Archive of Our Own

The bass pounds against her skull. A constant thumping boxing her ears and making her feel like a fly trying to escape a window, slamming itself uselessly against glass it cannot see. Thump thump thump-

Niki doesn’t know the song that’s playing. It’s something fast-paced that made the crowd scream when it first started. She breathes in. Tastes the chemicals from the fog machine in the back of her throat. One minute before—Niki, being tossed side to side on the dance floor, the girls she came with looking like little more than blurred shapes under the flashing lights. The artificial fog filled the air, thick enough that Niki couldn’t see her own hand in front of her. Leaning into the space she knew one of the girls had been dancing at right before the fog, she shouted that she was going to get some air. She hadn’t been able to make out a reply before she left.

Now—icy air draws all the blood to her cheeks as she steps out of the club. The taste of chemicals is washed from her throat. She shuts her eyes. Lets her radiance unfurl into the open air.

Invisible to the eye, Niki has heard others try to describe it as something akin to an ‘aura’ or ‘life energy.’ Back inside, everyone’s radiance had been crowded together. As limbs curled around limbs, radiance would wrap around radiance, mingling and becoming indistinguishable from one another until the pair separated again. It suffocated Niki. Being packed between so many bodies and to have her radiance smothered by others at the same time. But no one else inside was bothered by it.

Most people could never feel their radiance. If they did, it was never a conscious realization. It manifested in subtler ways. A gut feeling. Eyes on the back of your neck. But for people like Niki, it was something more.

Dark pink strands soaked in sweat stick to Niki’s cheeks. She pushes them back with one hand. Sees her breath crystallize in the air. The bass still pounds through the door behind her while she watches the blurred lights of cars in front of her.

The door to the club opens again. She feels the person’s radiance curled up like her own, slowly unfurling into the open air. She waits for the footsteps to fade down the street as the person leaves the club behind. Instead though, the footsteps get louder.

Pink hair in the corner of her eye, several shades too light to be her own. His radiance looms over them both, and Niki doesn’t have to look over to know the man is much taller than she is. Her eyes stay fixed on the road, ears still ringing, not wanting to make small talk right now.

“Guess I’m not the only one who was suffocatin’ in there,” The man says. His voice is deep and heavy, like his radiance.

Niki only hums in response. The suffocating sensation returns as his radiance smothers hers just by proximity, and she starts to pull hers back.

Then, all at once, his radiance is gone. She blinks. Looks to her left before she can think about it. The man is still standing there, his head tilted back to the sky. A starless sky stares back.

His radiance has pulled itself back around his body. That’s odd. It shouldn’t be doing that. While a normal radiance reacts to the environment around the person it belongs to, it’s a free-flowing thing. It fills the spaces it's given. To pull a radiance back, to use a radiance to probe another’s, to manifest any kind of will over one’s radiance requires control. And to control a radiance, you need to be able to sense it. But the only people who can sense a radiance are-

Niki jerks her head so she’s facing the street again, her heart now pounding in time with the music. The cars speed past her eyes in bursts of light and color. Her own radiance tries to curl in on itself but she forces herself to loosen her grip. If she pulls it back, he’ll sense it. He’ll feel it like she feels his. And then he’ll know.

She focuses on her breath. The cloud in front of her face and not the man standing beside her. Urges every muscle in her body to relax. Lets her radiance unwind and fill the air despite her instincts telling her to pull it back as his begins to grow again.

As a child, Niki could sense her mother’s radiance almost as well as her own. She would wrap it around Niki’s own like an invisible blanket. It calmed Niki. Helped her breathe when her chest was tight. Warmed her when she was cold. She loved the way her mother’s radiance would curl between her fingers when she was showing Niki how to use her magic. Passing a single flame between their palms, her radiance would cup Niki’s hand, showing her how to hold the flame against her bare skin so it wouldn’t blow out.

Niki’s palms grow cold as the man’s radiance nudges against her own. Now that she’s focusing on it, she can feel a sharp edge to it. Her mind conjures up comparisons to the edge of a blade. She wraps her arms around herself, willing her radiance to ignore his and keep reaching out without a single direction in mind.

