Chapter Text
Being in high school and getting new friends has brought a lot of new experiences to Ayumu.
Between all of those, a new experience was that of appreciating sports a little more than before. As he was a sickly child, he knew he couldn't play and thus had never paid much attention to it, but (while he still wasn't physically strong enough to handle many sports) now that was different.
His friends put a lot of effort into their clubs and activities. They studied, practiced or prepared for different things.
Even Reiji (who he recognizes is different from the rest for him) took his club seriously. He was the captain of the soccer club, and he was always busy with it. Even when he managed with studies and socialization, it was not rare to see Reiji practicing at school or even in parks when they had days off. He took the time to ensure the team had enough fulfilling practices with other schools and everyone got along- Reiji was truly a good captain, in Ayumu’s eyes.
That's why, even if he's just watching this competition through the TV, he feels the frustration he’s surely having.
If he wasn’t that weak, maybe he could’ve accompanied them, but traveling that much with the heat of summer would’ve been too much on him and he didn’t wish to add to Reiji’s worries. He would watch it with some of his friends, and that was it.
The team was now going through the qualifiers for some tournament, and it was a tight match. Reiji’s team had taken the offensive, and they were good and fast, but the other team were excelling at opposing them, taking the advantage of the situation now that they were more tied.
They make a bunch of strategies they've practiced before without a doubt, but that doesn't make it any easier.
“Oh come on, that's a foul!”
He's unable to avoid flinching as he hears someone else's voice, bringing him back to reality.
Reiji had also taken a hit before, stopping the game for a few seconds before resumming, the Captain back on the front of the team.
Being unable to say if he was putting on a front or he truly was okay was annoying him, too.
And eventually, the end of the match approaches.
They don't stop trying until the very end, not letting the mood affect them, if anything out of their pride, until the final whistle is heard, and the ones to celebrate are the rival team.
The mood is sour even between them that were far away from the match, looking at the TV, before a clap is heard to call their attention.
“Well, we need to cheer them up when they're back!”
“Right. What they've done so far is amazing, and the other team has more seasoned players!”
“True! Those guys were the favorites and our team still put up a fight!”
Ayumu smiles a little, hearing them. It felt like they could share his feelings in that moment, which proves to him again how amazing high school was.
The rest of the afternoon is spent in mindless talk, as they watch other matches not only of that sport, and then some other shows.
It's closer to evening (though the sun is still strong) when his phone rings, and he knows to step outside of the room to reply.
Of course, the contact showed Reiji’s picture. He has no idea of how to offer comfort to him (or if he'd even want that) but he eventually decided that it'd be worse if he doesn't reply when Reiji is choosing to call him of all the people.
“Hello.”
“Ayumu? Hey. How’s it going over there?”
“It's hot. We had some ice cream with the guys earlier…”
“What, really?!”
“Y-Yeah.”
“No fair, invite me too.”
“There was no invitation, really. We were meeting up anyway, so we decided to buy them and eat them at Tsubasa-senpai’s house.”
“Geez Ayumu, I feel the cold over here but no ice cream~”
“Ah?”
“Nothing, nothing. Well… I take it you guys met up to see the match?”
“I… We did, yes.”
“You saw your lucky pouch did work, then.”
“How so?”
“I didn't get injured with that kick!”
What do you say to someone who worked so hard and didn't get the best result? What could he say to Reiji that wouldn't sound something as common as he's going to hear from others?
“Reiji…”
“A lot is going to change now, uh?”
“Eh?”
“Nothing! Sorry, teachers are telling me that I gotta finish getting everyone to go back. See you back home!”
“Y-Yeah. See you.”
He wonders if he could explain that bittersweet taste to Reiji, somehow.
Even if he can't do anything, he hopes that the posts on social media about different cat cafes having new summer menús catch his attention, feeling a little relieved when Reiji sends a reaction to a few of them, agreeing to go with him to try them out.
