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Despite the heating being on full blast, the inside of the Bristol felt barely above freezing, but I knew better than to comment given how precious Detective Inspector Tommy Lynley was about his very expensive classic car.
My mood wasn’t improved by his insistence on listening to Christmas carols, which all seemed to date from around the time the car was new! What made it even worse was that he was intent to sing along.
My inner Grinch was cringing so hard I was surprised I hadn’t turned inside out!
“Deck the halls with boughs of Holly, Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la..”
The snark escaped before I could stop it.
“With the size of Howenstow you’d better get started now for next Christmas!”
“Is that an offer to help Barbara?”
“I thought you had staff for that sort of thing.”
“We do have staff, as you well know having met them, but that doesn’t mean that we expect them to do everything for us. We happen to enjoy decorating for the festive season just as much as anyone else.”
“I don…”
“Anyone who isn’t you. You may not enjoy Christmas Barbara, but it doesn’t mean that you have to rain down on everyone else’s happiness.”
“Sorry.”
“Once more with feeling and I might just believe you Havers.”
“I’m sorry Sir, but this time of year always gets on my last remaining nerve, no matter how hard I try to stop it.”
“Would I be correct in saying Christmas in the Havers household wasn’t always a joyful thing?”
“You would, but I don’t want to talk about it. What was it you said, not to rain down on everyone else’s happiness.”
“There’s a difference between being aggressively negative about everything Christmas and talking to a friend about why you find Christmas so hard.”
“You had a front row seat to my family’s implosion Sir, that should tell you everything you need to know.”
“And you weren’t backstage to mine Barbara. You need to forgive and move on; all this bitterness isn’t doing you any good.”
“It’s that we try that makes us heroes, not that we necessarily succeed.”
“Oh, so you do listen to what I say.”
“Sometimes.”
I tried to ignore the feeling his smile of delight gave me. Now was not the time or place to lower that particular barricade.
“You’re too hard on yourself Barbara. You lived through some very difficult years, carrying much more than your fair share of responsibility. You’re allowed to put that burden down now.”
“It’s not that easy.”
“Nothing worth having ever is. Look, I can’t wave a magic credit card over your emotions and make them disappear...”
“You could paint them duck white.”
“But what I can do is be there, when you’re ready, just as you were for me when Helen died.”
“It isn’t the same Sir.”
“Not exactly no, I’ll give you that. But when someone is hurting you offer them a helping hand. No pressure, letting them know that you are there, whenever they are ready.”
“Thank you, Sir.”
“You’re very welcome.”
“And I would help you deck Howenstow’s halls with holly, but only if there was breakfast first.”
“You’re never going to forgive me for that are you?”
“I’ll try.”