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Aruni’s regular routine check usually happened in the evening, whenever Osa was free since she was the busiest in the base. The first few meet ups were strictly professional with basic courtesy of how their days went. As these meet ups became more frequent, Aruni was the first one to break the ice by saying, “all these wire patches on my vitals make me feel like a battle robot in maintenance.”
Osa then said, “like what, Alita from Battle Angel or Maria from Metropolis?”
Aruni asked who these characters were, and that’s when Osa began to spill more about herself. It’s always a delight to hear about one’s passion outside of work. Developing friendship wasn’t hard, with Aruni as the main listener who heard what Osa had to say.
They talked about almost anything during the check up and repairs, from confiding private concerns and worries, to petty gossips and chit chats. Then when IQ and Finka joined the Nighthaven, it was an expansion of their little group.
She missed the sense of privacy they once had, but the liveliness was a welcoming change. It helped to distract her anxiety away from the nasty part of the prosthetic check ups, especially during the disconnection and reconnection of the nerves. Laughter really was the best medicine and numbing agent.
“I’m telling you,” IQ finished typing more codes on her laptop, “when you spend time with three gay men who are either oppressed, oblivious or obnoxious, you become a lot more aware of how they stare at each other.”
“What, looking for big personalities?” Finka lets the other women chuckle at her one liner. “I know all about it. Slavic men.”
“Speaking of shy man,” Osa held onto the resin product from the 3D printer, and tried to wriggle it free, “what are you gonna do about Trace?”
It took Aruni some time to realise the question was directed at her, because she was on auto-pilot mode as an audience. “Hm?”
“He looks at you with lovey dovey gooey eyes.” When Osa raised her eyebrow at Aruni, it meant that she wanted an answer. Not some generic and roundabout ‘hohums.’
“I think you’re reading too much into it.” Nonetheless, Aruni took an attempt to blow it off.
“Nope. He’s an open book.” Finka scoffed while scratching her scalp with a screwdriver. “You know when we prep up for the practice missions? Yeah, I see him looking at you.”
“Oh, but-” Aruni felt a bit of an itch on one of the wire patches under her armpit.
“And that time during summer when we had the briefings out in the open? A certain someone had his Redhammers set up the tables and canopies under the shades.” IQ snatched the screwdriver away from Finka and pumped out sanitising gel to clean it up.
“It was a hot summer-”
“Girl. Girl! He’s done that for you because your mega chunk-a-tron of arm and leg heats up crazy under the sunlight. And your battery pack too. I know you don’t complain about a lot of things, which makes it hard for me to make something better for you, you silly girl.” Osa poked at Aruni’s rib for a playful tickle. “But he seems to notice a lot about you. He sees you in that kind of light.”
“Oh.” This was something new for Aruni.
“Oh my God, that time when he took your load to carry up the stairs.” For less intensive runs through the maps, people usually carried their own ammunition boxes. Taking four wasn’t a problem for Aruni but Thermite insisted on taking three while puffing up at how heavy they were.
“He always gives you a bottle of water.” Already infused with electrolyte powder, guava flavoured.
Finka slapped on her knee in sudden realisation. “I saw him smiling like a doofus on his phone. I bet it was a message from you.”
“When was this?” Aruni couldn’t fathom which one of her messages made him look like that, since they text each other every few days or weeks.
“I don’t know. But he does that sometimes.”
“No, don’t you remember? That was in October. That one time when we were travelling back from Brazil.” IQ kept her eyes on the laptop, rapidly pressing on the backspace. “He made the weirdest noise, like ‘whale, ah’ll be daymd,’ in his cowboy accent and kept looking at whatever was on his phone. Kept himself entertained for quite some time.”
“Yeah, and Håvard got curious. He was sulky when Trace told him to mind his own business.”
Ah. An image flashed across Aruni’s memory. She was dressed up as a gingerbread man with plush that looked like a cup of milk on her prosthetic leg. The gag was to have her walk normally, and then the leg became ‘detached’ because of the ‘milk.’ Pretty clever idea, she thought. His reply was a simple and underwhelming, ‘ha,’ so it was a relief to know he enjoyed it just as much as she did.