—o—
They're unable to meet in private until school starts again, as Reiji had a bunch of things to do after, and Ayumu understands- He also had things to get settled before going back into the school period.
That's why he's not surprised when he's unable to find Reiji in his classroom during lunch or later when classes finish, choosing to go home.
But when he's about to leave, he hears the shout at him before seeing the boy running towards him.
“Ayumu!”
“Reiji?!”
“Geez, glad I caught you!”
“What are you doing here? Don't you have practice? God, you're all sweaty already, don't get near.”
“Ah, sorry.”
“Mh.”
Reiji grins as he offers him a napkin, cleaning his face as he keeps talking.
“Well! I thought I wanted us to enjoy some more time together before I graduated. I plan to keep seeing you, but we'll both be busy since you'll be a third year student next year! So! I thought that now that I'm not the captain of the team anymore, we could go back together after school sometimes?”
Even if Reiji said it with a smile, he can't help the shock.
“Eh? You’re… No longer the captain?”
“Yeah. I figured it would be for the best if I gave it up now. That way, the guys can start getting used to it. Kai will do great, and Kensuke already has the taste of bitter defeat. They're fired up, actually.”
“I- I see. That's… It's a shame.”
“I'll still be practicing! Just, you know, a little less as I have to prepare for exams. You have days when you're not staying at the club, right? Maybe we can go out on those days, Ayumu?”
“W-Well, we do tend to have some days without activities… Days like today.”
“So, you're not busy now?”
“No. I was going home.”
“As I was~ If you have the time, how about we go to that cafe you sent? They still should have the summer menu before the autumn one drops… If you're not busy now?”
“I… Sure. Let's go.”
—o—
It's when they're almost done, when Reiji is pouring part of his juice into his glass that he asks something that he wouldn’t have heard if he wasn’t paying attention to him.
“Hey, Ayumu.”
“Yes?”
“I was wondering… Why did you make that pouch for me?”
It was an offer from the clothing club. They offered to teach students how to make some small bags with prayers across the year, being more popular to give during the weeks where exams were happening, or when the clubs had important matches.
Ayumu had put a prayer for Reiji's wellbeing in it.
“I’ve… Told you already. I couldn't go, so I… I wanted to keep wishing you luck somehow.”
“I- I see. But still… Why?”
Why?
You're different from others, you're perhaps one of my closest friends…
But he can't say that to him, which is why he hates his cheeks turning pink as he slips a glance at him.
“Why…? Isn't it… Obvious already?”
“Then, Ayumu, you- You too?”
Now he's unable to avoid looking at Reiji, seeing his smile.
He does remember a cocky smile in their first meeting in that sport event, so different from the one he had now. In barely a year, their relationship had changed quite a lot, enough for everyone to tease them about it and how much they clashed before.
In a way, that competitiveness between them is what made them closer.
Now he knows things he didn't know back then.
How he wasn't teasing, but admiring in his own way. Like how warm Reiji could smile, like now. Reiji… Also thought the same?
“...Yeah.”
Ayumu doesn't remember ever seeing Reiji's face changing that much that fast, but the grin goes even to his eyes that shine brighter than before, and it puts that knot in his stomach yet again.
“That’s… Okay, that's amazing. Thanks! Man, and here I was worrying how to say it.”
“We better get going. You do have club activities tomorrow.”
“Yup, I know~ Come on, go buy your sweets, I'll pay for the meal.”
“No, let me-”
“Nope, no arguing. I invited you.”
“I sent the menus!”
“And there's more to check, so how about next time you pay?”
“...Fine.”
He doesn't want to think much of it, smiling a little when he notices Reiji doing so, but feeling unable to comment on it.
It's when they stop for a red light that he sighs a little as he rearranges his bags into one hand for a little bit that Reiji taps his shoulder, making him turn.
“Ayumu. Here.”
“Mh? What are you doing?”