“I, uh, saw you back inside with your friends,” the man starts, his deep voice deceptively casual as his radiance continues pushing into hers. “Is that, um, that girl you were with- she’s good, yeah?”

It’s more difficult than Niki expects, stringing together a sentence while fighting the way her blood sings for her to let her radiance react to his. “She’s fine. She just slipped but she wasn’t hurt.”

“Good, good,” the guy mutters, shoving his hands in his pockets. Niki tries not to stare at him from the corner of her eye. He’s not looking in her direction either. “I kinda figured, since she knocked back a shot, like, right after.”

“I guess she didn’t want to let it go to waste,” Niki says as she sucks in a breath.

His radiance then presses against hers more purposefully than before. The force almost makes her stumble. Now she can feel his gaze on her. Testing her.

A voice in the back of her mind. Asking why she’s trying so hard to hide it. This man is like her. She could talk to him. Maybe he could introduce her to others. Maybe she wouldn’t have to be alone anymore.

But that would cement it, wouldn’t it? That she’s a magic user. Divided from the rest of the world. Different. Other.

Dangerous. A voice that isn’t her own echoes in her thoughts. A memory. Curled lips and fear in the eyes. No wonder to be had for the flame burning in her palm. Claimed to understand, but the discomfort was obvious. Discomfort turned to disgust. Disgust turned to threats. Had to flee. Move to a new city. Become a new person. Different hair. Different clothes. Attempting at a normalcy that’ll never come naturally to her. But she has to try. And try. And try.

So she ignores the radiance pressing against her own. She ignores the weight of his gaze. She is normal. She is not like him.

“I don’t usually come to these kinda places, so I don’t really get the appeal,” the guy continues. “It’s loud and hot and you can’t really see anything. Do people really just like drinking and dancin’ that much?”

Niki shrugs. Hopes her movement isn’t too stiff. “I couldn’t tell you. There’s a reason I’m out here and not inside.”

The guy huffs out something that could be a laugh. The pressure on her radiance starts to ease. “How’d you end up here then?”

“Some girls from work invited me. I don’t go out much, so I made myself say yes even though I didn’t really want to come,” Niki answers, too focused on her radiance to come up with a lie. Then, the instinct of trained smalltalk has her opening her mouth again before she can think twice. “What about you? Why are you here?”

“Friend of mine. It’s his birthday and this is where he wanted to go.”

Niki hums. “That’s nice of you.”

“Yeah, I really gotta stop that.”

“Being nice?”

“Yeah. Can’t let people’s expectations of you get too high. Always better to keep the bar low.”

The deadpan joke makes Niki smile. “Maybe that’s a lesson I should learn too.”

“Maybe. But then neither of us would be here havin’ this conversation, so…” the guy trails off. Sounding awkward. Unsure of where he was going with the sentence. His radiance seems to have followed suit, retreating from Niki’s once again and allowing her to take a proper breath.

Several seconds of silence. The guy watches her. Waits. One last chance.

Clenches her jaw. Refuses to look over. Her radiance reaches for invisible stars.

“I oughta be gettin’ back inside,” the guy finally says, stepping away from the curb. Disappointment in his voice. Is Niki imagining it? Maybe. Maybe not. “Have a nice night.”

“You too.” Her heart pounds in time with his retreating steps.

He’s leaving. Doesn’t know. Once he’s gone, she’ll be safe. Safe from what? From discovery. From finding others. Her attempts at normalcy will continue. And then where will she be? Evenings spent alone in her apartment. Using matches to light her candles despite no one being around to see her. Performing for an audience of none. As if she can perform enough that one day it won’t be a performance anymore.

Nausea rising in her throat. It will never work. She knows this. She’s known this. So why is she bothering?

His radiance follows him back to the door. He’s about to disappear. The first magic user she’s met in years. She won’t find him again in the crowd. This city is big. She might not ever see him again.

“Wait,” she calls out, turning away from the street.

One hand on the door. He freezes in place and looks her way. Their eyes finally meet.

Taking control of her radiance again. Letting it press against his just as it had been pressing against hers. It feels like taking a full breath for the first time in minutes. The chill leaves her bones. Warmth fills her lungs.

