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To be fair, Chan hadn't known that his Christmas gift to Hansol had a curse on it.
I didn't know! I really didn't know! "I didn't know! Really!"
Chan looks at Hansol with wide, distressed eyes. Hansol believes him. He'd probably believe him even if he couldn't hear his thoughts, because Chan's never been a liar, but being able to hear his thoughts definitely helps.
I've cursed hyung, oh no, oh god, this is so bad, but I didn't know, I really didn't know-
Hansol has already tried covering his ears, but it's no good. The sound of thoughts is being input directly into his mind.
Chan's headphones hang uselessly around Hansol's neck.
Take it off him! Maybe that will help-
Mingyu leans over in front of him, mind full of far less panicked, much more decisive thoughts. He grabs the headphones from around Hansol's neck and pulls them off. Hope this works-
"Did that help?" Mingyu looks at him hopefully.
Please let that work, or hyung is going to hate me-
"I don't hate you, Chan," Hansol says, even though his teeth are slightly grit. Mingyu and Chan's faces falls. Shit, Mingyu thinks.
A barrage of thoughts in Mandarin immediately fill Hansol's brain as Junhui leans over into their little circle, eyes curious. As it turns out, Junhui thinks at three times the speed that he talks — which is already fast — and the only thing Hansol is able to make out with the little Mandarin he knows is Chan and where and buy this. It's dizzying. Junhui takes the headphones from Mingyu's hands and holds them in the air by his thumb and pointer finger, like they're coated in poison, and looks at them.
There's another wave of thoughts that Hansol can't make out. "These are cool!" is Junhui's verdict. If Hansol wasn't so overwhelmed, he might find the process of Junhui's mind outputting his Chinese thoughts into Korean spoken word at lightning speed interesting. Junhui lowers the headphones and looks at him, eyes bright. "Can you hear my thoughts, too?"
"Yes." He can hear the thoughts of anyone who comes close enough. He grimaces. "They're giving me a headache. I don't understand them."
Junhui laughs, passing the headphones back to Mingyu. "Ha! I'm safe!" He goes over and high fives Minghao, who's watching with confusion.
"Can you hear all of our thoughts?" asks Seungcheol from an armchair across the room, a frown etched on his features as he peers around Jeonghan, who, through the course of the night, has slipped from sitting on the arm of the chair right into Seungcheol's lap.
"I- no," Hansol says. He rubs at his temples. He can still hear Chan's anxiety buzzing around his own head, and Mingyu swiftly trying to brainstorm other possible solutions. Both Chan and Mingyu are on either side of him, within closest proximity. Junhui's thoughts disappeared again as soon as he moved away. "I think you have to come closer for me to hear them."
And because his friends are like this, they all crowd in on him. If Hansol thought they were loud when they talked, it's nothing compared to the absolute chaos of hearing all of their minds at once.
Can you hear me? Can you hear me?
Hansol do you know all my secrets!!!
Hyung going to hate me so much, I know he's lying-
Can you hear me??
We need to call a curse breaker, do I still have that number in my phone from when Soonhyung got cursed?
HELLO?
At least you're not cursed to speak only in rhyme!!! I came up with some SICK verses for Jihoonie, though.
Can this be used for music? Hm.
Do not think of any secrets, do NOT think of any secrets. Do not think about the last night and the way Jeonghan put his tongue on my-
Hansol this is Wonwoo.
Soonyoung's rhymes were better than they had any right to be for a dumb curse, honestly. Got some good songs out of it.
My friendship with hyung is DONE for.
Hansol-ah, you better not tell Mingyu I think he's hot!
I wonder if last night means Jeonghan loves me.
Can you hear me when I think in Korean???
Ugh, I hope this isn't as annoying as when Soonyoung could only speak in rhyme.
Seungcheol's thighs are so firm, I need him to sit back down right now.
Oh, I hate this, I hate this, Hansollie will find out that I-
"STOP!"
Hansol wretches himself away, hands over his ears. He stumbles backward, stepping toward the doorway of Seungkwan and Jeonghan's apartment. He reaches around for the doorknob, but his hand is shaking too much. He puts his hands back over his ears and falls into a crouch. At least it muffles the sound of the Christmas music that's playing over the stereo. But the distance helps, and some of their thoughts fall away.
He can tell that a few of them stand up to help him, though, as their thoughts grow loud again.
Oh no, Hansol!
Is he okay?
This is all my fault!
Hansol!
"Please don't come near me," Hansol manages to choke out. He needs a second. He needs silence. The last of the thoughts recognizes are in Seungkwan's worried tone before they fade as he steps away.
This was supposed to be a fun night exchanging their Secret Santa gifts with each other. And at first, Chan's headphones for him had been pretty sick. They were a shiny black and covered in graffiti print. Then Hansol had put them on, but he didn't hear music.
He heard their minds.
Clearly, removing the headphones was no use. He's cursed.
"Look at these designs," Jeonghan finally speaks into the silence. Hansol looks up, opening his eyes cautiously, and sees Jeonghan inspecting the headphones. He trails a thin finger over one of the sides. "Curse runes are hidden in them, I think. "
"I just thought they looked cool!" Chan wails. He had been really excited to give his gift to Hansol, had handed it over with the biggest smile he'd had ever seen. Hansol feels bad.
"It's any easy mistake to make, Chan-ah," Joshua says, and Jeonghan nods. "They're disguised well."
"Perfectly Hansollie's taste," Seungkwan murmurs.
They really are. If someone did want to curse him, this would be the perfect way to do it. It would be just Chan's luck that he did it accidentally. It's not as if Hansol even noticed before he put them on. Who thinks to check for runes?
"Alright," says Seungcheol, and he has his authoritative voice on. It's a contrast to his inner voice, which has already said so many things that Hansol needs erased from his brain. "Let's figure this out."
First, they message Mingyu's curse breaker. Hansol hadn't been there when they'd broken Soonyoung's curse — which, in Hansol's opinion, had been kind of dope; speaking in fluent rhyme seemed fun — but he knows the curse had been broken cleanly. All Soonyoung had to do was not talk for twenty four hours.
"Maybe Hansol has to not listen to music for a day or two," Wonwoo suggests. It's not a bad suggestion. Breaking a curse often involves confronting an element of self. And Hansol certainly considers music a piece of himself. As for Soonyoung's curse, it had helped him to connect with his introverted side again. Honestly, Hansol thinks he's been more balanced ever since.
If only it was possible to break curses with an incantation, or an antidote. But that's why curses suck so much. They're difficult and twisty.
"I guess we'll see," says Mingyu. He looks at Hansol, putting his phone in his pocket. "I got you an emergency appointment to meet with him in the afternoon. I'll go with you."
Hansol nods, appreciative.
After that, they do a little experimentation. Jeonghan and Joshua lean their heads over the headphones, studying the runes. Everyone else tries to see how close they can get to Hansol before he starts to hear their thoughts. The thought-hearing zone around him seems to be about a six foot radius. It's not terrible, he supposes. At least he has a radius at all.
"So we all steer clear of Hansol's bubble, then," says Jihoon.
Hansol's grateful. But also, it kind of sucks. He's not that much into physical touch, but having to be forced a certain distance from his friends isn't cool.
At that point it's getting late, and they still have presents to exchange. He wants to give Minghao the knit sweater he bought him. It has a cool hood on it and everything. There's nothing to be done about his curse now. Might as well enjoy the rest of their night. Seungkwan put a lot of work into hosting and Hansol doesn't want to ruin that.
"I'm really sorry, hyung," Chan says at the end of the night, standing outside of Hansol's bubble just as Jihoon had instructed.
