Chapter Text
Mike’s POV;
I did it again. Of course I did, I’m just a major fuckup after all. I watch as blood streams down my arm and on to the floor.
I’ll have to clean this up..
I get on my feet and run my arms under the sink. It stings and I feel a weird sense of relief.
There’s a knock on the door.
Shit.
“Mike? Are you in there?” It’s his sister’s voice. “You’ve been in there for a while now.” She says with a worried tone.
“I’m fine! Just.. hold on a second”
I turn off the tap and pull down my sleeves, before opening the bathroom door. “Sorry, I just had a big shit.” I say laughing, fake of course, but a laugh nonetheless.
“Ew Mike, gross” She says before pushing me away and locking herself in the bathroom.
I go up to my room, where Will is reading lord of the rings at my desk.
The Byers had been living at ours since they came back from Lenora. Will and Jonathan were living in the basement while Joyce had taken the spare bedroom.
Will liked to hang out in my room though, which I didn’t really mind, it was nice to have company. Well, that was when I hadn’t just cut up my arms that were still bleeding.
Will looks up at me and smiles.
“Hey Mike!” He says, grinning softly.
I smile back trying to cover up the fact that my arms are currently bleeding and it’s about to go through my shirt.
I had to come up with an excuse.
“Uh, I’m going to get changed into my pyjamas, could you maybe leave for a sec?” I say, trying to not sound suspicious.
“Yeah, of course!” Will says, before leaving the room and making his way down to the basement.
‘Thank god it isn’t daytime’, I think to myself, before stepping in and locking the door.
I get out an old t-shirt and hold it tightly around my wrist to stop the bleeding.
Why do I even do this?
I get changed and lay down on my bed.
Fuck this shithole.
Will’s POV;
I was hanging out in Mike’s room reading lord of the rings, when I hear the door open. I look up to see who it was. It was Mike, with a surprised look on his face.
“Hey Mike!” I say, hoping I hadn’t been in the way.
He says he’s going to get changed and asks if I can leave for a bit, which I obviously respect, so I make my way down to the basement with the book still in my hand.
I sit down on the basement couch, trying to find the page I was on in my book. Suddenly I hear my name being called from upstairs. It was Mike. And he sounds scared.
I rush up the stairs to find Mike standing in the kitchen. His eyes were completely white and flickering.
Vecna.
“shit, SHIT” I exclaim, running over to him.
I shake his shoulders violently as I scream at him to wake up. He suddenly lifts up in the air and I take a step back.
I watch with horror as his bones crack one by one. I knew what was coming as it happened. I start crying as his eyes get violently popped back into his skull.
“Will? WILL WAKE UP!” It was Jonathan’s voice. My eyes jolt open. I start hyperventilating and crying as Jonathan pulls me into a tight hug. “Shhhh, it’s okay, it’s okay. I’m right here.”
It was just a stupid vision, but does it mean something? I really hope not..
Mike’s POV;
I wake up to a knock on the door. I realise I had dozed off, and that I forgot to unlock my door.
I groggily look to my left to check the small clock on my bedside table- It reads 7:00 AM. Shit. I’m going to be late for school.
I quickly get up and unlock the door. Outside i find Will looking annoyed, fully dressed and ready.
“Shit, I’m sorry! I didn’t realise the time” I say, waiting for a response. Will just looks at me with an annoyed look and sighs.
“Just.. hold on a second!” I say as I quickly close the door and put on some clothes that I found on the floor. They don’t really match, but it doesn’t matter right now.
I pop a piece of gum as a substitute for brushing my teeth, before I get my bag and head out.
We all usually meet outside of school, and today’s not an exception. I say hi to Lucas who was rambling about Max like usual.
I turn around and see El, who has a thoughtful look on her face. “Hey, what’s up?” I ask. She snaps out of her thoughts and smiles at me. “Not much, uhm, I was just thinking about math class.” She says anxiously.
