Archive of Our Own ^beta

In hindsight, Reo supposes he doesn't have anyone to blame but himself.

It's been over five years since they graduated from high school, over five years since they started living together, and while Nagi has grown and changed a lot since they first met, there are some things that never change—like Nagi's endless disdain for household chores, for instance. He'll do them, of course, because even things that are a pain are still important, but he'll whine and complain all the while, because being important still doesn't change the fact that they're a pain. And whenever Reo is feeling particularly generous, Nagi never passes up the opportunity to let him take care of things instead.

So imagine Reo's surprise when, after asking if Nagi wanted him to just put all of their laundry in together, Nagi's eyes widened. They darted around furtively before landing just to the left of Reo's face as he mumbled a reluctant, "No, it's okay, I can do it myself."

Reo had just raised an eyebrow, replying with a simple, "If you're sure…" before leaving Nagi's room, but he couldn't shake the budding curiosity that had taken root the moment Nagi turned down his offer.

Because really, Nagi? Saying he'd do his own laundry after someone else had offered to do it for him? Reo thought that hell would have sooner frozen over, so either the devil was building a snowman, or Reo's assumption had been proven very wrong. In any case, Nagi had to be hiding something. That was the only possible conclusion Reo could come to, based on his reaction; nobody makes a face like that unless they've got a secret to keep.

Still, Reo figured it would only be a matter of time before he found out what Nagi was up to—they don't keep secrets from each other, not usually. They've long since learned the hard way what happens when they aren't completely open with one another, and they'd resolved to never let something like that happen again. So if Nagi had something he wasn't ready to tell Reo, then Reo would wait for as long as he needed to, because surely Nagi would tell him eventually.

Right?

Training started to ramp up after that, so Reo had mostly put the incident out of his head. After all, Nagi hadn't been acting particularly different from usual—a little clingier, perhaps, but they've always been like that—so Reo saw no reason to really pursue the matter.

Then, a couple of weeks later, he found one of Nagi's socks in his own laundry basket after taking his own clothes out of the dryer. Must've gotten lost at the back, Reo thought, before picking it out and making his way to the living area, fully intending to make it Nagi's problem. But when he got there, he found Nagi sprawled out on the couch in a position that surely couldn't be good for his back, fast asleep.

And usually Reo has no reservations about waking Nagi up to deal with his own shit, really. But their practice that day had been especially brutal, and Nagi had been working so hard as of late, and Reo just… couldn't bring himself to do it. So he decided to let Nagi rest, tiptoed into the hallway and paused in front of the door to Nagi's room.

He could just go in himself, slip the sock into Nagi's drawer and call it a day. He would, usually—it's not like Nagi usually tries to keep Reo out of there; if anything, he's always badgering Reo to spend time with him while they're home together, if neither of them are particularly busy.

But then he remembered the way Nagi's eyes had widened that day, the closest thing Reo's seen to fear in his eyes in a long, long time—and he hesitated.

He… he shouldn't, should he? Nagi clearly hadn't wanted him poking around for whatever reason, and Reo should respect that. He should just go back to his room, set the sock aside, and hand it over to Nagi once he's woken up from his nap.

But damn it if he wasn't curious! Who wouldn't be? Nagi hardly ever makes that sort of face, which means whatever he's been hiding must be a pretty big deal.

Ah, fuck it. He wouldn't look around, he'd just—go in, find the matching sock, and leave like he'd never been in there. Nagi wouldn't even have to know! He probably wouldn't even realize anything was ever amiss.

Carefully, Reo opened the door and made his way over to the dresser, kneeling down and pulling open the bottom drawer where Nagi kept his socks—after much pestering from Reo to please keep your shit in one place instead of scattering them all around the floor, seriously! He'd listened, thankfully, which made Reo's job a lot easier.

At least, it was supposed to. It had, until Reo's hand bumped against something a little too solid to be a sock inside the drawer as he was looking for a match to the one he'd found. And, well. Reo had always prided himself in his self-restraint, but even he had his limits. Limits that were always pushed to the brink whenever Nagi was involved.

He deliberated only briefly before digging a little deeper until his palm hit something… velvety, it seemed. Slowly, he let his fingers close around the object, small enough to fit in his palm, and realization slammed into him like a freight train. Or ten freight trains. His heart dropped into his stomach so fast that he felt like he might be sick.

Surely, it couldn't be what he thought it was, right?

With trembling fingers, he pulled the object out from beneath the pile of socks that had concealed it, fingers gripped so tightly around it that his knuckles had turned white. Then, after a slow, shaky breath, he turned his palm up and unclasped his fingers to reveal a small box, its surface lined with a lovely dark blue velvet—the kind of box that usually houses a precious piece of jewelry. Dread pooled in his stomach, heavy and viscous, and before he could think any better of it—before he could think to preserve even a modicum of his own heart—he flipped the lid of the box open.

And god, sometimes Reo really hated being right. He wasn't sure whether he wanted to laugh or cry. Maybe both.

The universe must have a fucked up sense of humour, because why else would Reo have found a ring hidden in Nagi's sock drawer? Why else would this have been the way he had to find out that Nagi apparently had someone else that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with?

And there, right at the top of the pile, was the lone sock that had been missing its partner. Hah, what cruel, cruel irony. Reo did his best to swallow past the lump in his throat, ignoring the sting in his eyes as he shoved the box back into the drawer, haphazardly throwing a bunch of socks over it before folding the missing pair back together, sticking it right at the top and all but slamming the drawer shut.

