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There’s a flicker of a streetlight as Oscar drove down the street to Max’s house. He was late to the Christmas party. Caught up in his feelings he almost forgot about the it. And everyone attending.
Because when he’d took off his coat and sipped on his champagne he met Lando’s eyes and his world shattered once again. It looked like the Brit wanted to come over and talk to him but then Oscar was dragged away by Max and they lost sight of each other. Only later that night when Lando tried talking to him again, George walked over and said something that seemed to upset Lando.
He could feel Lando’s heavy gaze on him during the party. He hoped Lando couldn’t find sleep on nights like this, haunted by the look in Oscar’s eyes. They would’ve loved him for a lifetime.
His thoughts raced with words he would say to Lando. “You know this moment, don’t you?” He could tell how Lando was feeling, his face was an open book and Oscar was able to read it every time. Lando looked unhappy and disappointed with the situation. But Oscar couldn’t let it get into his head, although his heart ached every time someone held Lando back. They didn’t let him talk to him. It was like they knew.
Oscar didn’t stay for long, he thanked Max for the invitation and walked out of the door, but not without looking back one last time. It was freezing outside, and while Oscar was looking forward to spending time in warm Australia with his family, he stared up at the sky, admiring the snow falling quietly.
Time was strangely calm now, because everybody’s gone. No party full of people, no reporters asking him hundreds of questions, no title to win. No rush, no clock ticking. Time passed and for once he didn’t want to stop it or turn it back. He’d been trying to, ever since the championship started to slip through his fingers. But the season was over now, Lando had won.
It was just him and his anger. To the media it looked like he was pissed because he lost but they were so wrong. Losing wasn’t the worst part, because in his mind third place wasn’t too bad. At least better than finishing second. He told himself that he mainly lost to Max. But he wasn’t angry at Max.
Because Max hadn’t kissed him. But Lando had. He’d treated him like his boyfriend for longer than he hadn’t. And when Oscar couldn’t handle the confusion anymore and broke up with his girlfriend, Lando distanced himself. So yeah, the reason for his anger isn’t known to the media.
Lando was the champion, McLaren’s golden boy, but he hadn’t been kind. He was Oscar’s, but he was awful all the time. They were so much, that in the end they were nothing at all. It was beautiful when they enjoyed it without talking about it, but when Oscar was ready to say all or nothing, Lando chose nothing.
If anyone was ever to find out about them, he couldn’t tell them what he’d told Oscar. All those words sounding a little too close to ‘I love you’. But never had he actually said those three words. Eight letters and Oscar would’ve given up everything for him. How stupid of him to give it up anyway without ever actually hearing the confession from Lando’s mouth. He waited and waited but nothing ever came.
It wasn’t just about what he said, or hadn’t said. But the way he held Oscar, like he knew him. Truly knew him. And he did, but he threw it all away. The anger and distance was a shield to protect himself. Oscar would rather burn forever than let Lando know him like that ever again.
But Lando should know that he died slow. Running through the halls of Lando’s home, it almost seemed that it had turned haunted over time. Haunted with memories of their shared laughter and cooking sessions, haunted with the feelings they couldn’t talk about.
And the toughest part was that they both knew what happened to Lando, why he’s out on his own. Why they didn’t speak anymore and why everyone sensed that something was going on. It was all on Lando. His fear had ruined everything. Or maybe Oscar interpreted too much into their interactions. Maybe it hadn’t meant as much to Lando as it meant to him.
Days ago Oscar had started writing his Christmas cards. He came across the one he’d bought for Lando. There was a reindeer on it, the nose could blink. When he’d bought the card, it’d reminded Oscar of the Christmas lights Lando had bought a few years back because Oscar liked them so much.
Oscar was debating on throwing it in the trash but instead he opened the card and started writing.
Merry Christmas, please don’t call - Oscar
He didn’t want to hear from him. He’d have to face Lando at the start of next season anyway. But he couldn’t hear his voice during Christmas. Not when he left him on the line, never saying what Oscar wanted to hear.
One day Oscar had come from the supermarket expecting Lando to start cooking the noodles but instead he stood in the hallway, holding all his baggage. All the things he’d left at Oscar place over time. Clothes, toothbrushes, his charging cable. He’d looked at Oscar apologetically before storming out of his apartment and never coming back. That was the end of them. Long before they had a beginning.
Almost like he was drawn to it, Oscar’s feet had taken him to Lando’s apartment. Oscar noticed the flickering street light again while he’d flickered through Lando’s damage. Now standing in front of his home he realised the light Lando had shined on it. Inviting and domestic, somewhat romantic. At the best it was magic, they were stuck in their own little bubble.
But then the bubble bursted and the media caught attention to the tension between them. Lando mentioned his name in all of the interviews he’d given after he’d won the championship. It made Oscar’s stomach turn. Oscar didn’t even want Lando telling them that he knew him.