Hansol would really rather Chan stop apologizing. By now, he's got a killer headache. "It was a mistake," he says. "It happens."
Seungkwan walks over next to Chan and clicks his tongue, crossing his arms in front of him. He has a pretty necklace hanging around his neck that's from Seungcheol. It's nicer than anything Hansol could ever get him. Or get anyone. Seungkwan got all flushed and pleased when Seungcheol gave it to him, and Hansel experienced the powerful urge to draw closer so he could hear what was going through his mind. Except, that would probably be wrong, right?
It's kind of scary, the way he could know things, just by stepping closer.
But Hansol doesn't feel like considering the moral implications of this right now, with his head overwhelmed the way it is, temples aching. Besides, right now, even without the knowledge of Seungkwan's direct thoughts, Hansol gets the feeling that he's about to say something to Chan that isn't terribly nice.
"Curses don't just happen," Seungkwan says, narrowing his eyes at Chan. "Where did you even find those headphones? Did you go somewhere sketchy?"
Chan immediately puffs up. "No! I just went to a music shop!"
"A music shop," Seungkwan says flatly. "Is this some place new that just popped up?" He looks at Hansol. "Are there any new music shops around here?"
"Um-"
But Chan's face is going red. "I'm sure Hansol's been there! It looked really cool! I mean, maybe it's kind of new, but-"
Seungkwan groans and smacks Chan on the arm.
"Ah, Boo-" Hansol says, stepping forward to save Chan from Seungkwan's wrath.
It was new, but how was I supposed to know it would be as scam shop? Who does Seungkwan thing he is, I'll hit him back!
Chan never thinks, he never thinks! Look at this mess he's gotten us in, oh he drives me crazy- !
Hansol stumbles back, the ferocity of their thoughts cutting through his head and catching him off guard. It must show on his face because both Chan and Seungkwan freeze.
"Hansol-" Seungkwan says, anger instantly replaced with concern as he steps forward and reaches out for him.
We've upset him! I hate this! What was he hearing in my thoughts? I hope it wasn't-
Hansol backs away again, the base of his head thunking against the wall. Seungkwan looks a little stricken.
"It's fine," Hansol says. His chest has gone tight, and with the wall against his back, he feels cornered. He really hates this. He hates that it's making him feel this way. And he doesn't want to hear his friends think mean things about each other.
"Yah, what are you two doing to Hansol?" Jeonghan's voice cuts in. He's got an expensive Lego set under one arm from Junhui, and the headphones in his opposite hand. He walks over and looks between Chan and Seungkwan. "Are you thinking things at him?"
It's a relief when Seungkwan steps back, no longer toeing the edge of Hansol's bubble.
"Chan got those headphones from a sketchy shop," Seungkwan mutters, though he's glancing at Hansol guiltily.
"I didn't know-"
"It's an easy mistake, Seungkwannie," Jeonghan says. He holds up the headphones. "Who thinks to curse headphones? Your necklace has a way better chance of being cursed." He gestures to the sparkly new pendant hanging around Seungkwan's neck. Seungkwan frowns.
It's true, necklaces are, statistically, far more likely to have curses placed on them. It's very aesthetic. Headphones don't feel nearly as sinister.
"You're lucky Seungcheollie only shops at the expensive places," Jeonghan says.
"You would know, I'm sure," Seungkwan says, a little petulantly.
"Those headphones were expensive," Chan says miserably.
Honestly, this conversation isn't really helping Hansol's problem, and he wants to go home now. His head hurts. He doesn't want to chance hearing more thoughts. He just wants to go to the curse breaker with Mingyu tomorrow and fix this. It feels weirder than he expects to be separated from his friends like this, even if it's just a few feet. He knows he's complained about Seungkwan touching his ears, but he didn't, like, mean it.
"Don't worry, Hansollie," Jeonghan says, looking at him like he can hear Hansol's thoughts. He's using his most soothing voice — a contrast to the thirst Hansol had glimpsed in his mind, which he also needs erased — and he holds up the headphones. "We'll get this fixed."
*
Hansol and Mingyu go to the curse breaker the next day.
"Maybe there are some thoughts you need to hear," the curse breaker suggests, running his hand over the headphones Mingyu placed in front of him and taking hardly a moment to glance at the runes. Hansol doesn't feel violent, like, ever, but he kind of wants to punch the guy in the face. He maintains a respectful distance from him as Mingyu does all the talking, but he kind of wants to step closer just to see if he's a quack. What's the science when it comes to curse breaking, anyway? Crack some code in his personal life and the curse is broken? This is why Hansol has never been drawn to the more magical elements of life. Magic never follows a structure, it just does what it wants.
Admittedly, his mind has been stretched a little thin already today. During the metro ride and walk here, he'd been subjected to the minds of dozens of random people around the city. Most people are so stressed about- anything, really. A lot of people just complain, mostly about work and the cold December weather. One guy had an annoying song stuck in his head. A college kid was hastily trying to figure out an incantation to get a project done faster. A woman was craving caffeine so badly it almost gave Hansol a headache.
Some people do think positive things. A little boy was looking forward to finishing a chapter book he's been reading. An older man had been looking forward to spending time with his grand kids on Christmas. One girl was happily daydreaming about two members in her favorite band being in love. Which, like, is cool, but- whoa.
Not to mention Mingyu. Mingyu, who thinks a mile a minute, and unlike Junhui, Hansol can understand him. Still, a lot of his thoughts are quite positive about Hansol's situation, which is pretty nice. Mingyu's mind isn't the worst place to be exposed to. There's just one caviate.
He thinks about Seokmin. A lot.
It's not surprising, of course. Everyone knows Mingyu likes Seokmin. It's an open secret, and Mingyu is an open person, which is probably why he doesn't care if Hansol hears his thoughts. But still. It's kind of overwhelming. It's more than Hansol might have expected, which is saying a lot.
So, yeah. Hansol doesn't think there are thoughts he needs to hear.
"Right, so I have to listen to everyone's thoughts, then," Hansol says, irritated, as they leave. "I'm supposed to invade everyone's privacy. Great."
I wonder if I'll see Seokmin before he leaves for Christmas. "Maybe that's not what he meant," Mingyu says. "Maybe he's saying you just need to, I don't know, be more involved in people's lives?"
Hansol furrows his brow. "What do you mean?"
"I don't know…ask people more questions about things?" He's kind of stubborn about his own interests.
Hansol frowns. "I talk about things other than my own interests."
"How'd you- oh yeah." Mingyu scrunches his eyebrows. He can hear my thoughts! "You can hear my thoughts." I hope he hasn't heard me thinking about Seokmin.
Fine, Mingyu wants him to engage more in his life? "I can hear you thinking about Seokmin, man," he says. "You should do something about that."
Mingyu sputters, thoughts going all embarrassed. It's kind of funny, until Mingyu thinks, Me!? He should do something about Seungkwan!
Hansol stiffens. How did Mingyu-
But Mingyu can't hear his mind in return. Right? Hansol's suddenly gripped by a strange, disorienting fear.
"I- " Hansol starts, but doesn't finish the thought because Mingyu's mind cuts him off, back to its flurry about Seokmin, about how Hansol doesn't realize that Mingyu has tried to do something about it, but Seokmin always gets avoidant, which sucks, and kind of rude, which should also suck but he's kind of hot when he's looking at Mingyu with disdain, and-
"Ugh, dude," Hansol says, shoving him away. Mingyu stumbles dramatically and widens the space between them until Hansol can't hear his thoughts anymore.
"I don't know how to make my thoughts quiet!" Mingyu says, pouting. A faint pink is crawling up his neck.