He's a little surprised to see Reiji offering his hand. Blinking, he looks at him without understanding.
Reiji looked a little to the side as he didn't move. Noticing that, he looks down to his own full hands, before understanding it, looking at the other with a small scowl.
“I can carry my bags.”
“That's not…”
“Reiji?”
“No, it’s nothing. I can wait, so take your time.”
Was he being slow by carrying them all?
“I don't need to take my time. Let's go home, come on.”
“Yes~”
—o—
He'd like to say that was the only time that Reiji didn't quite act like himself. But all those times, he'd just give him a small sheepish smile before trying to get back to normal.
Ayumu’s not sure of what that means, and after giving it hours of thought, he had to decide to consult someone else.
“So Reiji-san is acting weird?”
“I… I wonder if he's frustrated? If he's trying to make the most out of what's left of his high school experience.”
“But he acts weird just with you.”
“Well… I guess we do spend more time together now, so maybe it's awkward for him. But he was the one who asked, so I'm sure he wouldn't want to suddenly stop it. He’s quite considerate, actually.”
“And what about… that? Haven't you considered that you think he's acting strange because you also have more time to think of that?”
Ayumu feels his cheeks turning red, fully understanding what the other implies.
“I don't think I should put an extra weight on him now, so that isn't a worry I intend to put on him.”
Ryota raises his eyebrow at him, which is why he prefers to busy himself looking through the hanging rack in the store.
They had met earlier to go to the bookstore to get the new edition of a book they were reading at the same time, and now were doing part of Ryota's club activity work, finding different inspiration for the designs while also buying some new clothes.
“Don't you think he might want to leave things clear? Reiji-san is a busy person. I'm sure he's going to keep playing in university, and knowing him he'll want to fully become independent so he's likely to look for a job, too. It might be better if he has the time to think of it.”
“There's nothing to think of, really. More like, I have to accept the rejection it's bound to come with.”
“You don't know if Reiji-san is going to reject your feelings, Ayumu.”
“I know he thinks we're friends.”
“Kou is one of my best friends, but he's also my boyfriend. Ah, wait, this color looks good on you.”
He lets Ryota keep going as he looks at complementary clothes to it, smiling as he asks him to try them on.
“Who knows, he might even want to be formal enough to call yourselves boyfriends.”
Now Ryota was just teasing him…
“What changes with being boyfriends, even?”
“Well, for starters, you can kiss him.”
“Kiss-!”
Ryota laughs, and he feels the need to hide.
“It's more… Intimate, perhaps? It's different. You're still friends, but it's also more than that. And even talks can get deeper than before. I just think it's not a bad idea to consider your feelings and if Reiji-san wouldn't want to know about them, considering how much attention he pays to you, and considering he does that because he wants to.”
“I'll… Think about it.”
“Okay. Let me know when you do it, I'll help you prepare for the date.”
“If such a thing even happens.”
Even if he's glaring at him, Ryota just chuckles, before settling into looking at his clothes instead.
“Maybe this… I think this looks good. Wait, I want to take a picture to sketch this a little.”
“What about a video?”
“Yes, that's a good idea. Then you can take one with what I got.”
“Got it.”
At the end of the day, he's again trying the clothes he bought, and it's indeed different than usual, it makes him feel a little confident even.
His feelings were somewhat clear to him now, he knows they're different with Reiji than with anyone else.
It was also true that many things would change, when they stop seeing each other as often.
Even if he was able to take that to his grave… Reiji deserved to know. So he takes a deep breath, pressing the contact on top of his list.
“Ayumu? What is it?”
“Reiji. We need to talk. When are you free?”
“Eh? What is it?”
“It's the type of thing we need to talk about in person. And not in school, properly in private. When can you?”
“When am I free? Does Saturday work for you? I have club practice in the morning, but I'm free after that.”
“Yes, that works. I'll give you the details later.”
“Y-Yeah, thanks.”
