Work Text:
A GIFT FOR RAFAEL
The Christmas season was beginning to be felt all around the city.
It had even reached the station, thanks to Amanda Rollins, who had suggested organizing a holiday gift exchange. Everything was going as usual, like every year.
Easy, everyone thought.
They all imagined boxes of chocolates, a bottle of wine, or anything they could buy at the last minute.
Until Amanda made that creative—and annoying—proposal.
“It’d be better if everyone makes the gift for their Secret Santa.”
No one said a word. They exchanged uneasy glances.
“What…?” Liv bit her lip.
“Come on, it’ll be fun—like when we were kids making cards.”
Everyone picked a slip of paper with the name of the person they’d be giving a gift to.
“Rafael Barba” was the name Olivia had drawn.
At that exact moment, the ADA was walking into the station. Olivia followed him with her eyes.
Amanda noticed immediately; her friend blushed slightly.
“No trades, Liv,” she said, her tone playful.
“I know,” Liv replied with a smile.
Later that night, Olivia was in her apartment preparing dinner for Noah. As she stirred the sauce in the pan, she thought:
What do you give a man who has everything?
She glanced at the calendar on the kitchen wall and began counting the days on her fingers. She only had one week to solve that little problem.
Rafael.
“Mom! The macaroni’s burning!” Noah said, alarmed.
“Oh! It’s okay, sweetheart,” Olivia said, lowering the heat to save the macaroni.
“I’m sorry, honey,” she added, seeing that half of dinner was ruined.
Noah just laughed.
“Mom, will you take me to see Santa tomorrow?” Noah asked as he tasted the macaroni and wondered if they could buy gifts for Jesse and Aunt Amanda.
“Yes, sweetheart.”
Gifts. A word that was starting to carry Rafael’s name in her mind.
_______
The following afternoon, Olivia could be seen with Noah at a shopping mall on Fifth Avenue, at Amanda’s suggestion—she claimed it had the best Santa Claus in the city.
As soon as they entered the mall, the cold disappeared. The bustle of people around them created a sense of warmth and joy.
The mall was the perfect place to find inspiration for a gift. At least Noah seemed to think so—maybe he could help her.
She needed male input, even if Noah was still very young.
“Mom, look at that train!”
“Mom, let’s go over there,” the boy said, pointing at every colorful display window, pulling his mother by the hand from one place to another.
“Wait, Noah, we’ll go in a minute.”
The boy let go of Liv’s hand.
“Noah!”
Olivia’s heels echoed as she ran after him. Noah darted through the crowd at full speed.
Until, without realizing it, he crashed into someone wearing a black coat.
“Ahh!” Noah raised his right hand and began rubbing his forehead, on the verge of tears.
The person Noah had bumped into turned around at the impact.
“I—” Rafael’s words hung in the air. As he turned, he saw the small person he’d collided with and quickly crouched down.
Noah recognized him immediately.
“Uncle Rafa!”
Olivia’s heart began to race when she saw her son hugging a stranger.
“Noah!” Liv could barely breathe.
“Olivia!” Rafael said, lifting his gaze while still crouched.
As soon as she recognized him, she felt relieved.
“Thank you— I’m sorry.”
Olivia also crouched down to pick up Noah, and for a brief moment, their eyes met.
“Mom,” the boy interrupted.
Olivia quickly lifted Noah into her arms.
An older woman in a red coat standing beside Rafael smiled and cleared her throat.
“Oh, Olivia… let me introduce you to my mother,” Rafael said, his voice serious.
“Lucía Barba,” the woman introduced herself.
“Olivia Benson,” Liv replied with a smile.
“Oh, Benson! You drive my son crazy. You’re prettier than he told me.”
“Mom, you’re embarrassing me,” Rafael muttered under his breath.
Olivia just blushed, turning to look at Rafael.
“I’m Noah,” he said with a smile, stretching out his arms to give the older woman a kiss.
“What a charming boy!”
“Rafael, I’m sorry for interrupting. We should go—thank you for helping with Noah,” Olivia said, making small polite gestures, searching for the perfect excuse to leave.