Mingyu's hard to make quiet even when Hansol can't hear his mind. But it's not his fault. Mingyu shouldn't have to school himself because Hansol's got a dumb curse on him. A woman speeds by between them, reciting mathematical formulas and complicated incantations in her head at rapid speed, the heavy stress of an upcoming test lurking behind them.
Hansol rubs at his forehead as she speeds off, her thoughts fading. That's why he dropped out.
And clearly, Mingyu's mind is not the one he's meant to hear to break this curse.
Hansol opens his mouth. Closes it. Looks at Mingyu. "What did you mean when you said, I mean, when you thought-"
"You really need an explanation?" Mingyu cuts him off, the pink reaching his cheeks. As much as he might like Seokmin when he's rude to him, there's been a real longing in his thoughts, more serious than Hansol might have guessed it was before all this. Hansol wonders if he should tell Mingyu that Seokmin thought he was hot at their Christmas party.
But it would be wrong to go sharing private thoughts. If Mingyu heard his thoughts about Seungkwan, and then went telling Seungkwan, he'd feel betrayed. Hansol isn't about that. It's his duty to mind his own business.
Besides, Hansol wasn't going to ask Mingyu about Seokmin, anyway. He wanted to know what Mingyu was thinking about him and Seungkwan.
If Hansol has to deal with his friends exposing themselves, it was only a matter of time before some of their true thoughts about him became known, too. And apparently that means calling out his feelings for Seungkwan, which is embarrassing. It's weird, hearing something so personal to his own heart acknowledged in the most private space of another person. He doesn't like it.
It leaves a weird feeling in his stomach. Maybe it's better not to pursue it.
Hansol needs to break this curse as soon as possible. He'll try to be less private, or selfish, or whatever it was Mingyu was insinuating about him. He needs to try.
*
In the following days, going to work is more torturous than it's ever been. While it's never been his absolute favorite place to be, Hansol has always liked his job well enough — he learns a lot assisting at a podcast studio — but it's not until now that he realizes just how truly negative so many people are. Negative about their shows, about their co-hosts, about the smallest tasks possible. And now, just on the verge of the holidays, fuses are short and people are eager to get to their vacation days. And people complain about that, too. They complain about buying gifts, about making meals, about seeing relatives. The studio manager was wondering how she could put a curse on her mother-in-law.
Hansol wishes he could tell her not to be so casual about that, because being cured really sucks.
He tries to stay mindful about breaking his. But it's hard to listen to thoughts when all he does is hear them. And he wants nothing to do with so many of the ones he hears.
Hansol tries not to use the word torture lightly, but that's kind of how it feels. It's suffocating, the way he can't block the thoughts. Physically blocking his ears does nothing, though he still does it out of reflex. He knows he's the one peeking into their minds, but the lack of control, the lack of keeping them out, feels like an invasion of his own space. His own peace of mind.
So he's not particularly social this week. He stays away from people as best as he can, grateful for the open office plan so he can sneak away to work in corners where people can't pass by his bubble. When he absolutely can't avoid people, he tries to stay around his more positive coworkers. Jiyoo is excited to go home and spend time with her family. Taeri can't wait to see the look on her little daughter's face when she opens her Christmas gifts. Gunwoo is excited to sleep. Taeyoon is looking forward to cooking a big meal and genuinely enjoys the show he's currently working on. It's not all bad.
It's just a lot. Hansol goes home, exhausted, and he lies down and he sleeps without eating dinner and wakes up and does it all over again.
His friends check in on him. They call, send texts. He knows they don't really know how to handle seeing him physically. Hansol doesn't know how to handle seeing him physically. Every day since he and Mingyu visited the curse breaker, he's felt a little more downcast. It's not exactly conducive to the Christmas spirit.
And it really does suck. On Friday, a bunch of the guys are going out to a Christmas market, and then to see some lights, and usually Hansol doesn't hate crowds, but the thought of being in one right now— he thinks his head would actually explode. Being cursed sucks bad. He hates missing out on things. Seungkwan organized it and everything.
At work on Friday morning, he finds himself kind of wallowing about it in one of his hidden corners, laptop untouched on his knees in front of him. He pulls out his phone and opens his messages with Seungkwan.
Hansol
boo
being cursed rly sucks ://
Is he being a baby? Maybe a little. But his patience with all of this is really starting to wear thin. He misses his friends. He hasn't seen Seungkwan since he was cursed. His phone buzzes with a response almost immediately.
Boo
Hansollie :(((
If you want I don't have to go to tonight
I can come over and not stand too close and we can hang out!
Perhaps it should be comforting, but instead the offer fills Hansol with a sudden sadness. The thought of Seungkwan coming over and not immediately filling Hansol's space, of Seungkwan intentionally keeping his distance, is just wrong. That's not what Hansol wants.
Honestly, Hansol has a fear. He hates to admit it, but after hearing so many different, private things in many different minds this past week— he doesn't want to discover that Seungkwan's mind is a place he'd rather not be. Not that he thinks Seungkwan is thinking anything terrible. He trusts Seungkwan, he knows Seungkwan, and he knows that Seungkwan says most of his thoughts out loud, anyway. Seungkwan would rather talk about secrets, not keep them.
That's not it, not really. Hansol can handle Seungkwan's emotions, rocky as they may be. He can handle any secrets that he does have. He's been privvy to quite a few of them over the years. Hansol just—
Hansol sighs and bangs the screen of his phone against his forehead.
He doesn't want to get a glimpse inside Seungkwan's mind only to find out that Seungkwan doesn't return his feelings.
Hansol
nah, you should go have fun
Boo
:(
It's not as much fun without you there
Who will stop me from making dumb purchases? :(
Hansol
not chan
:P
Boo
ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
You're so annoying ㅋㅋㅋㅋ
Hansol smiles at his phone. Seungkwan always makes things feel better. Still, he's not going to make Seungkwan miss out on his fun, festive night that he planned just because Hansol's wallowing in his curse.
His phone buzzes again.
Boo I miss you, Hansollie
Hansol's hand tightens around his phone. It's been less than a week since they've seen each other. But yeah, with the curse and stuff, it's felt like longer. It feels like there's a wall between him and his friends, one Hansol can't figure out how to unlock, and he doesn't like it.
He lets himself absorb Seungkwan's simple words. It's this feeling, this hope, that he's afraid of losing if he's let into Seungkwan's mind.
But what if you hear something you want to hear? Hansol's own brain says to him. It's the part of his brain that's been thinking about what Mingyu thought about him and Seungkwan. The way Mingyu thought Hansol should do something about it.
But it would be wrong, to snoop around in Seungkwan's thoughts. It's just not right. None of this is right. He hates it.
Before he can let the hopelessness of it overtake him again, he opens his chat with Seungkwan up again.
Hansol i miss you too, boo
*
Friday night passes in a lonely haze. When Saturday comes, Hansol's lying on his couch, not really doing anything, when there's a knock on his door. It's Seungkwan, Seungcheol, and Minghao, here for a surprise visit. They're holding take out.
-circles under his eyes, I hope he's not sick…
Hansol's stomach flips slightly at Seungkwan's worry, but he quickly backs away so he doesn't catch anything else. "I'm not sick, Boo."
Seungkwan startles, then puts his hands on either side of his head. Like that might block his thoughts. His cheeks go pink. "You're hearing me!"
"That's kind of the whole thing, Kwannie," says Seungcheol, patting Seungkwan on the shoulder as he makes a beeline for Hansol's kitchen.
"I can't hear you anymore," Hansol says, gesturing to the space between them. "Don't worry, I won't come closer."
