Archive of Our Own ^beta

Tonight, Minseok was on a mission. A war, really, if you could call a one-sided battle that. Whatever the case was, Minseok was going to win.

Look, if anyone was to blame, it was definitely Minhyung. It wasn't as if Minseok was the one with a new girlfriend, constantly showing her off by reposting Instagram stories of their dinner dates together, hearts and all, as if he was dying to show off their love life. And Minseok wasn't being a metaphorical sour grape: he could willingly admit that Minhyung's new girlfriend was objectively beautiful, with wide eyes and long, jet black hair. He'd just wished he wouldn't have to be assaulted with a photo of them together every time he wanted to scroll though Instagram. While you could argue that Minseok had a full year to unfollow Minhyung since their breakup, let the record show that they had parted amicably, and amicable exes could still follow each other on social media, thank you very much. He wouldn't have had to see all that lovey-dovey stuff if Minhyung hadn't shamelessly forced it in front of everyone's eyes in the first place.

All that to say, it was Minhyung that started this. Sure, you could hardly call it a rebound after one year post-breakup, and more power to Minhyung for moving on from their five-year relationship, but he had essentially forced Minseok's hand in proving that he was also over it. Because Minseok was a lot of things, but he wasn't a loser, and he wasn't about to stay hung up on someone that clearly didn't love him any more.

It was with this in mind that Minseok showed up to Moon Hyunjoon's birthday-slash-Christmas house party tonight. Normally he would've thought twice about being in such close quarters with Minhyung, but he wasn't going to miss Hyunjoon's birthday for the world, and being the one to avoid Minhyung now just felt like conceding defeat.

Again, Minseok - and he couldn't stress this enough - did not lose. 

So Minseok threw himself into conversation as soon as he crossed the front door, determined to dazzle anyone that looked his way. He had hugged Moon Hyunjoon on the way in, sunnily wishing him a happy birthday while giving his gift, before turning to greet Choi Hyunjoon and launching straight into conversation with him and Suhwan. Right now he found himself sitting on the sofa next to Wangho, hanging off his every word and cracking witty jokes at every opening, giggling a little louder than usual whenever he had the chance to. He wasn't even particularly close to Wangho, but as long as it made him look like he was having the time of his life, he was good to roll with it.

"…Yeah, so that's basically what I do now. To be honest, I always expected to change jobs one day, but now that it's actually happened, it feels so weird. Who knows, maybe I'll come back to it in the future. I know Sanghyeok-hyung definitely wants me to," Wangho said, wrapping up his explanation of his new job — something about marketing that Minseok didn't completely catch. "And you, Minseok? How has your year been?"

Minseok folded his legs under him, trying to chase away the reluctance he felt at answering such an incredibly standard question. Wangho couldn't have meant anything by it, because he couldn't have known what an eventful year Minseok had. Acutely aware of who was listening, or who might have been listening, Minseok plastered on a radiant smile as he replied.

"It's been good, it's been really good," Minseok said pleasantly, even as the words tasted artificially sweet in his mouth. "I've had the chance to travel a lot, you know? There was Vancouver, and also Berlin — oh, Berlin was so much fun."

"Was it?" Wangho asked with a tilt of his head. "I thought it was so-so when I was there a couple of years ago, but that was for work. I guess it's a different city when you're there for fun."

"It really is, the nightlife is crazy," Minseok said, nodding emphatically. His words were technically true, but Minseok only knew about Berlin's nightlife secondhand — he was more of a 'get in bed and doomscroll social media by ten p.m.' sort of guy. But appearances had to be maintained.

"Sounds like you have stories to tell," Wangho prompted, leaning forward with interest. Minseok couldn't tell if he was genuinely interested or just trying to indulge his dongsaeng, but he was happy for the audience nonetheless. Minseok turned to settle into the sofa cushions with one shoulder, a smile on his lips that he hoped was mysterious enough.

"Ah, hyung, what kind of a person do you think I am?" Minseok complained, trying to dodge giving an actual answer. There was a twinkle in Wangho's eye, and Minseok could tell he was about to pry some more, when they were interrupted by someone leaning on the back of the couch.

"Wangho-ah, they're opening the alcohol now. Do you want any wine?" Sanghyeok had his arms crossed and rested on the back of the couch between them, and Minseok moved back instinctively, putting more space between himself and Wangho. Wangho didn't even seem to notice, his eyes now firmly on Sanghyeok.

"If you're offering, hyung, who am I to refuse?" Wangho's smile now was far wider than any he had shown Minseok during their conversation.

Sanghyeok returned the smile with a smirk before turning to Minseok. "And you, Minseok? Should I get you a drink too?"

Minseok scrambled to his feet. While he might have been pretty close to Sanghyeok and knew that he didn't typically care much about age hierarchy, Minseok had looked up to Sanghyeok for such a long time that he was always careful not to presume too much. Never mind that Wangho had just presumed that very thing, but it was clear to anyone with eyes that Wangho had always been a little special to Sanghyeok. More than friends, Minseok suspected, but Sanghyeok had always been frustratingly tight-lipped about it.

"No need, hyung, I can get a glass myself," Minseok said hurriedly.

"Ah, good, you can come help me uncork the wine, then." Sanghyeok turned back to Wangho. "Let me steal him for a little bit."

"Go ahead," Wangho replied. Minseok had a sinking feeling that a lot was not being said as the two of them exchanged a look, but he knew better than to ask.

Minseok followed as Sanghyeok stepped over to the dining table where everyone had dropped off their bottles of alcohol, taking the opportunity to glance around the apartment surreptitiously. Minhyung was on the other end of the dining table, head down as he helped their host complete the finishing touches on their potluck dinner. It wasn't clear how much of Minseok's conversation he had heard — if he had heard. Minseok looked away, feeling more than a little irked. Minhyung's presence felt like a thorn in the side of Minseok's attention tonight, and he was constantly pricked by the thought of Minhyung's eyes on him. It was as frustrating as it was distracting.

Minseok pursed his lips, pushing the annoyance down as he turned his focus back to Sanghyeok, who was studying a bottle of wine he had picked up.

"Joonie should have a corkscrew in the kitchen," Minseok commented. "Let me go look for it."

Minseok stepped around Sanghyeok and into the empty kitchen, going straight for the cabinets where he recalled Hyunjoon kept everything. He unearthed a Swiss army knife in the third cabinet, and by then Sanghyeok had already joined him in the kitchen, wine bottle and three glass cups in tow.

"Sanghyeokie-hyung, let me open the bottle." Minseok held his hand out in offering, and Sanghyeok obliged. Sanghyeok set the cups down noisily, before leaning against the counter as he watched Minseok.

"So, you and Wangho are pretty close, huh?" Sanghyeok commented lightly, and Minseok felt it like a shiver down his spine. His hyung had a fearsome reputation that didn't entirely square off with his usual teasing or easygoing attitude, but what most people didn't understand was that Sanghyeok wasn't a loud person by nature, nor did he need to be. He was sharp as a razor blade and just as dangerous, if not more so, when speaking in pleasantries.

