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They’d never spent a holiday together, not really besides the one year.. Besides letters and the crappy gifts that Reki would send Riddle, they hadn’t ever really spent time together like that.
Not that Riddle’s mother would let him keep most of his gifts anyways, too dirty, or too distracting she’d say.
And Riddle believed her, how could he not? It was all he’d ever known! If she said that the gifts weren’t up to his standard then that was that. Didn’t take away the fact that he still liked them though.
—
The first gift he’d gotten from Reki when they were five, it was a pretty badly drawn picture of him and Reki, both sitting in the gardens.
His father handed it to him when he came by for work.
—
“What’s this?” Riddle asked as his father handed him the piece of paper.
“It’s a gift from your brother, Reki.”
Right, the ‘miscreant’ as his mother called him.
His father left the room and shut the door behind him, leaving Riddle with the piece of paper in hand. He sat on his bed and held it as his eyes drew over it.
There was him, Riddle, and then the garden. Not very well drawn but of course they were only five so that’s to be expected.
Riddle had seen better art in his life, all he had to do was look on the walls of the house's halls. But this gave him a subtle warm feeling in his chest, his hands gently touched the crumpled lines of the paper. Then over the clumsily drawn lines of lead on white.
Over his character, then over his brothers.
He smiled for a little at it, a strained smile, like he didn’t know how to make it brighter, but still one nonetheless.
Honestly it made his cheeks hurt a little from it, how did Reki smile so brightly?
Consciously, he tucked the drawing somewhere safe between one of his books on his bookshelf.
Maybe he was hiding it because he knew that his mother wouldn’t approve of it.
Maybe this was when he started straying from her path, or maybe it was just when it started solidifying her control over him. Taking something that was never hers.
—
The next gift was a card with a picture of Reki and seemingly some other person in it. His father repeated his actions last year, come in, hand Riddle whatever the gift was and then left him alone.
He was six this year, and he held it in hand, missing his brother from their earlier visit in the year. It was awkward, he wasn’t the same at that time, and didn't want to get close again. Not like how he did with Trey and Chenya.
Having something nice only to be taken away didn’t feel nice, in a way he was thankfully to his mother because of that.
Thankfully that she saved him this pain all these years by being so generous and giving him the bare minimum. Never letting him feel the disappointment of having something good being taken away.
So generous.
Riddle, like the previous year, sat on his bed and opened the card which was just two flimsy pieces of paper folded to make a card with two parts.
Page one hand messy hand writing, on the other side was a picture of what Riddle guessed was Reki’s ‘bestest friend’ he once mentioned. The two boys held skateboards, clearly bruised and scratched up from their endeavours.
‘MERRY CHRISTMAS RIDDLE!! This is my super cool friend that I told you about!! I really wish we could spend Christmas together, but dad said you wanna spend time with your mom which is totally fair!! ALSO! TURN THE NEXT PAGE!’
So he did.
And.. It was Reki, holding a little baby.
His eyes looked at the text beside the photo.
‘THIS IS KOYOMI!! She’s our sister now!! Mom- my mom she had her and she’s so cute! She doesn’t really cry a lot, I think she rolled her eyes at me the other day.. but it’s fine!! You have to meet her sometime!! Anyways that’s all! Love you Brother!’
… Sister?
Riddle had a sister.
He and Reki had a little sister, and honestly? Right then and there, Riddle cried.
He sobbed, slapped the card onto an empty spot on his bed and grabbed his pillow to muffle his wailing. He cried, hugging his pillow tightly like a lifeline. Missing the hugs that his brother greeted him with, now his sister would be getting those hugs.
He’s not mad that they’re not here.
He’s mad that he isn’t there.
With them.
His family.
—
Those were the only two gifts he was smart enough to hide immediately, as the next few.. his mother didn’t take so kindly to their existence.
When he was seven, the gift was another card with a small skateboard which he accidentally left on his desk. The card read:
‘MERRY CHRISTMAS AGAIN RIDDLE!!
You’re the best bro ever, don’t forget it! And Koyomi says hi! I mean, she doesn’t know how to because she’s one and the only thing she says is food, but still! I know if she knew you, then she’d say hi too! Anyways, that’s it!
Love Reki!!’