Instead of looking reassured, that seems to make Seungkwan wilt a little, sad. He looks soft and sweet in an oversized hoodie, his hair a little wavy like he'd gone to bed with his hair wet the night before, and his is nose is still red from the cold outside. Hansol feels a peculiar sense of helplessness at not being able to go to him. While Hansol isn't the most physically affectionate person of all time, he knows it comforts Seungkwan to be able to touch.
He has no choice, though. From Seungkwan's reaction to Hansol's comment, it clearly distresses him for Hansol to be in his head. Hansol can't blame him.
"Ah, Seungkwannie, he won't be cursed forever," says Seungcheol, laying out the food on Hansol's counter. The aroma fills the air, savory and delicious, and Hansol realizes he hasn't eaten all day.
"I hope not," says Hansol. It feels a little bleak right now.
"What did the curse breaker say, again? That there are thoughts you're meant to hear?" Minghao asks. He's grabbing drinks from Hansol's fridge.
"Yeah," Hansol says. He looks between Minghao and Seungcheol. He says, a little drily, "Anyone want to volunteer?"
"Yah, you don't want to be in my thoughts," Seungcheol says, and Hansol knows that's true, because he's certain he'll learn more about Yoon Jeonghan than he's ever wanted to.
That leaves Minghao. He's looking at Hansol thoughtfully. "I guess we could try," he says after a moment. "I trust you. What if we meditated?"
Hansol has no idea what that will do, but anything is worth a try, really. Maybe it will bring them into a deeper form of consciousness, or something. And it's nice, to know he has Minghao's trust like that. He's one of the most private people Hansol knows. "Sure," Hansol says. "Thanks."
"Food first, though," says Seungcheol. "You sit there, and we'll…go over here."
It's kind of weird, the three of them sat around Hansol's counter while he sits alone at his small kitchen table, but it's better than nothing. He's needed time with friends after the week he's had. He appreciates it. For a little while, it's almost like things are normal, laughing with them and listening as Seungkwan goes on about some story from work a few days ago. Then Seungcheol gets up to grab more food.
-wonder if Jeonghan will want me to come over tonight, or if we've been doing this too much, I don't know what I'd do if he wanted to stop though, oh god, why hasn't he messaged me back? He's probably napping, maybe hanging out with Seokmin. He looked so pretty last night, his lips, his teeth, my nipples are so sore from-
Then Seungcheol steps back to his seat at the counter, slipping right back out of Hansol's thought radius. Hansol's shoulders are rigid. He doesn't say anything. Seungcheol didn't even realize. He was right to tell Hansol to stay out of his thoughts. Hansol is quite certain he won't find the key to breaking his curse in Seungcheol's head.
He glances up and finds Seungkwan looking at him. His eyes are a little wide, like he knows exactly what just happened. Hansol stares back. Seungkwan's gaze flicker to Seungcheol and back to Hansol. Hansol keeps staring. Then Seungkwan turns away, smile curling on his cheeks before he smacks a hand over his mouth.
"What? What's going on?" Seungcheol says, looking at Seungkwan. He looks at Minghao, then Hansol. Hansol just smiles, close-mouthed. Minghao tilts his head at them all.
"What?" Seungcheol says.
Seungkwan starts laughing loudly. Hansol grins.
"Get your situation with Jeonghan-hyung sorted out, hyung," Seungkwan says, wiping at his eyes, and Minghao's giggles join in as Seungcheol starts to sputter.
Hansol laughs. Maybe he and Seungkwan don't need mind reading abilities to know what the other is thinking, actually.
*
A few more days pass, and Christmas is getting worryingly close. Hansol and Minghao try meditating. While it's interesting to perceive Minghao's thoughts in such a state, it doesn't break Hansol's curse, even if Minghao does think some very deep things. It's still, apparently, not what Hansol needs to hear.
And honestly? Minghao is loud. He has so many thoughts. He's so endlessly curious and reflective it starts giving Hansol a headache.
"I trusted you," Hansol says after he expresses his betrayal to Minghao, telling him that he's actually not all quiet energy and, actually, he fits into their group of loud guys very well. Minghao laughs, and in his thoughts, Hansol hears joy.
Hansol starts to get a little stressed, however, as he starts considering spending Christmas with his family and being forced to hear all their thoughts. He loves his mom, but he does not need to be inside her head.
He's just finished eating his lunch at work, hidden away in what has become one of his usual corners, when his phone buzzes. He half expects it to be Minghao with another idea for how to break his curse. Or Seungkwan, with some tidbit about his day. Possibly Mingyu checking in on him. Instead, it's something unexpected.
Jeonghan
Hansol-ah~ meet me when you get off work~
We're going to get Chan's money back
*
Out of all of them, Yoon Jeonghan probably knows the most about how magic works.
Not everyone engages with magic. Most of their friends don't. Minghao could practice his meditation with mind magic, but prefers to keep it as pure as possible. Hansol certainly doesn't engage with magic, except for the fact that he's cursed. He's just never had much interest in it. Learning all the complexities of magic was just never for him. Some people say it makes the tasks of life simpler, but to Hansol, all the studying and memorizing and practicing is just as much work, if not more, as living life without it.
Jeonghan's always liked magic. That's just his personality. He's a natural with twisty, complex things like that. They've always been opposite that way. It's funny how different they are, and how they're two of Seungkwan's closest friends. They don't hang out a lot, just the two of them. Or ever.
Hansol gets off at the train station after work, pulling at his hoodie strings in the chill. He has his (non-cursed) headphones on, which have done nothing to block out people's thoughts, but they do block out physical sound. That's one thing, at least. When he tried playing music it became obnoxiously jumbled with everyone's thoughts, so he had to turn it off, which sucked. Trains are a place he hasn't been able to avoid crowds.
He steps out of the station and onto the sidewalk, trying to keep a wide berth from people as he looks around for Jeonghan. He told Hansol to meet him here. It's getting dark. The sun sets beyond the buildings, the sky turning from a cold, pale blue to the inkier darkness of night.
Hi Hansol.
Hansol glances around. He freezes when he realizes he still has his noise-cancelling headphones on. Which means he heard that in his mind.
Why do you only have a hoodie on? It's winter.
Hansol looks left, then right, and then he turns around to look behind him. It's just a wall. That can't be right. Jeonghan has to be in his bubble somewhere. He turns back around.
"Ah!"
Jeonghan is standing so close they're nearly nose-to-nose. Hansol steps back out of instinct and stumbles into the wall. It's muffled by his headphones, but Jeonghan starts to cackle. Hansol doesn't need to hear it in order to hear it, apparently.
Hansollie's so cute. It's fun to scare people.
"Hyung," Hansol says, and it's close to a whine but not quite, because he's cooler than that when he's with Jeonghan. Seungkwan's the one who gets whiny with him. "That wasn't cool. Were you using magic to hide?"
Hmm. Hansollie will never know.
Hansol frowns. "Talking to me with your thoughts is weird, hyung," he says. He doesn't like it.
Take off your headphones, then.
Oh yeah. Hansol takes them off and settles them to hang around his neck, and the city sounds flood back in. It's a nice, brief moment of peaceful car beeping and the loud rumbling of the train.
Except- wait.
"Why can't I hear your thoughts?" he asks, staring.
Jeonghan smiles. He's in a big dark puffer jacket and a beanie that Hansol thinks belongs to Seungcheol. He's got a tote bag over one shoulder. "I'm not thinking."
Hansol frowns. That can't be possible.
"It's possible," Jeonghan says, shrugging. But there's still a playfulness in his eyes. This is the man that likes to hide in the dark and scare Seungkwan when he comes home at night, after all.
"You're using magic to block your thoughts," Hansol deduces.