Minseok straightened, setting both the bottle and corkscrew down as he turned to face Sanghyeok, suddenly aware of his trespass.

"Hyung, it's not like that," Minseok insisted with a sinking feeling.

"It's not like what?" Sanghyeok asked pointedly, and Minseok sighed, running his hands through his hair. This was a difficult conversation to navigate, because he couldn't exactly accuse his hyung of being jealous. Sometimes, he swore Sanghyeok just asked these questions to watch his dongsaengs squirm.

"I was just having a regular conversation with Wangho. Nothing else," Minseok explained quickly. Sanghyeok held a hand against his chin as he looked at him, and Minseok tried in vain not to feel like a worm underneath a magnifying glass. 

"There's something weird about you today, Minseok," Sanghyeok mused. "Not just about Wangho. You're chattier than usual. Louder, too."

"What's that supposed to mean, hyung?" Minseok asked, trying to sound more offended than he felt to cover up his sudden spike of fear. Sanghyeok was the sharpest knife in the entire damn restaurant supply store, and he could be eerily perceptive when he put his mind to it.

"Nothing, just an observation," Sanghyeok replied, and Minseok barely had time to let go of his breath before Sanghyeok went in for the kill. "Say, have you spoken to Minhyung yet?"

Minseok felt his whole body freeze, and had to make himself breath in and out deeply as he forced each muscle to relax. His hyung was well and truly a little shit. Sanghyeok had been one of the first to know about their breakup all those months ago, and while he had been understanding at first, that had been relatively short-lived. More recently, he had begun softly pushing for Minseok to normalise things with Minhyung, mainly so everyone else in their friend circle could stop feeling like they were walking on eggshells around either of them. Minseok had always refused indirectly, moving the conversation along or walking away completely when the topic came up. He should have known that this would come back around eventually, though. What Sanghyeok wanted, he would always find a way to get.

"No, I haven't had the chance," Minseok said, feeling his mouth stiffen around his smile.

And then Minseok was saved the trouble of having to say anything more about Minhyung when the man himself showed up at the entry way to the kitchen, as though sensing that someone was talking about him. Minseok immediately shut up like a clam, and would have turned away completely if not for how glaringly obvious it would be in the small kitchen.

Minhyung's gaze bounced between the two of them in the suspiciously sudden silence, and Minseok had to stop himself from fidgeting. But Minhyung didn't press further.

"Sanghyeok-hyung, Minseok," Minhyung's eyes landed briefly on Minseok before sliding away, "dinner's all ready. Come on out and eat."

"Wow, perfect timing," Sanghyeok cheered, as if he hadn't been sending the fear of God straight into Minseok's bones just a moment before. Then Minseok made the mistake of making eye contact with Sanghyeok, because a positively feline grin spread on his face before he continued speaking. "Since you're here, Minhyung-ah, can you help Minseok open that bottle of wine? He's been trying to figure it out for the past five minutes."

Minseok shot Sanghyeok a scathing look, all hierarchy and proprietary be damned. "I have not!"

But Sanghyeok only shrugged and walked away with a chuckle, clapping Minhyung on the shoulder as he stepped around him. Minseok glared daggers into his back but it was no use, and in the end he could only turn around and return his attention back to the bottle of wine as an excuse to hide his face.

He didn't know if he hated the universe or Sanghyeok more in that moment, but it was close.

Minseok picked up the Swiss army knife and went back to his original task, hyperaware of every sound and movement Minhyung made behind him, down to each breathy exhale. He could hear Minhyung step further into the kitchen, clearly hesitating for a moment before deciding to speak.

"I can help with that, Minseok," Minhyung offered kindly, and Minseok kept his back stubbornly turned. Still, if today was about proving that he was over Minhyung, then there was no better time than now to prove it.

"I'm okay, Minhyung," Minseok replied, the name feeling a little odd on his tongue after so many months. "Sanghyeokie-hyung is just being annoying. I can manage fine on my own."

Desperate to prove his own point, Minseok put the sharp end of the corkscrew against the cork stopper, pressing down on it so it could catch. But Minseok's hands betrayed the confidence of his words, and with a slight tremble, the tip of the corkscrew slipped off the top of the bottle and straight against Minseok's other hand.

"Ah, fuck -" Minseok cursed, jerking his hands back at the sudden pain, the stupid corkscrew clattering across the counter. The bottle of wine warbled dangerously but thankfully didn't fall, and Minseok could barely feel relief at the close call before Minhyung was right beside him.

"Shit, are you okay?" Minhyung asked in concern, hands halfway out as if to touch him. Without quite meaning to, Minseok flinched away, taking half a step back to put some distance between them. He didn't dare to look up at Minhyung's face, but he could see how much his reaction had affected Minhyung from the way his hands retreated, curled into loose fists.

"I-I'm okay, it's just a small scratch," Minseok somehow managed to find his voice to say, his heart feeling thrown all out of sorts from both the pain and the emotion whiplash of the last five minutes. He stared dumbly down at the blood now welling in the crook of his thumb and index finger, his mind blank as to what to do now. But Minhyung was always quick to find solutions, and already, he was moving with purpose.

"Run your hand under the tap," Minhyung instructed, pulling open the kitchen cupboards and rummaging through each one. "I remember Joonie keeping his first aid kit around here somewhere…"

Minseok never liked being told what to do, but he complied wordlessly this time, his body feeling like wood as he turned to reach for the taps. His hand stung under the running water. Behind him, he heard Minhyung's soft noise of triumph as he must have found what he was looking for, and when Minseok turned Minhyung had already opened the first aid kit, pulling out a tube of antiseptic cream and a loose plaster.

"That's way overkill," Minseok commented as he waved the offerings away, but Minhyung only clicked his tongue.

"At least take the plaster," Minhyung said, and Minseok wanted to refuse again just out of spite, but he knew better than anyone just how much the two of them could match each other's stubbornness. Minseok stepped forward to take the plaster reluctantly and end their stalemate, ripping off the wrapper with poorly disguised irritation.

They were within arm's reach like this, probably the closest they'd been since their break up a year ago, and Minseok realised that he'd been right to avoid Minhyung this whole time. It was clear now that despite all the time and Minseok's self-assurances, Minhyung was still capable of rattling Minseok in a way that he was woefully underprepared for. Especially this Minhyung, with his hair styled and his glasses off in a way that brought out the prettiness of his eyes, his frame feeling twice as large in the smallness of the cramped kitchen.

Minseok's gaze flickered up to Minhyung briefly before turning away. It was so, so unfair that Minhyung got to move on like nothing had happened, and Minseok still found himself stuck on square one, unable to so much as look Minhyung in the eye.

As it turned out, this war Minseok had declared was harder to fight than he could ever imagine.

Minseok's wound had stopped bleeding already, and he dried it carelessly with the edge of his sweater before pressing the plaster against it, trying to stop the shaking in his hands that had caused this whole mess in the first place. When he felt a little more like himself again he looked up to see that Minhyung had already put everything away and had his sleeves pushed up, working to uncork the wine. Minseok wanted to object and take it back, but he'd already gone and proven why he couldn't be trusted with it, so he could only hang back and watch.

