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In the years since a golden-topped blowhard had attempted to steal Penelope, life had not made room for more tolerance of the crime. A lonely gentleman must find a wife somehow, but a balloon did not marry. The colour was meant to imply greatness, but it only reminded him of a blond man who had the audacity of a thousand suitors.
Colin Bridgerton was not a controlling and demanding husband. He was glad to know his wife had friends and family to amuse her when he was occupied. He knew she loved the company of their children and was very gratified in her own life. He was even touched that her childhood friendship with his sister was restored.
He did not always mind when Eloise stole Pen for her adventures. He was glad to stay home with the children and know Pen was getting a rest. But he drew the line at danger, and they had no luck with balloons.
“Eloise dearly wants to go up,” his wife said kindly. “And I would not mind the height, I do not think. Or if I do, I will hold her hand and close my eyes.”
“And what if Eloise is the one who panics? She might elbow you over the side and I would have to throw myself into the lake!”
Penelope lowered her chin. They did not catastrophize in their house. They had children. If one of them was lost, the other must go on. Drama was preserved for their visits to family, where it was generally accepted as inevitable.
“She will not throw me off the balloon. It does not go up very far. It is tied on!”
“I recall a balloon tied on that came disastrously loose and created a near tragedy for us, Pen,” he said quietly. “While I was trying to pull it back from crushing you, Debling was taking the moment to put his arms around you! It was most trying. I know we were not a couple at the time, but I was nearly defeated by the notion even the universe was set to force me to see you with him.”
“Would you have preferred he did not try to protect me, as you were doing?”
His face was trapped in some Viscount level grumpiness. He could not condone the risk to a wife and mother. Eloise was naturally good at getting herself into and then out of trouble. But one did not encourage his heart from floating away with the idea nothing would go awry. They had nearly been separated forever! Their children would never have been born! The world did not comprehend how dark and cold it turned when Colin felt he would never win Penelope’s love.
“It was one of many impossibly torturous situations of that season, Pen! I loved you so much and you started the summer unhappy with me and telling me you would marry any other man who asked,” he told her. “Then you were wooed by that wooden and unfeeling man. You could not have found anyone less like my own way of being your husband.”
She pointed one lovely hand at him, her fingernails gleaming with pearly colour. “And who did I marry?”
That was not the point. Penelope’s fine mind was a source of great pride for him, but he was also intelligent. His concerns came from a place of caring and prudence. He was not a worrywart next to her carefree joy. He was protecting their home from losing a mother and wife.
“You married me. You are Mrs. Bridgerton. We have children! I do not take heedless risks that would leave you a widow,” he said plainly. He gave his best big, sad eyes. “Does it not signify that I will worry while you are having your fun?”
Pen patted his chest softly and whispered soothingly. “You spent the first month after our wedding alternating a worry that I would choke on my food and leave you and tupping me so vigorously we both nearly expired. The balloon seems safer and more moderate an activity. If I have survived regular beddings and birthing your children, surely I can manage standing still while I am lifted up and then back down gently?”
Colin fumbled for another reason, which she would certainly call an excuse. It was too public a place to discuss their bedroom habits, and he would argue he was not a fussy husband. He had normal concerns that were exactly as large as Penelope’s role in his life. She was everything good and he would die without her, so, there!
“When you describe the balloon like that, does it not sound rather boring?”
Pen’s glare was easily shrugged off, because he needed her. She was not thinking. Eloise had big ideas that could go very wrong. She was fearless in a way that could cause injury.
“That is enough time to break it to him,” his sister said roughly. “He will manage. You will not die. All will be well. Colin can even come with us if he can hold his bladder.”
And she took his wife by her arm, tugging her away like there was no deeper bond than that of two young girls without responsibilities that dictated they must live to see tomorrow. He grunted at Eloise, and Pen shook her head at him.
“I truly feel nothing can happen if I do this, Colin,” she said kindly. “The children are not here to see me go up. No one else is worried. Would you like to come with us?”
If the horror of being without her came to pass, Colin could not be in the same balloon plummeting to the earth. It was a superficial thing to say no one was worried. Everyone in the family knew stopping Eloise was more a matter of redirecting her efforts than halting her energy.
“What if I were to tell you I will be cross to see you go in the balloon?”
“I will help her divorce you,” Eloise said blithely.
His huff of offended dread was like a death rattle. Penelope opened her mouth to argue they would not divorce over a summer entertainment. She was not so set on this silly moment she would threaten their family.
“This is ridiculous and has gone too far,” Penelope said sharply. “I will ride with Eloise, and you can ride with Benedict later. Then we will be exactly even, the children will not be orphaned if the balloon suddenly collapses into an inferno that tosses us broken to the ground, and all will be even.”