—o—
"The coat might be too much, but I think the white shirt and pink pants are good. If you part your hair a little... There." He feels the warmth on his face as Ryota frees his hair from the curling tong. "What shoes do you have?"
"Those over there."
"Mh…You're going to be walking if you go to the park, so the shoes are good for that."
It finally seems to be done as Ryota laughs, pulling him towards the mirror when he’s done using everything from the outfit he prepared.
"What do you think?"
"Isn't this too flashy?"
"Isn't it fine? You're going to be doing something important. You have to look good, and maybe a different palette in your outfit can give you confidence."
“I… Guess. Thank you.”
“It’s nothing. And I’ll be hoping to have you as my model for some designs later, too?”
“Yes, of course.”
“Well, you better get going, then.”
Looking at the hour, he nods. He still had a while to meet Reiji, but he wanted to make sure to be there on time. Maybe even review the plan of the day if he had the time for it.
But when he arrives there, it doesn’t take long for Reiji to appear too, surprising him.
“Did I get the time wrong?”
“No, I wanted to be here early just in case… It seems you thought the same, uh, Ayumu?”
“Yeah… Well, at least we can get going now.”
“You bought the tickets online?”
“Yes, I have the code on my phone.”
“Okay. Seems we have to… Ah, there, we have to enter on this line.”
He’s quick to follow Reiji, and as they wait he’s unable to ignore the stares he kept giving him, until it was too much for Ayumu to finally ask.
“What? Does this look weird?”
“You look… Amazing, actually.”
And that was something that Reiji truly meant.
“...Thanks. I bought these clothes with Ryota.”
“I see. He really has good taste, it suits you.”
“Yeah, he's amazing. And… Thanks. You look good, too.”
“Of course! I put a lot of effort into my clothes for our date!”
“Date- I- Guess it is that…”
“Come on, let's go have fun, Ayumu!”
“Ah- Yes!”
It was easy to forget his worries when with Reiji. He made everything look effortlessly, but he was attentive to the details and how others perceived him. It felt like he could copy some of his personality traits when together, as everything felt a little easier.
Reiji was someone amazing. He was the type of person that made Ayumu comfortable to explore new things, in a way different from other of his friends. Reiji also provoked different emotions in him from the start, first annoyance, followed by awkwardness, then some certain fondness of each other, and whatever they have now.
It took him a while and enough talks with his friends to be able to understand what those feelings meant, but he’s been able to think of them and process them.
The timing was never right to bring it up, but it was true that things would change a lot as Reiji graduated. He had to do it, and get it done with.
Maybe that's why Ayumu can only feel dejected when the rain stops their fun.
They could still keep lining up for attractions, but until it stopped they were pausing some of the rides.
And as they don't have an umbrella, they have to seek cover.
“I'm sorry. I was nervous.”
“Well, you're a man of rain after all~ It's fine, we can at least talk a little while we wait for it to clear a little.”
“...Yes.”
Sighing as they sit in one of the benches with roofing, they admire for a little bit as everyone else seeks for cover, with others running around excited.
It makes him smile to imagine some others in their friend group, and he's about to tell so to Reiji when he notices him strangely quiet while staring at him, surprised about being caught.
“Reiji?”
“Hey, Ayumu.”
“Yes?”
“Did I… do something to anger you?”
“...Eh?”
“Because… You've been acting weird today.”
Now it was his turn to be surprised, looking at the other. He wasn't joking…
“I'm acting weird? No, you're the one acting weird!”
Reiji's confusion was obvious, he takes a few seconds to look at him, before finally talking again.
“You said you wanted to talk. Aren't you angry with me?”
“No? But you might get angry with me after I say what I wanted to, Reiji.”
“Ah? There's no way that'd happen. I'll… Respect whatever is going on, but I need to know it.”