Noah waved goodbye.
Rafael clenched his fists and reached out to take his mother by the arm, when Lucía interrupted.
“Why don’t you join us?” she suggested with a smile.
“Well, we—”
“It wouldn’t hurt to have some help shopping for gifts. My son is the most boring person when it comes to choosing presents,” Lucía insisted, her gaze fixed on Olivia.
Olivia turned to look at Rafael.
“What do you think, Liv?”
“Yes, Mom, let’s go!” Noah tugged at Liv’s coat.
All eyes were on her. Olivia preferred the ordinary routine she had planned for the day.
There was a moment of silence.
“All right,” she sighed.
Soon, Lucía could be seen walking through the mall alongside Rafael, Noah, and Olivia.
They visited several stores, helping Lucía choose the perfect gifts for her large family. Lucía linked her arm with Olivia’s, refusing to let go. She constantly asked Olivia about what her son was like at work and occasionally praised his qualities. Liv responded only with kind words and, at times, a slight blush.
Olivia noticed how Rafael looked away for a brief moment before smiling.
Rafael took a deep breath as he heard Olivia praising him in front of his mother, choosing to keep a certain distance so as not to hear.
The two women seemed to get along very well. Lucía thought this was exactly what she had always wanted for her son—and for herself.
Rafael, meanwhile, simply watched and smiled. It had been a long time since he’d seen his mother like this. And this side of Olivia, one he didn’t know, seemed to please him.
Noah, for his part, couldn’t stop making witty and amusing comments to Rafael.
______
Soon, they arrived at a fabric store.
“I’m sorry, Liv—my mom is unstoppable.”
“Mom, no,” Rafael said.
“Relax, sweetheart, I’m only buying a few skeins of yarn.”
“Liv, come with me,” Lucía said.
The fabric store wasn’t very appealing to Noah—Rafael knew that, since he’d been forced to endure the same experience every time his mother felt inspired.
Curious, Noah asked Rafael if they could walk around the store. He agreed.
For a moment, the boy seemed entertained by the fabrics, yarn, and buttons.
Until they reached a section of the store where there were patterns for making stuffed animals.
“Uncle Rafa, what’s that? Is it a bear puzzle?”
Rafael picked it up and smiled, memories of his childhood—now long gone—coming back to him.
Soon, Liv and Lucía appeared in the aisle, carrying a basket full of yarn and other fabrics.
“Look, Mom! A bear puzzle,” Noah said, holding the packet out to Liv.
“I remember you had one, Rafa, when you were a child,” Lucía commented.
“Yes,” he said softly, nostalgia in his voice as he sighed.
“Do you still have it, Uncle Rafa? I have my Eddie. What was your bear’s name?”
“No,” Rafael said gently.
“His bear got lost at the park, sweetheart. I still remember—he cried for a whole month.” “I’m sorry, Uncle Rafa. When you come to my house, I can lend you my Eddie,” Noah said, hugging Rafael around the waist.
“Right, Mom? Uncle Rafa can come over and play, and Grandma Lucía too.”
“Yes, love,” Liv said, smiling at Noah as she caressed his face, blushing slightly.
Suddenly, Lucía’s phone vibrated inside her coat. She stepped away to take the call.
Meanwhile, Liv watched as Rafael, with his free hand, still held onto the packet with the teddy bear pattern.
“Sweetheart, we have to go—Aunt Magda just arrived from the airport,” Lucía said, clearly stressed.
“Olivia, I’m so sorry. You can come with us.”
“I’m sorry, we still need to take the photo with Santa Claus.”
They said goodbye outside the store. Rafael thanked Liv for accompanying his mother on her Christmas shopping.
Soon, it was just Liv and Noah left in the mall.
They lined up for the photo with Santa Claus. While they waited, Liv watched her son’s smile.
She thought of Rafael as a child—just imagining it stirred something warm inside her. At the precinct, he never let himself be seen that way.
Noah took the photo, smiling happily, just like every year.
Meanwhile, Liv thought that maybe she could bring that same smile back to a certain prosecutor’s face—even if only for a brief moment.
