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Shaking. Heavy breaths. Regret.
The worst mistake she would ever make.
Pencil’s eyes took a second to fully open, slowly adjusting to the light shining from her window. It was as bright a day as ever with not a cloud in sight, and the room was silent.
And that’s when she noticed she was alone. Golf Ball, who had been nuzzling her face into her grey shirt just last night, was no longer there. There was no sign that she was ever there, except for the imprint her body left on the bed and the fact that her shirt still faintly smelled like her, bringing Pencil a feeling of comfort. She took a moment to take that feeling in.
It would be the last time she would experience it, after all.
She had plans.
She took a deep breath as she stood up, walked to the dresser, opened a drawer from her makeup stand, and took a small, folded up piece of paper she had written a couple days prior, then placed it on the bed behind her.
Then, she left the bedroom and swiftly walked to the kitchen, pouring herself a glass of water before leaving as fast as she had came.
There was just one last step.
Immediately after she reentered her room, she approached her pillow on the bed. Reaching underneath it, she slowly pulled out a mostly empty bottle of extra-strength Tylenol, gripping it tightly in her hand.
As she looked at it, she began to think.
She thought about all the times she and Match skipped class in high school to gossip and take selfies. They’ve been friends since the very beginning of elementary school, and that friendship managed to survive all the way into adulthood.
About the silly play fights she and her brothers would get into all the time for the most insignificant reasons. She loved them both dearly, but she couldn’t deny, they were quite the pain to deal with at times.
About the way Golf Ball’s eyes sparkled in such an extravagant way as she gazed at her after their first kiss. Golf Ball was her rock, the one beautiful thing Pencil had found in the hideous world that looked at her with the same disgust she felt for it.
All these memories, big or small, meant everything to her.
…
She stared at it for a second, thinking about what she was about to do.
But there was no more time to contemplate. She needed to hurry.
Everything was prepared exactly how it was supposed to be. There was no turning back.
With a heavy breath, she popped the lid off of the bottle.
She poured every single pill inside into her mouth.
She downed them all with the water.
…
Shit.
Shit, shit, shit.
It didn’t take long for the realization of what she had just done to dawn on her.
She had been planning this for a long time. Why was she only now understanding the depth of her actions?
She could feel her heart rate accelerating.
Call the cops, her mind screamed. Make yourself vomit. Do something. Save yourself.
But she was frozen in fear.
All she could do was hyperventilate, panic, back herself up against the wall.
She had doomed herself.
This was it.
This was the end—
Creak.
She heard a sound.
The front door opening.
A familiar muffled voice then called out.
“Pencil, are you awake? I got you something.”
Golf Ball.
She’s back.
She’s gonna see me like this.
She’s gonna watch me die.
Her entire body trembled.
“No… God no…”
“This… can’t be happening…”
“I didn’t…”
“It shouldn’t have…”
All of a sudden, she felt hot.
Too hot.
Dizzy, even.
Her vision grew dimmer.
Was this it? Was she dying?
She couldn’t tell.
But eventually, she gave in.
And she fell to the ground with a loud thud.