“I didn’t catch your name,” she says. Breathless.

He stares at her for a moment. His eyes widen. Radiance meeting the force of hers. Gentle pressure. Soothing in a way she hasn’t felt since she was a child.

“Techno,” he tells her. Trace of a smile on his lips.

Then, the door behind him opens. A group of girls pushes past him. Loudly chattering to one another. Glittery dresses and hair piled high. Takes Niki a moment to realize it’s the girls she came with.

“Niki! There you are!” One of them exclaims. And suddenly they’re crowding around her. Talking loudly about how they couldn’t find her and how worried they were. Niki almost feels bad. But she can’t tear her gaze away from Techno’s.

He seems frozen. Waiting by the door. Not going inside. Not approaching her. His eyes dart between the girls she’s with, no doubt feeling each radiance, wild and uncontrolled. Niki’s heart lurches into her throat.

“Hang on a minute,” Niki tells the others.

She extricates herself from the circle. Walks towards Techno with sharp, purposeful steps. Falters once she’s standing in front of him, not knowing what she intended to do. He’s even taller than she thought. Techno saves her the indecision.

“Here. It’s an address. Nice place to hang out, especially on Thursdays and Fridays.” He takes a small, folded paper from his pocket and presses it into her hand. His radiance has wrapped around himself again. Niki finds hers doing the same. Protection. From what, she’s not sure. “People like us tend to like it better than places like this,” he says, gesturing to the club behind him.

Niki’s breath catches. People like us. Being included in the other. For the first time, she finds she doesn’t mind it.

“Thank you,” Niki whispers. Wonders what he hears in her voice. Hope? Fear? A mix of both?

He nods. Then, he’s gone back inside. Niki sighs, her breath crystallizing in the air.

“Niki?” One of her coworkers, manicured hand resting on her shoulder. “Who was that guy? He wasn’t being weird to you, right?”

“He had pink hair,” another one says with obvious distaste. “What kind of guy has pink hair?”

A glance down at the paper in her hand. “Ew, he didn’t try to give you his number, did he?”

Fear threatening to close her throat. Niki curls her fingers around the paper and shoves it into her pocket before it can be taken from her. “No, nothing like that. We just… talked about books.” An innocent lie as any. “He gave me a recommendation.”

It’s enough to dispel suspicion. The others decide it’s time to go home, and Niki agrees immediately. Hugs and smiles are exchanged. Well wishes for the weekend and calls of, see you on Monday! are thrown out.

Niki takes the subway back. One hand on the handrail, the other gripping the paper in her pocket. Small voice in the back of her mind, telling her that if she lets go, the next time she reaches it’ll be gone.

As soon as she walks in the door of her apartment, she takes the paper out and unfolds it. The singular light in her foyer illuminates a blank piece of notebook paper. Whatever emotion had been burning in her chest dissipates into smoke. Did Techno lie? Or did he give her the wrong thing?

Her palms begin to warm. She doesn’t try to cool them. Tears blur her vision as flames spark against her skin. People like us. People like her. She’s still alone, that hasn’t changed. She knows better than to get her hopes up like this.

Except-

The paper doesn’t catch fire. Even as her hands are engulfed in flames, the paper stays intact. She frowns, tears receding. Holds the flame to the paper. Watches as glowing gold script slowly reveals itself.

An address and instructions on how to get inside. Niki laughs. She can’t remember the last time she did that.

Thursday.

Niki wonders if she’s made a mistake.

The door is nondescript. Almost looks like a side entrance for the bar next door. Numbers painted above it. Nothing else to tell her what lies beyond.

She pushes hair back from her face. Tried pulling it up but it didn’t look right. Still wasn’t sure if she liked how it looked down, but knew it was pointless to mess with it too much so she left it. Tried on too many outfits to count. How did other magic users dress? Did they have their own trends? Techno had worn relatively normal clothes, but she’d noticed a few gold necklaces around his neck. Her own ears now sit heavy with jewelry. It had been a while since she’d worn earrings in all of her piercings. They rattle every time she turns her head.

