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Shanghai, 2045.
Gyuvin never expected he’d set foot in that city again—the city he’d once longed so desperately to visit. And why wouldn’t he? It was the city where the love of his life was born and raised.
So perhaps it was more accurate to say he’d been drawn to Shanghai because of Ricky, not the city itself. Still, the one time he’d visited in his twenties had been a pleasantly surprising experience.
He hadn’t returned after his breakup with Ricky, though.
He had no reason to. After all, his wish had always been to visit Shanghai hand in hand with Ricky. Without him, he had no business being there.
Or maybe that was just an excuse to avoid thinking about him. Not that it helped much anyway.
When Hanbin gifted him a trip to Shanghai for his birthday, Gyuvin was rendered speechless for the first time in ages, unable to react with his usual cheerful self. In fact, he couldn’t even recall if he’d managed any reaction at all.
“I remembered how much you liked it,” Hanbin had explained.
Gyuvin wasn’t stupid. He knew perfectly well that Hanbin was aware of how he avoided anything that reminded him of Ricky.
This wasn’t just a simple present, but a wake-up call that said, ‘it’s time to face reality.’
Despite his initial resistance, Gyuvin decided to go in the end. Hanbin had offered to accompany him, but Gyuvin knew he had to face this alone.
Of course, the moment the plane landed and he stepped onto Chinese soil again after twenty long years—no more, no less—the first thing he noticed was how drastically everything had changed. Not because of its technological advances, just… everything in general.
The more he walked and revisited the spots he once did, the clearer it became that the city had transformed beyond recognition.
It felt like the complete opposite of himself. Gyuvin had changed too, but only physically: a few strands of gray in his hair, less taut skin, new wrinkles by his eyes that no longer appeared only when he laughed, and the occasional backache reminding him he couldn’t act like an overgrown puppy anymore. Yet, in terms of who he truly was deep down, he still felt exactly like that 21-year-old boy he once was.
No amount of time had ever truly healed him. Standing here now, however, he finally realized how something so important to him, something that had trapped him in the past, was utterly insignificant to the rest of the world. He used to believe the whole world had frozen—but in truth, he was the only one who’d stayed frozen in time.
Gyuvin stood at a crosswalk, rubbing his face as he waited for the light to turn green. He’d always known something was wrong with him. It wasn’t normal to watch all his friends marry and start families while he remained eternally alone.
He’d tried to forget Ricky.
He had truly tried.
He’d met countless people: blind dates arranged by friends, from dating apps (he was forced to join...), and even flirted with a coworker.
Needless to say, none lasted more than a few more dates.
One sleepless night, Gyuvin found himself thinking about how some people claimed they had been cheating but were still in love. He would have given anything for even a single one-night stand. Just to feel, for a fleeting moment, that he’d moved on even slightly. But it was impossible for him. As if Ricky had left with his heart.
He should’ve begged Ricky to stay. But he hadn’t. Not even though he knew Ricky wasn’t one to apologize first.
The light turned green, yet Gyuvin remained rooted in place. His breath hitched as he could hear his heartbeat perfectly.
On the other side of the street stood a flash of fiery red hair standing out in the crowd—but it wasn’t the hair that caught his attention. It was the person it belonged to. Ricky.
People flowed past him on either side while the light stayed green, but Gyuvin couldn’t move no matter how hard he tried. His thoughts raced a mile a minute as Ricky began crossing the street, getting closer and closer.
What should I say? Just a casual “Hey! Long time no see”? Or—
Before he could decide, life decided for him. Ricky walked right past without giving him even a second glance.
Gyuvin felt the wind slap his face as cars started moving again. Oh.
Really, Gyuvin? You were going to greet him? It’s obvious he’s moved on, and you, instead of moving on, you wanna talk to him? Idiot.
Clearly, the most rational thing to do was to just keep walking. Wait for the light to turn green again and treat this encounter as a symbolic act of leaving Ricky firmly in the past without looking back.
…Without looking back, huh? That reminded him of a past ‘argument’ with Gunwook about the myth of Orpheus and Eurydice.
“I just don’t understand why he didn’t wait until he knew she was safe,” Gyuvin had said casually, not thinking much of it—but Gunwook had taken it personally.
“You don’t understand! The whole point is that he can’t save her because he loves her so much! Because he loves her, he’ll always turn around. To love is to turn around.”
The light turned green again. He should just keep walking.
He really should.
Turning around would only hurt him.
But now, he finally understood. Because he loved Ricky, he would always turn around, no matter how much that choice might hurt him.
Hurriedly, Gyuvin pushed through the crowd, following the distant red hair. If he accidentally elbowed someone, he was sorry, but honestly, he didn’t care much about others right now.
His heart pounded louder with every step as he struggled to get closer.
“To love is to turn around,” Gunwook’s voice echoed in his ears.
And then—
He watched as Ricky turned around. Their eyes met.