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Xaden made his way around the halls slowly—slowly enough to ignore the pain on his lower back.
The shadows tight around his torso were the only thing keeping him straight right now.
It had been unreasonable and dangerous to go alone on this mission outside the wards, but because it was dangerous there was also better odds for him if he went alone this one time, despite Garrick’s advice not to.
“And those same odds lead to a sword across your back,” Sgaeyl growled down the bond.
Xaden only rolled his eyes. The wound was nowhere near lethal. He had been slashed across his lower back, shallow enough not to make any real damage but just deep enough that he was certain he needed stitches.
And as good as he was with his shadows, Xaden was sure stitching his own back wasn’t an option.
“Should I tell Chradh—“
“No,” Xaden cut her off. He leaned his hand against the wall, focusing on the cold stone pressing into his hand instead of the burning behind. He took a deep breath and forced himself to continue. “I don’t have the energy to deal with him right now. Nor Bodhi or Liam.”
Sgaeyl went quiet in his head, probably because she realized at the same time as Xaden where his feet had taken him subconsciously.
“Is she awake?” Xaden asked quietly.
Thankfully, Sgaeyl didn’t insist on telling him it was a bad idea tonight.
“Yes.”
Xaden didn’t have to ask before he heard soft steps beyond the door and seconds later Violet was there.
Of course, the first thing he noticed was the silver strands of hair pooling around her shoulders, and he wondered if they would feel as soft against his fingers as they looked.
Xaden blinked once, focusing on the pain again.
“What’s wrong?” Violet asked, eyes inspecting him like they do during their sessions on the sparring mat and seeing too much.
Xaden walked inside, barely keeping his composure. Once the door was closed, he talked.
“I need your help,” he started quietly. “But I also need you not to ask any questions.”
Her eyes narrowed on him, and she definitely was seeing too much.
“What kind of help would the wingleader need this late at night?” she asked jokingly.
Xaden chuckled and hissed when he released the hold on his shadows without meaning to.
“You’re hurt,” Violet whispered, eyes going wide, and as if her words eased something in him, the cut started throbbing.
Adrenaline crash.
It had lasted him long enough—just enough to get to her—and when he tried taking a step forward his strength gave out.
Violet barely managed to catch him. Xaden regained his footing, but he let her help him onto her bed where he haphazardly laid face down.
“It’s a cut on my lower back,” Xaden explained as Violet searched for something in her armoire. “Not lethal but it hurts like a motherfucker.”
“You’re lucky a life of easily getting hurt means I keep a medkit with me,” Violet said, making her way over. Xaden could clearly see the alarm in her eyes but her tread was steady.
Looking back as much as he could, he observed Violet work. She gently lifted his jacket, and he cursed at the flare of pain in his back. Once she ripped open his shirt, Xaden let go of the last of his shadows.
Almost immediately, the wound started to bleed out slowly.
Xaden watched with amazement as Violet’s eyes flared in panic, reined it in and focused again in a matter of seconds.
“I’m guessing I can’t ask why you didn’t go to the healers,” Violet asked as she took things out of her kit.
When Xaden didn’t answer, her eyes met his with a hint of disappointment, and maybe because he felt guilty about it Xaden said, “It was safer here.”
Not the direct truth but not a lie either. Violet’s gaze lingered a second too long before focusing on his back.
“This will burn but it’ll keep infections away and numb the area,” she said, hands unfaltering as she wiped the wound. His back burned for three whole seconds before slowly easing into a prickling but tolerable sensation.
“At least I didn’t scream,” Xaden muttered, relaxing again.
Violet’s hand stilled against his skin, and he looked back to see what was wrong. Instead, a smile was plastered on her face.
“Xaden Riorson are you making jokes now?”
Xaden looked too late away from her lips and rolled his eyes. “It’s the adrenaline crash making everything fuzzy,” he said.
Because why else would he be joking right now? He shook his head slightly, forcing his mind to stay sharp and alert.
Even if his body kept relaxing out of its own volition. Xaden ignored it.
Violet only chuckled before she threw away the bloodied gauzes. The silence settled over them. It wasn’t tense at all but steady. Calming.
Just like how flying with Sgaeyl felt.
“I’m going to start stitching.” Violet’s soft voice brought him back to himself. A glance back showed her biting her lip, uncertain.