He made the mistake of leaving the card and little skateboard alone for two minutes while he left to get a glass of water. And of course his mother came in around that exact time to check on his studying. When he came in holding a glass in hand, his mother held in one hand, the card— HIS card— crushed in her grip.
And in the other, his skateboard snapped in half between her fingers. Riddle could feel his hold on the glass cup weakening as his grip shook, but he forced it to strengthen to avoid dropping the cup and making a mess.
A mess was not okay.
“Hmph.. Riddle, no distractions, you understand, right hun?” She asked with that same tone.
Mimicking love, not actually present.
He forced himself to nod, “I understand mother.”
She smiled and hummed with a pleasant tone in her throat as she walked past him, when she shut his door behind her. He walked over, grabbed a coaster, and laid the drink on the table.
Forcing himself to stay neutral.
He doesn’t care.
He can’t care.
Not about his brother, his stupid gifts, or his mother. Only about his grades, his future.
—
When he turned eight his gift was a few photos, one of Koyomi walking, one of Reki and his friend skating, and a few odd pieces here and there.
‘MERRY CHRISTMAS BRO!!
Look! It’s Koyomi walking!! It’s actually from earlier this year but I can’t send you stuff earlier for some reason. Hopefully we can see each other soon though! I pray Santa brings you the coolest presents ever!
LOVE REKI!!’
Apart from the usual card, his new gift was another little skateboard, its craft looking better than the previous year. But still a little bit messy.
This time he made a different mistake, the mistake of hiding the gift from his mother, even unintentionally.
He put them in the drawer of his bedside table and then went to the study to— well, study. Obviously.
His mother made it a habit of looking through his stuff, making sure he hadn’t taken anything he shouldn’t have, she wouldn’t make the mistake she did with that damn strawberry tart.
And when she found that skateboard? She was pissed.
She stormed into the study and shouted at him, “RIDDLE ROSEHEARTS.” He flinched, quickly placing his pencil down and turning to her, “Yes mother..?”
“What is this.” She held out the now broke palm sized skateboard. Riddle froze, no. He didn’t mean for it to come off as hiding something.
That’s not what he intended.
“M-mother that’s just-“
“That ruffian gave it to you didn’t he.”
Riddle nodded guiltily as if he’d genuinely done something wrong.
Why? He didn’t do anything..!
His mother crushed the board once more before igniting it and tossing it into a nearby candlelight. “Tell me if you get any more distractions. I’ll take care of it.”
His body felt shaky and unsteady, as his mothers hands cupped his cheeks. “You know I’m doing this for you, right?”
He nodded, leaning into the rare touch his mother had given him. “I’m sorry mother.”
She pulled away and tsk’d, “It’s okay, I know it’s his fault.”
“His fault..?”
“Your idiot father, and those two children..”
No.
No it’s not their fault, not his brother and sister.
It’s not!
But of course his mother didn’t see it that way.
“.. right” he said quietly under his breath.
Eventually she left the room, and while Riddle managed to study again after some time, his eyes would still occasionally drift to the candle.
The remnants of his brother's gift.
—
The gifts went as such until he was nine.
A card with photos, and some object made by his brother. Which was usually a skateboard!
Occasionally his mother would be so mad about the skateboard itself that she wouldn’t even bother to destroy his cards.
That was nice. He’d hidden all of them in various books on his shelf.
But it scared him every time he’d get a new gift from his brother since it’d mean he had to incur her wrath.
She’d scream, maybe destroy a candelabra or something in her tirade while Riddle stood aside and was forced to absorb all that anger.
Then after she’d pat his head or cup his cheeks and say:
“It’s for the best.”
The best?
Right, if she says so then it has to be true.
—
Thankfully the cycle took a pause when the boys turned nine and his father convinced his mom to let him see his brother more often.
They managed to spend time together more and more, and when Reki knew he couldn’t see Riddle during December, he’d give him his gifts in person.
—
On their next visit, as per one of Reki’s promises, he brought Riddle a personalized board.
He ran past their father and tackled Riddle into a bear hug which the other reciprocated awkwardly, not used to physical affection.
“RIDDLE!! HEY!!” He hugged tightly and Riddle sat up, feeling something poking his side confused him, “Hello Reki..”.
“How’ve you been!?” Reki asked as he pulled away and sat at Riddle’s side while waving goodbye to their father.
