Chapter Text
December 24, 2025 | Christmas Eve
Christmas has never been the best for Hanni. Holidays, in general, are what she hates the most. These days never gave her any joy; there's no jolly spirit in her.
Now, she's twenty-eight, a journalist writing articles about how to celebrate Christmas the best way possible, even when she doesn't have any plans on doing so.
"I need a smoke." She mutters as the bright glow from her laptop slowly disappears as she folds it closed, the screen light vanishing, and darkness fully envelops her dark apartment.
She lights a cigarette whilst she looks out of the balcony, wearing a spaghetti strap despite the freezing temperature. Hanni does it on purpose; she's well aware that she's purposely putting herself through the cold breeze because it hurts — better than cutting herself, I guess?
Ever since she was a kid, Hanni and her parents have never celebrated Christmas like it's the best thing in the world. She never got to experience receiving a huge present under a big Christmas tree; she got to experience the thrill of guessing what her mom and dad had gotten for her.
Birthdays never excited her either, not that her parents bothered to give her a grand one anyway. Just a cake and one minute of singing was all they could give her before she moved out and never celebrated her birthday.
As she got older, she carried that soulless holiday spirit in her. All she would do is work, and if they said that they could have the day off because it's the holiday, she would lie on her bed, covered in thick blankets until she struggles to breathe, and sleep throughout Christmas Eve, up until the main event.
In fact, she doesn't even celebrate New Year's.
Her life might sound depressing — Well, it really is. But to her, it's nothing; it's normal. Christmas is just a regular day for her, just like her birthday.
She has no interest in wasting money for people who do not care whether she lives or dies — she's utterly alone during every holiday — her parents are way too busy pretending they don't have a daughter and don't even bother to call unless they need money.
To hell with all of that, she does not care — it does not pain her.
Because she got to celebrate Christmas at least once in her life, and to her, that's enough. She can go on with the rest of her life after being able to savor one day of pure bliss.
And it was with the best people she had during that time, people she loved with all her heart, just for one day in 2012.
December 22, 2012
"I'm sorry, Minji, we can't pick you up."
"What? Are you kidding me?"
"We did tell you a month ago that we won't be able to. Your mom and I have a business trip, and we already left two days ago—"
"She's not my mom." Minji bellows, her grip on her phone tightening as she clenches her jaw. She's holding back tears that are threatening to fall any second now.
Kim Minji hates it every time her father calls his girlfriend her "mother." Because she's not, she never will be. It baffles the fifteen-year-old that her father can easily forget her real mother, his first wife and love. It has only been a year since her death. How can her father already love someone else?
"Minji, she's trying her best."
With only the last shaky inhale, Minji replies, "She will never be mom."
Then she ends the call without saying goodbye, throwing her phone on the bed, frustrated.
"Welcome to the holdovers club, Minji unnie." Lee Hyein says in a playful, teasing tone that makes the older one shoot a glare at her. Though she lets her be, putting both her knees up on her chest as she sits carefree on her bed. "It's not that bad here during Christmas. They actually give you free food, I mean, they always do, but you don't have to share it with thousands of kids."
"I don't care about free food. I don't want to spend the holidays with you, prick." Minji spits out every word, laced with anger, but it does not affect Hyein in the slightest — because she's been through this before, she only sees herself in Minji.
"You really hate me that much, unnie?" Hyein pouts, tilting her head as she continues to press her classmate's buttons.
Minji scrunches her nose, eye narrowing as she despises the way Hyein tries to act cute. "Yes. I hate you, and I hate this school even more for making you my roommate."
"Welp, it's a boarding school. You'll get roommates. You won't be able to choose who you want since you're not the principal's daughter." Hyein plainly replies, jumping off her bed as if this is the most natural thing to her, as if she's at home. "Wanna come with me? I'm gonna go check who else is staying this Christmas."
Minji crosses her arms and raises an eyebrow. "How are you going to do that? Just barge into every dorm room and check if someone is in there?"
"No, duh." Hyein rolls her eyes and twists the doorknob, "Everyone will eventually be at the dining hall. Miss Lee Jieun will be there too, anyway; she's always here during Christmas."
"Ugh, great." Minji groans, looking at her packed luggage, thinking she was going to be picked up and maybe dropped off at her sickly grandmother's — of course, her mother's side — and will be able to visit her real mother's grave. "I have to spend the holidays with Professor Lee?"
Hyein hums, "Yep."
A minute after Hyein leaves their shared room, Minji stands still like a statue. Should she follow her out there? Go to the dining hall, and check if she's not completely alone with Professor Lee and Hyein, and have to deal with their insufferable energy?
