy—truly happy—but I was also scared. We couldn't go anywhere together. I asked him not to tell his family, his friends. I knew it was an awful thing to ask, but I didn't see an alternative.
Looks like you found it.
Yeah. Yeah. I didn’t—I wasn't planning it exactly this way, to be honest.
That kiss, it wasn't planned?
No, no, not at all. If it had been I would have at least warned Petey [Admirals GM Pete Raskin] about it. As it happened I really made his life a lot harder.
So you really decided, in front of God and everyone—
I decided that I wanted to be with the person I loved. If you look at it that way it's really simple. Everyone deserves to have that. Being gay doesn't change that.
What you did is was incredibly brave. How has the response been?
Overwhelming, to be honest. I've gotten a lot of messages. So many of them are positive — I've heard from kids, from parents, from Brock McGillis, and I respect the hell out of what he did and what he does. I've also heard some hateful things. Fans are burning my jerseys. I've heard from guys I've played with, guys I respect, and they’re confused, they're upset—their worldview has changed, and that's not an easy place to be.
Do you see things improving? Has the culture of hockey changed at all since you started?
I think it's changing, but it's slow. Players aren't calling each other faggot anymore, but they'll still say cocksucker. If it's a nice room, if you have good guys, maybe they'll say something, shut that shit down. But not every room is like that.
Do you hope coming out will speed that up?
We’ll see. At the very least, maybe some guys will think twice before running their mouths. And maybe other guys, guys who are scared like me—they know what's possible.
That you can be gay, and still win the Cup.
[laughs] I was thinking happy, but yeah, that too.
What does happiness look like for you now?
Mostly the same as before, actually. Playing hockey. Being with Kip. He's been redecorating our apartment—he loves finding new art to fit the space.
So you are going to continue playing? There were rumors you might retire.
I thought about it. It's really tempting, you know, to throw this bomb out there and then walk away. But I still love this game, and I love the team and the fans. And I've got some good hockey left in me still—I want to show them what I've got.
After this year, nobody could argue with that.
Lily: He is so boring.
Jane: Coming out after winning the MLH Cup Final is boring?
Jane: I think it was really brave.
Lily: No
Lily: He thinks cocksucker is bad word
Lily: Do you think it's bad word, when I call you that?
Lily: I think you like it.
Lily: I think you like being good at it.
Jane is typing…
Call from: Jane