"What did you bring for the potluck?" Minseok forced himself to speak, breaking the awkward silence that was rapidly building. It was a painfully boring question, the kind of small talk you made when you literally had nothing to talk about, but it was safe. With everything that was sitting between them, Minseok needed safe right now.

"There's this restaurant down the street that Joonie really likes. I just got some galbi and fried chicken there. Things he's always in the mood for," Minhyung said as he uncorked the wine, his wrists turning in precise arcs. When he got to the end of the corkscrew he began tugging it out, and Minseok had to look away from the strain of his forearms. "And you?"

"Some vegetable banchan. Goodness knows none of you were going to bring any fibre. My mom also made some kimchi, the kind -" The kind you like, he'd almost said, before cutting himself off short. "Y-yeah, she made kimchi."

It turned out that safer waters were not so safe after all. Five years was a long time to be together, long enough that it had tainted every ocean of Minseok's mind with the memory of them.

By then Minhyung had the wine bottle open, and he moved the conversation on smoothly without noticing or pretending not to notice Minseok's stumble.

"Three glasses?" Minhyung asked curiously as he poured out the first glass.

"For Sanghyeok-hyung and Wangho-hyung. And one for me, I guess." Minseok had to resist the urge to defend himself further when Minhyung's eyebrows raised.

"Wow, Sanghyeok must have really backed you into a corner for you to agree," Minhyung joked, but Minseok was unable to offer more than a wan smile. They both knew that Minseok detested wine.

"I don't know, maybe I've acquired a taste for it." Minseok tried to keep his voice light, but it landed somewhere closer to vulnerable. The air stretched with something heady and strange, like the scent of wine.

Tainted waters, and all that.

"Have you." Minhyung must have felt the tension too, because his voice was much softer now, almost like an afterthought. He held out the first glass of wine to Minseok, and Minseok couldn't refuse it, so he carefully avoided Minhyung's fingers as he took it, mumbling his thanks. For a moment it felt like time stopped, the wine glass cool in Minseok's hands and terribly fragile, the sharp smell of red already making his head spin a little.

Minseok drank it cautiously, letting the bitterness and faint acidity fill his mouth before swallowing. Frankly, he would never understand afternotes and sommeliers. Wine was just wine.

"No, actually," Minseok said belatedly, trying hard not to make a face. "I don't think I have."

And then Minhyung was laughing softly, and Minseok huffed too, and the weirdness between them eased slightly. It still wasn't completely gone, but it felt like time had gone on ticking again.

"Go ahead and grab some food. I can get the wine to Sanghyeok and Wangho," Minhyung eventually said, graciously extending an easy exit for Minseok to take. But maybe the wine was starting to get to Minseok's head, or maybe it was the festive spirit in the air, because he hesitated, glancing up at Minhyung shortly.

"Are you sure?" 

Minhyung's false exterior, usually indiscernible to most but so painfully obvious to Minseok now, cracked a little as his lips thinned, and he looked inexplicably tired. Minseok wanted to run his fingertips over the corners of his mouth to ease the tension there, but that was the remnant of muscle memory from a long time ago.

Does she know? Minseok wanted to ask, something ugly and hateful rising in him for a flash of a moment. Does your girlfriend know that you're seeing your ex tonight, that you still look at him like you're seeing a ghost?

"I'll be alright," Minhyung reassured, his voice light even so. Minseok had to turn away quickly, swallowing the odd emotions in his chest. This conversation felt bigger than corkscrews and red wine, and Minseok realised with a sudden clarity that he wasn't anywhere near drunk enough to handle all this.

So he stepped away from Minhyung, only pausing for a moment to turn his head. "Sure. Thanks, Minhyung," he said quietly before leaving.

Crossing the threshold of the kitchen felt like leaving a portal, and Minseok shook himself internally, trying to shed the strangeness that had come over him and was now spreading across his skin like spiderwebs. Speaking to Minhyung had been both better and worse than Minseok had anticipated. Better, since they could still carry on conversation, even as stilted and awkward as it was, and that was a promising sign for the two of them to return to normal — or as normal as they could manage.

But it was also worse, so much worse, because Minhyung hadn't changed at all. He was still the same boy that Minseok had fallen in love with six years ago in university, the same pretty eyes and pretty smile that had convinced Minseok to partner an absolute stranger for a class project in their second year. He was still the same person with a heart that was too easy to fool, a heart that Minseok had wanted to protect at all costs, back before their relationship had become too heavy to breathe around.

But there couldn't be anything left between them, not with how Minseok had treated Minhyung towards the end, colder than the solstice night. Especially not now that Minhyung had moved on to someone else, someone who would hopefully be kinder than Minseok had ever been.

Nope, Minseok was definitely not drunk enough for this. He held his breath as he knocked back the wine in one go, grimacing at the bitterness and the burn on the way down, blood already rushing to his cheeks before the liquid settled in his stomach. He thought he felt eyes on him as he came back up for air, but when he looked, Minhyung had his back to him, passing the glasses of wine in his hands to Sanghyeok and Wangho on the couch.

The potluck dinner was as delicious as it looked. Hust as everyone was scraping off their plates someone recommended playing a game, and soon, Switch remotes were being passed around to everyone as the Super Smash Bros title came up on the TV screen. The game was a particular favourite of Moon Hyunjoon's, who had brought his Switch up to university all those years ago for this express purpose, and whenever a study session or get together happened in his and Minseok's dorm room, the game inevitably would make an appearance.

There were a round of complaints as Hyunjoon toggled the settings - no items on a floating map, like a purist - but they let him get away with it this time on account of his birthday.

Then they got the character selection screen, and everything became downright chaos with so many players. Minseok went with his comfort pick of Rosalina, having not touched the game in a good few months. It wasn't exactly meta but she was good enough, and she was easily the prettiest playable character, with her adorable star companion Luma being a huge plus.

It was clear that most of his friends went with picks that they liked the look of rather than actually knowing how to play, like Choi Hyunjoon's choice of the Pokemon Trainer and Wooje's more comedic Piranha Plant. But his eyes narrowed when he saw someone - Player 4 - hover over Fox, that annoying pistol-bearing lupine. Really? Who was being such a tryhard in a game between friends?

He should've known. On the other end of the couch, Minhyung's voice piped up, "Sanghyeokie-hyung, try to survive to the end, I want to one-v-one you on Fox."

Minseok grit his teeth, his fingers curling around his remote. Minseok had always been competitive, almost to a fault, and it was only made worse by the two additional shots of hard liquor he had thrown back since drinking the wine, making his blood pulse in his veins. A more sober Minseok might have realised that drinks and competitive games didn't mix well for him, especially not in the weird funk he'd found himself in after the conversation in the kitchen, but it was too late now. A tipsy Minseok wanted nothing more than to kick Minhyung's ass.