“I’ve been well.”
“That’s good! Oh- and here’s this..!” Reki pulled out some sort-of bag on his bag, oh so that’s what poked him.
“What’s that?” Riddle questioned as he moved a little closer to his brother.
Reki smiled brightly and took out what was in it.
“IT’S YOUR OWN BOARD..!!” He said gleefully as he handed it over to Riddle.
Riddle felt his stomach churn for a minute, thinking about what his mother might feel until he looked at the design.
“It’s.. strawberries and roses..?”
“YEAH! You said your favourite food was strawberry tarts but I’m not really great at drawing ‘em yet..looked kinda like pancakes but it’s fine! Next time I’ll draw them and it’ll look perfect for you!”
“.. and this is for me?”
“Of course! I said I’d make you your own board and here it is! I’ll make another one when I get the time..!”
“You made this?”
“Aha.. well I bought it, the base and wheels are kinda hard to make.. but I did paint it! And I’m starting to get better at it, so I think I can make your own fully by hand in the next few years..!!”
Riddle nodded quietly as his hands ran over the board, spinning the wheels a little while Reki sat aside with stars in his proud eyes.
“You like it?”
Hesitantly, Riddle nodded and placed the board down on his lap. “Yes, but.. my mother doesn’t like skateboarding.”
“Oh, uh.. so you can’t keep it..?”
Riddle shook his head, “She’d probably destroy it.. she always does.”
“Always-?” And then it hit Reki, “Does she.. destroy the boards I made for you?”
He didn’t want to upset his brother, but he couldn’t lie.
“.. yes” he squeezed his eyes shut awaiting anger.
But after moments of silence, only the sound of sobbing reached him.
He opened his eyes and flipped his head around to look at Reki who was crying, wiping his tears that just kept coming with his hand. Sniffling at the same time.
His arm covered his face as Riddle felt his hands begin to shake unevenly, no, no, he hurt someone like this last time, Trey.
“R-Reki I’m sorry-“
But the other boy's arm fell as the boy stood up, “no..! It’s fine..!” Reki looked down at his brother.
Riddle looked up, seeing his brother's watery smile beaming made his chest swell with relief. “You’re not mad..?”
“At you? NO WAY!” Reki took in a few deep breaths, and shook his head. “I’d never be mad at you! You’re my brother!” He held out his hand to the younger.
Riddle hesitantly held his brother’s hand and stood up. “But I don’t have your gifts anymore..”
“It’s cool! I’ll just make you a new one every year! I don’t care how long it takes!” Riddle frowned.
“You shouldn’t have to.”
“I don’t have to, I WANT to!”
Reki smiled and stretched, wiping away the last remnants of his tears. “Now, what’s there to do around here?”
“We could read..?”
“Read? Don’t you have any trees to climb or places to skate? Come on! I swear I’ll make sure it’s safe!”
Riddle hesitated, “there’s.. a small park nearby..?”
“A PARK?! WOOO!! Those are the perfect places to skate, come on!!” Reki stood up and grabbed another board out of his bag which somehow Riddle missed.
“This is my board! Bought it and painted it myself!” Reki showed off his board proudly as Riddle inspected it with curiosity. The older then tucked it under his arm and smiled, “So where’s this park?”
Riddle led Reki out of the property and through the streets, the messy red head smiled and waved at everyone who smiled back as Riddle kept walking with his head down in hopes no one would recognise him.
When they finally arrived they spent the entire day skating, or rather Reki helped Riddle learn the basics, balance, and moving around. Ready to catch his little brother if he almost fell, never quite letting him hit the ground.
“Reki, I don't want to fall-!” Riddle shouted as he balanced shakily on the board.
“I won’t let you alright?” Reki moved around Riddle carefully, holding out his arms in case he fell.
And even when he did? Reki took the grunt of it, putting himself between his brother and the concrete.
After hours of it, they collapsed onto the grass and watched the yellow light across the sky, “That was.. fun” Riddle said. Reki sat up, his lips quirked up into a smile, “I know right?! Skating is awesome!”
The younger of the two smiled, “It is, I see why you like it so much.”
The messier red head beamed, “Yeah! So so, Riddle, do you think we can spend Christmas together!?”