“Apha, it came to my attention that you aren’t the one who doesn’t know how he feels about you.” IQ slapped the laptop down and turned to face Aruni. “You couldn’t have known because this dork is hiding his feelings from you.”
Audible gasps and remarks filled the air, ranging from ‘oh no now we gotta do something about this,’ to ‘oh my God this boy-’
“Okay, okay. But we need to ask you.” Finka waved her hands to shush the other women. “Do you want to start something with him?”
“I-” Aruni felt the dampness under her palm, as she had been gripping on the sheets of the stretcher bed. His face? Looked nice. She had temptations to run the tips of her fingers along the burn scars of his hands and arms. There were desires for her eyes to meet his, which they often did. She wanted to stare at him longer and wipe off the flickers of guilt with a hug.
“You don’t have to return his feelings, you know. Relationships are like that.” Those words spoken by Finka had sincerity, as her drama with Tachanka was well-known. “But if you want him, we’re here to help you.”
Osa said nothing much other than observing the screen of a monitor. The machine’s sole purpose was to read the heart rate, and the graph had been ever so turbulent with spikes here and there throughout their conversation. Then she saw it settle down, not as much as someone who’d be composed and unbothered. There were tiny leaps and dips, even more so when Aruni nodded with a weak smile. “Please. I’d appreciate it.”
They nodded back and the camaraderie bound them together. Deciding Christmas to be the D day, and if things went well, the New Years could be reserved for the kiss.
She has dated other people before, but she hasn’t been in the dating game in a while, and this is the first time she is attempting to date a good friend. With advice and tips from her colleagues in mind, Aruni greets Thermite and they walk over to the indoor gymnasium. It’s a facility neither owned by the Rainbow or Nighthaven. IQ suggested somewhere that’s minutes closer to the city if they wanted to go out for lunch or anything else to keep the options open.
“Wow, when was the last time I tried rock climbing?” Thermite is rolling his shoulders around, eyes already giddy. The bells are struck by people who reach the top, which rattles him further with excitement. “This is a nice change of pace from our usual lifting reps.”
“And you’d still be doing them if I didn’t drag you out.” Aruni would put her hand on his head for a scuffle, but that’s what friends do. Instead, she redirects her hand on his back and goes for a pat. Wait. Not a pat. It should be a stroke. Sensually, as Finka said. Curse her awkwardness because she ends up giving Thermite a hard rub and a smack on his lower back.
Thermite’s eyes widen, then quickly returns to his quirky self. “Absoutely ma’am. You know how to handle this stubborn old bull.”
“Psh.” Aruni can’t help but to cough at the cockiness, so quickly finds something else to look at other than his goofy grin.
“But won’t this be too much of a strain for you?” Thermite takes a gander upon the course. Flat vertical for the beginners, slight angles for the intermediate and steep ones for the experts. “I’m def going to be dead with a couple of these mid levels.”
“I’ll be fine. Anja installed different parts for extra mobility.”
“That’s awesome.” Thermite pays to rent out two lockers and hands out the key. He also whips out an energy bar to place it in her hand, and this man knows her favourite flavour.
“You gotta tell me where you get these almond bars.” Aruni turns the package around to find the manufacturer. “I can’t seem to find the vendor around here.”
“That’s my secret.” He shrugs and moves towards the harness. “And you can’t interrogate it outta me. I’m the FBI, remember?”
“And I’m a civilian with a dangerous mechanical arm. Surely I can-” Aruni minces on the lessons that Ela taught her. Yes, the mischievous Polish also came because apparently she could sense the stench of ‘fun’ at Osa’s lab. The woman denied eavesdropping but they let it slide. Okay, so she said a thing or two about keeping an attitude. Cheeky and blatant. “I can give you the magic touch to be more agreeable.” There we go. It’s a bold sweet talk and while the other girls boo’d at Ela for suggesting something so corny, Aruni found it quite witty.