So that was it, then. Nagi was hiding a ring—except it was much more than that, wasn't it? Nagi wasn't just hiding a ring; he was hiding an entire relationship. An entire part of his life that Reo hasn't been privy to for fuck-knows-how-long. Long enough for him to decide that he wanted to devote the rest of his life to this mystery person, apparently.

How had Reo never realized? How had Reo never noticed that, somewhere along the way, despite all the time they'd spent glued at the hip, someone else had caught Nagi's eye? How, how had Reo ever thought he might have stood a chance?

Stay with me until the end. Wasn't that what Nagi had said, all those years ago? But until the end of what, exactly? Reo hadn't known, even as he promised—even as Nagi insisted that he promise. Reo thinks he would've promised his life. Reo thinks he still would, if that was what Nagi asked for. His heart, his world, his everything. Anything for his treasure.

Was he wrong, then? Did Nagi just want to stay together for as long as they played soccer? The World Cup is fast approaching—is he planning to propose after that? To retire after they win, and then run off with his new fiancé? And what of Reo? Would he just be left to pick up the pieces of his broken heart, waving Nagi off with a smile even as the jagged edges dug painfully into his hands?

And now he had to just—sit with this knowledge and pretend that everything was fine. Normal. Because Nagi didn't know that Reo knew. And he wouldn't. He couldn't. Reo wasn't going to stand in the way of Nagi's happiness because of his own unrequited feelings. He wanted Nagi to chase after what he wanted, even if what he wanted wasn't Reo. He would be fine with that, as long as Nagi was happy. He had to be.

Somewhere, someone out there must have been laughing really, really hard at Reo. All because of a stupid sock.

Curiosity killed the cat, or so the saying goes. But this time, Reo doesn't think any amount of satisfaction is going to bring it back.

Between Reo, Kunigami, and Chigiri, Kunigami's apartment is the closest, so as soon as Reo had pulled himself together enough to form a thought that wasn't just some iteration of Nagi is in love with somebody else, he did what any sane person in his situation would do and called an emergency meeting, stopping only to drape a blanket over Nagi's sleeping form because he's a weak, weak man before bolting out of the apartment like a coward.

Now, he flits around Kunigami's kitchen, methodically pouring drinks for the three of them just to give himself something to do. Kunigami, to his credit, lets him, although he watches Reo with no small amount of concern from his seat at the table. He's also locked the liquor cabinet, just to be safe—not that Reo had been planning on drinking himself into a stupor, anyhow. He might be heartbroken, but he's not stupid enough to show up to their next practice nursing the world's worst hangover.

"So," comes Chigiri's voice from the entryway, because Kunigami had the good sense to lock his liquor cabinet but not his front door, apparently, "are you going to explain what that cryptic text was all about, or are we going to have to pry it out of you?"

"I was getting to that," Reo says miserably as he sets three glasses on the table and slumps down in the seat next to Kunigami. His voice must give him away, because Chigiri immediately backs off; his brow is furrowed in concern when he walks into the kitchen, taking the seat across from Reo. He takes a sip of his drink, and Reo pretends not to notice the questioning look he gives Kunigami over the top of his glass.

Reo picks up his own glass, but he doesn't drink; he just stares down at its contents, swirling them around as he tries to collect his thoughts. After a moment, Kunigami prompts him gently, "Reo, what happened?"

"I think I saw something I shouldn't have," Reo says quietly. It's not an answer, not really. He thought he'd stopped running away, all those years ago; now, he feels like he's no better than he was when he was seventeen and afraid for the first time—afraid of losing the one thing he'd ever wanted to chase after. Then, a little stronger, "I found—a ring, earlier. In Nagi's room."

Chigiri and Kunigami exchange another look, perplexed. Chigiri's the one to turn to him first, an eyebrow raised.

"Are congratulations in order, then?"

What?

"Congratulations for what," Reo spits once he gets over the initial befuddlement of Chigiri's question. "What's there to celebrate?"

Now Chigiri and Kunigami are both frowning in confusion. Reo feels like he's two seconds from breaking down in hysterics.

"But you're—" Kunigami starts, looking helplessly at Chigiri before trying again, "You make it sound like this is a bad thing."

"Of course it is!" Reo slams a hand against the table which causes it to shake, the drinks wobbling precariously. His voice comes out too loud, too harsh; he can't stop the words from tumbling out, can't stop his heart from shattering in his chest as he says, "Nagi has a girlfriend!"

"No he doesn't," Chigiri and Kunigami say immediately. They're so in sync that it'd be funny if Reo weren't currently having a meltdown.

"The fuck do you mean, 'no he doesn't,'" Reo demands, actually in hysterics now. "He has a boyfriend then, is that it?"

"He sure thinks he does," Chigiri mutters. Kunigami elbows him roughly. Before Reo can ask what the fuck that's supposed to mean, Kunigami speaks up.

"Reo, have you ever actually told Nagi how you feel? Properly?"

Is that even a question? "Of course not!" Reo pointedly ignores Chigiri's hissed I fucking told you so! as he continues, "And clearly that was a good idea, seeing as he's already got somebody else. Why would I say anything when he obviously doesn't feel the same way?"

Nobody responds right away. Chigiri looks like he wants to say something—several things, even—but he just takes a long, slow sip of his drink. Kunigami looks similarly conflicted, shifting slightly in his seat as he chews at his lip, as though weighing his next words carefully.

They both look like they know something that Reo doesn't. Reo hates the way that thought makes his stomach twist.

"I think…" Kunigami starts slowly, carefully, like he's approaching a spooked animal. Reo doesn't know if he's grateful for the consideration or if he wants to break something; it makes him feel fragile. "You need to ask Nagi about that ring yourself."