“I… Okay.” Taking a deep breath, he tries to gather some courage, before turning to face the other, staring into Reiji’s light brown eyes. “I like you, Reiji. Not as just friends, I mean. And I do not say this to force you into replying to my feelings, you're in total position to reject them, I'm not that frail, I'll be okay even if you do, that's why I want to leave this clear and-”
His ramblings intensified as he noticed Reiji’s face changing, and he could've kept going, had it not been for his hand slightly grabbing his wrist to get his attention.
“Wait, Ayumu!”
“What?!”
“Weren’t we dating already?!”
“...Ah?!”
—o—
“And… That's it.”
Ryota's laughter would be offending in any other moment, but Ayumu can understand it's somewhat funny.
So, he lets his friend have it, while he takes another sip of his drink.
“So Reiji-san thought you two were dating already?”
“Yes. Since I gave him the pouch, before summer break.”
“Well… I guess I see from his side why it could seem like that. So he thought you were about to call off a relationship that you didn't know had started.”
“...Yes.”
“It's a story worth sharing. If Tsubaki-senpai asks you to write again, you might be able to use it for inspiration.”
“I- That’s- I’d rather not write about my own romantic experience…”
“You never know.”
They talk a little more about it, before they end up reading more of some short book they picked, until Ryota's phone rings, calling their attention.
“Well, I've gotta go. Kou and I are going to his house today, and he wanted to do something for the cooking club before we left, but he's about to finish.”
“I see. Let's talk later, then.”
“Yes. See you.”
As he waves to Ryota, he finishes his own reading before the scheduled time for him to leave as well, sending a text to Reiji to meet.
He's a little amused to see Reiji running out of the gym in a rush after that, as he had gone to tell something to their actual captain to help them for a practice match they were preparing for.
“Isn't it bad for the acting captain to leave early? You can stay, you know?”
“Well, I have to secure my uni exam! And I need to make up for the time we couldn't date before!”
Trying to ignore his heating face, he gets out his phone from his bag as they both walk towards the door.
“Where to, Ayumu?”
“A quiet cafe. We do need to study.”
“Eh~ Come on, relax a little~”
“You got offered a scholarship for sport if you choose this university. It also means you need good scores to get in, right?”
“You're not wrong, but my scores aren't bad.”
“It’s not bad to be cautious. Ryota and I found some exams from previous years that you can use as practice. There's some exercises I'm seeing in class too, so I want us to do them together and compare.”
“Hey, this is a date, not to talk about my grades or my entry exam for university!”
“I’d rather you're in a place closer to the train station. This one is, isn't it? It means you'll probably get a place close to it, too.”
“Y-Yeah.”
“That's… going to make it easier to visit, then. On weekends.”
Now it was Reiji's turn to be speechless, before turning to grin at him.
“Ayu-”
“Not a word about it.”
“Yes~ Ayumu. Here. Let's hold hands.”
“Ah… Um…”
“You can take your ti-”
He's done hearing that, so gathering all his courage, he puts his hand on top of Reiji's open one.
“Stop. Here you go. Hold it. I'll check a route for the cafe.”
“Haha, you got so red~”
“Reiji.”
“Sorry, sorry~”
All of his protests die on his lips as Reiji holds his hand properly, tightening the grip on it, making him blush every time he sees the other's face.
While he was saying all that, Reiji was truly giving him all the time he needed. Most they've done is hold hands like that.
It doesn't seem enough.
“Reiji.”
“Mh?”
Taking advantage of the other’s distraction, he pulls him closer, pressing his lips against Reiji’s cheek.
Ayumu can almost feel how his lips press against something getting more and more hot as the other understands what's going on, making him feel embarrassed this time.
When he pulls away, he's ready to go to the cafe, Reiji not following him.
“Hey, wait, Ayumu! I'm not made of stone, give me a moment!”
“Ah?! Come on, let's go. Before it starts to rain.”
“I wouldn't mind running in the rain holding hands~”
“And get sick?”
“Ah, that is a downside to it. Well, come on, let's go!”