The door stares at her and she stares back. Looks to her right and sees a few people ambling into the bar. Looks to her left and sees more people walking past. No one spares her a second glance. Even still, she’s tempted to pull her hood up before she knocks. Just in case someone she knows rounds the corner.

She doesn’t. Instead, she lifts a trembling hand. Wraps her radiance tight around herself. Knocks four times, just like the note said.

Silence echoes back. Niki waits. Her palms heat up. What if this is the wrong place? The numbers on the door match the note, but what if she’s on the wrong street? At the wrong building? How will she explain what she’s doing there to whoever answers?

Her boots scuff against the pavement. She takes a step back. It’s not too late to go home. She can throw out Techno’s note and pretend she never met him. It would be easy.

She can’t bring herself to walk away. Soon, the door opens.

“Yo,” a guy wearing a Sonic shirt answers the door. “What’s up?”

Niki furrows her brows. “I’m here to see about a bird?” The phrase feels clunky on her tongue.

The guy doesn’t immediately react. Niki tenses. Ready to bolt.

Then, he grins and opens the door for her. “Come on in.”

The entryway is small. Nondescript. There’s a second door but the guy stands in front of it, arms folded across his chest. She senses his radiance reaching for hers. Expectant. This time, she doesn’t hesitate to let hers wrap around herself. It soothes the nerves eating away at her insides. When his own radiance feels this, he nods.

“Head on inside,” he says, stepping out of the way of the second door.

Niki wasn’t sure what she expected. A secret meeting room. Someone’s house. Stairs leading down to a dark basement. Instead, she finds herself walking into a surprisingly normal-looking pub.

The lights are dim and glow a soft orange. Hardwood floors squeak under her boots. Low music plays over a speaker—not the high energy music of the club, but something slower. More calm. She hears the clinking of glasses and indistinguishable conversation.

No one gives her a second glance as she makes her way towards the bar. She sees a group of three playing a game of hangman, but there’s no whiteboard or paper for them to draw on. Instead, one of the players has the hangman drawing suspended in midair, made out of glowing orange light. The drawing sparks with magic as the player sketches another limb onto the hanged man. The drawing itself reacts, the new limb on the stickman moving as the other players laugh.

Her eyes trail past to a couple engaged in conversation over some pints. One girl has flowers growing out of her skin and hair, vines curling around her wrist as she reaches for her glass. The other girl is speaking animatedly, hands moving all around. Horns stick out of her hair and glint in the light.

Another group of young men. One boy has a shot glass in his hand and throws it in the air. It stays suspended above his head, not spilling its contents. Niki walks by and feels a rush of wind. The boy is waving his hands below the shot glass. He must be creating that wind.

It’s like nothing Niki’s ever seen before. Magic being used so openly. So freely. It’s not until she reaches the bar that she realizes she hasn’t thought about her radiance at all, nor anyone else’s. Each radiance is either wrapped tightly around its user, or mingling with the others in its group. It’s a drastic difference to how distracting it can be to walk through a normal pub. To ignore everyone’s free flowing radiance brushing against your own.

The bartender is busy chatting with another person at the end of the bar, so Niki waits and observes the room. She searches for a flash of pink hair. Would Techno be there? He told her Thursday, and it’s Thursday. But was he saying that so they could meet? Or did he just want to let her know this place existed?

The idea of not seeing Techno again upsets her more than she expects. Their conversation had been brief. Most of their interactions had been done through radiance, not words. And Niki had spent most of that trying not to interact with Techno’s radiance. But still. He didn’t like loud, crowded places. He didn’t like to dance. He noticed her friend had slipped and asked if she was okay. He seemed… kind.

An unfamiliar radiance approaches, and she swears she can hear rustling feathers as it brushes against her own. Niki startles as a man leans against the bar beside her.

“You doing alright?” The guy asks. “You look a bit lost, mate.”

He looks a bit older than she is—somewhere in his thirties. Smiles at her, not in a creepy way, but in a way that puts her nerves at ease. She tries to smile back.

“Um, I’m alright. I’ve never been here before,” Niki finds herself telling him.

The guy’s smile widens. “Welcome then. Always nice to find more of us in this city. How’d you find out about this place?”

“I was told about it by someone I met recently,” Niki says. She glances around the pub again, still searching.