"Or maybe I'm just good at not thinking about things," Jeonghan says in that melodic voice he likes to use, and Hansol is surprised to find himself a little annoyed that he can't hear someone's thoughts. Despite everything else, the ability to read minds is a good lie detector.
It's a good lie detector— unless someone's trained themselves not to think. Or worse, how to think in lies. Or they're using magic, like Jeonghan is. Or isn't. Honestly, it could go either way for him.
Hansol hadn't considered this side of things.
But this is why Jeonghan is good at this stuff, and why the complications of it get all twisted in Hansol's own brain. He's better at figuring things out through solid facts. He'd prefer people just be straightforward. He's already getting tired and annoyed, and they haven't even done anything.
Jeonghan's face changes a little. Softens. "Ah, Hansollie, don't get worked up. I just thought it might be easier if you if didn't have to hear my thoughts."
And- oh. Well, yes. That does make it easier. "Oh," he says. "I- thanks."
Jeonghan just shrugs. "Come on, then. Channie gave me the address of the shop he went to." Before they go anywhere, though, Jeonghan reaches into his tote bag and pulls out some hand warmers. He presses them into Hansol's palms. Then he starts directing the way down the sidewalk.
The hand warmers are really helpful, but Hansol starts regretting not having a jacket quickly. His commute to work doesn't usually last long enough that he always cares to grab one, unless it's really cold outside. Now, with the sun fully set, it feels really cold outside. Christmas wreathes line the roads, hanging on the streetlights, which is warmly festive, Hansol supposes. It doesn't really help him, though. He pulls his hood up.
Jeonghan walks right next to him, not speaking, and Hansol really can't hear anything. It's nice. It's also kind of strange. He hadn't realized he'd gotten used to hearing thoughts. It's very Jeonghan, though, to remain elusive this way.
They've been walking about ten minutes, and Hansol has been growing less concerned about hearing thoughts and more concerned with the way he can't feel his face, when Jeonghan suddenly pulls them over at a little street food tent. He orders two cups of soup and a plate of skewers. He immediately passes one of the cups off to Hansol.
The warmth is like heaven when Hansol presses the cup to his mouth. His lips have gone so cold and numb it burns a little. When he swallows, he can feel the heat of the broth going all the way down, radiating outwards.
…Hansol will like these, they're Seungcheollie's favorite…
Hansol looks up, lowering his cup. But Jeonghan is preoccupied with accepting the plate of skewers from the old man, bowing his head in thanks and giving no notice to the thought that just slipped through to Hansol's mind.
Huh.
The mental air between them goes silent again, and Hansol doesn't say anything. Jeonghan passes the skewers over to him without a word and then moves to the next stall. Hansol blinks, both hands full. He quickly finishes the soup so he can throw the cup away.
The skewers are good. Seungcheol has good taste.
Hansol walks over to where Jeonghan is curiously looking at one of those stalls that sell touristy clothes. T-shirts and and sweatshirts hats that say I <3 Seoul . Hansol is about to hold the skewers out for Jeonghan to take, because he can't hog all of them, when another thought breaks through.
No, red is Seungcheollie's color, maybe Hansol will like green…
Hansol frowns. He looks down at the scarf Jeonghan is holding in his hand, a deep ruby color. He puts it back and reaches for the green one.
Hansol hesitates. "You don't need to buy me that."
Jeonghan looks at him. Then he hands it over to the vendor, along with some cash. Well.
Hansol can't tell if Jeonghan is aware that Hansol heard his last thought as he unravels the scarf. It says, in big letters down the length of it, I <3 Seoul. Hansol frowns a little at it, and Jeonghan cackles. He reaches forward and drapes it around Hansol's neck, then sloppily wraps it around him. "Seungkwannie will kill me is you freeze to death because you're not wearing a proper jacket."
Hansol sighs. Whatever. The scarf does help, and it's surprisingly soft.
"Okay, I think you're good now," Jeonghan says, as if Hansol had expressed not being good. Hansol makes him take one of the skewers, and then they're off again.
When they turn a corner and the music shop comes into view, it 's really no mystery why Chan went inside. A neon sign flashes MUSIC, MUSIC, MUSIC on one of the big windows, and the door is plastered with all sorts of posters boasting local shows. It's kind of eclectic. It would definitely attract Hansol's attention if he happened to be walking by.
Inside, the walls are lined with records and shelves are piled with CDs. There are radios, walk-mans, iPods. There's a corner with posters of any band imaginable, probably including the one that girl had been daydreaming of, with the members falling in love.
This places is pretty cool. Sucks that a lot of stuff is probably cursed.
…Seungcheollie likes that band…
Hansol glances over at Jeonghan. He's got his eyes on a one of the displays of CDs. Hansol follows his gaze, trying to see which band it is, but it must be something Jeonghan knows better than him, because it's not a band he recognizes.
Hansol wonders if he should let Jeonghan know that he's catching some of his thoughts, because he doesn't seem to realize. Before he can, though, Jeonghan strolls up to the counter, where a clerk stands. Hansol follows behind.
"Hey," the guy behind the counter says. He's a little older than them, in a flannel shirt. He looks pretty harmless for a guy selling cursed objects. His thoughts, too, aren't cause for alarm. He's sorting through some albums and tapping something out on a laptop in front of him. Numbers line neat and orderly in his thoughts. Interestingly, Hansol can also hear music buzzing in his head, like background music. He glances up at them, and there's a vague, passing thought that Jeonghan is pretty. "Can I help you guys?"
Jeonghan shoots a subtle glance to Hansol. Anything suspicious going on in his thoughts? Jeonghan thinks at him. Hansol gives him a tiny shake of his head.
Jeonghan tilts his head a little. Guess it's no use wasting time, then. He reaches into his tote bag and pulls out the headphones. He places them on the counter. The clerk's eyes fall on them.
Ah, I hope they're not broken, the clerk thinks. We spent good money on those. Art's not cheap.
"We'd like our money back," Jeonghan says, voice perfectly pleasant, "on account of these being cursed."
The man's hands pause over his laptop. Then he sighs. Majorly.
Fuck, was the merchandise cursed? Joon's supposed to check all that. Then he looks back over his shoulder to an open doorway behind the counter. "Joon! You didn't curse-check everything again."
A second later, a man's head pops out of the doorway.
Hansol is immediately hit with by a wave of thoughts of a nature that he hasn't encountered in anyone else so far. They're loud, and confusing, and they run through his head at a rate much, much faster than Junhui's did. "Huh?" His eyes land on the headphones Jeonghan put on the counter.
Oh. Oh shit. Those weren't supposed to go on sale. I must have accidentally mixed them up. Yoongi's going to kill me. But wait- did they actually work?
Then his head starts filling with actual rune language. It's so dizzying and complicated and overwhelmingly noisy that Hansol takes a step backwards.
"They work," he gasps out, rubbing his fingers against the side of his temple.
The second guy's eyes light up. But the first man narrows his. He looks between him and Hansol. "Namjoon-ah," he says, looking to him, "Don't tell me you were playing around with our stuff again."
The second guy — Namjoon — shrinks back into the doorway a little. "Not a lot."
Jeonghan runs his hand over the runes inscripted in the design. "My friend can read minds."
The first guy presses a hand to his forehead, like he's trying to stay calm. He looks down at where Jeonghan is running his finger. The crease between his eyebrows is very deep. "You even messed with the artist's design? Namjoon!"
"I just wanted to see- if maybe it would work- you know, because they're headphones, and hearing, it just seemed like a good object-"
"Yeah, it worked," Hansol says. He doesn't know if he should be annoyed with this guy or not. At least he didn't seem to be cursing objects out of, like, malicious intent.