Oh.
“Uhm.. I don’t think so..”
“Why?”
“Mother has specific ways for Christmas to be. I’m sorry, but I don’t think you’d like our plans..”
“Wh-..” Reki frowned but shrugged it off and flopped back onto the ground. “If it’s out of your control then it’s fine!”
Riddle fidgeted nervously and nodded, “yeah..”
After a little while, their father came to collect Reki, and the day ended, sourly? Unfortunately, it wouldn’t be the last time either.
—
The closest they ever got to spending Christmas together was Christmas Eve when they were twelve. As they’d manage to keep up their schedule of meeting up every couple of months.
—
“Hey Riddle?” Reki was kicking his feet as he held his board on his lap while his brother Riddle sat beside him, his own board sitting beside him.
“What is it?”
“Can we spend Christmas Eve together?”
“.. I don’t think-“
“Oh come on please..!! We can ask our dad, y’know!?”
“Reki I’m not quite sure this is a good idea..”
“PLEASE..!!” Reki flashed his glossy eyes with false tears in them as he pouted dramatically to his brother. No, it was not cute.
But it just made Riddle smile, “I’ll.. talk to mother about it.”
And surprisingly..? She agreed.
She ACTUALLY agreed.
—
“Are you certain mother-?”
“Do I seem uncertain, Riddle?”
“N-no..”
“Mhm. I’ll speak to your father, now go on, study.”
Riddle in a slight fit of disbelief nodded and silently went to the study, closing shut the window as usual and grabbing his pen. The difference this day?
He couldn’t stop a small smile from garnering a place on his face, his feet even kicked back and forth a little whilst he studied.
—
And that’s how they ended up here!
Reki sat awkwardly beside his dad on one couch, Riddle and his mother sat across them on the other.
Their father glanced at Reki as his eyes softened, a much different look than the sharp glare he shot at his technical wife.
Even though he didn’t hate his brother, he did hate how their father treated Reki much differently. His father had never looked at him like that, but Reki’s father did.
“Why don’t you and Riddle go out and enjoy the snow.”
“My son will not be playing out in the snow like a heathen.”
“It’s Christmas Eve, the least they can do is enjoy the snow.”
Reki gave an unwieldy smile to Riddle and shrugged playfully while the recipient of these actions felt a nervousness in his chest melt away.
“Mother, may I show Reki to the library?”
Riddle’s mother looked at Riddle and nodded briefly, “Yes, very well Riddle.”
The younger of the two boys stood and gestured for the older to follow him. Reki smiled and hopped off the couch and off to follow his younger brother.
When they got to the library, Riddle led Reki inside and shut the door behind him, sighing with a faint laugh.
“I apologise, I know Christmas is different from how others spend it.”
“Don’t sweat it..! It’s cool, I mean, I wish we could’ve played in the snow, but just talking is cool too!”
“Are you sure..?”
Reki nodded and plopped himself onto the ground snuggling into a warm corner of the room and patting the spot beside him, “Come!”
And so Riddle did, placing himself beside his brother, Reki twisted and stretched his arm to grab a nearby blanket and tossed it over the two of them.
“I like to do this when it’s cold with my- OUR sister!”
“Our sister.. right, can you tell me about her?”
“Koyomi? YES OF COURSE..! Well she’s walking around and she’s honestly really chill y’know, like she doesn’t cry all that much, apparently when I was a baby I cried like no tomorrow when I didn’t eat immediately! But Koyomi? She just glares at you till you get it for her, she’s one scary three year old I swear..”
Reki rambled on and on about Koyomi, and eventually the conversation drifted off to other things, like school, and skating.
“I mean I know I’m not the best student..! But it’s totally fine right?”
“Mother says an education is the best thing someone can get..”
“I mean yeah now obviously! But when I’m older, I wanna be a skater! If that doesn’t work out then I’ll just make boards for a living?”
“You’d settle for something that isn’t your goal?”
“Well yeah? I mean, maybe in the future something is gonna change but for now I’m just fine!”
Riddle acquiesced silently, his mother would never even let him think like that. He has to become a powerful mage like her, he has to. He needs to be a top student, he needs to. He HAS to.
“Hey? You okay?” Riddle snapped out of his trance from Reki’s hand on his shoulder.