The game kicked off, and it was just as messy as anticipated. Half the time Minseok couldn't even find Rosalina's figure on the small island shared by eight characters, but he tried his best to maintain his distance from the mess of frantic skill-spamming, staying high and away on an elevated platform and kicking away anyone that strayed too close. Moon Hyunjoon began yelling in time with his character's strikes to Choi Hyunjoon's protests, Wangho began quarrelling with Wooje as they pushed each other off the map, and even Minseok couldn't help but cackle as Rosalina performed a graceful backflip and slam dunked Suhwan's Pikachu into oblivion.

But everything came into sharp focus as Fox jumped up onto his platform, aiming to kick Rosalina off while she was distracted with her kill. But Minseok was quick to react, leaping over him and sending Luma out to score some quick damage.

The screen erupted in colour as player after player got eliminated, but Minseok only had eyes for one enemy. Eight characters became five became three, and soon it was only the two of them left facing off, every eye in the room looking back and forth between them in meaningful silence.

(Moon Hyunjoon had come in third place, and could have very well finished first, if not for the moment that he realised just who was left with him. He had taken one look at both their faces and wasted no time in sending his Cloud character straight off the side of the map.)

Minseok was acutely aware of the attention, and the fact that everyone in the room knew what had happened between them. It frankly made his skin crawl a little, but he couldn't give it any mind while he had a fight to win.

Both of them were left with one life each after the intensity of the eight-man brawl, and trading damage now was a tricky thing. Both of their characters were locked in a deadly dance, exchanging blows and trying to fake each other out, throwing up shields to block damage and arcing through the air to dodge attacks.

("What the fuck," Wooje whispered, and both Sanghyeok and Wangho, sitting on either side of him, shushed him quietly.)

And it was just — the audacity of it all. Minhyung might not have learnt how to play the game from Minseok, but they had perfected it together, long hours spent gaming on the couch in Minseok's dorm room instead of doing homework, testing combos and matchups in their ultimate quest to take down Moon Hyunjoon. If they had also used it as an excuse to sit closer to each other, Minseok's feet slowly creeping out from under him onto Minhyung's lap, then no one else was the wiser.

Their damage was tied evenly, each strike met with an answering blow, until Minhyung found a gap in his defence, sending him careening over the edge of the platform. Minseok inhaled sharply, scrambling to jump back on, but Minhyung stood there waiting on the edge, ready to pummel him down. Minseok had known he would, though, and was already two steps ahead, leaping over him instead of falling into his trap. But Minhyung's reaction speed was deadly, and Fox grabbed Rosalina as soon as she landed, slamming her into the ground and following up with a terrifying sequence of blows.

It was all so familiar. It was all so familiar because Minseok had taught that move to him, there on the polyester couch of his dorm room which had seen too much history, both of them tucked under the thick blanket that smelled like Minseok because the heating never worked the way it should've. It had been spring then, a nighttime drizzle pattering against the window pane, and Minseok had taught Minhyung how to time his grab on his opponents, and Minhyung had then proceeded to absolutely trounce Minseok in their next fight, so badly that Minhyung had to pull Minseok into his lap and kiss him just to cool his temper.

And then that memory morphed, and with all the precision of a barbed arrow, he was struck by the image of Minhyung on that couch not with Minseok, but with his new girlfriend, teaching her the game and kissing away her anger too. In that very moment, Minseok realised that maybe he had never been that special at all.

Minseok cursed as his fingers slipped on his tiny remote, and he missed the chance to free himself from the stun. All the micro-movements in the game demanded too much focus from Minseok's currently addled mind, and he already felt a headache settling in, worsened by the frustration of his impending loss. He mashed every button, but he couldn't do anything as Rosalina's poor body was sent flying off the side of the platform limply, Fox jumping straight after her. Minseok felt his heart sink as he watched Minhyung line himself up for an easy final blow.

But it never came. Fox somehow missed his downward charge, sending himself plummeting straight to his demise, only a split second before Rosalina herself did.

The victory screen popped up soon after, Rosalina doing her signature pose in celebration of her first place finish. Minseok was stunned, but only for a moment, and he was on his feet before he knew what he was doing, a finger pointed straight at Minhyung in accusation.

"Yah! I don't fucking need you to let me win that!"

In the silence that ensued, Minseok could only hear his heart pumping in his ears, his hands shaking slightly from the alcohol and adrenaline. He realised, faintly, that he just might have gone a little too far. If asked, he would have made his excuses and said it was the rush that always came when he focused too hard, but even as delusional as he was, he knew that it had everything to do with Minhyung. Minhyung had put him on the back foot all night, and Minseok had finally snapped. It could have only been Minhyung, bypassing of Minseok's nonchalance to provoke a reaction right from the very heart of him. He couldn't explain it, but there was no one in the world that could make him quite as angry as Minhyung could.

Minseok was staring straight at Minhyung now, who looked as stunned as Minseok felt. He watched as something complicated passed through Minhyung's face before his brows furrowed. "Minseok -"

"I -" Minseok cut him off quickly. He really didn't want to do this here, not now, and especially not in front of this many people. "I'm going head out for a bit. We need more snacks, right? I can head down to the supermarket to get some more. There should be one open. Yeah, I'll do that."

Minseok was babbling at this point and very much embarrassing himself in a room full of his friends and respected seniors, so he made the first wise choice of the night to shut his mouth and book it straight for Hyunjoon's front door, nearly tripping over Suhwan who was sitting on the floor by his feet. A rushed apology fell from Minseok's mouth but he continued his escape without meeting anyone's eyes, frantically reaching to grab his puffer jacket from the coat rack.

By then Moon Hyunjoon had caught up to him, stopping him with a hand on his shoulder that made Minseok jump.

"Minseokie, do you - do you want me to come with you?" Hyunjoon asked carefully, worry written all over his face. Minseok shook his head with a frown.

"I'll be okay, I just need a little air," Minseok said in a low voice, painfully aware of the awkwardness he had left behind. "I'm sorry for causing a scene on your birthday, Joonie."

"It's nothing to apologise for. I'm sorry, if anything. You wouldn't be here if it wasn't for me," Hyunjoon said, turning to look over his shoulder. Minseok didn't need to follow his eyes to know who they had landed on.

"What are you even talking about?" Minseok asked, pressing his lips together. Now he was making Hyunjoon feel guilty, on his birthday no less. "It's my screw up. Stay here and enjoy your party, I just need time to myself. I'll make it back in one piece, promise."

Hyunjoon frowned, unconvinced, but there was nothing he could really say to that without crossing a line Minseok had very clearly just laid down. So Hyunjoon just stepped away with a last doubtful look. "Don't stay out there for too long. It's cold tonight."

"I won't," Minseok said, relieved to shake off Hyunjoon and feeling a little guilty at his relief. Hyunjoon was just worried about him. "I'll be back before you know it."

Taking the elevator down and pushing out into the frigid Seoul night, Minseok felt like he could finally breathe for the first time. A light snow had begun to fall while he was inside, adding to the layer that had fallen several days ago, dusting everything like powdered donuts. It was going to be a white Christmas this year.

