Work Text:
This was it for Maekawa, she was actually going to die. She was going to be killed for something she didn’t even do. She could cry over and over that it wasn’t fair, but that wasn’t going to save her.
The very idea of these games isn’t fair to begin with.
Why did he do this? Why would Shishikura do something so stupid, with absolutely no regard for how she might feel? Who is she even kidding? He had already stabbed her in the back twice.
But this? This was so much worse.
So, she sat there in that empty room, awaiting her execution. Wiping her tears because she didn’t want to look weak in her final moments. There was no point in crying about it. If Tei was right, she’d see Shishikura again soon. Once she does, she’s not going to let him hear the end of it.
The sad part is, she’d probably forgive him again.
Just then, Monomoko appeared at her side, just like she had all those other times. Instantaneous and without warning. Except this time, she was holding a piece of paper.
“What’s that? You got some sort of farewell speech prepared for me?” She forced a laugh. It was all she could do to try and make the situation a little better.
Monomoko shook her head. “No. It’s a letter, addressed to you specifically, Maekawa.”
She froze. A letter for her? Maekawa tried to think about who might’ve wanted to write some dumb letter for her of all people. Perhaps it was a farewell message from everyone else, although she doubted they’d be able to agree on what to write so quickly. So, then who could it be?
“Who’s it from?”
“It’s signed by Snowball, so I’m guessing Shishikura.”
Snowball.
Maekawa’s heart almost stopped at the mention of that nickname. Of course it was him, she thought, who else would do something like this?
He had planned this whole thing after all. Him writing a letter wasn’t totally far-fetched. Part of her didn’t want to read it out of spite. Why should she care about what he has to say? It can’t be anything good.
But her heart seemed to win that internal battle.
She snatched the letter from where Monomoko left it on the floor, opening it with care. Her fingers trembled. She was scared. So scared, and yet she couldn’t look away. As soon as she read the first line, her eyes couldn’t stop moving.
Dear Maekawa,
If you’re reading this, that means I’m probably dead.
Sorry, for getting murdered, I guess. If I killed myself…well, I actually can’t see myself going that far. I hope it doesn't get to that point.
In any case, I’m writing this letter to you in the hopes that in the event of my untimely death, my feelings will still reach you. I’m not very good at writing heartfelt letters, so I hope this will be enough.
From the day that I met you, I can’t say it was anything cliche like love at first sight. Not that you weren’t pretty! But being brought into a killing game was the more important issue on my mind.
I did enjoy your company though. There was something about you that was just so captivating to me. That wasn’t the turning point of the story though.
It wasn’t even when we were handcuffed together either. It wasn’t the reason why I always stuck around you when our handcuffs were off. Or maybe it was and I just didn’t realize it yet.
It wasn’t when you told me that I was the only person that didn’t make you angry whenever they opened their mouths. I’ll admit, I was a bit flattered.
Growing up the way I did, I didn’t really have any real friends. No one I could really trust either. It’s still hard for me to open up even now, but I want to try for you. I want to tell you everything, and with time, I’ll get there. So please don’t hate me for being so secretive all the time.
Looking back, I think the moment I realized how I truly felt about you must’ve been after the third trial. I know, it’s silly. To think that I’d have some romantic epiphany after getting away with killing someone.
It eats away at me every day, even as I’m writing this letter to you. I’m sorry that I tried to kill you. I’m sorry for acting irrationally and hurting your feelings. It’s a weak apology that you don’t have to accept, but I wanted to add it in regardless.
But I digress, it was in that moment when you were yelling at me that I realized how stupid I had been. I can’t even imagine now, valuing my own life over yours.
You’re everything I could ever need Maekawa. In fact, I don’t think I’d have made it this far without you. To think I’d try to sabotage it all for a life without you in it is disgusting.
If you don’t feel the same way, then I’m surprised you’ve made it this far without ignoring me. It’s alright if you just skip to the last line or something. I’ll probably be rambling for a while.
I’ve thought a lot about what the future might hold for us if we were to make it out together. If by some stroke of luck, my feelings were reciprocated, I’d have liked to take you to my favorite spot in my hometown.
It’s not much. No tourists and rarely anybody passing by. It would be just the two of us, quietly taking in the beautiful scenery. Quiet might be a little hopeful when it comes to you, but I could care less how it goes. I just want to share that special moment with you and you alone.
If we had met under different circumstances, I’d like to think things could’ve ended a little better. Though that’s just wishful thinking. I’d still be a nervous wreck and you’d still be, well you. Someone who wouldn’t willingly be with someone like me.
In another alternate universe, where all of us went to the same school and were still friends. That’s something I dream about a lot. It’s pretty fun, since I’ve been homeschooled for most of my life. I don’t really know what high school would be like, but I’m sure there’s never a dull moment with you around.
We’d be in the same class. You’d probably find all sorts of ways to distract me. We’d find somewhere to eat alone for lunch, with you saying that it’s too loud in the cafeteria. Personally, that'd be my favorite part of the day.
On our walk home, you’d still hang around me, even if you lived in the opposite direction. Then you’d text me about how tired you were when you got home, as if that couldn’t have been avoided.
In fact, we’d continue texting past nightfall. Talking about whatever gossip you picked up in the halls or a new friend that I made that day. Even when we’re studying, we’d call each other. Not speaking, just enjoying the other’s presence.
I’m sorry if the paper is starting to get a little wet. I tend to get emotional really easily. Although you probably already knew that.
It just hurts. Like knives coming out of my throat the minute I start pouring out the words that I’ve been desperately trying to ignore. I don’t know how you manage to be so confident all the time. I can barely put these words on paper. Imagine me trying to actually say them out loud.
If I ever even get to do that, that is.
I don’t want to drone on any longer than I have to. I hope things turn out better for you than it did for me. Also, once you make it out of here (because I have no doubt you will), make sure to tell your granny I said hi.
I’m sure I’ll be seeing her very soon.
Regardless, I’m glad you were my very best friend until the end, Maekawa.
Sincerely, your Snowball.
By the time Maekawa was finished reading, her vision was completely obscured. Eyes wet with the last tears she’d every cry out. The stains she created matched Shishikura’s own. She was so angry. With herself, or him, she didn’t know. Frustrated was probably a better word.
There was no time to think about how she might feel about him. She’d never been this close with anybody else before either. He was her friend. And yet, if given the chance, maybe she’d wanted to have been more.
“Everything has been set up. Are you ready to go, Maekawa?” Monomoko spoke up, voice strained like she was trying to hold back more tears.
Maekawa nodded. She’d never been as sure as she was right now. Because when she dies, she’ll get to see him again. She’d slap some sense into him first, but after that.
Well, this time she’d make sure he never left her sight again.
It would be as if none of this had ever happened in the first place.
“I’ll see you soon, Snowball.”