"I'm so sorry," the first guy, presumably Yoongi, says. "I'll give you your money back." He shoots an annoyed look at Namjoon.
Yoongi goes to reverse the transaction, tapping around his laptop. Some beaded bracelets dangling around his wrist passively make Jeonghan think about the expensive one he knows Seungcheol bought him for Christmas. Hansol looks at Namjoon, who hangs around looking a little cowed in the doorway.
"Any chance you might know how to break the curse?" Hansol asks. If the guy knows something about creating curses, he must know about breaking them. Can't hurt to ask.
Namjoon's expression changes from guilty to thoughtful in an instant. "Ah, breaking curses is different," he says. "I've been cursed a few times, and-"
"He's always getting cursed," Yoongi mutters as he taps around his keyboard. "You'd think that would mean he'd know better than to go creating cursed objects in his free time, but no."
"And it mostly," Namjoon says, as if Yoongi hadn't spoken, "it takes breaking into something about yourself. I've become a pro at self-reflection."
Hansol internally sighs. Wow, curse breaking is so dumb. He has to 'break into something about himself'? What does that mean? This is less useful than what the curse breakers said. Why can't someone just do a spell, or whatever?
Hansol's tired. How's he supposed to self reflect when his mind has been so constantly full of other people's thoughts? Ugh.
As a small consolation for their trouble, Yoongi tells them to take any item they like for free. Hansol stays away from the electronics, and asks to make sure that the record he picks out isn't cursed. He thinks he's right to be a little cautious.
Yoongi assures him it's not cursed. Hansol is close enough to hear his thoughts again, which still buzz with music. It must be a constant thing in his mind. It's kind of cool. God, we only started this business a few months ago, Namjoon's going to get us shut down.
"We won't get you guys shut down," Hansol says. "This is a cool shop. Just, um. Try not to sell any more cursed stuff?"
"Oh, we won't," Yoongi says dryly. Behind him, Namjoon's mind starts to race. He's holding himself back from asking Hansol a million questions about mind reading. Hansol quickly backs away again. Maybe he'll come back another time and talk to him, this curse-maker who seems to do it out of curiosity more than anything else, and possibly talk to Yoongi about music. But not right now.
When he goes to find Jeonghan, Hansol finds him slipping the album he was looking at earlier in to his bag. The one by the band Seungcheol likes.
They step back out into the cold, which is even more biting than it was before. Hansol's hungry and kind of exhausted from all of this. He wants to go home and be alone, far away from all thoughts. He expects Jeonghan to lead him back to the metro, but instead, he pulls Hansol into a nearby restaurant.
"Jeonghan-"
"I'm ordering for us," Jeonghan says, sitting him down at a table in the corner, far away from any other people. Hansol doesn't have it in him to argue as Jeonghan walks up to the counter.
When their food comes, there's a lot of it. Hansol looks at Jeonghan, who shrugs. "Got a lot of money back for those headphones. I need to talk to Chan about how to bargain."
Hansol snorts. He starts to feel better once there's food in him.
"You know, I brought you along because I was hoping they'd have more answers on how to break your curse," says Jeonghan after they've been eating in silence for a little while. He sits back. "Ah, oh well. It's kind of interesting, though, isn't it?" he adds, musingly. "A guy just cursing things for fun."
Hansol sighs. "Maybe to you."
Jeonghan laughs.
"Hey, to some, mind reading might not be a curse," Jeonghan says lightly.
Hansol gives him a dry look. "Whose thoughts are you trying to hear, hyung?"
Jeonghan just shrugs, like he thinks he's elusive. His cheeks puff out a little when he grabs a dumpling eats the entire thing in one bite.
If there is one thing all of this has taught Hansol, it's that you don't always need to hear someone's thoughts to know what they're thinking.
Everyone knows that Jeonghan and Seungcheol have had a friends-with-benefits situation going on for ages. He's listened to so many rants from Seungkwan about how they should just date for real. Or better, "just get married already!" But honestly, Hansol never thought too much about it. He kind of just lets his friends do what they want.
He's minded his own business through all of this. But maybe it comes to a point. Because there's been one very obvious, constant subject in all the thoughts that have broken through Jeonghan's defenses, too loud to be suppressed, it seems.
It's sort of incredible, that Seungcheol worries so hard about Jeonghan not caring for him.
"You know, hyung," he says, looking at him, and thinking that his caring hyung deserves a lot. "Your thoughts aren't as quiet as you think they are."
Jeonghan, about to bite into another dumpling, freezes. He looks back at Hansol.
Hansol shrugs. "Just saying," he says. He grabs the rice and adds some to his plate. "Something tells me the thoughts of the person you want to hear are pretty clear already."
A very faint pink starts creeping into Jeonghan's cheeks. His mouth shapes words he doesn't say. "You- Hansol, that's not-"
"I'm just saying," Hansol says.
I've been practicing my mind-guarding all week, what is this? Seungcheol— Jeonghan's thought cuts off, then comes back in, like a staticky radio —have a good thing going on. I can't ruin it. Losing Seungcheol would kill me, he doesn't understand—
Now that's just ridiculous. Hansol thinks he's allowed to comment on something if it's that stupid. "I have it on pretty good authority that you wouldn't ruin it, hyung."
Jeonghan's faint flush floods red. "Yah!" he says. He kicks Hansol under the table. Hansol moves his feet.
This punk-
Hansol laughs. "Hyung, come on," he says, shifting his legs under the table. "It's sweet, the way you think about him." Every single one of his thoughts about Seungcheol have been laced with such care and tenderness. He's down freaking bad.
He lets Jeonghan off the hook for the rest of meal, though, when it looks like this conversation might be too much for him. Hansol said what he needed to say.
"Don't- you can't tell him my thoughts," Jeonghan brings it up again, just once more, long after they've finished their meal and they're nearly at the point in their route home where they have to separate. Jeonghan's thoughts have disappeared again. Thoroughly. He's fortified his defenses, or something. Hansol still appreciates it, even if it was kind of fun getting let into Jeonghan's head.
"I wouldn't," Hansol says. He looks at Jeonghan. "You should, though."
Jeonghan hesitates, the glow of the Christmas lights in a passing window illuminating his face.
"Trust me, hyung," Hansol says. He pats Jeonghan on the shoulder. His apartment is just down this street. "Thanks for tonight. I appreciate it."
"'Course, Hansollie," Jeonghan says, almost like an afterthought.
And because he can't let Hansol have the last word, Jeonghan leaves this thought trailing after Hansol before he's too far away to hear: And you should do something about Seungkwan.
*
Hansol weathers Christmas.
He realizes there's no use keeping his curse a secret, so he just tells his family he'll be able to hear their thoughts if they get too close. What he didn't factor in was his family using this knowledge for evil. His sister sits beside him at the dinner table and thinks things about their great aunt that she would never dare to say out loud. Hansol's ability to keep a straight face is sorely tested.
"Ah, baby, I can't hug my own son on Christmas?" his mother says at the end of the night.
"Mom, I'm not trying to offend you when I say I don't want to know any of your secrets," Hansol says, and that makes her laugh. Still, he darts forward for one quick hug. Somehow in that split second she manages to think, next year you better bring Seungkwan home for Christmas as my son-in-law.
"Mom!" he pulls back, unexpected heat coloring his face. She just laughs again and pats him on the cheek before stepping out of his bubble.
It's not a terrible holiday. Hansol thinks he's starting to get a handle of this. It's kind of scary, the way you can adjust to something so fast.