"You make it sound so easy," Reo laughs bitterly. It really, really isn't; just the thought of Nagi telling Reo directly that he's in love with someone else makes him feel like someone's lodged a knife in his chest, right where his heart is. "What if it goes badly?"

"But what if it doesn't," Chigiri retorts, and there's an odd sort of urgency to his voice that borders on desperation. And somehow, for all his stubbornness, for all his certainty, Reo finds that he can't quite come up with an answer to that question.

"Reo, do you trust Nagi?" Kunigami asks abruptly, and this time, the answer comes easily.

"Of course I do," Reo says immediately, because it's the truth.

"And do you think that Nagi trusts you?"

"I do." Then, a little smaller, a little more hesitant, "At least, I thought he did." Reo sighs, letting his forehead drop onto his arms atop the table. "I've known he's been hiding something for a little while now. I figured he had a good reason for keeping it from me, and that he'd tell me eventually. I don't… he wouldn't hide something like that from me because he wanted to hurt me."

"Of course he wouldn't," Chigiri declares. "But that reminds me, how did you even find the ring, anyway? Surely even Nagi's smart enough to know not to keep something like that out in the open."

Reo groans. "Found it in his sock drawer while I was putting away a lost sock that I found in the dryer."

Chigiri barks out a laugh. "His sock drawer? Is he stupid? As soon as you both get this mess sorted out I'm gonna give him shit for that."

Despite himself, Reo lets out an amused little huff. Next to him, he can hear Kunigami let out a small chuckle as well.

"I'll… think about it," Reo finds himself saying. He lifts his head up and leans back in his chair, letting his fingers drum against the tabletop. "About how to approach Nagi."

"About fucking time."

Kunigami elbows Chigiri again and ignores his indignant protests. "Trust your relationship with him, Reo. Nagi… he's definitely come a long way, but there are still some things that he seems to think you just know, even without him saying them."

"Or he thinks he's saying one thing, but it flies completely under the radar for everyone else," Chigiri pipes up. "And then he's surprised when nobody else knows what the fuck he's talking about."

"Don't I know it," Reo says, a wry grin tugging at his lips. He props his arm up on the table so he can rest his head against his hand. "Though I like to think I've gotten pretty good at reading him over the years."

"Even so, you need to talk to him." Kunigami puts a reassuring hand on Reo's shoulder. "You guys have always been a little… strange—" here, Chigiri snorts; Kunigami pays him no mind as he continues, "—but surely even you guys haven't managed to unlock the ability to communicate telepathically."

"Though if anyone could do it, it'd probably be them," Chigiri muses. "Just look at them when they're on the field together."

Reo chuckles, face feeling a little warm. "I get it, I get it." His smile softens, and he meets their eyes when he says, "Thank you. For, uh, hearing me out. And for coming here on such short notice."

"Don't thank Kunigami for that last bit, he lives here!"

Kunigami rolls his eyes, but he's smiling. "We've got your back, Reo. You know that." Across the table, Chigiri nods in agreement.

"Yeah, I do."

Chigiri grins, then downs the rest of the drink. "With that settled, I have got to know what you put in this. Reo, did you mix this? You always make stupidly good drinks when you're sad and I have no idea how you do it."

Reo snorts. There's still a layer of unease lingering in the pit of his stomach, but his heart feels a little lighter than it did when he'd left his and Nagi's shared apartment earlier.

Even if Kunigami and Chigiri are wrong about Nagi's relationship—or lack thereof—they are right about one thing: Reo needs to ask Nagi about it himself. And then whatever happens from there…

Well. Reo doesn't want to think about it just yet, but he'll figure it out eventually.

He always does.

Nagi drapes himself over Reo's back as soon as he walks into their apartment. He doesn't even have the decency to wait until Reo's taken off his shoes.

"Reo," Nagi whines, "where'd you go? I woke up and you were gone."

Fuck. Reo realizes with a sudden sort of horror that in his panic, he'd completely forgotten to come up with a cover story.

"I just…" He pauses to think, toeing his shoes off and placing them on the rack with considerably more difficulty thanks to the added weight on his back—Nagi still doesn't seem to be aware of just how much their training has done for his build. Helplessly, Reo is reminded of a grown dog that's convinced it's still a puppy. "…went to take a walk. I needed to clear my head." It's not entirely a lie, at least.

Nagi hums, sounding slightly concerned. He picks himself up, and Reo barely has a second to breathe before Nagi's hands are on his shoulders and spinning him around, and then Nagi is tilting his head this way and that, examining him intently as Reo tries not to squirm under the attention. "You look upset. Did something happen earlier?"

For all his obliviousness, Nagi sometimes picks the strangest times to be oddly perceptive. Reo is kind of cursing that tendency right about now, because this is the one time he'd been hoping that Nagi wouldn't be able to see through him.

"Not really," Reo lies through his teeth, because for all his earlier resolve, he still doesn't quite know how to ask the question sitting right on the tip of his tongue, ready to spill out at a moment's notice. "Just stressed. We've got a crazy few weeks ahead of us."

Nagi watches him quietly for a moment longer, as though he knows that Reo's not telling him everything and he's trying to decide whether to call him out for it or not. Reo, for his part, tries not to feel too much like a hypocrite; he knows they can't hide things from each other forever—that's where the problems begin.

But he still doesn't know how to ask—who is that ring for? Is Nagi in love with them? When Nagi thinks about the future, is there still any place for Reo in it, even after they've made their dreams a reality? Or does their story really end at a World Cup victory?