Minseok's phone told him that there was a supermarket several streets over that was luckily still open, and he set a path there. Moon Hyunjoon stayed in a relatively quiet neighbourhood in the outskirts of Seoul, and Minseok was one of only a handful of people out in the freezing night, the quiet only interrupted by the occasional passing car.

The snow crunched under his boots as he walked, and he sighed, watching a thick cloud float in front of him as he did. With the wind and cold to take off the edge of his anger and the numbness of the alcohol, his guilt only hardened, together with his shame and embarrassment. It was unbelievable how the short interaction with Minhyung earlier in the night still felt like such a shock to Minseok's system. It wasn't as though their break up had been messy — if anything it had been almost clinical, both of them too tired to fight what seemed to be their relationship's inevitable end.

But Minseok was just so used to running away from the slightest hint of uncomfortable emotions, and Minhyung's appearance tonight brought nothing but uncomfortable emotions. He was walking evidence of Minseok's shortcomings, of how Minseok had once prioritised his work and his selfish ambition to the point of turning away one of the most patient people he'd ever known. The last year of their relationship had been characterised by odd waking hours and lonely beds, work and life pulling the two of them in opposite directions until they had no choice but to fracture straight down the middle.

Minseok shoved his hands into his pockets, digging his nails into his frozen palms so that the pain could ground him. These thoughts belonged to the dead of night, to Minseok's cruel insomnia, forcing him to toss and turn between regret and letting go. These were not thoughts he wanted to be confronted with in the company of others, especially not the company of Minhyung. He'd thought he'd gotten over it already, but it was clear he still had a lot more work to do.

Minseok shook himself, and the feeling with it. He couldn't stay stuck like this. His and Minhyung's story had ended a long time ago.

The sound of footsteps hitting the pavement in the quiet night broke his thoughts, and Minseok glanced over his shoulder curiously. The figure jogging up to him was wrapped up tightly in a nondescript black puffer, from his feet all the way to the hood over his head, but Minseok would recognise the size and build of Minhyung anywhere.

Minseok froze. He couldn't exactly pretend to go on walking now that he had turned to look, and he definitely couldn't take off sprinting as much as he body was screaming at him to do. That would almost certainly rip apart whatever precarious civility which existed between him and Minhyung — well, whatever that was left after Minseok's antics a moment ago.

Minseok swallowed as he watched Minhyung hurry up to him, pushing down every complicated feeling that was rising in his chest. He had stopped just under a streetlamp, and the yellow-orange light poured over Minhyung as he stepped into its circle.

"Minseok," Minhyung said, a little breathy from having to catch up. He held a hand out, and Minseok realised belatedly that there was a scarf there. "You forgot this."

Minseok's mouth opened slightly as he looked down at the scarf. Minhyung hadn't seen Minseok come in from the cold, so he must have spied the brown scarf on Hyunjoon's coat stand and recognised it as Minseok's. He looked back up at Minhyung, and this close, he could see the flakes of snow caught in his carefully styled hair, his eyes looking almost hazel in the light. Something that felt curiously like grief hit Minseok, but it was just a scarf, and it was just Minhyung, and Minseok forced himself to swallow it down as he answered.

"I don't really need it. It's just a short walk," Minseok said, as steadily as he could manage.

"Still. It's cold tonight," Minhyung countered gently, the scarf still held out in offering. After earlier, Minseok was in no mood to argue further with him, and so he took it from Minhyung, carefully avoiding contact with his gloved hand. He wrapped it around his neck quickly, his body soaking up its remaining warmth from the apartment.

"I want to apologise, Minhyung," Minseok made himself say after a beat of silence, drawing some strength from the solidness of the woolen scarf, "for what I said earlier. You know how competitive I get. Not that it makes it okay or whatever, but yeah… yeah."

Minseok trailed off, realising too late that he was bringing up shared memories once again. With just a few words, Minseok had brought Minhyung unwillingly into the same sinking ship and tainted waters of recollection. But Minhyung's lips only quirked slightly.

"I know," Minhyung acknowledged, almost a little fond, and Minseok felt his heart leap in response. "In my defence, I really did miss, although I can see why you thought it was intentional. I think it would be less embarrassing if it was on purpose."

Minseok couldn't help his small smile at that, glance up to exchange a look with Minhyung, who was rubbing the back of his head sheepishly. It was a kind of forgiveness, the kind that always came easily between them, and it seemed time hadn't changed that at all.

"Minseok -"

"Minhyung -"

They both paused as they talked over each other. Laughter always came easily to Minseok, and he couldn't help it now, his chuckles dissipating in wisps of mist into the cold night.

"Ah - you first," Minhyung said politely, a smile of his own on his face. In that moment, Minseok suddenly forgot what he was going to say. All he knew was that he wanted this easiness to continue between them, not whatever oddness and tension that had surfaced back up in Hyunjoon's apartment.

"Would you like to walk with me? I was heading to the supermarket," Minseok said, a little surprised that he had dared to make the invitation at all. Under the yellow lights, Minhyung seemed surprised too, but the expression faded just as quickly.

Minhyung hummed. "Of course."

A wave of relief passed through Minseok, but now that his initial burst of courage was all used up, he didn't dare to look at Minhyung for a moment longer. He stuffed his hands in his jacket pockets and looked back down the path, suddenly feeling inexplicably nervous. "Sure. It should just be up ahead."

They fell into step as they had fallen into step maybe hundreds of time before, Minhyung deliberately shortening his stride to match Minseok as much as he always denied that he did. They walked in silence as the snow fell, the world feeling like it held its breath for a moment, and it was nice. It was oddly, unexpectedly nice. The silence was companiable, comfortable in a way that Minseok didn't think was possible between them any more, and there was a fledgling thought that was beginning to grow in the back of his mind. Maybe normal wasn't so out of reach after all.

"Ah - what did you want to say? Before I cut you off?" Minseok was the first to break the silence, as they came up to a traffic junction. They stood waiting for the light to turn green even though there were no cars around.

"Oh, right." Minhyung unzipped his jacket and reached in, fishing out a flat square that was wrapped prettily, Santa-hat wearing dogs leaping across the wrapping paper. "I got you something."

Minseok stared down at the present in his hand like it had personally offended him. God, of course Minhyung was the kind of person to get a Christmas gift for his ex, even if they hadn't spoken in months. Curse Minhyung's too-kind heart. Minseok hated him a little for being so unfairly nice, but the larger part of him was touched that Minhyung had thought of him at all.

"I can't accept it," Minseok said, turning to walk ahead when the light turned green. Minhyung joined him a moment later, caught off guard but not entirely surprised at Minseok's reaction. "I didn't even get you anything."

"I don't mind, Minseok. I just wanted to get you something." Minseok didn't have to turn to know that Minhyung was frowning. It was clear from his voice.

They stepped off the road and onto the corner that the supermarket was on, and Minseok waited until they were through the automated doors, the rush of warm air caressing his cheeks, before he replied.

"Hang on," he said, struck by inspiration as he looked out at the rows and rows of supermarket shelves. There was a small eating area right by the entrance, empty at this hour but perfect for Minseok's purposes. He gestured at it. "Wait for me here. I'll get you something."