“Whoa.” Thermite dips his hands on the chalk bowl and dusts out the excess. He seems to be fixated on the job but takes a few glances at her. “I doubt you’ll have to put that much of an effort.”
Aruni cocks her head. “What do you mean by that?”
“I-”
“Excuse me.” Someone is quick to interrupt them. They introduce themselves as the rock climbing instructor, who is warning Thermite to wear a harness before the climb. Aruni and Thermite apologise for forgetting the basic safety, so they briefly take a short lesson on how to work with the ropes, the clips and the ways of spotting for each other by adjusting the rope length when one climbs while the other awaits on the ground. “Alright, we’re good to go. It's great fun as a couple. Enjoy, guys.”
“Oh.” Fluster takes Aruni off guard. Before she can deny the assumption, the instructor leaves to find more people to look after.
Thermite also stays quiet. He is working at a hasty pace to check the harness on him, and grips on the rock climbing holds against his palms and shoes. “Would you like to go first, Apha?”
Has he not heard that? There are people who see them as a couple. Not just this one, but her colleagues back at the base too. And yet he is clueless, or is acting like one, as if turning a blind eye on it is just as fine. “Yeah, go ahead.” Aruni knows it’s ridiculous to feel annoyed at Thermite and his ambiguity, but she can’t really blame him. Herself hasn’t given him a clear sign and one flirtatious line is nowhere enough.
He takes off and she holds onto the line. The man is fast at first, and then he slows down upon finding uncertain areas. Hanging on the left, and then swinging to the right. Thermite uses the momentum to leap across, reaching out for the hold that juts out more than the others, but misses the mark. He slips and fails. Aruni feels the tug in her hands, so she pulls the rope down to give Thermite some time to fix his posture before landing slowly back on the ground.
“Agh, I nearly had it.” He huffs, but far from being frustrated. There is a genuine joy on his face, the kind of expression that suits him well. “Alright. Your turn.”
“Right.” Aruni shakes her head mildly, as she needs to focus on the exercise that she hadn’t done in a while. Well, she had climbed plenty of times before the incident, but we all know why it had to be put on hold. Although both of her prosthetics have high friction rubber paddings installed specifically for this occasion, she is nervous of how well it’ll be.
The first grip is solid. The ball of her gear-jointed feet plants firmly on the hold, but as soon as she forces herself up against the gravity, the weight of prosthetics is heavier than expected. While Aruni can dig harder into the holds, she is afraid of crushing them and ultimately destroying the wall. Finka did tell her with full confidence, with gusto, ‘show him what you’re made of. Show!’ It wasn’t just dating advice. This is a matter of confidence and self-worth. Aruni steadies her breathing and keeps her body closer to the wall, and she takes two more holds before she falls.
She feels the jerking motion from the rope, despite being at a height that’s lower than a door frame. “Damn. That was close, huh?” Thermite nods with the rope bound around across his four fingers.
“Yeah.” Aruni rubs her face to spread away the embarrassed flush. “Can you let me down? It’s not even a big drop.”
“Oh. Haha.” He releases the grip. “Yeah, yeah.”
Not many words are shared between them, or at least that’s how Aruni feels. They encourage, share a few tips and observations on each other’s climb, take a break for a snack and try the climb again. Thermite keeps aiming to gain the height by skipping a few holds with dynamic leaps and jumps, while Aruni works on finding steady balances to evenly distribute her mass.
In the end, Thermite reaches the top first. Adrenaline bursts within him as he hits the bell while spouting out an ecstatic holler. Upon returning back to the ground, he is quick to pull Aruni in for a hug. It’s the same energy they always have been sharing as best friends, so a few hops and jumps feels normal. Fond, even.
“You can do it! I believe in you.” Thermite squeezes on her shoulders for a massage. He is in the high mood, in the mode of a hyped up buddy. “If you manage this, lunch is on me. You got it!”
Aruni would gladly take the offer. That’s what she would do without questioning his intentions. However this time, she wants something more. A bit of self-motivation. “Jordan, if I manage to reach the top, I need to ask you something.” This is it. All the four women were rampantly telling her. Find the right time to ask him out on a date. This is it.