Standing outside Lando’s apartment again, the carousel of feelings started spinning like crazy. Oscar wanted one ticket off of it. He was sure that if he couldn’t get away soon, he’d be stuck forever.
He needed to get away. The only way out was to fly home over the holidays. Back to where he started, back to his roots. On the flight to Australia he kept wondering when Lando’s winning smile had began to look like a smirk. A mean smirk, one that was meant to hurt. Maybe not directed towards him, but to the people that underestimated him. It had a worse effect on Oscar than on the haters.
After the plane had touched down and he’d picked up his suitcases, his loving family awaited him in the airport halls, holding a sign that made Oscar’s heart sting. 'Champion of our hearts' it was meant as a sweet gesture but the word champion reminded him of the one person he desperately tried to get away from.
He couldn’t really get away from Lando, not even when he was far away and his throat closed up, tears threatening to escape. Oscar told himself that it’s because Christmas is so different in Australia than in the UK. He missed the typical Christmas vibe, that had to be it.
When you're still waiting for the snow to fall it doesn't really feel like Christmas at all. Deep inside Oscar knew that it wasn’t about the snow. It would never feel right without the person he loved the most.
He spent the following days avoiding social media. For his own mental health he stopped himself from reading articles about his loss. Oscar concentrated on things that had nothing to do with racing, focusing on his family. He helped his mother with baking cookies in the kitchen, went to the beach with his sisters and played chess with his dad.
On Christmas Day Oscar was busy reading a book when he had an incoming call. He didn’t look at the caller ID and picked up. “Merry Christmas, I miss you.” Shock pulsated through his veins at Lando’s voice.
I miss you.
I miss you.
I.
miss.
you.
He struggled with his own words. His brain was filled with mean and angry sentences, the words he finally chose pressed out between tight lips sounding strangled. “Please don’t call me.” Lando hadn’t respected his wish. Was he purposely trying to make this difficult for him?
The words he’d actually meant to say were stuck in his throat long after the call had ended. Why’d you have to make me want you? Why’d you say nothing back? In his delusional mind the three words Lando had said on the phone translated to the words he never said.
So later that day, when he chose pictures to post for Christmas, he couldn’t stop thinking about the call. Oscar picked a photo of him holding a Christmas ornament with his racing number, the second picture was him looking at the ornament when it was already placed on the tree. Oscar wished everyone a merry Christmas in the caption. Against his better judgment he skipped a few lines and quoted something personal, just for Lando to recognise.
You know it’s true that I miss you.
Hours later when his family was playing monopoly his heart rate picked up when his phone screen lit up, announcing that Lando had liked his post. He ended up third place in monopoly. Well, nothing that he wasn’t used to. Oscar excused himself and went to bed early. But he couldn’t find rest, no matter how hard he tried, Lando wouldn’t leave his head.
The following day was filled with family traditions. They cooked together, ate so many cookies that Oscar could barely get any words out and invited friends over for game night. When everyone left they watched their favourite Christmas movies and for once Oscar was able to forget about a certain someone.
On the 27th woke up earlier than normally, his mother hadn’t even started preparing breakfast. The house was silent, everyone was still asleep, tired from the day before. Oscar put on his running clothes and when he finished tying his shoes lace someone knocked on the door. He had no idea who would be at their door so early.
Oscar didn’t expect anyone specific. The neighbours, his friends, even Lily seemed more plausible but in front of him stood his teammate. The world champion. Lando Norris. The person he’d been in love with for so long.
His first thought was to slam the door into Lando’s face but he forced himself to start a friendly conversation although his voice sounded so wrong. Lando seemed nervous, saying things that didn’t add up and when he looked away embarrassed, Oscar invited him in.
What was he doing? Pushing away the thoughts that screamed at him to send Lando away he led Lando in he kitchen instead and offered him pineapple juice. The Brit accepted it with a sly smirk.
“I guess I was harder to forget than to leave.”
The smirk was wiped off Lando’s face, Oscar stared back at him with cold eyes. A part of him still wished for Lando to realise he feels the same. So when they sat down on the couch Oscar waited for Lando to start talking.
After all he showed up at Oscar’s doorstep, that alone deserves an explanation. But when Lando couldn’t get out the right words, stumbled over his own sentences and confused Oscar endlessly, he had enough.
Enough of the pining, enough of Lando playing with him for years, enough of him being oh so oblivious. Oscar had the right to say what he felt. For years he’s been holding back. Although no, he thought he’d been obvious but when Lando looked at him, with eyes wide open, Oscar wasn’t sure if he really had no clue or if he hadn’t expected him to spill everything.
For a moment Oscar regretted saying anything. He was in his own living room on the couch his family had since forever, telling his teammate about his feelings for him. He almost interrupted himself but when Lando wanted to say something, fear of rejection filled Oscar.
