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The holidays had come to miserable M7, and everyone who didn't have work was making the best of it. Andi had lit a little red candle in the bay window, and Frank's menorah sat patiently beside it. Gwen was charging in the living room. She'd borrowed an old sweater and tied a Christmas blankie around her waist as a skirt.
Andi and Frank were many beers deep into their conversation, happily slouching in their chairs, when the bunny clock struck midnight. Just as they noticed the time, Gwen emerged from the living room.
"Oh, Gwen! You're right on time," Andi said, raising her glass. "Merry Christmas!"
"You both need to go to bed immediately!" she squeaked, "it's Christmas Eve, Santa could come any minute!"
They both stared blankly. Andi started, "Gwen, we don't believe in-"
"Don't believe in Santa?" Gwen looked affronted by the tragedy.
"Yeah, we don't." Frank said. "Me especially, because I'm Jewish."
"You..? but, Andi…" Gwen hugged herself with her one arm, a strange fear in her eye.
"Uh, you good Gwen?" Andi asked.
She spasmed and yelped "happy Hannukah!"
"What's up with you?" Frankie asked her, and Gwen froze up again.
"Wait," Andi said. "She's such an old model. Do you think she wasn't programmed to deal with mixed faith households?"
Frankie grin-maced, muttering "oh god-"
"You both need to get to bed," Gwen interrupted. "Santa will-"
"I told you, I'm a Jew." Frank stopped her short. "What would even happen if I stay up?"
Gwen stood stock still, her eye darting back and forth between them. "Andi, you need to-"
Frank sat forward. "Don't dodge the question. What happens to Jews who stay up late on Christmas?"
Gwen locked up. "Andi… needs to…"
"Frankie, lay off, you're gonna break her-"
Frankie continued, now in a singsong voice. "You gotta tell the truth, Guinevere! Good kids don't keep secrets!"
Gwen was completely still. Slowly, blue tendrils slipped out of her sleeve and started whipping around her, even as she was frozen.
"Oh god-"
Andi sprung up, crying "okay all right, we'll go to bed! Come on Frank, it's so late, ahaha!"
The tendrils went slack and Gwen's smile returned to her face. She hummed a cheerful tune as she helped herd Frank to the bedroom, and wished them both goodnight and happy holidays.
They sat quietly in their beds for a while, but neither could sleep.
Frankie gulped. "Andi?"
"Yeah?"
"I… think I pissed myself a little."
"I. Don't blame you."
They both broke into incredulous giggles.
Worst Christmas Eve ever.