The questions weigh heavily on him, yet no matter how hard he searches, he can't quite seem to find the right words for them. He can only hope, as Nagi's eyes trace over his expression, that they aren't written across his face, either.

In the end, Nagi doesn't press the issue. Instead, he grabs Reo's wrist and tugs him along into the apartment.

"I got hungry while you were out, so I made dinner," Nagi is saying, "but it might be a bit cold now, so we'll have to reheat it."

As if on cue, Reo feels his stomach rumble. When his eyes drift over to the dining table, he spots two plates of food covered with plastic wrap.

Wait, two?

"You didn't eat yet?"

"Mm." And here, Nagi brings a hand up to the back of his neck, suddenly unwilling to meet Reo's eyes. The tips of his ears have turned slightly red. "I wanted to eat together, so…"

Warmth swells within Reo's chest, affection bubbling up so dangerously he worries it might spill over without his permission. Despite being hungry enough to get dinner started on his own, Nagi still waited for Reo to come back home. What the hell is Reo supposed to do with that?

And what about Nagi's soon-to-be-fiancé? Isn't this the kind of thing he should be doing for them, instead?

Reo quickly shuts down that train of thought. Whatever the case, Nagi still made dinner for them, hoping they could spend time together as they ate it, and Reo will be damned if he doesn't make sure to savour the gesture for all it's worth while he still has the chance.

"My treasure is so considerate!" Reo reaches out so he can wrap one arm around Nagi's shoulders, ruffling his hair with his free hand in the way that always drags out halfhearted protests from Nagi even as he lets Reo continue to have his way. It's surprisingly easy to fall back into normalcy, despite the remaining uncertainty that's firmly planted itself in the back of his mind.

Nagi preens under the attention, soaking up the praise like a sponge as he leans into Reo's touch. "I worked really hard," he agrees, and Reo can only laugh, warmth spreading through his body from every point of contact between them. Like this, he can almost imagine that he's the one Nagi wants to spend the rest of his life with—not just his soccer career, but everything that comes after that as well.

The warmth lingers as they reheat their meals—a simple stirfry that Nagi had cobbled together with the ingredients they had left in the fridge; Reo makes a mental note to drag Nagi out to buy some more groceries later in the week. They sit a little closer than strictly necessary as they eat, knees knocking beneath the table. At some point, Reo traps one of Nagi's legs between his own; Nagi just lets out a pleased hum and continues eating.

It's so domestic that it makes Reo's heart hurt. They aren't doing anything different than usual, but for once, he's conscious of the nature of their exchanges—the easy intimacy that comes with having lived together for years, and with having known each other for even longer. It's something he's taken for granted until now, something that he'd assumed, somewhere in the back of his mind, he would always have.

He doesn't want to lose this, but ultimately that isn't his decision to make.

After they finish eating, Nagi tugs Reo over to the couch with an unexpected insistence. Once Reo's settled in, Nagi grabs a blanket, tucks himself against Reo's side, and tosses the blanket over the both of them before grabbing the TV remote and putting on a movie—a romcom that Reo's pretty sure came out fairly recently, but that he can't quite remember the name of.

Reo does his best to pay attention to the movie, if only to distract himself from the warmth of Nagi pressed up against him, so close that he can feel more than hear every breath that Nagi takes, but it only serves to make him feel even more self-conscious. Of all the films Nagi could have chosen, why a romance? Why now, when Reo's feelings are in complete disarray?

It's a little unfair, how unaffected Nagi seems to be by all this. Reo supposes it's to be expected; Nagi's not the one cuddled up against the object of his affection while a romance storyline plays out before his eyes, after all. Reo would complain if it didn't mean exposing the secret he's kept tucked so close to his chest for so long—his greatest weakness, his biggest failure.

Toward the end of the movie, Nagi falls asleep, his weight fully resting against Reo. He looks so peaceful, so content; like this, Reo is free to stare all he likes without fear of getting caught, so he spends the rest of the film tracing over Nagi's features with his eyes—over pale lashes that fan over his cheekbones, along the slope of his nose, down to the slight pout of his lips, slightly parted. His fingers flex where they rest at his side, and he wishes he could trail them along Nagi's face, along every part of Nagi's body that he'd be willing to grant Reo access to. They're no strangers to physical contact, not by a longshot, but there's still a certain line of intimacy that Reo isn't willing to cross, not when it won't mean the same thing to Nagi as it will for Reo.

By the next time he glances over at the screen, the credits are already rolling. With a sigh, Reo reaches over to grab the remote and turn the television off before turning back to Nagi. As unwilling as he is to wake Nagi up, Reo's even more unwilling to spend the night on the couch, especially when they have training early the next morning, so he nudges Nagi's shoulder gently, receiving a quiet groan in return. Shaking his head fondly, Reo shifts on the couch, chuckling at Nagi's whines of protest as he repositions them so he can pull Nagi to his feet. Nagi slumps heavily against him, making it nearly impossible to walk, but somehow they manage to stumble over to Nagi's bedroom.

Reo all but deposits Nagi on his bed, staying just long enough to make sure that Nagi's settled in properly and not contorted in a position that'll have him whining and complaining in the morning about how sore everything is. When he turns to leave, though, a hand shoots out to catch him by the wrist.

"Stay," Nagi murmurs, voice rough and heavy with sleep, and warmth blooms in Reo's chest at the same time a nauseating mix of guilt and dread stirs in his stomach.