“Really? Who?”

“His name’s Techno. I don’t know his last name though.”

The guy’s expression changes. It’s subtle. A softening, of sorts. His smile is still there, but it feels… warmer. Niki hears the feathers rustle louder as his radiance pulls back to wrap around himself, reminding her of a pair of large, invisible wings.

“Ah. He mentioned you might be coming tonight.” Offers her a hand which she takes, surprised. “Name’s Phil. Techno stepped out for a minute but he’ll be back soon.”

Niki shakes his hand. Notices his palms are rough. Must often work with his hands. “Niki,” she says. “You know him?”

Phil cackles. Niki isn’t sure if she’s being mocked or not. “You could say that. We live together, actually.”

“Oh.” Roommates, or something else? Niki can’t tell by his tone. “So he told you about me?”

Phil nods. “Nothing much. Just that he met another magic user at a nightclub and passed you an invitation. Wasn’t sure if you were going to actually show though.”

Niki frowns. Wants to ask why. Before she can-

“PHIL!”

Another radiance slamming into both hers and Phil’s with a force that makes Niki flinch. Blonde curls and bright blue eyes barely acknowledge her as the boy launches into a spiel she struggles to comprehend. Something about nearly getting into a fight? A shorter boy with darker hair stands beside him. Occasionally interjecting to say that he tried to stop the taller one from starting the fight. His radiance far more subdued. Wrapped so tightly around himself, Niki can barely sense its existence.

Then, a familiar presence. She doesn’t have to look to see him settling next to her other side. She smiles, despite herself.

“You made it,” Techno says, his voice quiet compared to the blonde boy’s shouting. “And you found Phil.”

Niki huffs out a quiet laugh. “He found me, actually. But I was looking for you.”

She finally looks to her left. His hair is braided tonight. A pair of glasses sit on the bridge of his nose, and she thinks it suits him better than without. That steel-edged radiance doesn’t probe hers this time. It remains tightly coiled, as if in recompense for all the prodding it did the first night they met.

“You wanna, uh-” Techno gestures to a few booth tables lining the wall, and Niki nods, sparing a glance back at the loud boy still talking to Phil.

Techno leads her to a table. She slides in on one side, him on the other. Breathes a sigh of relief at being free of the pressure from the blonde boy’s radiance.

“I get it. Tommy’s a lot sometimes,” Techno says before Niki can even say anything. “He’s not very good at controlling it.”

Niki shakes her head. “It’s okay. It just took me by surprise.” She glances at the others again. “His name’s Tommy?”

“Yeah. He’s the reason I was at the club last week,” Techno says. “It was his birthday we were celebrating.”

“I can see why he likes going to places like that.”

“Which is exactly why I don’t like those places.” Techno huffs and meets Niki’s eyes across the table. “Do you like this place better, though?”

“I do,” Niki answers, no need to think. “I like it a lot more.”

“That’s good. It’d be kinda awkward if I went through all this cloak and dagger to invite you here and you ended up hatin’ it.”

Niki laughs softly. “No, I’m glad you invited me. Seriously.”

Techno nods. “I wasn’t sure if you were going to come.”

“Phil mentioned that,” Niki says. “Why did you think that?”

“Well-” Techno looks awkward now, his gaze moving away from Niki’s face. “You didn’t, uh, seem to want me to know you were a magic user. At least not at first.”

Niki’s smile fades. Something akin to shame creeps up the back of her neck. Her head tilts down. Hides her face behind her hair.

“That’s true. I’m sorry about that.”

“No need to be sorry,” Techno reassures her. “I’m curious as to why, of course. But I get if you don’t want to talk about it.”

Keeping her eyes on the table, Niki shrugs. “It’s not as though there’s anything to really talk about. I haven’t met another magic user like that before, so it scared me. That’s it.”

“Wait, what?”

Niki looks up again. Wide, dark eyes meet hers behind his glasses.

“What?”

“You haven’t met another magic user?” Techno asks.

Cheeks flushing, Niki shakes her head. “Not really. My mother was one, and she used to have some friends who were also like us, but I haven’t met any on my own.” She pauses. Twists her hands in her lap. “It’s been a long time since I’ve been around others.”

