Chapter Text
It was like any other day in the city of Roblox City! Birds flying over buildings, people getting run over by cars, and a lollipop being stolen from a baby.
You know, the usual stuff that happens. When things go downhill and a city needs help, Super Noob is off to the rescue! Super Noob stood on the rooftop corner of the building, looking around for any suspicious things going on…until they did! It was some..dude staring at nothing, in a weird way. Super Noob then jumped off of the rooftop and literally fell onto the ground, with a splat.
…
Are they even breathing?
…
Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you your supposed superhero of this city, Super Noob.
Without totally no injuries, Super Noob got up, not caring about the bruises they suffered from falling straight on the ground, and walked over to the standing ROBLOXian. “hey hey hey! something bothering you?” No response. “hellooo.” The person looked up at Super Noob. “They need to feel my wrath. Everyone has to.” The person spoke out, their voice being cut through. Super Noob just looked at the crazed out man. “you know what, i’m gonna get straight to the point here.” Super Noob started. “just because your cousin got shot 17 times and DIED, doesn’t mean that you come to the conclusion that EVERYONE ON THIS PLANET deserves the pain of what you think is best for them even though it’s not their fault.” The dude was about to say something else, but was immediately interrupted by Super Noob. “not to mention, i JUST started doing this superhero shift or whatever not even 10 minutes ago. look, i know that nobody is forcing me to do this and all, but i’m doing this for the sake of being the good samaritan that i am! now tell me, is what you think really a good idea in your own mind? this won’t help the ones that you lost and ‘avenging’ for them won’t do anything. i’m sorry— but that really is the truth. actually, i’ll leave right now and if you are off doing some evil crap or whatever, i will make SURE you won’t sleep tonight.” The ROBLOXian just stared at Super Noob blankly. Super Noob stared back, letting the guy know that they don’t want to deal with their bs. After staring for enough time, Super Noob then walked away.
20 minutes later..
Super Noob was in the clothing store and had just pepper sprayed and knocked one of a robber’s teeth out. The cashier thanked the hero for what they had done, and as Super Noob thought it was over..
“BREAKING NEWS! A ROBLOXian is putting a random citizen’s life at risk, holding him at gunpoint !”
The radio on the counter announced.
With a sigh, Super Noob walked out of the shop and went to the park. Just as they went to the park, the same guy that he talked to 20 minutes ago was literally the same guy that was holding another ROBLOXian at gunpoint. “god damn it..” Noob whispered to themselves before talking to the crazed dude that was about to murder someone. “what the #### did i just say?!” Instead of talking it out, Noob yelled in outrage and had the urge to just strangle the man. The man looked at the raiging Super Noob and simply spoke. “You won’t get it! If I even talk about what happened, nobody will believe me! Especially you—..you cheap costume wearin’ noob!” At a moment of silence, Noob just stared at him. Meanwhile, the guy that was being held at gunpoint was just sweating and tried his hardest not to cry. The ROBLOXian that held the guy at gunpoint stared back into Noob’s eyes. Nothing was happening.
Noob then pulled out a Glock-17 from their pocket and shot the man straight into the arm and neck. Immediately, the shot man let out an oof before falling to the ground, the gun loosening from his hand. There was a dead body now. The man who was previously at gunpoint was shaken. He looked baffled but at the same time relieved since there was no longer a gun pointed at his head. “..Uh, thank you so much.” The man spoke up, trying to find his words. “it’s no problem, my good sir! now, you have a good day.” Super Noob proudly said before walking away and playing with the gun, ignoring how the body was literally bleeding on the ground. After Super Noob left, conveniently, a van pulled up directly next to the body as a group of hazmat wearing ROBLOXians came out and dragged the body into the van. Not long after that, the van then drove off. The man didn’t even dare question what just happened and did the things he usually did.
10:24 PM.
It was dark out. Because of how Roblox City is a bit crowded, people hang out together, go to special events and whatever..but one man stood out and didn’t do any of those things.
As he got onto the roof of the building he lives in, he brought out a type of minigun that was entirely made from scratch. Built with scraps and bolts, it looked like it could explode at any moment from one shot.