It's not the first time Nagi has asked him to stay; it wouldn't be the first time they've shared a bed, either. But after finding the ring in Nagi's drawer, after realizing Nagi might have someone else who should be lying there beside him instead…

Reo spent the first sixteen years of his life having everything he wanted fall into his hands; he's spent the last eight years chasing after a dream, the first thing he's ever wanted to attain by his own efforts. He knows how to be greedy, he knows how to reach out and take, and god does he want to be selfish right now. He wants nothing more than to fall into bed beside Nagi, to wrap his arms around him and never let go.

But this time, Reo knows he can't be selfish. This time, being selfish will only end in heartbreak—for both of them.

So Reo tugs his wrist free and steps back, watching Nagi's hand fall back onto the mattress.

"I can't," he whispers, so quietly that he's not even sure if Nagi can hear him. He leaves the room without another word, shutting the door softly before leaning his forehead against it.

"I'm sorry."

For better or for worse, nothing really changes after that.

And that, perhaps, is the strangest thing of all. Despite supposedly having someone important enough to want to propose to, Nagi is still as ridiculously clingy as he's always been, latching onto Reo whenever the opportunity presents itself. Reo almost wants to push him off, to tell him to cling to his lover instead; but Reo is selfish, Reo is desperate, Reo is in love and now that he knows his partnership with Nagi has an expiration date, he wants to make the most of their remaining time together before he loses everything they once were.

On top of that, Nagi doesn't really do a whole lot of… going out and seeing anybody else. Reo knows, because if they aren't at home together, they're at practice, and if they aren't at practice, they're out together, either by themselves or with their friends and teammates. And on the odd occasion where Reo does go out by himself, Nagi resolutely stays home, presumably to nap or play whatever game's caught his fancy at the time.

Reo supposes Nagi could invite someone over while he's out, though he tries not to entertain the thought for longer than humanly possible because it makes his stomach turn. But whenever he gets back, there's absolutely no trace of anyone else having ever been in their apartment: no unfamiliar scents, no unfamiliar objects or articles of clothing, nothing. So either this mystery person is really good at cleaning up after themself, or they never visited to begin with.

But if Nagi's never seeing this partner of his, then how do they communicate? Is it a long-distance thing, so they can only communicate over text or call? It's possible, but Reo's never heard Nagi make any phone calls at odd hours, nor has he seen him particularly preoccupied with texting anybody while they're together.

All in all, the whole situation just leaves Reo more confused by the day. Everything is so normal that he's beginning to wonder if he just hallucinated the whole encounter with the ring in the first place.

(And if it weren't for the fact that Chigiri keeps making all sorts of faces at him when Nagi isn't looking, glaring a have you asked him yet-shaped hole into Reo's head at every practice, Reo might actually be able to convince himself that it never happened.)

Until a few days later, when Reo realizes that he can't find his massage gun in the spot where he usually leaves it, and so he knocks once on Nagi's door, hand already turning the doorknob and a question on the tip of his tongue when—

"Ah, wait—"

Reo freezes, stunned by the frantic urgency colouring Nagi's voice, a tone that he usually doesn't hear except in the heat of a particularly intense match. There's a faint sound of rustling and rattling, and then footsteps that get closer and closer until Nagi is cracking the door open, nearly pulling Reo—whose hand is still on the doorknob—in with it.

"Um." Reo says eloquently. "Is now a bad time?"

Nagi, for once, looks unexpectedly and equally disoriented. Reo's traitorous brain begins to conjure up reasons for why that might be the case. "No, it's fine," he mumbles, but the tips of his ears are turning red—a telltale sign that he's either embarrassed or lying. Reo feels his face flush to match. "Did you need something, Reo?"

"I was just wondering if you'd seen my massage gun…?"

"Ah." Nagi's eyes light up with recognition; he disappears behind the door again, and Reo can hear him rummaging around before he returns with the massage gun in hand, passing it over to Reo. "Sorry, I borrowed it earlier and forgot to put it back."

"That's fine, I said you could use it whenever you needed."

"Yeah."

"…"

The silence that fills the air between them as they stand there in the doorway is—well, there's really no other way to describe it than awkward. It's not a feeling that Reo's particularly used to, not with Nagi; the silences between them are usually more companionable, comfortable. Reo, for all his practice in defusing social situations, finds himself at a loss.

"Well!" He squeaks, cursing the way his voice comes out at such a high pitch. "I'll let you get back to your… whatever it was that you were doing."

"Mhm." Even Nagi's cheeks look a little rosy now. "Thanks." Then, after a pause, "For the massage gun."

"Anytime," Reo chokes out, and then he's whirling around on his heel and rocketing back down the hallway and into his own room so he can bury his face into his pillow and scream.

For once, he sincerely hopes that he's reading the situation wrong, if only so he can avoid the mortification of knowing that he probably interrupted Nagi at a time where he… very much would have liked to be left alone.

He puts his massage gun on the highest setting that day, hoping it might drown out the thoughts about what Nagi could possibly be up to a couple rooms over.

(As soon as he hears Reo's door slam shut, Seishiro leans back against the door and lets himself slide down until he's seated on the ground.

"That was way too close…"

Once his heart rate has settled, he picks himself up and shuffles back over to his desk, where a piece of paper lies with its contents face down. He flips it over, frowns, scribbles out the last few words he's written, and starts again on the next line.

Finding the right words to describe his feelings has always been difficult, but if it means he can spend the rest of his life with Reo, then it'll be well worth the effort, he's sure of it.)

After what happened a few weeks earlier, one would think that Reo would have learned from his mistakes, but he must be a sucker for punishment because he does the exact thing he swore he'd never do ever again, at least until he got answers from Nagi.

