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Jevin put his hands on his hips casually, hoping to generally exude the energy of someone who was not about to fall over. "So, how's this work? Loser's whoever pops it?"
"What?" Ren shot him a look, pretending to be sensible. "No, it's just football."
"With skates?"
"With skates."
Jevin looked around at the other players on the ice, both Hypno and the losers. They all seemed at least interested in seeing this out, with the exception of Cleo, who always looked like she was unduly suffering some grand indignity. "I'm game," Jevin said, shooting Ren a casual and upright thumbs up.
"Alright, and that's the last of the questions?" Ren was already holding the whistle in front of his mouth. Possibly to acknowledge this, no one said anything. "Good. Ready, set-"
He blew the whistle, and Jevin set off.
First order of business: figure out the least conspicuous way to slice someone with the skates. Zeroth was to win, of course, so it went without saying.
As Jevin got the ball, dodging some only mildly illegal maneuvers, he realized 'figure out how to dribble on ice' should've been much higher up his order of business list.
His skates scraped together with just the worst sound as he avoided poking the ball head-on again, which-
Wait. How the hell was he supposed to kick it?
In his half-second of contemplation, Cleo tried to take the ball, kicking him square in the shin with the pick.
It was a real good thing Jevin didn't have any bones, huh?
He elbowed Cleo away, laughing. Imagine having bones! In this day and age?
Taking the ball back, he managed something resembling a shot, hitting the ball with the side of his foot. He did not almost fall, and no one can prove it.
The ball slid across the ice, until finally stopping at the opposing goalie's feet. False, for her part, didn't jump when it did so, despite how scared she looked.
Her expression dropped to puzzlement, and she didn't look up from the ball, even as Jevin approached. "How am I supposed to…?"
"Just use your hands," Ren called from her team's side of the stands. "Goalies can do whatever their hearts desire!"
She nodded just a little, looking up in time to watch Jevin score the goal. He wished she looked up a bit earlier, though, so she didn't have to watch him scramble to regain the ball in these f-
Ren blew the whistle again.
-lovely things, right.
"Alright!" he began, walking onto the rink in his regular shoes, clearly thinking his balance was as good as Jevin's. "Free throw time, right?" No one corrected him, though Hypno did raise an eyebrow. Jevin very elegantly slid back to their goal to watch with him. "Cleo, you wanna take this?"
Cleo glanced behind them, back at the other member of her two-person team. "Who else would?" She didn't even sound annoyed, just defeated.
"Perfect!" Ren smiled, placing the ball down with a flourish. Said flourish caused it to start sliding away. Before it fully could, though, Cleo got into position and kicked it-
-with the front of their skate, popping it instantly.
"Loser's whoever pops it, right?" Jevin decided he'd rather not skate back over, instead leaning on the goal super coolly and awesome-ly.
A war broke out on Ren's face between the bit and his role. "Well-"
Hypno took this opportunity to pipe up. "That's what I remember hearing."
"How many footballs do you have?" False asked. "'Cause I think that'd-"
"False," Cleo stage-muttered, "don't side with them!"
"Right, right. No comment, then." False nodded.
"…That is the last one I had, yes," Ren admitted, breaking his Ender chest. Without silk touch, too, letting shards of obsidian glass join them in the game. "Dammit."
"So the game is over," Jevin confirmed, skating over as casually as one could skate.
Ren glanced over, looking slightly scared. "Yes."
"And we got the only goal, huh?" It was hard to figure out the rhythm, balancing making an impression with keeping upright.
"Yes to that as well."
Jevin smiled. The next element he had to balance was avoiding the broken glass. "So, the score is 1-0, r-"
This was evidently too much for him, as he tripped on his own feet.
The first thing he said when he lifted his head back up was, "Yeah, I deserve that."