“I can see you thinking in that cunning head of yours, Sorrengail.”
She only rolled her eyes. “I need to sit down so I’m debating whether to move your feet or if you can move on your own,” she said.
Xaden tentatively raised his middle and hissed, but it was tolerable enough to scoot over after whatever Violet had cleaned the wound with was.
“It’s only a cut,” Xaden finished as he settled down again.
“Well, you’re not just anyone,” Violet replied quietly. Xaden only hummed, ignoring how the admission settled on his chest.
Violet cleaned the wound once more before sitting down beside his legs. Xaden observed her as she leaned in to study the wound. The wind blew coldly through her open windows, making the tips of her hair brush his back—and they were soft. Velvet soft as they kissed his skin like rays of sunshine.
Xaden shuddered slightly, and Violet must’ve thought it had hurt because she apologized and tied her hair back.
Xaden was unable to say anything else as Violet started stitching, and instead of focusing on the stabbing pain, he relished on the warmth of her leg against him. The steadiness of her fingers on his bare skin. How small and delicate she looked, even towering over him.
He didn’t know he had closed his eyes for a moment—and cursed mentally for not being more alert—until he realized Violet had stopped stitching.
Xaden opened them again to find Violet studying his face with that quiet curiosity he had come to like on her, and her eyes showed the gnawing question she wasn’t voicing.
“I can feel you want to ask something Sorrengail,” Xaden muttered, blinking to keep his eyes open.
Violet eyed his back for a second, lingering not on the wound but his relic and the scars etched there, before meeting his gaze again.
“Why did you come here?” she finally asked, those hazel eyes staring too deeply into him. He couldn’t make himself look away.
Because this was the real question he had ignored since he stood before her door. He hadn’t inherently chosen to come to her.
It had just… happened.
Somehow, in between everything going on this year they had started to actually get along, despite their family’s past. Even if Xaden wasn’t willing to accept it yet, he had come to trust Violet and—
Xaden inhaled sharply when it dawned on him, crystal clear even with the hazy tiredness in his mind. Something must’ve shown in his face because Violet simply knew.
He wasn’t able to voice it even if he owed her at least that truth. Swallowing past the knot in his throat, he allowed this little weakness be.
“I just… made my way around and got here,” Xaden finally admitted.
Violet was quiet as she finished stitching. “You can always come here, you know?” she said softly.
“I know,” Xaden replied immediately.
With a final inspection at his back, she applied more numbing tonic and covered it with gauze.
“All done,” Violet announced, standing up. He instantly missed her warmth. “You should leave them ten days maybe, and… you can come again if you want to check on them.”
Xaden hummed, hesitantly leaning up on his elbows to test his back. He groaned, not realizing how sore and tired he truly was, but the wound had eased into a dull ache and the stitches didn’t pull nor felt too tight.
“Thank you,” he said quietly, meeting Violet’s gaze in the mirror for a second.
He sighed. He needed to get to his own room now, but he barely felt like moving.
“You can stay,” Violet blurted out, tearing her gaze away when his head snapped her way.
Xaden knew that out of all the decisions he’d taken today, that… wouldn’t be the worst one. Still, he shouldn’t linger anymore. He already risked staying so late here, and it was Violet Sorrengail’s room, damn it.
Raising to his hands, Xaden felt Sgaeyl’s sigh through the bond, but she didn’t comment on it.
When he didn’t say anything else, Violet continued. “I mean—you’re already here either way. And it doesn’t have to mean anything, but you can stay. The bed is big enough anyway…”
But Xaden simply started scooting over and laid down again, finally surrendering to his physical exhaustion without a second thought.
“Just this once,” he muttered, closing his eyes. A moment later, something soft was laid over him, and when he opened his eyes Violet’s small back was facing him.
Xaden let out a small breath as her warmth settled against him.
***
The next morning, Xaden was awake earlier than usual so he could make his way back to his own room.
The wound felt tender in his back and the pain was coming back, but it was better than yesterday. With his shadows applying pressure he shouldn’t have trouble getting through the day.
Careful not to wake Violet, Xaden rose from the bed and covered her with an extra blanket before silently leaving.
As he walked to his room, Xaden realized there was none of the exhaustion from the night before, and as his mind cleared he realized he hadn’t had such a good rest in years.
With something settling in his chest, Xaden thought that maybe trusting Violet wasn’t so bad after all.