“..pardon?”
“You kinda zonked out there for a bit, I know ‘cause I do it all the time in class.”
“.. I apologise, I didn’t mean to.”
Reki’s brow creased, “hey, you don’t gotta apologise.”
“Reki, might I ask you something?”
“Yeah go for it.”
“.. what’s father like?”
“Dad? He’s cool, I mean you know that don’t you?”
“I don’t.”
“Huh?”
“He’s.. not the same with me as he is with you, he doesn’t love me.”
“What? Yes he does! Otherwise why would he let us see each other?”
“Because he loves you and you want to see me, I don’t understand why.”
“I wanna see you ‘cause you’re my brother!”
“Not that!”
Reki flinched at Riddle’s words, “Oh- what’d you mean..?”
“Why does he love YOU and not ME..!”
“Riddle calm down-“
“I can’t..! You- you’re, a horrible student, a miscreant..! And yet somehow he loves you more..?!”
Riddle felt himself getting all riled up, why? Where did this come from?! He was genuinely happy to spend time with his brother so what happened?
Reki frowned, “Hey, you can be mad but don’t take it out on me.”
“What else am I supposed to do..!?”
‘You’re the only one I can be like this with.’
That’s what he wanted to say, but he didn’t.
He couldn’t, because Reki was frowning at him. It hurt.
‘Don’t look at me like that. Please.’
“Stop it..”
“Stop what??”
“STOP LOOKING AT ME LIKE YOU HATE ME..!” Riddle cried and began wailing into the blanket on his lap.
Riddle didn’t want his brother to hate him.
Thankfully, he didn’t.
Riddle felt as he was suddenly grabbed and hugged tightly, he opened his eyes and looked through an unclear lens to his brother. Wiping away his tears and hugging his brother back. Crying against the older’s hoodie.
“I’m sorry..”
“Don’t be sorry, it’s alright.. I mean it’s not cool you said that, but I get it.” Reki clutched Riddle in his arm, “Don’t worry about it, okay? I’m your brother, and you’re my brother! Even if I get mad at you, I promise I’ll never stay mad.”
“I don’t want you to be mad at me..”
Reki frowned and wiped away Riddle’s tears with the blanket, “Well.. I’ll try okay?”
The younger one nodded and hugged his older brother. It felt weird relying on his brother when he’s only two weeks older. But it felt nice.
It was an unfamiliar feeling.
“You’re my brother, and I hope one day you can meet Koyomi too.”
“Koyomi is a silly name..”
“Hey! Riddle isn’t so normal either!”
“Yes it is! It’s normal here!”
“Well Koyomi is normal where we’re from!”
“Where are you from?”
“Uhhh.. dad said I’m not supposed to say, but you’re my brother so it’s fine! I’m from Japan!”
“You’re from.. Ja-pan..? I’ve never heard of it.”
“Yeah well up until a few years ago, I never heard of twisted wonderland, so.”
The two stared at each other for a little before laughing. Earnestly, and truly laughing together.
They spent the next few hours just talking. Reki spoke about his friend, Riddle told him about the tart, and Trey and Chenya. Reki talked about his skating endeavours. Riddle shared his routine.
—
Reki eyed the window for a solid few minutes, the sun was setting. And he wanted nothing more than to just enjoy the snow with his brother.
“.. wanna get into some trouble?”
“Not really..”
The older looked at his younger brother who had an uncertain expression on his face and sighed.
“Alright! Then.. show me your favourite book!”
“My favourite book..?”
Reki smiled, “Yup!”
Riddle stood up, letting the blanket fall down to the floor and looked around the library for a little while before landing his eye on one of the books he’d often find himself re-reading whenever he was allowed to.
He walked back over and handed the book over to Reki who opened it and smiled, “Where’s your room?”
“Why?”
“Just wanna see it!”
Reki stood up and Riddle led him to his room, he took a seat on his bed and his brother grabbed a nearby chair and took a seat beside it.
“Lay down! I wanna read you the book!”
“It’s not a story Reki..”
“So? I can still read it can’t I?”
Riddle hesitated before laying down in his bed and pulling over his blanket to his shoulder as Reki cleared his throat dramatically, making the younger chuckle.