Call it pathetic but he wanted Lando to acknowledge that what they’ve done was more than friendly or casual. And if he stopped talking it meant that he gave up. Oscar really tried to find more words but the whole situation left him speechless.
His ramble ended in frustration and he was about to walk out of the room when Lando grabbed his face and smashed their lips together.
That was unexpected.
He thought of an entire different reaction. No words, Lando walking out, or even a slap. But a kiss? That was even more confusing. He let Lando. He’d always let Lando do whatever he wanted.
So when they ended up making out on the same old couch he used to play with his mini cars on, it was no surprise that Lando took the upper hand and straddled him.
Oscar felt the blood rush south and let out a groan. He gripped Lando’s waist when someone cleared their throat and Oscar pushed Lando away quickly.
He made eye contact with his sister. Hattie was sipping on a straw, a smirk playing on her lips. Oscar watched in a trance as Lando held an awkward conversation with his sister. There was only one way out of it. He grabbed Lando’s hand and dragged him towards his room.
Behind the closed door he could finally breathe again. It wasn’t like Hattie didn’t know about his crush on Lando, his whole family probably knew, but getting caught like that- „So that happened.“ Lando said bluntly and Oscar couldn’t help the giggle that escaped him.
But actually nothing was funny. At all. „This isn’t helping me get over you.”
“What if I don’t want you to get over me?” Lando said and Oscar inhaled sharply. That hurt, like a stab to the heart. How could Lando be so selfish and cruel? “Lando…” But he couldn’t finish his sentence. “I can’t get over you either, you’re on my mind every second. Please say that you haven’t moved on.”
Oscar felt the world stop for a moment. Everything he’s been waiting for was served to him on a silver plate. He took Lando’s hands. “I’m still very much in love with you.” Lando smiled at him nervously. “Do you- do you wanna be my boyfriend?”
Finally, after all this time they’ve unofficially acted like boyfriends Oscar got to hear that question. “Yes, more than anything.” They continued kissing until they were out of breath. “Best Christmas gift ever.” Lando said as he kissed Oscar’s jaw which was tingling from the sensation.
In his aroused and worked up state he still found it in himself to be sassy. „Want to know how to make it even better?” Lando nodded with glassed over eyes and Oscar pressed his thigh between Lando’s legs. Lando gripped Oscar’s biceps as he grinded against him. “Fuck Osc, want you.”
That’s how Oscar showed him the actual best Christmas gift ever. Afterwards they were exhausted but somehow managed to hop into the shower.
And then it finally happened. In between shampooing his hair and washing the soap from his body he heard Lando mumble the words he’s been waiting for.
„I love you.”
Oscar didn’t get the chance to answer because Lando pressed his lips against Oscar’s and kissed him with an intensity that showed how much he meant those words. When they parted Oscar thought his lips felt almost painful from kissing and smiling so much. „And I love you.” Lando blushed at his response.
This really was the best Christmas ever.
It got only better the next day when they decided to go out for the night. New years was near and they wanted to get in the partying mood. Oscar showed Lando his favourite club, apparently the best in all of Australia.
The Brit believed him because really, it was great. The DJ played amazing music, the drinks were delicious and the lights were the right amount of making one dizzy and still staying sane.
After his fourth drink Lando felt the alcohol kick in. His brain felt squishy and almost as soft as the hips he held onto. He leaned his head against Oscar’s chest and closed his eyes at the feeling of the taller one’s hands combing through his curls. Suddenly he felt the arousal in every part of his body, taking over his whole system.
He looked up and met Oscar’s eyes, his pupils already dilated so much Lando could barely make out the colour of his eyes. He grabbed Oscar’s hand and dragged him out of the club. It wasn’t too cold which still took Lando by surprise, the streets were decorated with Christmas lights but they both wore shirts and Oscar even wore the shorts that showed off his thighs.
“Let’s go back inside, I don’t want to get robbed right after Christmas. Actually I don’t ever want to get robbed…” Oscar was drifting off in his own thoughts but Lando squeezed his hand. “Nah, let’s go back to your house.”
Oscar tilted his head. The party reached its peak and Lando wanted to leave? That was so unlike him. “It’s not even that late.” The curlyhead placed his hands around Oscar’s neck. “We can continue the party in your bed.”
The Australian gasped at Lando’s words who only smirked at him and then waved to the next taxi. Inside the car Lando squished against his side and massaged Oscar’s bare thigh as his shorts had ridden up.
Oscar felt the heat creep up his neck while he looked at the driver who luckily didn’t seem to notice what’s going on. Although he was embarrassed about the situation it also didn’t leave him cold. He felt his dick twitch as Lando’s hand traveled higher up and palmed him through the layers of his clothes.