Colin crossed his arms. “Benedict has no interest in such stunts. He argued with Sophie about going up, and stood underneath the balloon all the while she was aloft. He was terrified. He threatened to tell the balloon pilot she was expecting in order to exclude her for safety’s sake. I could tell the pilot you are also expecting and that would close the matter!”
Pen’s little frown was hurt. “That would be unkind and controlling,” she said starkly.
He was exasperated. “And that is why I want to talk about it instead. I will be petrified for you. I do not want you to go up without me, but I cannot see how it excuses our responsibility to our children for both of us to share the ride. And you want to go with Eloise. Can you not find another amusement in all these booths?”
Colin turned his back to the balloon platform, and pointed at various points of interest. “There are sweets and a second-hand book stall. Imagine the fine books you and El could rescue from their crates to be loved at home! You might play a game of darts and win a ribbon or a piece of costume jewelry. All these vendors have lovely wares. I will give you both as much money as I have with me if you will relieve me of this anticipation I will watch my dear wife rise into the sky and never come back to my arms!”
There were cries back and forth while the latest riders were helped out of the basket and the balloon was tied down to allow another set of guests to climb in. Penelope sighed behind his back and Eloise giggled.
“I put our names down already,” she said confidently. “They are only able to fly during the daylight. We are running out of time. We will have to wait until next year.”
Penelope answered with an even tone, her voice a little reserved. “Perhaps you should go with someone else. I do not want you to miss your chance. I don’t want to fight with Colin about it. It is intriguing but it is not more important than the rest of my life.”
Eloise made a gagging show of disgust for married compromise. He kept his back turned to let the women imagine they were having a private talk without his notice. Perhaps without his adamance, Pen would simply decline.
“Oh. OH!”
His wife sounded alarmed, and Colin spun around. He was prepared to fight Eloise if she was dragging her away to board that catastrophe waiting to happen. Penelope was still there, but she was gripping El’s arm.
“What is it?”
Pen looked at him sadly. “There are people getting in right now. We have taken too long. But El, you can run over and see if they have room for you!”
He heard a tone of bright distraction in her voice, and he looked past Penelope to the platform. Lady Danbury was in the basket, her arm supported by Simon. Colin’s usually sensible brother-in-law stepped out and assisted Violet Bridgerton into the hatch cut into the wicker. He even helped a few other women up, and stood back as the pilot called out a last warning.
“Room for two more!”
His own mother. His own mother was showing her approval of this madness. His own dear, widowed, sensible mother was putting herself up in the sky with all her trust in a basket lashed to a canvas bellows. She was bringing an elderly baroness with her! She was smiling!
“I am sure all will be well,” Penelope said softly. She took his hand and moved to stand at his side, stepping away from his sister.
Eloise made a face. “I will take one of those spots. Might you have the grace not to be a terrible husband, Brother?”
He was not terrible. He was excessively understanding about any number of activities that took Pen away from him and the children. He knew she needed to have an independent interest in books and society. He would never limit his wife to a life inside the house tending to other people and making a show of obedience. But he was not at ease about this adventure, and the idea his sister, mother and wife would be together was upsetting. When one talked about not putting all eggs in one basket, Colin thought they might be creating a new figure-of-speech about riding balloons for hedonistic reasons. They were not even going anywhere to justify such a reckless experience.
But Pen was a former wallflower, and Eloise had been drawing her into small bits of trouble most of their lives. She was braver for it, and that might have added up to the trust he’d called upon when he told her he loved her and asked for her hand.
“I will be fine here,” he said. “If you wish to ride in the balloon, I will wait for you patiently.”
He would not claim he would do so quietly, since he would likely weep a little from the stress. Perhaps he could stand next to Benedict and Anthony so they could block the view as he blubbered.
“Are you certain?!”
She was excited. She was glad he had changed his mind. And Colin nodded with a tight, false smile.
“I do not want to be a terrible husband,” he told her. “Go with Eloise. Hold on tight and if she falls out, do not even attempt to catch her. El, if you are foolish you will be a solitary pancake without my wife!”
“How kind of you, Colin! Come on, Penelope!”
Eloise took her away, both of them making a quick step across the grass. Violet saw them and waved. Lady Danbury seemed to be laughing. It was all well and good for her to cackle. She had lived a full life and was not leaving a poor, heartbroken man alone with small children.
Colin walked over to the assistants for the balloon pilot. He watched them as they unwound the ropes.
“There are two more boarding,” he said. “My wife and sister are just getting in. Do hold it steady for them. Women’s boots are not as sturdy as men’s.”