Minhyung looked at him doubtfully. "Minseok, it really is okay -"

"Nope," Minseok rejected with a shake of his head. He pointed at the present still in Minhyung's hands. "You either let me get you something, or you take that present back with you."

"…Fine." Minhyung finally conceded with a roll of his eyes, trotting over to the seating area and pulling out a chair to sit. Minseok was a little shocked at his own daring, when just an hour ago the idea of talking to Minhyung made him feel a little light-headed, but time was a funny thing. Sometimes more could change in an hour than in a year.

"No peeking!" Was all Minseok said as he grabbed a basket for himself, wandering off into the supermarket aisles in search of his present.

Supermarkets, it turned out, weren't the best places to shop for Christmas presents, especially when there was someone you really wanted to impress. This wasn't even one of those fancy hypermarkets that sold everything under the sun, just plain old food and household supplies. Minseok didn't think Minhyung would find air fresheners or shampoo particularly appealing, but at least he knew Minhyung loved food.

In the end he found something that he could reluctantly settle for, given the limited options he was working with. He picked up a couple of bags of chips on the way, just so he could make good on his word to everyone that he had gone to the supermarket, and after a quick pit stop to the toilet, wound his way back to where Minhyung was sitting alone.

Minhyung looked up from his phone at the first rustle of plastic bags, and shot Minseok a small smile that almost had him falling flat on his face.

"Done with your shopping?" Minhyung asked in opening. Minseok placed the shopping bags on the table, finally unzipping his puffer and throwing it over the back of his chair like Minhyung had, electing to keep the scarf on a little self-consciously. He placed the bags containing the chips aside, fishing out the things from the other bag.

"It's not much, but I hope it's good enough," Minseok said in disclaimer, already prepared for Minhyung's disappointment. But Minhyung just looked thoughtful as he saw what Minseok had gotten, silent for a long moment before he looked back up with a surprisingly sober expression.

"Strawberries? And whipped cream?" Minhyung asked carefully, and Minseok wished for all the world that he could decipher what Minhyung was feeling.

"Think of it as a stand-in gift, before I get you something nicer." Minseok was quick to defend himself, squirming a little at his own inadequacies being exposed. Minhyung only shook his head.

"No, it's not -" Minhyung replied, cutting himself off with a shake off his head as his voice pitched softer. "You remember?"

Minseok felt for a moment like he had been shot through. Did Minhyung really think him so heartless, that he would forget something so obvious after such a short time? Minseok didn't think he could forget about Minhyung liking strawberries for the rest of his life, even if he wanted to. Not when they had five years of history together, and not when they had that one spring vacation in Jeju where they went strawberry and tangerine picking, the fruits ripe to bursting on their branches with dew still hanging onto them. Minhyung had bought a farm's worth of fruit back home for his family, so many that Minseok was afraid the car wouldn't make the journey back, and Minseok swore that whenever Minhyung kissed him that week, he could taste strawberries to the back of his throat.

Minseok didn't know how Minhyung ever expected him to forget about these things when Minhyung's fingerprints showed up in every nook and cranny of Minseok's life, a constant reminder of just what he had lost. Or maybe that was the kind of person Minseok had become in the tail end of their relationship, too jaded to care or remember about these things. The thought of that felt like swallowing a razor blade.

"It hasn't been that long, Minhyung," Minseok said softly, looking away. Minhyung's silence spoke for itself. It was the first mention of their breakup all night - all year, even - and it must've triggered as many memories for him as it did Minseok. Minseok hurried into his own seat, opening the box of strawberries and tearing the wrapping on the can of whipped cream off, frantically trying to clear the suddenly heavy atmosphere.

"A-anyway," he continued unsubtly, "I've washed the strawberries already, so they're ready to eat. Have a few, before you bring them back and Wooje inevitably steals the whole box."

Minhyung chuckled after a moment, and Minseok's shoulders relaxed half an inch. "Yeah, he would do that."

Minseok uncapped the whipped cream and picked out the juiciest-looking strawberry, squeezing the cream on top before holding it out for Minhyung. Belatedly he realised it looked like he was trying to feed Minhyung, but thankfully Minhyung chose the more civilised option of taking it with his hand. Not that it was much better. By now Minhyung had his gloves off, and it was impossible to stop their fingers from brushing, sending a tingle up Minseok's arm like a damned sheltered princess in a period drama.

Minseok had to fight not to shake the feeling from his hand as he made a strawberry for himself. Across from him, Minhyung hummed in appreciation as he bit into his treat. "Mm. It's sweet."

Minseok could barely hold back his flush as he ate his own strawberry. He kept wisely silent as they continued eating, afraid of what else the strangeness of tonight might make him say. They had settled into a temporary truce, and the sense of complacency felt dangerously close to trust.

In between his second and third strawberry Minhyung pushed his wrapped present across the table, attempting once again to get Minseok to accept it.

"Now you have to take this, Minseok," Minhyung said, and Minseok sighed. He had tried his best to dodge this, but any more would likely cross into actually hurting Minhyung's feelings. Minseok licked the juice off his fingertips before holding up the present gingerly to the light. The Santa dogs were tight lipped about the contents of the gift.

"You can open it if you want," Minhyung continued, and Minseok's eyes flickered to him. As much as he was excited to see what Minhyung had gotten him, he knew that it was going to blow his own emergency present clear out of the water. But Minhyung wasn't the type to hold these things against him.

"Fine, if you insist," Minseok eventually said reluctantly, with no other choice but to carefully tear open the packaging.

The first reveal of the gift was something black, and Minseok's eyes widened as read the word Whiplash across the cover, in an odd, futuristic font. Then his eyes truly popped out of their sockets when he recognised the signature there, scribbled in silver marker, with a "To Minseok:" written prettily on top and a short sentence of well wishes at the bottom.

Minhyung had gotten him aespa's EP, autographed by Winter and addressed to Minseok. Minseok's jaw dropped to the floor. He couldn't even begin to comprehend how hard this must have been to get, and Minhyung had gotten it for him anyway, even after they had broken up, probably because he had known how much it would mean to Minseok.

"I- I-" Minseok stuttered, still completely bowled over by the gift. "This is - this is too much. What the fuck?"

"Oh." Minhyung's face, carefully observant as he watched Minseok open his gift, shuttered at the perceived rejection. Oh God, Minseok had gone and put his foot in his mouth again, and he tripped over his own words trying to chase that sadness away from Minhyung's expression.

"No!" Minseok exclaimed, looking around and lowering his voice when he realised that that had come out louder than intended. "No, Minhyung, that- that wasn't at all what I meant. I really like the gift, I really, really do, I just - what the fuck? How the hell did you get Winter's signature? Why did you- Why?"

Why did you get this for me? Why now, why after everything? Minseok couldn't ask those questions, but he had a feeling that Minhyung understood anyway. Minhyung smiled softly, the tension in his shoulders easing in relief at Minseok's reassurance, and Minseok could feel his heart start beating again. Hope, that fickle, foolish emotion, was starting to plant itself in his chest.

