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Tim had been having a pretty crappy day before he got kidnapped.
Bruce would be disappointed at how easily Tim had been drugged and dragged to some run-down apartment. He was Robin, he was supposed to be better than that.
But he had still gotten snatched like some civilian, and he couldn’t even fight back because he couldn’t risk revealing his identity.
The blind fold was ripped off Tim’s face. Tim shook his head to clear the remaining fog from his thoughts and raised his eyes to greet his kidnapper. He was met with a red helmet and a leather jacket.
Great, just great.
Tim scowled at Red Hood as he approached him with a yellow cloth. “Don’t even think about it.”
The crime lord chuckled. “Huh, look who’s feeling confident.” He took another step closer.
Tim scooted away until his back hit the chipped and scratched wall. “I will literally bite your hand off if you take one step closer.”
“You’re a feisty one, Replacement.” He met Tim’s glare, then sighed and threw the yellow cloth at Tim’s face. “There. Now sit in that corner with your gag and shush.”
Tim raised a brow. He wasn’t going to be intimidated by some second-rate crime lord. “You can’t shut me up that easily.”
Hood took off his helmet, revealing surprisingly fluffy-looking hair with a shock of white down the center. He took a seat on the couch. “Try me.”
Tim rolled his eyes. When he shifted to get more comfortable, he felt a lump in his back pocket. A knife. If Tim could just get his hands on it, he might be able to break free. Tim eyed Jason. Welp. Time to stall. “Are you trying to distract me with your ‘intimidating scowl’?” Tim would have done air quotes if he could move his arms.
Jason leaned back. “Maybe I am, maybe I’m not.”
Tim tilted his head and muttered, “You’re a perplexing fellow.”
“Why, thank you.” he stood suddenly, walking to the kitchen. “You are somewhat perplexing yourself.”
Tim smiled, but it felt more like a grimace. “Why, thank you, but it wasn’t a compliment.” Jason seemed to bristle at that, and Tim silently celebrated.
“O-o-o, I’m so scared!” Jason retorted.
“Ha! You should be.”
“I was being sarcastic.”
“Yeah,” Tim snapped, “I know.” Operation Distract Jason was going pretty well so far, but Tim needed more time.
HIs fingers brushed the handle of the blade. He bit his lip. Just a little more.
“You ain’t that scary,” Tim drawled in the worst Gotham accent known to man. It was honestly embarrassing, especially after all the years he had honed it chasing the Bats all over Gotham.
Jason snorted and checked something in the oven, then turned to me. Amusement twinkled in his eyes. “Oh really? Push me some more and you’ll regret it.”
Tim smirked and replied, “Will I?” Tim probably shouldn’t provoke the guy with guns, but hey! Tim wasn’t going to live that long anyway.
Jason grinned. “Yeah, I think you will. Because I see the raging fire in your eyes.”
Did he . . . did he just speak in an English accent?
Tim’s side hurt with the laughter he was holding back. Who the heck was this guy? “All that rage is because I haven’t eaten since breakfast. I’m hangry!” Tim shot back. He tried to imitate puppy eyes, but it probably looked more like a seizure.
Jason groaned dramatically. “Same! My frozen lasagna is taking forever to reheat!” He actually looked crestfallen.
O-o-o-okay, then. “Uh, lasagna sounds pretty good right now,” Tim started. Maybe Tim could lull him into a false sense of security? “You up for sharing?”
“No way, José.”
“Shame.” Darn, so close.
They settled into an awkward silence as Jason waited for his lasagna. Soon enough he was settled on his couch with a steaming plate of lasagna in hand. Tim had to admit, his mouth was watering now.
Tim opened his mouth to speak, but Jason pointed his fork at him threateningly. “Shut up, I’m eating.”
Tim sighed. The knife was almost in his grasp . . . “C’mon, bro, just one bite and I’ll shut up.”
The guy growled. Like, actually growled. What the frick? Tim went to throw my hands up but was sadly stopped by his rope bindings. “Woah there, boy.”
Did Tim have a death sentence?
“I’m not a dog!” he snaps, and suddenly he’s right in front of Tim and bites Tim’s freaking arm.
Is that blood?
“OH MY GOSH WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?” Tim yelled. The knife has slipped from Tim’s grasp and is now out of reach, but Tim’s a little occupied at the moment.
“MY LASAGNA!” he yelled back, as if that was a good enough reason to bite Tim.
“HOW DID YOU EVEN KIDNAP ME?” This day was just getting better and better. “YOU ARE INSANE!”
“SO ARE YOU!”
“I KNOW!”
Tim and Jason’s chests heaved. They stared at each other for a moment, then Jason cleared his throat and resumed eating his dinner as if nothing happened.
Tim inched back farther, his back pressed against the wall now. “J-just eat your lasagna and leave me alone in my corner.”
Jason gave no indication that he heard him, focusing solely on his food. After he took the last bite, he licked his lips and fixed me with a hungry gaze.
“Now I’m ready for dessert.”
Tim blinked. “Okay dude, what the—”
—
Dick slid the window open silently, escrima stick in hand. When Oracle had lost sight of Tim, she’d notified Dick almost immediately. Bruce was in space on Justice League business, and luckily Dick had been staying at the manor (he had been binging all five BBC Merlin seasons, but that isn’t important).
It smelled like fresh-baked lasagna, and as Dick crept through the kitchen, two dirty plates in the sink.
Loud laughter came from the living room. Dick flinched. He inched forward, ready to strike. Dick froze when he saw the scene before him.
The Crime Lord, the Red Hood, Jason Todd, threw back his head as he cackled at the comedy on the television. Beside him, Tim shook with poorly-restrained laughter. A bowl of popcorn lay between them, in danger of toppling onto the floor.
“Tim?” Dick said. Jason shot off the couch and had a gun pointed at Dick before he could blink. Tim looked over his shoulder with a frown.
“Oh, hey, Dick,” he said calmly. “What’s up?”
Dick opened his mouth, then closed it again. “Uh, I’m here to rescue you?”
“Oh!” Tim seemed to realize why Dick was there. “Oh, no, I’m fine! Jason and I just had a small, itty-bitty misunderstanding but we’re all good now! Right, Jason?”
Jason glanced at Tim, then sighed and lowered his gun. “Look, Dickie,” Jason drawled, “I kidnapped your little birdie. Sorry. We good?”
Dick was honestly slightly concerned and very much confused, but all that mattered was that Tim was safe, so . . .
“Yeah, we’re good.”