He's emptying out the trashbins around the apartment and naturally, there's a trashbin in Nagi's room as well. Nagi's in the shower when Reo gets there, and he figures there's no harm in emptying it out himself. Surely there wouldn't be any more… surprises, would there?

Reo is really starting to believe the universe has it out for him, because his eyes land on Nagi's desk first, and they catch on a sheet of paper that's been set face down.

And he hadn't meant to look, honestly—purposefully snooping was a new low, even for him. But then he notices the crumpled up pieces of paper that fill the trashbin next to the desk, and there's only so much wondering a person can take before they actually explode into a million pieces.

Reo still doesn't dare to move the page on Nagi's desk, but he's here to empty the trashbin anyway; what's the harm in checking the contents of one that Nagi's already discarded?

There's really no explanation for his behaviour other than pure, unadulterated self-loathing, Reo thinks, as he uncrumples the paper and finds himself face to face with Nagi's scratchy handwriting scattered around the page amidst a mess of scribbles.

I'm not the best with words, but I know they're important, so I spent a lot of time trying to find the right ones to tell you how I feel. I've been working really hard, so I hope you'll praise me after. Don't be lame.

After we met, things changed for me. I didn't realize it at first, but I started wanting to get up in the morning because it meant I would get to see you. Even though you were always so loud before I fully woke up. Not the time to be complaining.

…

Reo feels his blood run cold; he crumples the paper back up, tosses it into the bin, and dashes out of the room without even bothering to empty it out. He barely remembers to shut the door behind him.

That was a love letter. Or a script. A proposal script, Reo realizes, and he feels the knife in his heart dig in a little deeper, twist a little further. Nagi really is planning to propose to someone—someone important enough that he's trying to plan out what he wants to say despite often being careless with his words because he wants it to be perfect for them.

A bitter, watery laugh warbles out of him. God, he's so pathetic. He never even stood a chance. He'd known that, of course he had—he'd known for a long time.

But seeing the paper, seeing proof that Nagi's been working so hard for this person that Reo still doesn't even know… that really hammered it home, somehow.

That's it. He needs to ask. If his heart is going to be broken anyhow, he'd rather just deal the final blow himself.

And once the damage has been done, he'll piece himself back together, and he'll finally run toward that World Cup victory the way he always should have: with his eyes facing forward, not sparing more than a passing glance for the person who's always been by his side.

Of course, Reo really should have expected that nothing would go according to plan.

He'd meant to confront Nagi after practice the next day, once they were safely in the confines of their apartment—except, before they even left for practice, Nagi told Reo that he'd wanted to go out after, which was unthinkable, to say the least. Nagi usually doesn't want to go anywhere except back home, and even when he agrees to go out, he certainly isn't the one pitching the idea. Reo was so surprised that he'd only been able to nod dumbly, which earned him a pleased look that made his traitorous heart kick up a fuss in his chest.

Practice is the same as it always is, but every time they have a moment to spare between drills, Reo catches Nagi glancing his way. Even their teammates pick up on it, if the confused looks Reo gets from Chigiri, Kunigami, and even Isagi are anything to go by. It doesn't affect their training, though, so nobody comments on it outright.

When they're done for the day, they quickly run home to wash off and get changed, and no sooner has Reo buttoned up his shirt than Nagi is grabbing his hand and tugging him toward the entryway with an eagerness that's usually reserved for nights in, arcade trips and soccer matches. Reo doesn't even know where Nagi is bringing them, but lets himself be led anyway, because even after all these years, he's still weak to Nagi's whims.

Nagi brings them to a cozy family-owned restaurant, one they've frequented in the past with their teammates on their days off. They haven't visited recently—Reo remembers wistfully mentioning that he wanted to go back when they had the chance, not too long ago. Did Nagi remember that? Is that why he brought them there? Reo tries really hard not to think about what that might mean.

Once they've eaten to their hearts' content, Nagi leads them along a familiar route, and it isn't long before they find themselves sitting side-by-side on the riverbank that had once been their spot, back when they were still young and brimming with all the naïve optimism of dreamers who hadn't yet run into the wall known as reality. Lining the path above, the cherry blossoms are in full bloom; pale pink petals dance in the wind and decorate the water's surface, lazily drifting along with the current.

Reo's not sure how long they spend sitting there, reminiscing about their high school days until their quiet chatter dissolves into a companionable silence that engulfs them in their own little bubble, carving out a space meant only for the two of them. Nagi rests his head in Reo's lap, eyes closed and expression unguarded, content as Reo runs his fingers through the soft strands of his hair, picking out cherry blossom petals and letting the breeze sweep them away.

If he were younger, he might have made a wish with every petal carried off by the wind; now, he only wishes that time could freeze, even just for a moment—to let them stay like this for just a little bit longer.

If Reo didn't know better, he'd say it almost felt like they were on a date.

But he does know—someone else is already waiting for Nagi. It's not something that was ever meant for Reo.

"Reo, is something wrong?"

A hand on his cheek, cool and comforting, startles him out of his thoughts; Nagi's thumb brushes over his cheekbone, and for one mortifying moment, Reo wonders if he's started crying without realizing.

He hasn't, but there's a lump forming in his throat that's making it hard to speak, a telltale prickle in his eyes that he quickly blinks away.

He doesn't answer right away; he can't. He doesn't know how to.

How do you tell someone you miss them when they're right next to you?

"Nothing's wrong," Reo answers eventually, even though his heart still feels like it's breaking in two. He tries for a smile, but it feels humiliatingly brittle. "Being here just brings back a lot of memories."