A few days after Christmas, Hansol's hanging out in his apartment when there's a sudden, loud banging on his door. He sits up on his couch. He's been playing on his phone the last hour;e he hasn't gotten any new texts.
When he goes to answer the door, he can hear the thoughts already piercing through the wood a mile a minute.
Hansol better be home, haven't seen him in days, what the hell, he needs to text me more, why doesn't he? Does he even like me that much? Jeonghan and Seungcheol-
Hansol's already smiling as he opens the door. "Boo."
What the fuck! "Hansol!" Seungkwan says, pushing his way in. He kicks his shoes off with vigor. "Guess where Jeonghan and Seungcheol are right now!" On a date, they're on a stupid date-
"On a date?"
Seungkwan's mouth opens in a small 'o.' "Who told you?" I wanted to be the one to tell him!
Hansol grins. Seungkwan's so cute. He taps the side of his head.
Seungkwan's face floods red. Hansol regrets it when he immediately distances himself, cutting his thoughts off. But it's fair. Anyway, Seungkwan immediately makes a beeline for Hansol's kitchen. "You better have wine, Hansol-ah!"
He doesn't have wine, but he has some expensive whisky Seungcheol gifted him. Why not have it now?
Seungkwan settles on the couch while Hansol takes the bean bag a respectable distance away. "Tell me, Seungkwannie," he says. It's nice to see Seungkwan after a few days like this. He's all flushed, cheeks rosy from the excitement and the cold, and he's bundled in a sweater Hansol hasn't seen on him before. He must have gotten it for Christmas. His presence fills Hansol's chest with warmth, his apartment with life. "How did Jeonghan and Seungcheol end up on a date?"
Seungkwan narrows his eyes at him. "Jeonghan told me that his little adventure with you the other day was 'enlightening.' And now he's on an actual date with Seungcheol after years of me telling him to get his act together." He slams his hand down on Hansol's little coffee table. "That isn't fair!"
Hansol just grins. Seungkwan's the best.
Apparently, Jeonghan confessed to Seungcheol on Christmas. Gave him a romantic gift and everything— a record by some obscure artist he likes. "As if he needed to get Seungcheol anything," Seungkwan says, rolling his eyes. He holds his empty whisky glass close against his chest.
"That's great," Hansol says. "I knew he had it in him." He remembers the trepidation in his thoughts, his fear of losing Seungcheol. As if he could.
But Hansol gets it. He looks at Seungkwan, curled on his couch. He thinks of what Jeonghan said in his thoughts as they parted ways. He thinks of what his mom said on Christmas. What Mingyu had thought when he hadn't realized Hansol was listening.
He considers saying something. The mere thought of it fills his mouth with cotton.
Is this what he's supposed to do? Is this the self reflection he's supposed to have? Well, he already knew he loved Seungkwan. Suddenly, Hansol really resents this space between them. Are Seungkwan's thoughts the ones he's supposed to hear? How can he, when Seungkwan freaks out every time Hansol gets too close? Hansol can't do that.
They get food, and sit across the room from each other, and Seungkwan talks about his Christmas and seeing his family, and how nice it was to be back in Jeju for a few days, and then more about Jeonghan and Seungcheol, and Hansol wonders why he'd need to hear his thoughts when all Seungkwan does is share his thoughts with him.
"Well, I'm glad they did something about it," Hansol says as Seungkwan starts getting ready to head home, pulling on his coat and jacket. "Their thoughts…they're obsessed with each other."
Seungkwan makes a face. "Ew."
Hansol laughs. "Tell me about it."
Seungkwan's scarf flutters to the floor. Without thinking, Hansol steps forward to pick it up.
-my turn, I want romance. I want that to be me. I want Hansol to be obsessed with-
Hansol freezes, tips of his fingers on the scarf. In the same moment, Seungkwan suddenly stumbles backwards. His back hits Hansol's door, hard.
Hansol blinks, standing up straight again, scarf limp in his hand. His heart crawls up his throat.
Seungkwan looks a little stricken, fearful. "I- should go," he says. He darts forward and snatches the scarf from Hansol, too quickly for Hansol to hear anything else. Hansol just stares, his words unable to form quickly enough.
And then the door is slamming shut, and he's gone.
*
Maybe Seungkwan's thoughts really weren't what he was meant to hear, because Hansol can still hear thoughts.
The thing is, Hansol thinks about it constantly. He picks apart every single word of what Seungkwan thought before he left that night. Inside his mind, he studies the memory of the expression Seungkwan had on his face.
It's a little maddening. Suddenly, it doesn't matter that he can hear other people's thoughts. His own are the ones that are driving him crazy.
It was about him, right? It was about him.
New Year's Eve arrives, and the party is at Mingyu's place.
If there's one thing Mingyu's good at — and Mingyu is good at many things — it's how to throw a party. His placed is decked out in decorations, shimmering gold streamers that hang from the windows, food laid out, and, of course, alcohol.
Hearing his friends' drunken thoughts is kind of funny. It's different from when they're sober, their minds like a stream of words flowing into Hansol's brain like water. His friends have grown slightly more lax over the last few weeks with Hansol's ability. Now, they hardly seem to care at all.
Mingyu's so fucking hot tonight.
Hansol is not drunk, or even tipsy, though he does wonder how it would affect how his mind works with the curse. He still wants to be responsible about it, though. He doesn't want to go hearing things he shouldn't, or use bad judgment. And what if it only makes it worse? What if he has so many voices swirling around his head he can't stand it? Better not to risk any of it tonight.
Seokmin, however, is very drunk. And he keeps having horny thoughts about Mingyu, like, right where Hansol is standing.
It's putting him on edge. Hansol looks around for Seungkwan, because Seungkwan's presence has the power to sooth his thoughts, but he keeps disappearing from Hansol's view and refuses to stay wherever Hansol is. It's kind of annoying, if not a little hurtful. Maybe everything he obsessed about over the last few days was actually about nothing.
Seungcheol and Jeonghan are the last two to arrive, walking in particularly late because that's what couples do, or something. Their hand are clasped between them. Seungcheol's face turns red when Chan whistles at them. But he looks happy, bright, like all the worries Hansol has heard in his head these past few weeks have disappeared.
So when Hansol runs into Jeonghan, getting food at the counter in the kitchen, he's surprised that he actually broke the iron grip he had one Seungcheol's hand.
"Hyung," Hansol says. He nudges him a little with his elbow. "You did it."
Jeonghan glances at him over a skewer of tteokbokki. His thoughts are perfectly silent; he must have perfected his mind blockade. "Hmm," he murmurs. "It was easier than I thought." He shrugs.
Jeonghan really is something. "I'm sure it was," Hansol says.
Jeonghan squints his eyes a little. "Don't act like you know everything just because you've been in his head."
Hansol's mouth twitches. "Don't I, though?"
Jeonghan rolls his eyes. He's not as blatant as Seungcheol, but there's a happiness in his face that Hansol doesn't think he could hide if he tried. Hansol sees it in the curve of his mouth, the light deep behind his eyes.
Jeonghan knows Hansol well. But Hansol, too, knows his hyung.
Hansol smiles. "Well, I'm glad, hyung."
Jeonghan waves a hand. Then he looks at Hansol and says, "Well, are you going to confess to Seungkwan, then?"
That, Hansol doesn't expect Jeonghan to say. "What?"
Jeonghan takes a bite of his tteokbokki. "I upheld my part of the deal."
Hansol gapes. "We didn't make a deal."
"Ah," Jeonghan says. He selects a singular cookie from the platter Joshua brought. "It's not too late." He looks back up at Hansol and smiles a little, like he's laughing at him, or like he knows something Hansol doesn't. Hansol suddenly deeply resents whatever protections he has around his mind.