"My sister met someone who was a mutual connection," Minhyung explained, covering his mouth self-consciously. "It wasn't hard at all to ask for a favour, don't worry."

"Your sister? Hayoung-noona?" Minseok guessed, figuring the guitarist would be the most likely to have that connection. Minseok realised belatedly how presumptuous he sounded referring to Minhyung's older sister like a friend, but Minhyung didn't call him out on it. There was only another complicated expression on his face, the look in his eyes nearly pinning Minseok down with their weight.

"Yes, Hayoung-noona," Minhyung only said softly, his words carrying far more weight than they had any right to. Minseok had a feeling he was surprised again at Minseok's memory, but the implications felt so much further. In their own way, memories were also a kind of care, and Minseok had known Minhyung and had cared - still cared - enough to commit these details to memory, as though he was consciously imprinting a part of Minhyung onto himself.

Minseok coughed awkwardly, trying to move the conversation along. His eyes fell to that detestable box of strawberries that looked like an absolutely awful gift now, and he leaned forward to try and swipe it. But Minhyung had somehow known what he was going to do and was faster, grabbing the box and tucking it protectively in his arms.

"Yah, Minhyungie." The name fell from his lips as naturally as breathing, and Minseok only faltered slightly before continuing. "Give that back. Now I really have to get you a better gift."

"No," Minhyung replied petulantly, biting down into another strawberry for good measure, adding to the small pile of leaves that was starting to collect on the table. "I like it and it's mine now. You can't take it away."

Minhyung looked exactly like a child throwing a tantrum, down to his puffed out cheeks, and Minseok stood up indignantly, his chair scraping against the floor noisily as he did. He rounded the table to Minhyung's side, trying to wrest the strawberries from Minhyung as he turned away, wrapping his whole body around his prize to try and protect it.

"Give it back!" Minseok exclaimed again, but it was breathless around his giggle, because this was truly ridiculous. He had no hope in competing on anything physical against Minhyung, and all he had succeeded in doing was running back and forth as Minhyung kept turning his back to deny him.

Finally he managed to get his hands on the box and was going to start tugging for it, but when he looked up, he realised that his face was terribly, terribly close to Minhyung's. Close enough to see the transparent line of contact lenses in his eyes, and close enough to see the way the strawberries had stained his bottom lip pink. Their eyes locked in a way that made Minseok's heart stop, and he let go quickly, stumbling back and frantically turning away.

Not for the first time, he wondered just who exactly Minhyung's girlfriend was. He'd wanted to ask around but held himself back, not wanting to look like the jealous or clingy ex. Whoever she was, Minseok was hit by the sudden, frantic wish that she loved him. That she loved him hard enough to deserve him, to give him the comfort that Minseok couldn't any more.

Belatedly, Minseok realised that he had completely overplayed his hand, every card that he had kept to his chest for so long now spilling haphazardly into the light. He had to leave. He had to leave now, before he risked losing Minhyung a second time.

"I- I- should head back," Minseok stammered, pulling on his jacket haphazardly and reaching for the bag of chips, not daring to look once at Minhyung. "Take your time here, I'll see you later."

"Minseok -" Minhyung stood quickly, but Minseok had already turned away, his steps quickening into something just short of a run as he fled from Minhyung for the second time that night, without so much as a turn of his head.

The snow had picked up since both of them left Hyunjoon's apartment, and it was falling with purpose now, the wind picking up fiercely and opposing Minseok in every step. In the sobering cold, Minseok realised now that his initial objective of waging a war was just plain stupid. He didn't want to fight Minhyung, not about this and not about anything. Minhyung's happiness should have been enough, never mind that it excluded him. That was Minseok's burden to bear, and no one elses.

Minseok had barely made it across the traffic junction before Minhyung passed him, cutting straight in his path to block his way. Minseok was tempted to side step him, but Minhyung's hands held him down by the shoulders, trapping him entirely.

"Minseok," he said sharply, out of breath from having to catch up. "Will you stop running?"

And Minseok didn't know what to say to that. Because the truth was, he couldn't. He had tried, for a handful of brief moments tonight, to stop and face Minhyung head on, but all that had left him was the taste of wine and saltwater and strawberries. Of memories and longing.

It was not a pleasant taste.

"I'm sorry I'm making you uncomfortable," Minhyung continued obliviously, letting go of Minseok slowly. "I know this is hard, but I would like for things between us to… be okay. Or at least try to. I'm sorry if I crossed a line."

"You're not," Minseok replied with difficulty. He might be an emotional wreck right now, but the least he could do was put Minhyung's worries to rest. He cleared his throat, feeling crystals there from the biting cold. "You're not making me uncomfortable, Minhyung."

Minhyung stepped backwards, putting some space between them so they were separated by a thin veil of snowflakes falling. Minseok didn't dare to look up and see what expression crossed his face then. Minhyung reached into the plastic bag he was holding, where Minseok's stupid strawberries still were, and pulled out the autographed album Minseok had left behind.

"You forgot this," Minhyung said, holding it out in offering. Minseok stared at it, wondering how fate could be so cruel to put someone as kind and unreachable as Minhyung in his life.

"Does she know?" Minseok asked instead, feeling his heart thundering. Enough was enough. Minseok couldn't take any more this nice guy act when Minhyung was going to go home to someone else tonight. "Does she know that you got this for me? Does she know you're here, wanting to make peace with your ex?"

The air around them turned as fragile as newly formed ice, and Minseok had to force himself to keep breathing steadily, his lungs aching at each pull of chilling ice. Minseok braced himself for the worse, and after what felt like a lifetime, Minhyung finally spoke.

"Minseok, who are you talking about?" Minhyung asked, and when Minseok's eyes snapped up to him, he was looking back down in complete confusion. Minseok felt his jaw tighten.

"Your girlfriend," Minseok hissed, the word coming out with more venom than intended. But Minhyung didn't take offence. If anything, he looked even more puzzled.

"I don't - I don't have a girlfriend?" Minhyung replied, voice ticking up at the end as if he was unsure himself, and Minseok blinked in surprised. Of all the revelations he had experienced tonight, this was the most unexpected.

"Then who is she? The one you're always with on Instagram?" Minseok followed up, realising now how much he sounded like a jealous and clingy ex. Horror of horrors, maybe because he was a jealous and clingy ex.

"Oh! Her?" Minhyung said in understanding. "She's just a friend of my sister's."

"But you have dinner with her, like, every night," Minseok protested, but it sounded weak to his ears. On hindsight now, he had a sinking feeling that maybe he'd jumped to a few too many conclusions. "She has hearts all over her Instagram stories with you! And you reposted them!"

"A-ah, is that true? I just thought she was trying to be cute," Minhyung answered sheepishly, scratching his cheek. Then some realisation must have crossed his mind, because he looked back at Minseok sharply. "No, wait, Minseok - is that was this is about? Did you think I was dating her?"

Minseok looked away, gritting his teeth against the sheer wave of embarrassment that threatened to overtake him. This whole time, he had been freaking out over someone who wasn't even real. It was a pity that Seoul wasn't by the sea, and he couldn't walk straight into the Pacific Ocean to drown himself.