This man..was Bloxy-Chuck. He jumped from the building and thank 2x2 it was a short building, because he almost broke his arms off while holding the handmade minigun. Bloxy-Chuck looked around for targets, until he came to a realization. He can make absolute chaos in this city by causing car accidents with this thing! Not even a minute later, he heard a car coming and shot at the windshield as it came closer. Instead of bullets though, it was Bloxy Cola. The Bloxy Cola got onto the windshield, and the car drove into a building and caused an explosion. After a brief moment, fire started to form. Seeing the sight, this made the man feel like a REAL supervillain. His thoughts were then quickly swept away as he heard a voice nearby. Curious, he turned to it and saw..
The One.
The Only.
Super Noob.
“hey! what’s with you—…” Super Noob’s confident tone quickly washed away as they then saw the handmade minigun and the fire. Super Noob was hesitant to say something, but they did it. “..can we like.. talk about this?? surely you can’t possibly have a justifiable reason to cause this..” Bloxy-Chuck let out a chuckle. “HEHEH, THE FUNNY THING IS..I DON’T HAVE A REASON THAT’S JUSTIFIED AT ALL! IT DOESN’T HURT TO CAUSE A LITTLE BIT OF MISCHIEF.” The soda crazed man chimed, slowly aiming the minigun at the noob. Super Noob’s confidence slowly rose back up. They can do this! It’s just a simple minigun. “well, guess what? i’m gonna STOP YA! and if you don’t stop what you’re doing right now..” Super Noob then epikly pulled out a linked sword. “you are gonna get pwned by me.” Bloxy-Chuck tried to not laugh. As much as he tried to, he ended up cackling like a maniac. “BAHAHAHA! WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE! I HAVE A MUCH MORE POWERFUL WEAPON THAN YOUR DINKY LITTLE SWORD! AND TO THINK THAT YOU ARE TRYING TO BE THE HERO HERE MAKES IT SOOO MUCH BETTER!” Super Noob was completely embarrassed at this, and Bloxy-Chuck wasn’t even wrong. “oh yeah? well, uh, i’m not afraid to do this!” Five seconds of silence after Super Noob said that, Bloxy-Chuck immediately started shooting. Super Noob dodged and jumped around the liquid bullets with surprising success, as they got closer to the minigun— they suddenly jumped on it and slashed Bloxy-Chuck straight in the torso, making him release the minigun from his hands and stumble backwards. “YEOWCHIEZ! GRRR! WHY YOU..” Bloxy-Chuck then lunged at Super Noob, but they easily dodged it, leading to him falling on the ground. “…i thought this was gonna be harder. this is lame. anyways, got anything to say since i absolutely pwned you?” Super Noob asked in boredom. “OH I GOT SOMETHING FOR YOU..EAT THIS!” Bloxy-Chuck pulled out a paintball gun and shot right in Super Noob’s eyes. Super Noob then let out a gut-wrenching scream of pain and agony as soda was in their EYES. They dropped the sword and desperately tried to get it out but it was really useless. “OHH… WHY I OUGHTA BEAT YOUR ####ING ASS!” Super Noob said with absolute raig, as they ran to Bloxy-Chuck and started throwing punches relentlessly, making him do the same as he tried to defend himself. After a bit of fighting, Super Noob unexpectedly slugged Bloxy-Chuck’s jaw and threw another punch at his cranium, causing him to get knocked out. “oh. oh shoot!” Super Noob then looked around, and saw a dumpster in an alleyway. They didn’t care if he was still alive, they just wanted to get over with this already and stop the fire. Super Noob got over to it and threw the knocked out man in the dumpster and closed it. Now, there was the fire problem they had to deal with. They looked at the building in flames.
As they then called 911.
“yeah, uh..there’s a building on fire. also a minigun is here so like..”
“…uh huh.”
“yeah. thank you so much.”
Super Noob then hung up the phone.
Just like that, Super Noob saved the day once again! I mean, come on. It’s literally a powerless ROBLOXian who has a cape and a mask on. They don’t have anything to kill off the fire.