Nagi hums. "Good ones, or bad ones?"

Reo shrugs. "Both, I guess."

Nagi's expression doesn't change, not really, but there's a slight furrow in his brow, a slight downward tug of his lips. Then, he sits up, takes one of Reo's hands in both of his own and clasps it tightly. It doesn't take a genius to know what he must be thinking about.

"I'm here, Reo," he murmurs, pressing his forehead to Reo's hand. "I'm not going anywhere."

Aren't you, though? Reo doesn't dare ask. He just exhales shakily, and lets the quiet trickle of the river wash over them. Lets the silence fill with all the words he cannot bring himself to say.

They begin their walk home just as the sun begins its descent, pale blue giving way to vibrant shades of orange and pink that make everything they touch appear to glow. Nagi is as ethereal in the sunset as he was the day Reo first met him; now, more than ever, he feels untouchable, even with his hand clasped firmly in Reo's.

The setting sun feels like a countdown; Reo is afraid to find out what will happen when it reaches zero.

More time, it always feels like he's asking for more time. Even forever doesn't feel like enough.

But time continues mercilessly in its unceasing forward march, and it's not long before they arrive back at the entrance to their apartment. Nagi's grip tightens around Reo's hand even as he reaches for his key and unlocks the door, as though he isn't ready for the day to end, either. There's a slight tremble to it—though what could possibly be making Nagi nervous, Reo isn't sure.

Before Reo can say—something, anything, Nagi asks him to wait on the couch, not even letting Reo respond before disappearing down the hallway. Equal parts confused and curious, Reo can only comply, walking over to the living area in a daze and sitting himself down at the end of the couch.

Before long, Nagi returns with his hands shoved in the pocket of his hoodie, looking oddly nervous. He doesn't quite meet Reo's eyes, his gaze landing just around his shoulder; he shifts his weight from one foot to the other, like he's full of restless energy that can't find any other way to escape.

Then he takes a breath and lowers himself to one knee, and Reo swears his heart stops beating altogether.

"Um." Nagi clears his throat. "Did I do that too soon? I'm gonna have to say everything like this now… Oh well." He finally meets Reo's eyes, and any words Reo might still have had left to say die on the tip of his tongue when he sees the determination that shines in Nagi's eyes. "I know I'm not always the best with words. I used to think that you would just know what I was thinking without me having to say anything, but I learned a long time ago that words can be really important, so I… spent a lot of time trying to find the right ones. To tell you how I feel."

Reo's eyes widen; he knows these words. He's read these words, these words that aren't meant for him.

Everything clicks into place at once: the lunch, the cherry blossoms and the riverside stroll, all of it. A feeling that's not quite foreign, not quite familiar, begins to simmer just below the surface of his skin. Nagi, oblivious to the gears rapidly turning in Reo's brain, keeps going.

"My life changed the moment I met you, even if I didn't realize it at first. I started wanting to get up in the morning because it meant I would get to see you. I saw how hard you worked, and it made me want to do my best, too. You were my guiding light, even when we weren't together. You were my goal."

Reo can only look on in shock as Nagi finally pulls his hand out of his pocket—and with it, the small velvet box that had set everything in motion, all those weeks ago.

And now, seeing the very same box, Reo decides he needs to put a stop to this.

"Nagi," he says coldly; he doesn't recognize his own voice. He stands up and crosses his arms over his chest, as though that might protect him from the storm to come. "What the fuck are you doing?"

Nagi blinks. He looks down at the box in his hand, then back at Reo. "Proposing…?" He says cautiously.

Reo can only laugh at the sheer hilarity of the situation. If he doesn't, he'll fall apart, and he can't fall apart just yet. "I can see that. But what I don't understand is why you're proposing to me."

Nagi looks so confused now that Reo almost feels bad. "Was I supposed to be proposing to someone else?"

"Yes!" Reo cries, because he actually can't take this anymore. "I've been trying to figure out how to ask about it for weeks, because I knew you were hiding something from me and I was going to wait until you were ready to tell me. But then I found the ring in your drawer while I was putting back a sock that I found in the back of the dryer, and—and Kunigami and Chigiri told me that I should talk to you, but I didn't know how and I had to just—pretend that everything was fine and normal even though I knew that you were never going to love me back because you were in love with someone else!"

"What? Reo, I don't—"

Reo doesn't let Nagi interject. Now that the words have started spilling out, he can't seem to stop them. "And then! I was emptying the trashbins yesterday, and I thought I'd do you a favour by emptying yours out, and I shouldn't have done that and I'm sorry because you probably wanted to keep everything private but I saw the papers in the bin and I read all those words that were meant for someone else, someone who isn't me—" Reo pauses just long enough to take a desperate, gasping breath, "—and now, what, you decide you want a practice run before you propose for real? How the fuck did you possibly think that would be a good idea?! Especially when you have no fucking clue how I feel about you!"

The words ring out in the silence of the apartment. Reo breathes heavily, eyes fixed on the floor as he tries to get air back into his lungs. His eyes burn, but he refuses to cry. When he finally drags his gaze up to look at Nagi, he finds Nagi staring at him wide-eyed, face flushed with what Reo can only think to describe as sheer mortification.

"Reo, I'm in love with you."

What.

Reo opens his mouth. Closes it. Opens it again.

"You're—?"

"In love with you," Nagi repeats, as if that clarifies things. At least Reo knows that he wasn't mishearing Nagi the first time, but he's still… really fucking confused, to say the least.

"You can't be serious."