"It was a perfectly natural conclusion to make," Minseok said stubbornly, figuring he might as well jump straight into his grave now that he had one foot in it. He stepped to the side, trying once again to escape, but Minhyung moved to block him again.

"No, Minseok, listen," Minhyung continued to explain. "My sister asked me to meet her because she's new to Seoul, and also living in Gangnam. That made it easy to meet for dinner. Any feeling there - if there's any - is all one-sided."

The second part of Minhyung's reply was a nice reassurance, but what his brain latched onto immediately was the first part.

"Gangnam?" Minseok repeated quietly, staring down at the album still in Minhyung's hands. Whiplash was definitely the theme of tonight. "You still live there?"

Gangnam, as in, where their shared apartment had been, the location chosen because it was an easy walk to Minhyung's office. Minseok had always thought he had been the bigger person by choosing to move out of the apartment instead of making Minhyung go through the trouble, but he'd half-expected Minhyung to move out as soon as he could anyway. He couldn't imagine Minhyung willingly waking up every day in the place they had once shared, the space for two now a little too big for one. It was half the reason why Minseok had taken his things and left in the first place.

Minseok didn't know how they had gotten here, but it felt like he was standing on the brink of a massive, massive revelation.

It was Minhyung's turn to dither on his answer, shifting from foot to foot before he spoke.

"Yes," Minhyung replied with a shrug, so quiet the word were almost swept away by the howling of the wind. But it still reached Minseok. Somehow, it still reached him. "I just renewed the lease, in fact."

Minseok opened his mouth, but no words came out. This was too much. This was more than Minseok could handle.

"It-" Minhyung kept going, apparently not done. "It's still looks pretty much the same, the furniture and all. The locks, too. I haven't changed those either."

Minseok's eyes jumped up to Minhyung's face in surprise. They were just out of where the light could reach them, and Minhyung looked a little grey under the shroud of night, but nothing could take away from the warmth and steadiness of his gaze, edged with a hint of trepidation.

He hadn't changed the locks. Minseok had left his set of keys on the table when he packed up and left, one afternoon when Minhyung had been at work, but that had been the spare set that he got copied. His original keys to their Gangnam apartment still sat on his keyring, extra and obsolete, because every time he went to try and pry it out, he strangely found it more trouble than it was worth.

Did Minhyung know that? Minseok didn't know. But Minhyung had kept the locks the same on the slim chance that Minseok might have kept the old keys and — what, might have wanted to come back? In case he had no where else to go?

Oh, Minhyung, that sentimental fool.

"You shouldn't have," Minseok replied blithely, his words carrying him faster than his brain could think. "What if I sneak in and steal something? What if I rob you blind?"

"Would you?" Minhyung's expression softened in a way that made Minseok's breath catch. "You could just ask me, you know. Whatever you want, I would just give it to you."

Minseok was surprised he heard the words at all over the blood rushing in his ears, but he did. Not just the words, but also everything that Minhyung had been trying to say all night, between red wine and aespa albums and locks in Gangnam that have not been changed, waiting for a second set of keys to come home. He could hear it now, and he finally understood.

"I quit my job," Minseok blurted out, the words forcing their way into the air between them before he could hold them back. He stunned even himself with his impulsiveness, but at this moment he couldn't find it within himself to care. "It's been four months. You're the first person I've told, not even my parents know."

Minseok made himself hold Minhyung's gaze, and he watched as Minhyung's eyes widened and he went painfully still. Minseok swallowed around the ice in his throat, the ice in his veins. There was a gust of wind that swept Minhyung's hood down, tousling his carefully styled hair with a mixture of cold and snowflakes. He didn't pull it back up.

"I-" Minhyung trailed off, looking a little lost in the wildness of the wind and snow. He suddenly seemed so very far away now. "Why?"

Next to his ear, the wind howled softly. Minseok had never felt so brave and so scared in his life. "Because. Because it was taking up too much of my life and asking me to sacrifice more than I wanted to. Things… things that I wished I never gave up."

He could see Minhyung's throat bob around his swallow. "You mean…?"

"Yes," Minseok said simply, feeling his heartbeat down to the tips of his fingers. "Yes. I - I'm sorry, Minhyung, for everything. I don't think I've ever said that, have I?"

"There's nothing to be sorry for," Minhyung replied quickly, his eyes too kind in the winter night. Minseok saw too much in them, and for the first time in a long time he felt hope unfurl within him, terrifying as it was exhilerating.

Something like understanding passed between them as they looked at each other, the silence only broken by their shallow breathing, Minseok painfully was aware of the precariousness of their situation, a teetering balance between all the painful memories of the past and the possibilities of the future. But Minseok didn't want to be careful, and he didn't want to be slow. He knew that if he fell, Minhyung would catch him anyway.

Minseok crossed the distance between them, testing each trembling step and finding his weight as tightrope walkers do. And riding on the adrenaline of his confession, fearless and clear-eyed in a way he had never been before, he looked straight up at Minhyung's pretty eyes, a stray snowflake caught in those long eyelashes that had so ensnared him all those years ago.

"Minhyungie," Minseok murmured, reaching out to weave his fingers into Minhyung's free hand. He could barely feel anything except for cold, but the sight of it was enough. "Do you want to get dinner? One of these nights?"

In response, Minhyung only pulled him in closer by the hand, and leaned down to kiss him.

It was, objectively, a bad kiss. Both their lips were chapped from the cold, and Minseok could barely feel Minhyung's mouth against his with how numb his face had gone. There must have been at least six inches of jacket padding separating them, but Minseok didn't care about any of that when Minhyung was kissing him, kissing him like he meant it with every fibre of his being, Minseok tasting strawberries with every brush of their tongues. Minhyung's breath on his face was warm, warm enough to melt Minseok's last doubts away, and Minseok couldn't help but loop his arms around Minhyung's neck, laughing into the small space between them as a particularly chilly gust of wind forced them to separate.

"That's a yes, by the way," Minhyung said, peppering kisses on Minseok's face, the dryness of his lips chafing where they brushed and making Minseok squirm. Minseok tried to push away with a giggle, but Minhyung only pulled him back in tighter, bending his head to kiss Minseok again. It was addicting, finally being allowed to do what he had been wanting all night - all year - and every press of their lips, of their mouths, felt like he was finally coming back home.

"Minhyungie." The name was like honey on Minseok's tongue as he reached one hand up to trace Minhyung's face. Minseok's fingertips were cold, and Minhyung's skin was cold, but the look that they shared was warmer than a Christmas hearth. "Minhyung. Minhyung."

"What?" Minhyung asked, turning his face to try and bite Minseok's fingers playfully. Minseok pulled them back with a laugh, staring up at Minhyung in wonder. There was still a lot left to be said between them, a lot of work needed to mend all the things that had broken their relationship, but for now this was enough. Minseok had Minhyung back, and everything else could wait.

"Kiss me again," Minseok demanded, under the snow and the streetlamps, and Minhyung did. He did, and he did, and he did.