A confession. Nothing to confess, but a dirty secret all the same. Why is it a secret? Why is she ashamed? It’s not as if it’s her fault. But she sits here surrounded by magic. Across from Techno who is clearly familiar with this world. He’s been around others for a long time. She hasn’t. This upsets her for reasons she can’t quite name.

“Phil found me,” Techno says after a minute of silence. “I’d gone at it alone for most of my life too. Knew there were others out there, but still felt like I was the only one in the world. Then I met Phil and…” he trails off. Looks over to Phil who is rolling his eyes while Tommy shouts at him. “Things just worked.”

That unreadable tone. Same one Phil used. Niki raises an eyebrow.

“Um, can I ask-” Niki hesitates. Not wanting to pry. “Well, only if you want to tell me. But I- you and Phil-” Techno isn’t stopping her, so she forges on. “Are you together?”

A beat. Techno huffs. Cracks a grin at her. “Not in the way you think, but it’s not not what you think either. It’s kinda hard to explain.” Glances at Phil again. “We’re not, like, dating or anything. But he’s important to me. That’s the best way I can put it.”

Chest aching, Niki forces a smile. “That sounds nice. Having someone like that in your life.”

Techno shrugs. Tries to hide a smile. “Well, I drag him out of trouble nearly every week, so he owes me.” He pauses then. Fixes his gaze on hers once more. “What about you?”

For the first time this whole night, Niki feels Techno’s radiance nudge hers again.

“Me?” Niki tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. “I don’t- I’m alone, I guess I should say. Dating-wise and otherwise.”

His radiance curls around hers now. Slowly and without too much pressure. If she wanted, she could pull back and he would do the same. But she lets the energy wrap around hers.

“Do you prefer it that way?” Techno asks, his voice softer now. “Being alone?”

She thinks back to the night they met. How she was so focused on her radiance, she couldn’t bring herself to lie to him. Now, she lets her radiance press back into his. It barely takes any energy from her. No effort. It’s a natural instinct. Yet she still doesn’t want to lie.

“No,” she murmurs. “But it’s easier.”

“I used to think that too. And to be honest, it’s still true. It’s easier not havin’ to worry about anyone but yourself. Makes it easier to hide, too.” He shrugs. “Still, I’m glad I’m not on my own anymore.”

Niki stares at the table. Traces the whorls in the wood with her eyes. Doesn’t know how to respond to that. Isn’t sure she should try.

“It’s up to you, but if you want it, you don’t have to be alone anymore either,” Techno continues when she doesn’t say anything. “You know where this place is now, and it’s not going anywhere.”

Easier, but not better. Loneliness is a monstrous thing. Niki never wanted this. To be the kind of person who finds solace in isolation. Her apartment akin to a tomb. Plain walls. Hard floors. Matches she doesn’t need. Only allowing candle flames to burn and nothing greater. Can’t trust herself with fire like that. Emotions get the better of her too easily. Especially these days, with her anger and her bitterness. Every candle flame doubling in size whenever she thinks back too far. No use dwelling on the past. Still too easy to get sucked in anyway.

She wasn’t alone, and then she trusted someone she shouldn’t have. Now, an opportunity to trust again. But a different kind of trust this time. Not begging an outsider to understand. No. These people already understand.

She meets Techno’s eyes again. This is their first full conversation. Yet she knows deep in her bones that he understands her better than anyone she’s ever met before.

Her radiance intertwines with his, so close that anyone else would have trouble distinguishing which one is which.

“And you?” Niki asks, her voice surprisingly steady. “Are you going anywhere?”

Techno almost laughs. His radiance doesn’t pull back. Not in the slightest.

“Wasn’t planning on it, no.”

Niki uncurls her fingers from the fists she’d made in her lap.

“Good,” she breathes, ache in her chest finally dissipating. “That’s good.”

Niki visits the pub every weekend. Meets more of Techno and Phil’s friends. Finds herself slotting into place in their group without any effort at all, like she was meant to be there all along.

