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"Zero!! It's finally happening, the first snowstorm of the year! Come on- I don't wanna miss it!"
Every year, for as long as they could remember, when the first snow fell, X would burst into Zero's dorm and say some variation of that phrase. He'd pull Zero outside excitedly, rambling about winter traditions and holidays and other things Zero now wished he bothered to remember better, and after what usually amounted to multiple hours of snowball fights, snowman making, snow angels, and other winter activities, they'd both head back inside for reploid-safe cocoa and a binge of holiday movies- usually rom-coms about holiday magic or something. Each time, Zero would point out the inefficiency of using so much energy to keep themselves warm while outside, and the time they could be using to tackle reports and training instead, but he would always end up having fun anyway; in recent years, he'd been looking forward to the first snow day almost as much as X always did.
It was finally snowing today, and they both had the week off, but Zero hadn't heard a peep from his best friend, and it was already noon. He did his best to calm his nerves as he walked just a little too quickly (but still too slowly for his liking) down the hall toward the other's dorm- surely X was just busy sneaking in some work, or maybe he hadn't noticed the snow, or maybe he was sleeping in? It hadn't even been that long, X wouldn't have…
As much as he tried to rationalize it, the pit in Zero's stomach wouldn't go away. X had had a serious mental breakdown the day previous, ending in an argument between the two of them, and as he got to X's dorm door and knocked, receiving no response, he mentally screamed at himself for not checking in sooner. The conversation played itself over and over in his head like a broken record, searing itself further into his memory as he knocked again, waiting…
"I don't really know," X was saying. "I just… don't feel excited about anything anymore, you know? This time of year is supposed to be so colorful and magical, and usually, it is- but lately nothing's really…" He trailed off, seemingly unsure of how to finish his sentence.
"You certainly haven't seemed happy recently," Zero agreed. "Maybe it's stress? A lot has happened recently. Or just, in general… a lot has happened in general."
"Yeah, maybe I'm just still recovering…? I… I don't know, I can't shake the feeling that- ah, never mind. You're probably right, Zero." X offered him a strained smile.
"The feeling that what?" That clearly-fake smile was not reassuring. "Don't just start saying something and brush it aside, you know that just makes me more worried." Zero put a hand on X's shoulder. "You can tell me, whatever it is."
After a moment of thought, X spoke up again. "I feel like I'm just never going to be happy… Like the peace I keep wishing for isn't ever going to happen. I keep trying to be hopeful, but I-" His voice was shaking. "Some days I just want it to be over, you know? Doesn't matter how, as long as it ends."
"That's… frankly very concerning." Zero chose his words carefully, keeping his face from showing any of the alarm he was forming. "Maybe you should take a break-?"
"You sound like Alia," X interrupted, scrunching up his nose. "Like I told her, I can't take a break. If I was needed for something and didn't help because I was being selfish and taking a vacation, I'd never be able to live with myself! There are lives to save out there-"
"Look, all I'm saying is that Alia has a point. There's never not something to do, yeah, but you're tearing yourself apart, X! I'm- I'm really worried about you, buddy." Zero couldn't keep his expression neutral anymore. "Your energy hasn't been over half for several months now, you haven't even smiled for five weeks- You're being even more reckless on missions than I am, X!"
"Oh, no, not you too…" X buried his face in his hands. "Stop wasting your time and energy on me like this, it's bad enough that everyone else-"
"Wasting it?" Zero felt nauseous. "This is the furthest thing from wasting it, X- Is this why you've been avoiding everyone? So they wouldn't worry? Why would anything be a waste on you-"
"Because you already have way too much to worry about, and because I can't do anything right." X was biting back tears, Zero could tell. "My one purpose is to protect people, and I'm sure you can see how that's going, huh? The world's savior my ass, everything gets worse no matter what I do- Nothing ever changes, it's the same damn wars and the same damn death and the planet is falling apart! I don't deserve everyone's worry… Some days I'm pretty sure I'm even making it worse, everyone looks to me to fix when things go wrong and I tell them I'll fix it and then I can't do anything to solve it! I can put Sigma down a thousand times and he still comes back, I can try to talk down a thousand mavericks and they all have to be retired anyway, I can save a million lives only for all of them to be extinguished regardless in whatever the next great fucking tragedy is! I can't do this anymore, Zero!" X was hyperventilating now, his hands trembling and his voice wavering as he stared at the other with this look in his eyes that made Zero want to cry himself. "And the worst part is, I catch myself thinking sometimes, asking myself if any of this is even worth protecting anymore! I- I've caught myself wishing the damn world would end just so it would be over! At this point, I'm no better than any of the the mavericks we kill!"