She had an idea for the perfect gift, though she wasn’t sure if the plan would work.
Before heading home, she decided to stop by the fabric store again. On the shelf, that same teddy bear pattern was still there.
She held it in her hands and smiled.
“Mom, is it for Uncle Rafa?”
“Yes.”
Noah smiled.
_______
Later, after putting Noah to bed, Liv ran to her bedroom, spreading all the patterns for the little bear across the bed, as if they were clues in a case to solve.
It was true she was a practical woman, but crafts had never been her strong suit.
She put on her glasses, threaded the needle, but soon pricked herself, bringing her finger to her mouth—only to prick herself again moments later. She couldn’t understand how she could handle a firearm with such skill, yet a simple needle was giving her so much trouble.
She felt a little foolish but tried following YouTube tutorials. They helped, but her progress was slow, and the stitches didn’t look very neat. She stayed up late into the night.
The next morning, Noah’s voice calling from his room woke her up.
“Mommy!”
Still tired from the previous night, Olivia hadn’t finished putting everything away and pricked herself once again.
“Mommy, are you okay?”
“Yes, sweetheart, it was just a little pinch.”
“Is the bear for Uncle Rafa?”
“Yes.”
“It doesn’t look like a bear.”
“Not yet,” she sighed.
_______
That night, she decided to try again: sewing. Seeing her clumsy work from the night before, she started over. There were still a few pricks, but they weren’t as frequent.
She didn’t get very far, but it was already looking better than her first attempts. It wasn’t perfect, but it was presentable.
The next day at the precinct, Liv looked tired, constantly rubbing her neck, with several Band-Aids on her fingers and noticeable dark circles under her eyes.
“Liv, are you okay?” Amanda asked, concerned.
“Yes.”
“What’s going on?”
“Nothing, just working on a special project.”
During a brief meeting with the team, Rafael noticed the Band-Aids on Liv’s hands. He remembered that she hadn’t had them the previous Saturday when they saw each other, but he chose not to ask and ignored it.
Liv kept her hands hidden from Rafael’s view during the meeting, though he inevitably ended up sitting next to her.
The rest of the week, Olivia followed the same routine: making dinner, checking Noah’s homework, reading him a story, tucking him in, and spending her nights sewing.
It might have seemed simple, but it took her far more time than she had anticipated.
The box of Band-Aids, along with her needle and scissors, had become her arsenal throughout that entire week.
_____
The day finally arrived. Liv had stayed up late, her neck aching.
That morning, on the kitchen table, there was an elegant green paper bag, tape, and scissors—everything ready for Liv’s gift to go inside the bag. Yet, the bear still sat on the table.
It was a dark brown plush bear, black eyes, and a crooked smile, wearing a dark green ribbon bow that gave it an elegant air—just like Rafael.
Liv looked at it, reevaluating whether she should take it.
Maybe she should use that trick Amaro had suggested: go to a fancy bakery and pretend she had baked some traditional Christmas cookies.
“How cute, Mommy!”
“Mmm.”
“Can you make one for me too?”
That comment was enough to convince Liv to put the bear in the bag. Noah helped wrap it in the paper.
Olivia got ready for work. Her son’s words had given her a bit of courage.
Around noon, Amanda was organizing everyone for the gift exchange.
Apparently, everyone had resorted to slightly sneaky strategies with their trays of cookies—even Captain Cragen hadn’t escaped.
Carisi and Amanda were the only ones who stood out.
Sonny had brought cannoli, and Rollins, according to her, had knitted a scarf herself for Fin.
When Rafael arrived, walking confidently with his blue gift bag, Olivia began to hesitate.
There was no turning back now.
Everyone opened their gifts without much excitement; it looked like they were going to have a tea party among all the cookies.
However, when Rafael opened his gift, he preferred a moment of privacy.
He unwrapped the paper and found the bear.
Rafael smiled—the gift was charming, almost like stepping back into the past.
Liv approached slowly.
“I can make it up to you, Rafael, I think that was…”
“Perfect,” Rafael said, holding the bear in his hand.