It seems like she’s hiding something, but why would she be hiding something from me? She usually tells me everything. At least eventually..
The bell rings and me and Will head to class. Will and I are in history class together, which is the first class of the day.
I try to focus, but I can’t seem to ignore Will’s expression. It’s a mix of worry and sadness.
“Hey, you okay?” I ask him with a wary look. His head jolts up to look at me, he looks almost scared.
“Uhm, oh yeah, yeah I’m fine!“ he says, before quickly turning his face back towards the desk. “You sure? You know you can talk to me”
He stays silent, his eyes darting around the room. “Maybe later..” he says quietly. I nod my head and smile softly at him.
Will’s POV;
I try my best to focus in class, but it’s kinda hard when I literally just had a vision of my very best friend getting brutally murdered by a monster from another dimension.
Not to mention he’s my first and only love, even though I know he’ll never love me back.
He’s just so perfect; his beautiful black curls, his gorgeous dark eyes, his perfectly pale skin and his adorable little freckles, combined with his awesome personality, makes it impossible not to fall in love with him.
It just seems so wrong that this beautiful, amazing boy is going to get targeted by the disgusting, horrible creature that is Vecna.
I guess that’s what Vecna does, he takes away all the good in the world and leaves the rest of us hurt and traumatised, so he can then target us.
I look back at Mike with tears in my eyes.
I can’t lose him. I just don’t know what to do, what the actual fuck are you supposed to do in this situation? It’s not like I have any powers, and El’s are still weak.
The school bell rings. Fuck. How long have I been distracted for? I get up to leave for the next class, when everything suddenly turns cold and dark. I quickly turn around to Mike, only to find that he’s not there, in fact, no one’s there. It’s only me.. or..?
Suddenly there’s a loud screeching sound. Chills run down my spine and I’m suddenly a kid again, hiding from the demogorgon.
All the memories come rushing back, but they’re not just memories, they’re alive. They’re real.
I’m suddenly pinned back against the cold, veiny wall, as I feel the vine being forced down my throat once again.
“WILL! Will, Jesus, are you okay?” Mike asks worryingly.
I find myself sitting on the floor with my hands covering my ears, my eyes watering. I look around to see that I’ve acquired quite the audience, and everyone is looking at me strangely.
Mike pulls me up from the floor and into a tight hug. I can feel the eyes on me as I cry into his shoulder, but it doesn’t matter. All that matters is that I’m here in this world, in Mike’s arms.
Mike’s POV
The bell rings and I stand up from my seat. I’m about to go to my next class when I catch Will looking around in fear. I ask him what’s wrong, but he doesn’t answer. I watch worryingly as he starts hyperventilating and sinks down to the floor.
He’s having another episode.
He had told me that he sometimes gets flashbacks from the past, from when he was in the upside down. This must be another one of those moments.
Will puts his hands over his ears, and I grab his shoulders, yelling at him to snap out of it. When he finally does I pull him into a tight hug. He sobs into my shoulder as I run a hand through his soft, brown hair.
I turn around to see people staring, so I let go and tell them to go away.
I escort him to ms. Kelley’s office, where I sit down with Will while he tells her what happened.
Ms. Kelley decides Will should go home, so she calls our line, but no one picks up. Everyone is at work or school, and my mom said she was going to a spa today, so she wasn’t home either.
Me and ms. Kelley decide it’s not a good idea to leave Will home alone after an episode, so despite Will saying he’s fine to be on his own, we decided that I should leave with him.
When we get home, we head up to my room, because it seems like that’s where Will feels the safest. We sit down on my bed, and we make eye contact. Wow.. How have I never realised how beautiful his eyes are?
“What?” Will asks with a laugh, and I realise I had been staring. “Oh, no, no it’s nothing..” I say quickly. I needed to change the subject, and I had to talk to Will about what had happened, so I ask; “How are you feeling by the way?”