Nagi stands up and slowly, tentatively, reaches out to hold one of Reo's hands, still balled up in a fist. Gently, he uncurls Reo's fingers one by one; the tension and fight slowly drain out of him, and he lets Nagi guide his hand up to his chest, right over his heart. "I've never been more serious about anything in my life."

Reo just stares for a moment, first at Nagi's face, then at his hand splayed over Nagi's chest; he can feel the wild thrashing of Nagi's heartbeat beneath his palm, just as turbulent as his own.

"You never said anything," Reo says at last.

Nagi glances somewhere off to the side, suddenly unable to meet Reo's eyes. "I thought you knew. We've been together for so long—"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, pause." Reo feels like the floor has disappeared from underneath his feet. He takes a breath that does absolutely nothing to steady himself; he presses his hand harder against Nagi as though the thumping of his heartbeat might be able to ground him. "What are you talking about? We're not dating."

"We're not?"

And Nagi sounds so lost and confused that whatever retort Reo had lined up dies an untimely death before it even makes it past his lips. "What do you mean, 'we're not?' Of course we're not! You never confessed! I was ready to take my feelings to the grave!"

"But I did," Nagi insists, which is news to Reo.

"And when the heck was that?"

"In our second year of high school. We promised to stay together until the end. And then after we graduated, you asked me to live together with you, so I thought—"

"You're telling me," Reo interrupts, because his brain is still frying itself trying to catch up with all of the rapidfire revelations, "that you think we've been dating since we were seventeen?!"

"Um." Nagi blinks. "Yes?"

Reo pinches the bridge of his nose with his free hand. "We've never even kissed!"

"I thought Reo was just really shy…" Nagi mumbles, cheeks turning a lovely shade of pink. "I was willing to wait until you were ready, but it was really hard to hold back sometimes."

"You—!" Reo is embarrassed. Reo is utterly mortified. Reo is questioning everything he thought he knew about his relationship with Nagi. "And all the times you asked me to sleep in your bed…"

"I like cuddling you," Nagi says easily. "But I wouldn't have minded if we did other things, too."

"How can you say things like that with a straight face?" Reo moans. He wishes he could crawl into a hole right about now and never come out.

Nagi just shrugs. "It's 'cause I like you. I'm not embarrassed about that."

Fuck, Nagi's actually going to kill him before they even manage to sort their shit out. Hearing Nagi admit so easily that he likes Reo—loves him, even—is doing terrible, horrible things to his heart, especially considering how not even ten minutes ago Reo had still been preparing himself for a heartbreak that would've made Blue Lock look like child's play.

"Even then," Reo manages to say, though his voice comes out embarrassingly wobbly, "How were you so certain that I felt the same way? I certainly never said anything. I thought you didn't even like me!"

"We promised to stay together," Nagi reminds him. "You called me your treasure all the time, and you got really upset when I went to play soccer with Isagi because you thought I was leaving you. You always hold on to me like you never want to let go."

As Nagi keeps listing off things that Reo's said and did—things that, in hindsight, were embarrassingly obvious—Reo can feel his face turning redder and redder. Any more and he seriously might pass out.

"Alright, alright, I get the point!"

"Reo, are you embarrassed?"

And right back to being tactless. Sometimes Reo really wonders why he loves this dumbass.

"You're embarrassing me," Reo grumbles, but he doesn't pull away. Instead, he steps closer, moving his hand away so that he can bury his head in the crook of Nagi's neck, wrapping his arms around Nagi's middle and clinging tightly to the fabric of the back of his sweater. Courage washes over him like a tide, and he murmurs his own confession against Nagi's skin:

"I love you too, dumbass."

He can feel the way Nagi's breath catches, just before strong arms wrap gently around his waist, pulling him in tighter. For a moment, neither of them speak; they stay there like that—embracing in the middle of their living room, breathing each other in, pressed so close that it becomes impossible to tell where one of them ends and the other begins.

"I'm sorry," Reo whispers. "I should've trusted you. I know you wouldn't hurt me on purpose."

"It's okay," Nagi says against the crown of his head, so easily that it makes Reo's heart ache. "You were scared. I know how that feels."

Reo pulls back, then, just enough that he can meet Nagi's eyes. He brings his hands up to cup Nagi's cheeks; the look Nagi gives him is so full of adoration that Reo fears he might melt.

"Ask me again. I'll let you finish this time, and then… I'll give you a proper answer."

Nagi nods, leaning further into Reo's touch. He turns his head to press a kiss to one of Reo's palms.

"Reo… we've both changed a lot since high school, but there's one thing that has never changed: I want to be with you for as long as I can. Not just until we win the World Cup, but after that too. I want you to stay with me forever, Reo. Will you—"

Reo cuts him off by crushing their lips together. Nagi tenses up in surprise, but quickly melts against him, kissing him back. It's a little clumsy, a little overeager—their noses bump as they try to find the right angle and their teeth clack together as they both press into each other a bit too desperately—but it feels right. It feels like they've finally found their way home.

When they pull apart, they're both panting for breath; Nagi leans back far enough that Reo can see his pout. "You said you'd let me finish this time."

Reo just grins. "Are you complaining? I think we've both waited long enough." He presses another quick, chaste kiss to the corner of Nagi's mouth before pulling back, laughing as Nagi chases after him. "The answer is yes, by the way. I'm not going anywhere."

Nagi doesn't waste another second before capturing Reo's lips again, and it's a little hard to kiss with how hard Reo is smiling, but they figure it out, just like they always do.

They have a lot of lost time to make up for, but at least they'll have forever to do it.