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"The tadpoles, the Absolute... it was because of you? I think you've said and done more than enough. Leave me be."
The sentence that had been haunting him for the past few days now. As Tav sat alone, atop of the watchtower of their current camp, the chill of the air brushing against him only further added to the cold, sunken feeling within his heart-- if he was even allowed to say he had one.
The reveal came as both a surprise, and a gruesome shock, to everyone when it was announced. For Tav? He didn't deserve to feel the way he did-- yet, the nasty, grueling feeling came to gnaw at his insides anyways. How dare he suggest that he, who had travelled this land in hopes of saving his allies and innocent people alike, would be allowed to be filled with guilt over what he had done? He was the one who did it in the first place, despite having no recollection of his actions. He did it. He had no right to sulk, to feel as if his world was imploding in on him, when he was the one who caused such folly himself.
And yet, here he was. Alone. On a stupid tower that overlooked the stupid city that he had selfishly damned in the first place. And for what-- Power? Greed? Approval? He couldn't even be sure as to the exact reason as to why. He couldn't remember. Yet, it wasn't that him remembering or not even mattered. This guilt was surely to be his new punishment, as any prayers to the Moonmaiden for his crimes would surely be rightfully tossed aside. No, she wouldn't help him here. He didn't deserve it.
So, he continued to stare out into the city. He at least hoped the view would give him inspiration as to how to undo the mess he did.
Gale was worried, to say the least.
After further evaluation and a night under the stars drawing some conclusions, he had made a rather... troubling discovery as of late.
It first started as they reached camp that night after the horrid coronation. Admittedly, after finding out the truth, he felt justified in his words, and it seemed as if Tav had expected them. There wasn't much to think about other than the rage, of knowing the one he had put his trust in had been behind the plot all along. The fury that followed knowing that his tadpoled fate was because of the man he had grown to care for, to even admire.
Yet, as the cloud of rage and fury had cleared, something else became illuminated: Tav's silent withdrawal.
Usually, Tav was the kind to make his nightly rounds. Discuss things with the party, attend to camp-ground needs, duly prepare hearty meals and entertaining stories shared around the campfire-- well, moreso their make-shift dining table, now-- and lastly, but most importantly, steal a kiss goodnight. No matter the details now, however, as it now became clear that Tav had been afflicted with something as to avoid everything altogether. Right to camp-- prepared the meals, as usual, but yet, there was a shift.
No more conversing with the party, no. The meals would be distributed, and, as if gone in a flash of lighting, the sorcerer would make himself scarce. Only a stolen glance before his beloved stool would thus become empty, and therefore unoccupied for the rest of the night. The first night, the camp had assumed he had been making more preparations for the following day. Yet, the deviation continued, persevered, even. Night after night-- for the next three nights-- Tav had continued avoiding everyone outside of their adventures together as much as he could manage to.
And eventually, Gale found where he had ended up every night: atop the tower they had risen the very first day they settled into their new camp, just outside of Rivington. There, alone, staring up at the moon and across the city. He hadn't even bothered to take off the blood-soaked armor, the scales of Adamantine that glinted underneath the moonlight. Despite of his recent gripes with the sorcerer, he still found him to be beautiful nonetheless. Entrancing, in a way that none other had been-- and yes, even more than Mystra herself, surprisingly. Even with his face obscured by the drow mask he always wore, he was still beautiful.
He couldn't stay mad at him for long, anyways. For as long as he had even known of Tav, the man had been the first one to help him after the Nautiloid had crashed. He had soothed the weave, coaxed it to a calm that had surprised even Gale, and had dutifully pulled him out of his own self-made trouble. Despite not having his memories, Tav had done nothing but help-- even as the party was busy searching for a cure. The Hero of the Grove, the Unmaker of the Shadow Curse, the Savior of the survivors of the Inn. He had saved Gale's life more times than he could count on both his hands and feet-- and that's not in the slightest bit exaggerated, in Gale's humble opinion. In all, he trusted Tav with his life. And so, it was only right to hopefully figure out what was ailing him-- besides the obvious, crushing revelation that he had been the reason for their misfortunes all along.
The next night as they bunkered down in camp once again, he waited until after supper to ascend the tower once again. He was particularly worried this time, especially with how rather reckless the spell-weaver had been. How his usually careful demeanor had been cast aside, and how he now adorned injuries he usually would have never sustained. That is what worried Gale. The idea Tav was becoming reckless, perhaps more consumed by the Urge. But that wasn't it, wasn't it? Even giving into the Urges, Tav had never been known to be this careless with himself.