Will’s POV;
“How are you feeling by the way?” Mike asks me cautiously. I don’t know if I should tell him the truth or not. If I should tell him that I’m not fine, that I’d seen him get brutally murdered in one of my visions.
“I’m.. fine I guess..?” I say, hoping he would push me to give more information.
When he doesn’t, my thoughts start spiralling, before I quickly blurt out;
“I saw you die in one of my visions.”
Everything turns silent. I watch as his expression changes from surprised, to confusion, to sadness, and.. a weird sense of.. relief?
“Oh.. I-” I cut him off with a loud sob, and I go in for a hug. He hugs me back, putting his head on my shoulder.
“I- I just don’t know what to do” I cry out “I don’t want to lose you.. I- I can’t lose you”
I’m full on sobbing now. Mike grabs my hand and stares at me with tears in his eyes. “It’s gonna be okay.. I- I’m sure it’s just a vision.. right?” He says, trying to comfort me.
A single tear runs down his cheek. He hugs me again, and I can feel his heartbeat. It’s fast, yet calm.
How is he so.. fine about all of this..? I literally just had a vision about Mike dying. And he’s just.. fine with it?
“It- it was Vecna..” I blurt out. “I- I think you’re his next victim..”
I watch as his face goes from calm to frightened. “Have you.. experienced any signs..? Like, nosebleeds, headaches.. anything like that?” I ask.
He thinks for a second. “I.. don’t think so..?” He says, calming down again.
Mike’s POV;
Holy shit.
It’s like I can’t even process the words coming out of Will’s mouth.
I was Vecna’s next victim. And I had no idea when it was going to happen. When I was going to die.
Well, it’s not like I didn’t want to die, but this isn’t exactly the way I was invisioning to go out. I mean, who wants to get all of their bones cracked? Who wants to get their eyes popped back into their skull?
I should just kill myself now, do everyone, including myself, a favour..
I knew I had some time though; I hadn’t experienced any of the symptoms yet, at least not any I can remember..
My thoughts are abruptly interrupted by the front door opening.
Will and I run down the stairs to find my mom, standing in the doorway.
She pauses when she sees us. “Hey mrs. Wheeler!” Will exclaims. “You boys are home early” she says with a questioning look. “Yeah, uhm.. Will didn’t feel well, so we went home.” I say, hoping she won’t question it any further.
My wrists suddenly start to ache, and this sudden wave of sadness flashes through me.
It’s like it all suddenly hit me. And there was only one thing that could make it better.
I excuse myself to go to the bathroom, where I lock the door and sit down on the floor.
I pull up my sleeve and trace my finger over my healing cuts. There was still space left in between them, I could make more.
I fish out my blade from my hiding spot, placing it over my wrist and slowly pushing down.
If Vecna was going to kill me anyways, there was no point in holding back, right?
I quickly swipe left and the blood forms in little beads. It wasn’t enough.
I push down again, harder this time, using all my force to swipe.
This time, blood comes rushing out of the cut, quickly running down my arm.
I close my eyes and breathe in slowly, before I do the same to my other arm.
This was it. This is how I was going to die. I wouldn’t let Vecna have the pleasure of killing me.
I was going to kill myself.
Will’s POV;
I talk to mrs. Wheeler for a bit, while I wait for Mike to come back. I look up at the clock. Ten minutes, twenty minutes, half an hour..
‘Maybe he has gone back to his room’, I think to myself, before walking up the stairs to check on him.
I knock on the door. “Mike? Are you in there?” I ask softly. No answer.
I gently open the door, only to find that he’s not there. He probably just went to the bathroom.. right?
I sit in his room and wait for him to come back, but he never does.
My thoughts start to spiral; did something happen? If so, what happened? Is he okay?
Where is he?
I leave his room and head towards the bathroom. I knock on the door, but no one answers, so I try to open the door.
It’s locked.
I knock frantically on the door. “Mike? MIKE!” I yell, banging against the door.