Or should she just lock herself up in their dorm, rot in her bed, not eat, not see the sun, not shower — Ew. Yeah, no, she needs to go out. Besides, it's not like Professor Lee would let her stay here anyway; she will probably give her school tasks.
Who knows? She might meet someone who's bearable in this stupid school.
Minji grumbles nonsense before she walks to the door with a heavy grudge and leaves, already sensing the presence of Professor Lee, whom she believes hates her. She never gives her a perfect score, no matter what she does. What is her problem?!
"Speak of the devil…" She murmurs under her breath as she spots Professor Lee Jieun, sitting on the end of the right side of the large table with a smile as she speaks to Hyein, like it's just a regular day for them — rather, like they're at home.
With a blink of an eye, the professor spots Minji and waves her hand. "Kim Minji! There you are, I've been waiting for you." She says with a bright smile, Minji wishes she did not have to see the whole holiday break. "Your parents have informed me beforehand that they won't be able to pick you up I assume that they already told you?"
"Yeah. My dad just called." Minji says monotonously.
"Come over here, take a seat. We'll be serving breakfast now." She beckons for the girl to sit next to Hyein, and it makes Minji groan.
Minji watches as more students, who have parents who care about them, leave the school with their faces beaming and luggage in hand. Some are a group of friends leaving with stylish outfits, finally being able to wear them after having to wear a uniform that makes them look like they're lifeless students.
She feels a tap on her shoulder, making her snap out of her trance. "Minji-sshi? Are you not getting picked up?" The familiar voice speaks as Minji turns around to face her — Kim Minjeong. "I was going to ask if you'd want to hang out before New Year's since we live near."
Minji's lip forms a thin line, and she shakes her head. "Nope. Some kind of parents they are," She sighs, and it makes the older girl give her a light pat on her shoulder. "And still, if I were picked up, I won't be able to hang out. I'd be over my grandma's in Chuncheon. Besides, I'd just be a third wheel to you and Jimin."
Minjeong chuckles, nodding. "Ah, Yu Jimin wants you there, too. And you won't be a third wheel, we're not even dating — she doesn't like me back."
"Keep telling yourself that." Minji playfully rolls her eyes.
"Yeah, yeah. I wish." Minjeong's laugh dies down, a soft and empathetic smile forming on her lips as she looks at the younger one. "I'm one call away if you need to talk to someone, okay?"
They aren't the closest friends, but Minji knows that Minjeong is someone to be trusted. She's the sweetest to everyone, well, the most to Jimin, but she always feels safe with her unnie. Minji's glad to have a friend like her, though it deeply saddens her that her favorite seniors and only friends will be graduating high school this year. "I wouldn't want to bother you during Christmas."
"You won't, promise." She replies with a heartfelt chuckle, giving her friend one last pat. "Alright, I'll be going now, okay? I'm sure it's not that bad here. The new girl's staying here this holiday too."
Minji raises an eyebrow. "Oh? Okay, I don't know what to do with that information. But sure, I guess."
Minjeong laughs and gives her a knowing look before exchanging waves of goodbye, leaving the school as she gets picked up by her father.
Minji has no idea what that look was for. Does she think the new girl is interested in her? Or vice versa? Either way, she has not even seen what the new girl looks like; she's too busy in her own world of playing games and wishing she had a different life.
"Hey, Minji unnie! Come on!" Hyein shouts, a leg resting on Minji's seat, to which she gets scolded by Professor Lee, telling her to put it down.
What catches her eye is a girl who's sitting over the other end of Minji's seat. Her long black hair stands out. From her view, it's silky and smooth; her bangs are straight and neat. Her face is unfamiliar — she must be the new girl Minjeong was talking about.
Hesitantly, Minji walks over to them, taking a seat next to Hyein. "There are three of us." She mumbles.
"Clearly." Hyein takes a drink of water, earning a side eye from Minji.
"There are two more, I believe." Professor Lee gets up from her seat, patting down her plaid skirt, a teacher's uniform. "I'll go pick them up, their dorms aren't so far from here. You three stay here, breakfast will be served soon."
"We know…" Minji grumbles under her breath, crossing both her arms.
As Professor Lee leaves the dining hall, off to the other two holdover students' separate dorms, Minji stares at the new girl whose eyes do not meet hers. "Why are you staring?" The girl asks, and her voice is shaky, but still not looking at Minji.
"Sorry," Minji shifts in her seat. "I haven't seen you here before."
"Transferee."
"Sorry?"
"She's the transferee, the new girl. I told you about her two days ago." Hyein answers instead, hand gestures here and there.
"I can answer for myself."
Both Minji and Hyein look at the girl, whose eyes finally meet Minji's, not expecting her to have such a tone. It makes the two go silent, a small nod from Minji. "Right. Go on, please."
