Work Text:
Dying sucked. Screw the fact that it was heroic. Screw the fact that I finally stood up for something. It still sucked. I guess I shouldn’t really have expected anything else. No one lives forever, right? I guess I just never expected to die quite like this.
Being dead isn’t quite as bad though. Boring as all get out, but I guess peaceful could be a word for it too. I never knew what happened to us Angels when we died. Never really thought about it, to be honest. I think my Father may be the only one who’s always known.
It’s kind of this vast nothingness. Half the time I can’t even remember if I’m in my true form or not. Then again, I was in my vessel for a very very long time. Part of me still feels bad for the poor chump. I doubt my life was the one he was signing up for. Probably thought he’d be leading this life of justice or something. Should’ve let Batman possess him for that.
I shove my hands in my pockets and start walking. God only knows how far I’ve walked since I got here. Initially I was seeing if there was an end to the white, but I’ve kinda given up hope on that. Now I just walk because I’m bored, and honestly there isn’t much else to do.
I’ve tried conjuring stuff. Food, TV, women. None of it lasts. The food just dissipates, the TV glitches out, and the women just kinda smile sadly and disappear. I guess Angel juice only goes so far when you’re dead, which is frustrating.
I wonder what things are like in the land of the living right now. Were they able to beat Lucifer? I hope so, otherwise there would’ve been no point to me dying. And to be honest I’d much rather be alive, for I think very obvious reasons. Besides, someone’s gotta be there to clean up after the Winchesters. I tell you what, for humans, those two are remarkably good at making a massive mess of things. I know, I know. They mean well. They just don’t always realize the scale their actions tend to affect. AKA everything. Then again most of the time my brothers aren’t particularly inclined to try and fix things once the Winchesters break them. None of their concern, yada yada yada. You’d think it would be, since more often than not their problems affect us as well. That’s Angel logic for you.
Something shifts. I can’t quite put my finger on what it is, but something definitely changed. It doesn’t quite feel like one of my brothers entering though. When one of them comes here, I can always tell who it is. I’m just never able to find them. Maybe that’s part of the mechanics here. Eternal solitude. I’m a social guy, so that kinda sucks.
I keep walking, but something still doesn’t feel right. Then something really trippy happens. I smell stuff. Like, walking through New York kind of stuff. Cigarette smoke and hot dogs and car exhaust. To be completely honest it’s kinda nice. It’s been such a long time since I’ve been able to smell or taste or feel anything. There’s nothing here to provide any of that. No smells, or textures. Heck, it doesn’t even echo. Trust me, I’ve tested that. It would’ve been at least mildly entertaining if it echoed.
The smells are still there, so I stop and just breathe it in. I’m starting to think that I might be losing my mind because now I hear knocking too. This was probably bound to happen. Stick Gabe in a big box of nothing and see how long it takes him to crack. Not nearly as fun as it sounds, and believe me,it doesn’t sound that bad. It’s still knocking, so I turn around. Yup. I’m gone. There’s a door there. I sigh and shake my head, stepping forward to knock on the door myself.
It opens. It’s weird, because I can’t tell what’s past it. I know it’s not the nothingness though, so that’s good enough for me. I step through it and it closes behind me. I’m standing in the middle of nowhere, a dirt road running ahead of me and trees speckling the hills. I hear a can pop open and a familiar, but surprised, voice behind me. “Hey Gabriel! Welcome back.”