And thus, Gale found himself ascending that rather questionably built tower-- all in the sake of seeing as to why Tav was acting so strange in the first place.
"Rather a well-chosen night to admire the stars again, isn't it?"
As Tav turned to look at the source of the words, his heart-- if he could call it that anymore-- both sang, and wept. He felt his eyes mist over, and in an attempt to hide his traitorous feelings from his... whatever they were now, he turned back to looking out at the city, and offered a soft hum of acknowledgement.
At the lack of enthusiastic reply, Gale knew immediately something was horribly wrong, even if it weren't for their tadpoled connection feeding him the waves of sorrow radiating off of the wave-weaver.
"Rough night, it appears. Mind if I join you?" Gale inquired, eyeing Tav with a weary yet gentle look.
Tav did not turn around-- merely nodding, and motioning for the wizard to join him.
As Gale approached closer, and took a seat next to the man, he placed a careful eye. This was surely territory to tread lightly. As a peace offering, he took the flask from his pocket, handing the potion him. "Drink this, please?"
It was a careful request, a plea to the sorcerer for a middle ground. It was a plea Tav saw as clear as day, and slowly, carefully, took the flask. He turned away as he drank it down, before turning back to the city. He was quiet for a moment, trying to judge the right words to say. In Gale's observations, Tav seemed to also be treading lightly-- which wasn't like him in the slightest, either. The brave hero, now reduced to hesitance under the wizard's watchful gaze.
They sat in silence for but a moment, until Tav took a deep breath.
"What do you make of us, currently?" He sighed, his gaze still distant as he looked out at the city.
"Pardon me?" Gale questioned in reply, not quite sure he heard that right. He tried to get a read on Tav's expression, a judgement on what ailed him-- but he was stoic as always, constantly obscured by that hooded mask.
"I said, what do you make of us?" Tav repeated, casting his gaze back down to the empty flask in his hands, "I'm sure you're rather upset with me at the moment. Given recent events."
Ah. That's what it was.
"I will admit," Gale spoke up, after a beat, "that I was furious with you. I was rather... respectfully unhappy with discovering that you were the one behind the Absolutist plot."
The words pulled a flinch out of Tav, the most subtlest of reactions-- but to Gale's keen eye, he caught it immediately.
"But," he then continued, "Rest assured. I would be a fool to not admit the good you've done since I've met you."
Another moment of silence drifted between them, before Tav moved-- discarding of the flask onto the floor, sweeping his hands under the hood and through his hair in one sweep, and exposing the glinting colors to bathe underneath the Moonmaiden's light. "I'd rather not mess this up, Gale," he admitted softly, taking a deep breath before leaning over, placing both elbows on his knees, "I don't remember much, but from what I've come to remember, this-- us-- has been the only good thing for me for a while now. If you rather I leave for what I've done, I understand." He kept his gaze away from Gale, head bowed. Too ashamed, afraid, even, for his lover's wrath. "I don't want to stain your name with my crimes."
"Yet you've already stained my heart with your radiance, and whisked it away in the dead of night. Your biggest crime to date, I'm afraid," Gale softened, moving with a caution as to not scare off his companion. "I could not find it in me to hold it all against you, considering you've been the one leading us thus far into dismantling the whole thing. If it is guilt you feel, be assured that none of this, this madness, could stand between you and I. Granted, I think it's reasonable for anyone to be upset with this degree of folly, but..."
He moved to take Tav's hands in his own, making Tav turn to him-- and Gods above, the look on Tav's face, the way his brows were knitted together in the tightest of knots, the definite frown that was bound to be underneath the last bit of fabric, told Gale everything he needed to know. He could still trust him. "I still love you. I meant it when I said it, and I'll say it again. We will get through this. Your Urges. Defeating the Absolute. We will see it through."
"I want to be better. I want to be the hero you see in me," Tav squeezed Gale's hands gently, staring down at the way Gale held his as if he was the finest of magical artifacts. "Do you think I'll be able to?"
"I know you'll be able to. This I know well. Now, how about, let's get you into something more comfortable, have our own little dip in a nice body of water to patch up those wounds, and enjoy this night together, instead of being on our lonesome up here?" Gale offered as he rose from their spot, gently guiding Tav up and away from the view of the city.
"One more thing?" Tav requested once they had made it back to ground level, looking at Gale with a glint of the spark that was slowly returning to him.
"What is it?"
"Wanted to steal something else from you," Tav replied, lowering the mask, and stealing a kiss from the wizard. "For good luck."
"Mmmm," Gale hummed in delight, now amused. To this, he offered another kiss. "For good luck indeed."