Then, Techno invites her to his apartment for dinner. Promises her that Phil will be out, even though she reassures him she wouldn’t mind his company. The food is simple, but Techno actually cooks, which is a wonderful reprieve from Niki’s steady diet of frozen microwave meals. Then they sit on Techno’s couch and Niki reads aloud from a book she spotted on Techno’s shelf. Techno’s eyes shut, and Niki finds herself staring more than she should.

One dinner turns to two, then to four and five until Niki is spending more time at Techno’s apartment than the pub. It’s a simple routine. They eat. Then they sit on Techno’s couch and sometimes they talk, but more often Niki reads out loud, or Techno reads out loud, or they both read different books side by side in a peaceful quiet.

Niki witnesses Techno’s magic several times before she realizes what it is. It’s a subtle kind of magic. Chopping up carrots for a stew, the knife slips and just barely misses Techno’s fingers. Oil sizzles on a pan and the droplets splash everywhere but Techno’s skin. When Niki accidentally pushes a glass off the table, Techno just so happens to be standing at the exact right place at the exact right time to catch it before it can hit the ground.

Techno calls it good reflexes. Niki thinks it’s something more like luck.

Niki doesn’t show Techno her flames. Even as weeks turn to months and she spends more time with Techno than in her own home, she keeps her palms cool and her fire deep inside her chest. She waits for him to ask. Knows he must be wondering what she can do. But he doesn’t push.

He doesn’t ask why she moved to this city. What her life was like before. Not for lack of curiosity, Niki can tell. She catches him watching her, sometimes. When she’s reading a book she’ll glance up and find his eyes fixed on her face, all his questions burning behind a pair of glass lenses. But he never puts a voice to them. Waiting for her to offer it.

Leaving the pub one night, they find the streets darker than they’ve ever seen them. The orange glow of the streetlamps is nowhere to be seen. Niki hasn’t seen that many stars in the sky since she was a child.

Major power outage, a patron of the neighboring bar tells them. Half the city has gone black. No telling how long it’ll take to fix it.

The trains aren’t running because of the outage, and it’s too far for Techno to walk back to his place. Niki’s apartment is closer. She finds herself offering without a second thought. Not until they reach her front step does she realize Techno’s never been to hers before.

They walk up the stairwell together. Niki’s hand finds Techno’s in the dark, murmuring something about using him for balance. He doesn’t call out the lie, fingers only squeezing hers in return.

Opening the front door, hands still intertwined. Niki disentangles herself in the foyer. Kicks off her shoes. Gestures for Techno to do the same. Moonlight streams in through her windows, casting pale stripes along the floor.

“Look for candles,” Niki tells Techno as she feels for the couch. “I have a lot of them scattered around.”

“Here,” Techno quickly says, grabbing one off the top of her bookshelf. “Where’s your matches?”

Niki’s chest squeezes. Grateful it’s too dark for Techno to see her face. “In one of the drawers, I think.”

She gathers the rest of the candles while he finds the matches. The cardboard box rattles as he sets it down in front of her. Rattles far too much for there to be more than a handful of matches left. Opening it confirms it's worse than she thinks. Two singular matches sit in the box. Nothing else.

“We can use those to light a few of the candles, then we can probably use tissue or something to light the rest,” Techno points out.

Niki nods. Her hands shake as she takes the first match out. This is all a charade. An act for a man she doesn’t need to act in front of. But she considers putting down the match and letting her fingertips burn. Imagines Techno’s face when he realizes her magic isn’t like this. There’s no subtlety to it. It doesn’t help her. It eats away at her. Eats away at whatever she lights. Like the gnawing in her chest, her flames take and take and take until all its fuel is spent and the flame is forced to burn out.

She strikes the match against the side of the box. Her hands are shaking too badly. The match snaps in half.

Niki curses and tries to light the remaining half of the match, but it’s too short to get a proper grip on. Sighing, she tosses it in the trash. Picks up the remaining match. One chance left.

But one chance to what? Her gaze finds the moonlight reflecting against Techno’s glasses. One of the few people in her life she doesn’t have to hide from. And yet she’s still hiding and doesn’t even know why. Easier to keep it that way. Better than to take the risk and ruin this. Whatever this is.

Still. Niki can’t bring herself to strike the match.