“Mike open the door!”
Shit.
What had happened? Did he fall and hit his head? Did he pass out?
Either way I knew I needed to get in.
I run to Nancy’s room, searching frantically for a hair pin. She had taught me how to pick a lock, just in case.
I find one and leap back to the bathroom, before I carefully pick the lock and open the door. Nothing could have prepared me for what I was about to see.
My stomach drops. Mike is laying on the floor, unconscious, with a pool of blood beside him. “Mike!” I yell out. I drop to my knees beside him and start crying.
I shake him frantically, trying to get him to wake up.
Mrs. Wheeler must have heard my yelling, because she’s now running up the stairs, unknowing of what had happened.
“CALL 911!” I yell, full on sobbing now.
Mrs. Wheeler gasps before running down the stairs again, down to the landline.
I get a cloth and wet it, before laying it on his pale, cold wrist, putting pressure to stop the bleeding.
How long had he been out for? We needed to get him to a hospital immediately.
I stay with Mike until the ambulance arrives. It thankfully didn’t take long, since it’s a small town.
The paramedics rush up the stairs and carry him down to the ambulance. Me and Karen are allowed to come with to tell them what had happened.
I sit with Karen in the waiting room, bobbing my knee up and down, trying as hard as I can not to cry.
How have I never noticed? When I think back on it, it seems so obvious. All the times he wouldn’t talk, all the times he’d look like he was about to cry, all the times he’d flinch when I grabbed his wrist.
All the times it was obvious he wasn’t okay.
I had been so focused on myself and my own problems, that I hadn’t been able to see his.
God, this was all my fault. If I had noticed, maybe I could have helped him. But now I’m sitting in a waiting room at a hospital, not knowing if he’s going to make it out alive.
Mike’s POV;
I wake up to a gruelling headache. Not knowing where I was, I look around to find myself in a hospital bed, several nurses around me. I look down at my hands, which are pale and shaky. My wrists are thickly bandaged, heavy like clubs.
I realise I had failed. Failed at the only way to escape this hell.
I hear a door open and I look up. It was my mom. And.. Will.
He has tears in his eyes, and when he catches my eye, he runs up to me and starts full on sobbing.
“Mike.. I-I’m so sorry. I-” he gets cut off by a loud sob. “It’s all my fault” he cries, as I pull him into a tight hug. “No, no it’s not your fault.” I say gently “I’m sorry..” I start crying too, as I nuzzle into his shoulder.. wait. Stop. I catch myself doing it and quickly pull away.
That’s what you do with your girlfriend. Not your best friend. Especially not if they’re a boy. It’s a sin.
“Sorry” I say while looking down, blushing a little. Why was I blushing? I didn’t feel like that about him. I like El. I’m straight.
Why was I even thinking about that? It’s disgusting.
Will looks around frantically, before taking a step back and sitting down in a chair inside the room.
I huff and lay down on the hospital bed again. My mom comes up to me with a soft smile. “My dear Michael..” she huffs, before hugging me and kissing my forehead. “You know you can always talk to me about anything, right?” she asks, smiling sadly.
I nod, although I know I probably won’t talk to her about it.
I just wanted to fucking die. And now everything is ruined. Because of me.
Because I couldn’t wait until the night, when no one would find me. I should have left. I should have gone to the quarry. I should have jumped. If El hadn’t caught me that time, I would be dead and everything would be fine.
I’m just so angry at myself. Angry for not doing it properly.
I had to try again.
Will’s POV;
I’m so worried about him. He’s my best friend and he almost just died.
He almost just killed himself.
He had been sick, and I hadn’t noticed, I hadn’t been there for him. I’m such a fucking idiot.
I start crying while watching Mike sleeping in his bed. I could go home if I wanted to, but I don’t want to, I can’t. Not now, not when I almost just lost him.