Lando pushed his hand inside the shorts and Oscar stopped him right before he was about to get into his boxers. He was sober enough to know that he couldn’t keep quiet with a warm hand around his cock and that the driver would kick them out if he saw what they were doing.
The expression on Lando’s face turned into a sulking one and Oscar kissed him, carefully eyeing the driver, to show that he did want him, he just had to wait. “Not the time or place to do this, babe.” His words were directed to Lando for two reasons. One, because doing something like that in a taxi - just no. And two, because nobody could find out about them, not yet.
The drive felt like it took forever and Lando got more unruly with every second, Oscar had trouble keeping his hands off him. When they finally stood in front of his house, Oscar picked Lando up and threw him over his shoulder. Lando let out a yelp. “Hey, put me down! I can walk!”
Oscar laughed but didn’t listen. He concentrated on walking up the stairs as quietly as possible. Inside his bedroom he put Lando down on his bed and mustered the older man. “You little troublemaker.”
Lando bit his lip as he saw Oscar’s bulge. “Think I need to be punished, mhm?” He scooted closer to Oscar and rubbed his hand over his shorts once again, this time he wasn’t stopped. Encouraged, he let Oscar’s shorts drop onto the floor and took out his cock. He’d seen it yesterday, when Oscar was on top of him. But now he had the chance to take it in his mouth.
So he did. He leaned forward and licked at the tip until he heard Oscar hiss and then he swallowed down a bit more. He felt a vein with his tongue and looked up at Oscar when the younger one let out a groan. His eyes were closed and his lip was caught between his teeth. Lando held onto his hips as he took in even more.
His throat closed around the head and Oscar gripped his hair tightly. “Oh shit, I’m gonna come if you don’t pull off!” Lando pushed Oscar away quickly. “No way, you still have to fuck me.”
Oscar looked down at him and suddenly his expression changed. Gone was the determined, horny look, replaced by soft eyes and a smile playing on his lips. “Lay down on the bed.”
Lando listened as Oscar pulled out the lube from the day before and pushed a pillow under his hips. “Gonna prep you, don’t want you to get hurt.” The Brit almost rolled his eyes at the genuine voice, instead they rolled back because Oscar pushed two fingers in.
“Oh my- That’s your idea of not making it hurt?” He shuddered as the fingers grazed against his prostata. Oscar shrugged. “Before I make love to you the pre game can be a little mean. You deserve that for all the time you’ve kept me waiting.” Lando fisted the sheets. Oscar’s voice really did it for him.
His mind replayed those soft words while the pleasure made him curl his toes.
Make love to you.
Lando bit back a moan.
“Keep talking.” He demanded but Oscar kept his lips sealed shut and even stopped moving his fingers. He smirked as caught Lando’s pouty expression and he lined up with Lando’s entrance. Lando’s expression changed quickly as Oscar slowly pushed in. Oscar watched as Lando threw his head back against the pillow. That was his chance, he leaned down and attacked his throat with his teeth.
Lando grabbed at the long front strands of Oscar’s hair and adjusted to the feeling of the Australian moving slowly inside of him. It was like torture, too slow, too much and not enough at the same time. “Osc.” It came out like a moan.
Oscar nodded into his shoulder, his voice muffled by Lando’s skin. “You feel so good, so perfect for me baby.” Lando let out a string of moans. There it was again, that bedroom voice Oscar had unconsciously used on him many times before. “I’m not gonna last long.”
At that, the younger man thrusted deeper and intertwined their fingers. He aimed at the spot inside of Lando and hit it every time. Lando felt himself being pushed closer to his orgasm. “Fuck, I can’t-“
“So good, mine mine mine…” Oscar said into his ear and that was it. Oscar claiming him not only with his actions but also words pushed him over the edge. He scratched his nails over Oscar’s back as he came with the Australian’s name on his tongue.
It didn’t take long for the other man to finish. Three more thrust and Lando clenching around him and he filled the Brit with his cum. Oscar collapsed on top of him and nibbled on his ear afterwards. “Sorry, should’ve asked. Let’s wash it off.”
He helped Lando stand up and turned on the water. “I don’t mind. It’s hot how you said I’m yours and having you fill me up only shows that you mean it.” Oscar blushed and Lando winked at him as he hopped under the warm spray of water.
It took them 15 minutes to get ready for bed. Freshly showered, teeth brushed and cuddled up under the blanket, Lando leaned against Oscar’s chest. The Australian pressed his face against Lando’s nape. “Good night, Lando. I love you.” His voice was quiet, laced with tiredness and Lando was sure that Oscar didn’t hear his response. “I love you too, Oscar. Forever.”
“Promise?”
Lando’s breath hitched, Oscar hadn’t fallen asleep yet. He smiled softly, feeling kisses against his neck.
“Promise.”
With that, Oscar drifted off to sleep, holding the trophy he’d always wanted.