Zero opened his mouth to speak, but anything he could have said dried up in his throat. How had he not seen any of this before? He felt sick, he wanted to kick himself, he'd been so wrapped up in his own issues he couldn't even see his own best friend falling apart in front of him and now X had called himself a-
"That's it," he said out loud, interrupting his own thoughts. "I'm putting in a request to Signas and we're both taking the week off, X. You need to rest."
"Wha- Don't you dare, Zero!" X protested, but Zero was already submitting a form over comms. "I can't believe you- This is why I didn't tell anyone, because then you all go and do stupid shit like that! A whole week, do you have any idea how much could happen- I'm cancelling that!"
Before X could do what he'd threatened, they both recieved a message of approval for the time off, starting immediately- followed by a warning from Alia to actually use the time off to rest, stating that if either of them tried to clock in they'd be banned from headquarters until the week was up.
Furious beyond words, X had shoved Zero out of his dorm and slammed the door. They hadn't spoken for the rest of the day.
Knocking one more time, Zero swallowed when there still wasn't a response. What the hell had he been thinking, not at least checking in between then and now? It had been nearly 24 hours! He should have insisted on being nearby the entire time, X was likely a danger to himself and Zero had just left! His hands shaking, Zero entered the code to X's room and, fearing what he might see, he slowly, gently opened the door. "X?"
X was still laying in his charging pod, facing the window on the far wall. Zero's knees buckled under him as the relief hit him like a brick wall- nothing had happened, X really was just sleeping in. A sigh escaped him as he walked over to the charger, gently tapping the side. "Hey, buddy, you awake? I came to check in on you…"
"Didn't I tell you yesterday to stop worrying so much about me?" X's voice came out flat and bitter, and Zero had to stop himself from flinching at it. "Go hang out with Axl or something."
"I am absolutely not going to leave you alone after yesterday," Zero responded. "Not for any longer, at least."
X groaned and, after a moment, he sat up. "Damn it, Zero, you're so stubborn…"
"Last I heard, you like that about me," Zero replied, before an idea crossed his mind. "…Come on, we're going outside. Grab your scarf."
"What-? Why?" X asked, baffled. "I just told you not to-"
Zero dragged him out of the capsule and onto his feet, earning a yelp from his friend. "Because it's snowing, and you never miss the first snow of the year. C'mon, out we go. Don't even try to pull away, I can and will pick you up and carry you out if I have to."
"Ok, ok, jeez- I didn't even realize, the first snow already…?" X grabbed his scarf from the coat rack by the door as Zero pulled him out. "You don't have to drag me, I'm going!"
"I'm going to drag you whether you're willing or not," Zero replied, "because I care about you more than anything and I am not about to let you waste away in here-" Zero trailed off as X started laughing, staring at him in utter confusion. "…Uh, it's nice to hear you laugh, X, but what's so funny…?"
"Sorry, I just…" X took a moment to calm himself down. "When you say it like that, you sound just like I did… You know, I always dragged you out when it snowed because- because you always tended to feel worse in the wintertime… and now you have to drag me outside… and you'd always get mad if I got worried about you, so I just said it was because I loved the holidays, so you'd think it was just me being my weird, silly self, and-" The near-hysterical giggles wavered into sniffles as he started to cry, but he was still smiling. "I really was worried for no reason, wasn't I…? I didn't want you to be sad caring too much about me, but I always felt better after helping you, and- I was just so caught up in my own feelings that I never even considered you might feel the exact same way- but now that you're doing the exact same thing I was, it's just so obvious…" He wiped his face, trying to stop himself from crying. "I really feel dumb now…"
Softly, tenderly, Zero used his thumb to swipe a tear off X's cheek. "Well, I guess we both have dumb moments sometimes, huh? I, uh… never realized that was why, haha… But hey, you did it for me for so long, so it's only fair if I do the same for a few years, isn't it?" He pulled X's helmet off him and ruffled his hair, making the other laugh and try to swat his hand away. "Ack! Zero, you're messing up my hair- My helmet head is bad enough already, I'm gonna need to brush it for like an hour after this!"
"Should have thought of that before you decided to be so cute, huh?" Zero gave X his helmet back. "Come on then. We wouldn't want to miss the first snow, yeah?"