“Yes, guv,” one of the workers said shortly.
“She is my whole world,” Colin said apologetically. “Is it safe? Has anyone been hurt on these rides?”
“Not a one. Barely worth the trouble to be honest, but safe as capers.”
Colin didn’t know if his pickled flower bud garnishes were safe or not. He tried to take some comfort in how lazily the men gathered ropes and changed their grips. The balloon - miscreant though some balloons might be during his courtship - did nothing out of the ordinary. It seemed like a large and contented field animal, lambent flame keeping it from going flat but no real drive to go places. It was just a huge canopy shaped to hold the hot air.
“Thank you,” he said, slipping the men a few pound notes to give them some strength of conviction as they carried on changing ropes to allow the balloon to rise.
He walked to the bottom of the steps and clutched the railing there. Pen looked down at him and blew a kiss. She looked happy. She was holding Eloise’s arm and speaking to his mother and Lady Danbury. It was nice she had female friends with whom she felt comfortable. It was good to have a bold and loving wife who would leave him for a short time to venture something new. It was a fine indication she was happy, well and secure that he would never leave her.
So Colin smiled painfully, and he let it happen. He watched the straps secure the wooden panel that enclosed the hatch cut into the wicker. He eyed the men loosing ropes until there were only a few remaining, their hold too light to stop the balloon from rising. It all looked far too flimsy to be a means of travel.
He watched the blasted gasbag steal his wife and waved up at her to please her. She was looking a little worried when the balloon first swayed, but El was holding her. And then it was too late. Pen was up in the air and beyond his sight. She was far beyond his reach, and Colin prayed with mumbling while he shifted his feet. He knew there were tears in his eyes, and he didn’t even try to pretend otherwise. It was wrenching. To be in any way fearful of her absence was hard. He had worried over her childbirths. He even wondered sometimes if he would lose her to a favourite book merchant who had found a long-sought rare volume.
Pen was generally in good stead and good cheer with the world. She was not unnaturally happy and could show a temper. But she was happy and her life pleased her. He could not limit that. He had married her at not quite twenty and made her a mother an indecent time later. She must have the joy of youth the way he had done. She had felt too much of duty and strain.
Colin stood for a long, neck-cricking time looking straight up. The mercy of the balloon ride was that it was meant to be short and go almost nowhere. The device rose up and came back down. It was buffeted by more wind as it went higher. A few distant screams came from it, though they might be from thrills instead of fear.
He stood with queasy attention, and eventually the misery was over. The balloon brought her back, lowering until the ladies inside were visible. None of them were quite unmoved. Their hair was ruffled and faces were a little paler than before, with flushed cheeks from the wind.
Even when the balloon was tied off and held steady there was a delay. Older ladies were seen out first, including his mother. She patted his face as he offered a hand to her. Lady Danbury seemed like all she did was chuckle at Colin and his love of his wife. It might be the cost of marrying Lady Whistledown as one of the ton’s least likely proponents of gossip. He had made his own bed and would lie there gladly if Pen was holding him.
Eloise waved for Penelope to climb down first, rolling her eyes. “See? It was wonderful,” she said.
“It was a little frightening,” Pen told him. “And I am sure I would have been less afraid with you there, but I see your point about the children. One of us must make it home to them. It is a remarkable way to see the city, though.”
Colin bristled, his hands wrapping around her waist and carrying her down with a rather long brush of her body against his. He set her on her feet and looked her over for any dizziness now that she was back on the ground.
“We both must make it home,” he said gruffly. “But I am glad you enjoyed it. Eloise, I will help you down. There is a tall step and you do not want to turn your ankle.”
With all passengers out, the pilot checked his pocket watch. “I have time for a few more trips, if you would like to see the world from above,” he said.
Colin shook his head and took Penelope’s arm. “I see my world quite well from here,” he said. “Thank you, sir.”
Pen’s little grin was lovely, and well worth the horrid noise of revulsion from El as she led the way to their next imposition of her idea of a good time.
“I will wash away that revolting nonsense with a pastry, and you will buy them for us. It is the least you can do, Colin,” she said. “I hope you feel silly for making such a hubbub about this.”
“I had years of feeling like an afterthought to my own family,” Pen said sweetly. “To have an attentive husband now is a dream. I am glad someone misses me even knowing I will not be gone long. It feels very safe and lets me try new things with good spirits. But you are pale. We must find you something good to eat for being such a fine man.”
He didn’t bother to rebuke his sister’s complaints. They could not matter next to his wife’s pretty compliment. He was not a possessive despot, but a man who knew her worth.
“I have seen cakes that would restore us all,” he said. “Welcome back to Earth, my angel.”