“Oh? Like what?”
She combs her stray hair back. “It’s my secret. I’ll tell you when I make it up there.” Without looking back, she jogs to run a few meters up the wall. That’s more than a quarter of the height done.
Left hand and foot act as anchor while her right counterparts find the necessary holds to hoist up. She finds it much easier to rely on her human skin and muscles to do the lifting while the synthetic parts act as an extension of inanimate blocks that support her body. Compared to Thermite’s speedy ascension, Aruni learned to work with patience and endurance. Pretty much like how her life has been after all these years.Now she has come to the trickiest part of the climb. Her left foot is on tip toe while her left arm is locked down at a perpendicular angle, much like a straight walking stick. She has her right hand above her head, holding on the knob with just three of her fingers. Her right leg is bent like a frog, like someone who is determined to take three steps at a time rather than one. Heave and ho. There is only a sliver of strength left in her thigh. Swearing at her own incapability, Aruni is grinding her teeth, exerting every ounce of effort to have her joints move.
She can give up and try again after a break. There is always next time.
But not after what she has said to Thermite. It’s a promise she made to him, herself and the determination to be more honest. To be braver. Aruni has set this day to be different from any other, and now is the time to make it work.
“Oh no-”
She does more than tapping the bell at the top. Her entire right leg stretches, propelling her head upward to smack against the metallic jingle, which causes her to lose all grip on the wall. This time her entire stomach lurches as she experiences free fall, and the rope’s tension pulls back a bit too late because she feels an impact.
It horrifies her to not feel the padded ground. Her hands land on a much squishier surface, head on the firm pair of pectorals and nose picks up a familiar and favourable scent.
“Jordan!” Aruni has landed on Thermite and when she jolts up, her hands are pinning on his shoulders. Knowing what her prosthetics can do against frail human skins, she quickly raises his t-shirt to check on fractures or abrasion. There aren’t signs of injuries yet, so she will have to monitor and check for bruises later. “Jordan, I’m so sorry! Are you okay?”
“Wowee.” He sounds choked. “Didn’t know I’d catch the sun itself today. You really shine up there, and you’re also super heavy.”
“Seriously?” Aruni hears him alright this time. She is flabbergasted that he’s cracking a joke right this moment, as if nothing has happened. “You’re unbelievable.” Then why is she laughing, alongside with him who is grinning ear to ear despite the pain and discomfort?
“I owe you lunch, as I have said.” Thermite lay a gentle touch on her right hand. “And I gotta hear what you want to ask from me.”
Aruni contemplates once. Twice. He is still cute but that doesn’t excuse him from delaying the rope pull. “What were you doing? I thought you had your hands on the rope.”
“I did,” Thermite blinks sheepishly, “and you can call me stupid, but I got too invested in you and your rocket jump. It seemed like physically impossible but you bounced like a broken spring, and it got me thinking whether you had the fight AND flight mode rather than fight or flight. It may sound like a joke but there are people who can work both ways, or maybe you could be mirroring the turbo motion from your prosthetics and reaching beyond the limit of your biological potential.”
“You nerd.”Aruni punches him on the rib and walks away. She needs a space to calm down, because whatever he just said, that lousy excuse has no business sounding so funny, absurd and adorable. It sounds authentically Jordan Trace, and Apha has to show some degree of disdain to show whatever he did was a bad mistake. It was a health hazard.
“Apha, I still see you laughing!” Thermite has yet to catch up, but he will sprint at a full speed once he recovers. “Tell me what you really wanted to ask. We’re still having lunch together, right?”
“ฉันไม่รู้!” She needs cool air. A distraction to ease her mind off of the texture of his body under hers, and the very thought keeps tingling on her nerves.
“That’s not fair! Duolingo hasn’t taken me that far in learning Thai. Pie-can lay! Pie-can!”
“It’s ไปกันเลย and you’re saying it wrong!” Aruni’s voice quivers in unconcealable humour. She shakes her head, thinking about how hard she is falling for him.