I just want to hold him and never let go. I put my head in my hands and start sobbing. I just love him so much, he was my first ever friend, the first person who actually seemed to care.
The only person who didn’t see me as a freak.
I sit there for a while, just looking at him, before the doctor comes up to me and tells me I need to go home.
Mike needed space, and I needed to give that to him, so I take the bus home.
At home I go straight to my room and slump down on my bed. I was tired as hell, but also worried as hell, so I just stay in this weird, half-asleep state, wondering what Mike was thinking right now.
And most importantly, was he okay? I can imagine not, considering what had just happened, but you never know..
I finally doze off, still with my clothes on; I couldn’t really be bothered to change.
Mike’s POV;
I wake up the next morning feeling like absolute shit. All I can think of is Will.. he’s so pretty.. wait- no, stop. What the fuck is wrong with me? I’m not like.. that.
I try to think about El instead, but the thoughts of her flicker and my thoughts about Will come back even stronger.
Oh.. oh.
Why do I feel like this? Something is seriously wrong with me. This feeling is.. wrong.
I roll to my side and scrunch up into a ball. I just hate myself so much, I don’t deserve to even be here.
I think back on all of my past moments with Will. That feeling.. I never felt it with El, I never felt it with Lucas, or Dustin, or Max.. not with anyone.
I always thought it was just because he was my best friend.. but I think it’s.. something else.
My eyes start watering and all I want is Will by my side. I just want to hug him and never let go, because he’s the only person who might make me feel better.
I look over at my mom, who is sitting in a chair, dozed off. “Mom?” I say softly.
She gets snapped out of her doze, and groggily says; “yeah?”
“When will I get to go home?” I ask, hoping the answer is ‘whenever you want to’, because I really, really want to go home.
“I can ask the doctors honey.” she says, before leaving the room to go find a doctor.
She comes back with a stack of papers and tells me we can go back home soon.
I feel relieved that I get to go home, and that I’m not stuck in this place.
I ask her about the papers; “It’s instructions on how to care for your stitches, and information on when we’re coming back to get them out.” she informs me, sitting down on the bed and cupping my cheek. I push her hand away and turn around so I’m not facing her anymore.
“Okay.” I say dryly, before closing my eyes and letting out a breath I didn’t know I was holding.
I had to see Will again, just to confirm that these feelings weren’t real, and were just something I was making up inside my brain.
I hate my brain.
Will’s POV;
I wake up to someone knocking on the basement door. “Will? Are you awake?”
It’s my mom. “Come in!” I yell. She comes downstairs, and sits down beside the mattress.
“Hey sweetie.. how are you feeling?” She says, smiling softly. I think about it, and I realise - I don’t know.
I don’t know how I feel. I feel so much, yet nothing at all.
“I’m.. fine, I guess?” I tell her, hoping she won’t question it further. She rubs my arm and asks; “Do you know how Mike is?”
The question catches me off guard, and I can feel tears forming in my eyes.
Everything comes rushing back; Mike had tried to kill himself, and I was the one who found him.
The pictures of him passed out on the floor play in my head again and again, like a horror movie set on repeat, only it wasn’t fictional; it was real.
I shake my head lightly, before I put my head in my hands and start sobbing.
My mom comes up and hugs me, running her hands through my hair.
“It’s okay baby, I’m right here, okay?”
I nod my head, letting out a small ‘mhm’, letting her comfort me, because I kind of needed it right now.
Then I remember the other problem; Mike was being targeted by Vecna, so if he doesn’t kill himself, he still might die because of him.
I start sobbing even harder as I think about how much I love Mike, and about how there’s a really big chance I’m going to lose him.
I pull away, laying down on the mattress the Wheelers had set up for me to sleep on.
I ask my mom to go away, so that I could get some space to think. Think about what was going to happen, and how I was going to stop it.
I couldn’t let Mike die, I just couldn’t. I was going to save him, whether it was from himself or from Vecna.
I couldn’t let him go.