"I'm Hanni. Hanni Pham."
"Kim Minji."
Minji turns to Hyein, expecting her to introduce herself. "Oh, she already knows me, I already know her. You know, that kind of stuff." She explains, resting both her hands on the table, her head lying on her arms as she stares at the two.
The oldest gives her a light nod, and once again, silence between the three. Slowly, fewer students fill the school.
A student and Hyein's friends, Ning Yizhuo and Aeri Uchinaga, bid goodbye to her as the two link arms, giggling because they're finally reaching freedom from the school, and Hyein keeps her smile as she watches the two vanish.
She looks normal, perfectly fine, and laid back. But Minji and Hanni can tell there's a hint of pain and envy behind her eyes.
Hyein, despite being the youngest, has been in this school the longest. Starting from middle school, she has been here. Other than that, one thing a lot of the students and teachers know is that she has been spending the winter in this school.
Ever since eighth grade.
Her cheerful demeanor hides the fact that Lee Hyein believes and feels like she is the loneliest person in this school. Having to sit for hours and listen to a teacher talk about something she has no interest in is the worst; it's a snoozefest for Hyein. However, she'd much prefer that than having to stay home — thank god her parents signed her up for boarding school.
The first time she went home for the holiday break during seventh grade, it gave her the motivation to not go back home anymore. Her parents, instead of serving food and throwing or hosting a party with all their friends, would argue the entire day.
It was a painful sight; she couldn't bear it any longer. So ever since eighth grade, Hyein has always requested to stay at school — she practically memorizes every inch of this academy.
Most teachers would hate it, because there should at least be one professor to stay over to supervise the holdover students. Professor Lee Jieun, however, does not mind. In fact, she volunteered to be the one to stay over starting seventh grade, and ever since she met Hyein, the two have been like mother and daughter.
"Soooo…" Hyein starts, fiddling with her fingers. "Wanna get to know each other?"
Hanni remains still. "Um, sure."
"No, thanks." Minji rests her chin on her palm.
"Aw, come on! We can't just sit here in silence— Oh! There they are!"
Hanni turns, and Minji looks over her to see Professor Lee walking with two other students. One oddly resembles a cat, quiet and reserved, yet with eyes so sharp. The other one looks like the sun gave birth to her — the epitome of sunshine, as her smile could blind anyone.
"Everyone, this is Kang Haerin and Mo Jihye." Professor Lee introduces, gesturing for the two to take a seat on an empty chair.
"Or just Danielle. Or Dani. Whatever you guys like." Danielle beams, and Minji swears she feels a headache forming already. She seems like she's going to be a handful — extroverts always are, and she wishes Kang Haerin weren't. Because if she gets another person whose energy is the same or more than Hyein's, she'll drop dead.
Haerin does not utter a word; instead, she takes a seat beside Hanni, who is equally silent as her. Though in Minji's eyes, Haerin seems more naturally reserved, Hanni just looks sick and tired of her life. Well, that's something Minji can relate to.
A man, whom the kids assume is a staff member, comes out of the kitchen with two platters in his hands. He places them in the middle of the table, a small apologetic smile on his face as he awkwardly scratches the back of his head.
"This is the cafeteria manager, Park Bogum." Professor Lee introduces him as he shyly gives them a wave.
The first platter: a toast for each and one of them. The second platter: fried eggs for each and of them, too — all sunnyside up.
Before Minji could react to the depressing sight, Bogum went to get the girls a plate for all of them. "Would you girls want some rice too?" He asks, wiping off sweat that's on his forehead, nerves taking over him even when these are fifteen to fourteen-year-old kids.
The girls slowly shake their heads as they stare at the food in front of them. What were they expecting? A grand feast? All of the staff, except for some security guards, are left in here; they are not going to get food that fills the entire table.
"Is this what we're going to eat?" Minji asks, an eyebrow raised the second she saw the food served. She may be having issues with her father, but right now, she wishes they had just brought her with them on their business trip.
Hyein hums and reaches for the chopsticks handed out by the cafeteria manager. "Yup. Eat up, they're good."
Minji watches as the others start to get their own respective plates, utensils, and food. She stares at them for a second. Haerin looks like she doesn't mind, Hyein is totally used to this, Danielle accepts everything with a bright smile, Hanni… Hanni does not look like she wants to eat, not because the food looks bad, but because she simply does not want to.
"Hanni, are you not going to eat?" Minji asks curiously.
"I could ask the same," Hanni replies plainly.
Minji purses her lips and reaches to get a toast, an egg too, of course. "I am, I was just waiting for you to get one first."
Eventually, Hanni goes to grab some food for herself after Minji.