Reki read the book, tripping over a couple of words he wasn’t able to recognise, but continued. And overtime, Riddle found himself drifting off to sleep. He’d never been read a bedtime story.
“And that’s how mages manage to harness their magic in the first place.” Reki glanced up from the pages and looked at his brother with a gentle smile, "Goodnight brother. Merry Christmas.”
He gently placed down the book on his desk and grabbed a spare sheet of paper and some ink. He wrote down:
‘I’m probably gone by the time you wake up, but I just wanna wish you a Merry Christmas! And just know, me AND Koyomi hope to spend more time together! Love you bro!’
He placed the paper on Riddle’s bedside table and smiled, he had one final little thing to give his brother. He snuck around the house but couldn’t find any kind of Christmas tree.
‘Who doesn’t have a tree..’ Reki thought, so he slipped back to Riddle’s room, and left a little wrapped gift beside the piece of paper.
“Merry Christmas..” he patted Riddle’s hair before quietly leaving and going to his dad.
The two left after a few minutes.
“Did you have a good time Reki? I’m sorry you two couldn’t enjoy the snow, it’s.. she’s a difficult woman.”
“She doesn’t seem really nice.”
“Hah.. she isn’t.”
“Then why is he staying here..?”
“Where else would he stay?”
“With us!”
He was serious.
His dad laughed.
“Oh, that’s wishful thinking, don’t worry Reki, it’s fine.”
But it’s not, his brother cried. He yelled at him.
It’s not okay.
—
THE NEXT DAY
—
“Mm..” Riddle stirred awake and smiled, ‘a good night's rest’ he thought as he sat up.
Then his eyes landed on his bedside table. He firstly grabbed the piece of paper and read it. He felt sad, but glad that his brother didn’t leave without a word. Not technically at least.
And then he looked at the gift.
“.. hm?”
Did his mother get it for him?
He grabbed it and unwrapped it, a small gasp left his mouth as he held it.
The gift was three small plushies, clearly handsewn and stitched together holding hands. Riddle on one side, Reki on the other. And their sister Koyomi in the middle.
A little card hung on plush Reki’s arm.
‘HEY! I wish I had made0 this, but I didn’t! I’m not great at sewing as I am at painting, BUT MY MOM DID! She’s cool and made it when I asked, or maybe she got someone else to I’m not sure! But it’s alright! Merry Christmas Riddle!!”
He held the plushies close to his chest and felt a little tear roll down his cheek. He hid it under his pillow, wiped his tears and smiled.
Whether today was good or not didn’t matter.
He’s got his brother, and sister.
—
The two never spent Christmas (or rather, Christmas Eve) together after that. Reki would send him gifts whenever, not just for his birthday, or Christmas.
Whenever, it didn't matter, and when he asked Reki why. He just said “You're my brother, I don't need a schedule to give you something!”
Their relationship was.. good.
Until they turned thirteen of course, but it's not important.
Not anymore.
–
“Reki? What're you doing?” Koyomi asked as she peeked into his room, Reki was hunched over his desk and working on something. “None of your business!”
“Fine! Be that way!!” She frowned and walked away.
Reki, fourteen years old, and officially having not seen his brother for a year. Decided to resort to the one person who could do- anything really.
‘Dear Santa. My name is Reki Kyan, I have a brother called Riddle, but we don't see each other often. Kinda feels like you'll see him more than me. So, please give him the best gifts and wish him well!’
He felt his face somewhat hot, he was fourteen and writing to Santa of all people. But what else could he do? He wasn't allowed to see Riddle again, he was busy working at Dope Sketch and.. his friend wasn't doing too well. Also Riddle's mom clearly didn't like him!
So he– with a little shame– sealed his letter and sighed. “Please Santa. God I sound like a damn idiot..” he shook his head and put his letter in his hand.
“MOM, I'M GOING OUT SKATING!!”
“BE BACK BEFORE DINNER!”
“I WILL!!”
He clutched the letter in his pocket and grabbed his board, taking it outside and skating to where it was windy and the breeze was strong. It was across a bridge over water, he skated over and took the letter out of his hoodie.
Then he held it out over the railing, and let go.
Letting it fly wherever.
‘Please reach someone who isn't as useless as me..’ he thought, as he then skated home.
Maybe another time, he would be able to see Riddle again, and spend Christmas together.