“Uh, Niki?” Techno says after a beat. “You okay?”

A decision. Giving into an impulse she’d long since suppressed.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Niki tosses the remaining match into the trash.

Techno blinks. “Um, don’t we need that? Unless you wanna just hang out in the dark which, like, it’s your house, so if that’s what you want-”

“It’s fine.” Niki takes a breath. Her radiance has wrapped around herself as tightly as it can. Bracing her. Preparing her.

Snap of her fingers. Flames light, as easy as taking a breath. Avoids meeting Techno’s eyes as she lights the candles one by one.

“Oh.” She hears Techno say. “Guess we didn’t need the matches.”

Candlelight fills the room. Niki’s heart pounds as she moves the candles around the space. Techno stays still, watching her. Only when the room is filled with light does she turn to look at him again.

There’s no fear in his eyes. No discomfort. Niki lets out a breath.

“Would you like to sit down?” She offers.

On the couch, there’s only a few inches of space between them. Niki is silent, staring at her cool hands, having extinguished her fingertips after the candles were lit.

“So,” Techno starts, and Niki tenses. An involuntary movement. Instinct borne out of anticipation.

Techno notices. Pauses. His radiance prods hers. Is this okay?

Niki nods. Lets her radiance curl around his. Forces her shoulders to relax. It’s okay.

“Flames, huh?” Techno continues as if there was no interruption. “Pretty cool, gotta say.”

Bitter laughter. “You’d think, wouldn’t you?” She focuses her gaze on her lap.

“I think it’s cool. Powerful, too.” Techno clears his throat and looks at one of the candles on the coffee table. “But I’m guessin’ not everyone thinks that?”

“No, other people don’t always think that,” Niki tells him. “It’s why I had to move here. The last person I showed got scared and threatened to tell everyone we knew.”

“Were they-” Techno hesitates. “Like us?”

Niki shakes her head. “No. But I thought I could-” she cuts herself off. Frowns at her lap. “I didn’t want to make that mistake again.”

“Well, for what it’s worth, it doesn’t scare me,” Techno tells her, his voice soft. From the corner of her eye she sees one of his hands start to reach towards her, only to pull back, as if unsure if he should. However, she feels his radiance wrap tightly around her own, and she finds herself leaning into it. Into him.

“But fire is dangerous,” Niki tries to protest, even as she lets herself be pulled towards him. A moth to a flame. Except she doesn’t know which is the moth, and which is the flame. “Sometimes my emotions- my anger gets the better of me. I’ve almost burnt down buildings before.”

Techno sees Niki drawing towards him. He shifts closer and reaches out his hand again, not pulling back. “Still doesn’t scare me.”

Niki stares at the offered hand for a moment, then watches flames bloom in her palms again. “Even now?” She holds one of her burning hands out to his.

To her surprise, he takes the hand without hesitation. Niki extinguishes the flames before they can touch his skin.

“Even now,” he says, giving her a small smile.

His palm—cool and dry against her own. Even without the fire, her skin is still burning hot from its remnants. Techno laces their fingers together and Niki’s heart jumps into her throat.

The flame still burns in her other hand. Looks between it and Techno. “Do you trust me?”

Squeezing her fingers- “I do.”

He doesn’t flinch when she brings the flames up to his face. Doesn’t pull back. Doesn’t try to get away. Just watches her. Calm. Trusting.

She lets the flames go out as she brushes her fingers against his jaw. Her fire-warmed skin turns his red. In return, Techno uses his free hand to tuck a strand of pink hair behind her ear. A shiver runs down her spine. Her gaze falls to his lips. Knows he won’t push. Will wait for her to make the move when she’s ready.

Niki decides she’s ready. She kisses him.

Warm lips against cool ones. One of Techno’s hands threads through her hair, the other rests on her waist. She cradles his jaw. Feels her fingertips warm as they press against his skin. He leans into her touch. She presses further against him.

The candle flames burn brighter. Their radiances intertwine until she can’t tell them apart. For once, Niki isn’t afraid. She isn’t trying to be normal. Doesn’t need to perform for anyone.

Niki smiles into the kiss, and feels Techno smile back. She’s not alone. Not anymore.