"Fighting, Hansollie," Jeonghan says, fist bumping him on the shoulder. He walks away, back to Seungcheol.
Hansol stands there.
Unfortunately, Jeonghan's words do linger in his mind the entire night. But even if Hansol did want do that, he can't! He can't, because Seungkwan keeps avoiding him. So, really, whatever.
Mingyu's so sexy, I hate this, who let him wear a sleeveless shirt on New Year's Eve? It's December!
Ugh. Hansol moves to escape the kitchen, because he needs to avoid where Seokmin is.
Midnight approaches quickly. Hansol's thankful, because his brain is really starting to get tired. He talks to Chan for a bit, who doesn't seem to mind Hansol being in his thoughts all that much. He mostly thinks what he's going to say before he says it. It's kind of funny. He's very happy that he and Jeonghan got his money back.
But then midnight starts to draw near, and someone grabs both of them and drags them into the living room so they can all celebrate together. Mingyu comes over and sticks a party hat on Hansol's head.
This year, Mingyu's thinking drunkenly to himself, my resolution is to give up Seokmin. Hurts me. He's got a big smile on his face as he adjusts Hansol's hat. He's definitely not thinking of how Hansol can read thoughts.
Hansol frowns.
Tired of trying. Wish he'd pay attention.
Hansol reaches forward and grab's Mingyu's arm - the bare arm that was so torturing Seokmin - and Mingyu freezes.
"Hyung," Hansol says. He looks Mingyu in the eyes. "Maybe don't give up so fast."
Mingyu blinks. Then his face goes bright pink.
"Ah, shit, I forgot you can hear-"
"Yeah," Hansol says. Behind him, the clock is counting down on the television, and he can see Seokmin glancing their way. "And I'm saying, maybe don't give up."
Mingyu's mouth parts. His eyes dart over to where Seokmin stands across the room, eyes flickering to Hansol's hand on Mingyu's arm. Oh. Wait-
"One minute till midnight!" Soonyoung yells out. Hansol ducks away.
Hansol hopes he didn't overstep, but- he's learning sometimes that maybe it's okay to give people a push when they need it. That's just how it is, being a friend.
The countdown gets louder by the number. Hansol looks around for Seungkwan. He's nowhere in sight. Midnight, and Seungkwan is still avoiding him? Hansol's heart sinks. What a way to start the new year.
Oh well. Whatever. Seungkwan never did want Hansol in his thoughts, anyway.
Everyone starts counting down from ten.
"-six, five, four, three, two-"
"One!" arrives in an explosion of yells and confetti. If there's one thing that Hansol's friends can be trusted with, it's how to be loud. In their minds and with their mouths.
Hansol backs away when it becomes too much, shuffling himself behind the edge of the doorway. The physical sound mixed with the mental chaos is nearly mind-breaking. The thoughts edge away from his mind.
A corner of the room breaks out into shouts. Hansol looks over just in time to see Jeonghan grab Seungcheol by the collar of his nice shirt. He pulls him in for a deep, long, kiss.
Oh my god!
Hansol blinks, startled. That's Seungkwan's voice, in Hansol's head.
Oh my god, Jeonghan! In front of everyone! He's insane. Why do I want to cry? They're so in love. Ugh! This isn't fair-
The cheering swells. Jeonghan and Seungcheol break apart. Seungcheol looks like he might pass out, eyes so bright, looking at Jeonghan. Jeonghan looks back at him like a flower happy to be in the sun.
God, I want that to be me.
Hansol's mouth has gone dry. Seungkwan is standing along the other side of the wall, which does nothing to prevent his thoughts from traveling to Hansol's brain.
I want that to be me, I want a New Year's kiss! I've never had a New Year's kiss! I want Hansol to kiss me like that, in front of everyone. I want it so badly-
And then Hansol is overcome with a wave of thoughts that are full of so much longing, are so powerfully tender and loving, in love, with-
Please, please, this year my wish is for Hansol to love me back-
Hansol's heart is going to beat out of his chest. Suddenly, his mind turns to static, and he can't hear anything.
He feels his feet carrying him back through the doorway.
When Hansol touches his shoulder, Seungkwan startles, gaze going wide. He has glittery makeup around his eyes, cheeks tinged with pink blush. His hair hangs in a wave over his forehead. He's so pretty. "Hansol-"
Hansol wastes no more time. He curls his hand around Seungkwan's waist and without sparing a second more for thought — Seungkwan's or his own — he leans in and kisses him full on the mouth.
It's like Hansol's mind explodes, brain turning to fizz. Seungkwan melts into it, into him, immediately. He tastes sweet, like he was eating the cake Junhui brought, vanilla and sugar that cloy at the tongue. Hansol kisses him deeply. He doesn't care who's watching. Seungkwan wanted to be kissed like this, in front of everyone. Hansol loves him back. Of course he loves Seungkwan back.
When they break apart, Hansol's ears are buzzing. Suengkwan is looking at him with the reddest cheeks Hansol has ever seen. His eyes are wide, his lips shining and parted just so. He's the most beautiful person Hansol has ever seen in his life.
Around them, people are yelling.
"What the fuck!"
"Hansol??"
"WHOA!"
Seungkwan is looking at him like he doesn't quite know what just happened. Hansol kind of feels the same. Like- whoa. They just kissed.
It's so noisy and chaotic that it takes a moment for Hansol to realize.
There must be a thoughts running through Seungkwan's brain. If there's one thing Hansol has learned, it's that Seungkwan always has a million thoughts, at all times. And now, Hansol realizes, he can't hear any of them.
His hand tightens around Seungkwan's waist.
He can't hear any thoughts, by anyone. Except for his own.
"My curse," Hansol says. "It's gone."
"What?" Seungkwan says. He still looks shell-shocked.
"My curse has been broken," Hansol says. He can't hear their thoughts. He really can't hear anyone's thoughts!
Seungkwan's eyes go wide. He's so flushed. "Oh my god."
"Your curse is gone?" Soonyoung butts in, putting a hand on Hansol's shoulder. Then he lifts Hansol's arm up like he just won a race, or scored a goal. He shouts, "Everyone, Hansol's curse is gone!"
The apartment breaks out into louder cheers than they had for New Year's. Mingyu's going to get a complaint by a neighbor if they keep being like this. Hansol doesn't care.
"Wow, how did that even happen?" Junhui asks. He's eating a cupcake and his hair has become full of glitter at some point.
"Maybe it was true love's kiss that broke the curse," Jeonghan says to Hansol. His eyes gleam, and Hansol can't tell if he's teasing him or not. Maybe both, honestly.
Seungkwan sputters. "Yah! True- true love-"
Hansol laughs. There's a happy bubble inside of him, filling his entire body. Seungkwan's the cutest person in the entire world. "Yeah, Boo. True love."
Seungkwan looks speechless. His eyes flicker between Hansol's. Then he coughs, flustered, face full of color. "I-I was so scared, when you heard my thoughts the other day."
"You didn't have to be," Hansol says. Hansol realizes that he, too, shouldn't have feared Seungkwan's thoughts this entire time. Even before the curse, he shouldn't have feared Seungkwan.
There's never been anything to fear. It's Seungkwan. These are his friends. They want what's best for him. And Hansol wants to do what's best for them, when he can. When he knows he should.
"Now, everyone," Seungcheol says. He's half drunk and has Jeonghan's hand in his hair. His eyes are slightly lidded. "No more weird purchases. Okay?"
Chan stomps his foot. "I didn't mean to."
Seungkwan laughs, finding Hansol's hand and holding it. Hansol just grins. It's a good way to start the new year.