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Kissing someone at the stroke of midnight on New Year’s Eve was a tradition Neil had only learned about by accident. At first he was convinced Nicky was just pulling another one of his ridiculous stunts. But when Matt backed it up… Neil’s already unsteady world tilted sideways once again. How many other universal rules were he still completely clueless about?
The Foxes had decided to spend the New Year’s holidays together at a rented house outside the city, which meant a chance for everyone to actually relax in one place. On the thirtieth, Nicky tried to find out from Aaron whether he was planning to kiss anyone at midnight. Without missing a beat, Aaron harshly shut him down for sticking his nose into his personal business.
“New year, new bottle—bottoms up!” Kevin slurred, sprawling in the armchair.
Nicky perched on the armrest, draping an arm around him. Kevin—long used to this kind of treatment—didn’t return the hug, but he didn’t shove Nicky off either. Nicky took that as a promising sign and a possible chance to recruit Kevin to his side.
“Just one tiny kiss. It’s tradition! Don’t you want your year to be full of good luck? I do. My year has to be full of love, luck, and prosperity…”
“You should’ve dragged Erik here from Germany,” Aaron cut in, rolling his eyes.
“Erik doesn’t celebrate New Year’s… He’s working.”
Poorly concealed sadness and longing leaked into Nicky’s voice. His lips stretched into the practiced smile he always used to cover what he really felt, but even Neil wasn’t fooled this time. Erik’s absence on Christmas Eve had upset Nicky so much that he barely put his phone down. And everything snapped back to normal the instant Erik called. Nicky started glowing with joy again, forgetting the holiday fuss in a heartbeat.
Neil couldn’t wrap his head around such a drastic mood swing—and didn’t particularly try. Were traditions and group holidays actually important to him personally? He had no idea. Still, there was nothing to complain about. Andrew might act completely uninterested in celebrations, but he was always there.
“Oh, Neil,” Nicky perked up, “what do you think about—”
Nicky broke off before finishing the thought. He scratched the back of his neck awkwardly and gave an apologetic smile.
Neil raised an eyebrow, waiting. Nothing followed. He glanced at Andrew and caught the faint but unmistakable edge of a look that could burn someone to ash on the spot. Everything clicked. Neil swallowed a tiny smirk and settled back, watching Nicky continue his hopeless campaign to convince Kevin. The amount of alcohol consumed had zero effect on the outcome—no one was planning to kiss Nicky at midnight.
Neil propped his head on his hand, studying Andrew with interest. He looked as detached and bored as ever—completely indifferent to traditions like this. Nicky’s pleading, Erik’s absence, the holiday itself—none of it seemed to touch him. Apparently he’d already received everything he could possibly want: good food, a decorated house, and zero Exy.
Andrew sipped whiskey from his glass, staring at nothing in particular. Everything around him blurred into colorful, meaningless noise. He’d agreed to spend the holidays at the rented house with the Upperclassmen, but that was where his promises ended.
Joint activities were Dan’s domain, and Andrew had zero intention of participating. Most of the day he spent wrapped in the warm embrace of alcohol and his own thoughts, while quietly keeping an eye on his crew. Aaron and Kevin stuck together out of habit, both quietly pissed at the universe. One still couldn’t accept that his girlfriend had gone to spend the holidays with her parents. The other refused to acknowledge that Exy could survive a few days without him.
Neither Kevin nor Aaron mattered enough to Andrew for him to do anything about it. No headaches—already the best holiday gift he could ask for. His attention kept drifting back to Neil, who was growing more and more pensive, like he was holding something back. Andrew chalked it up to his usual paranoia and tried to relax—without forgetting to keep topping off Neil’s glass with whiskey.
The clock had long passed midnight. The Foxes had drifted off to their rooms one by one, and Neil and Andrew eventually followed.
Lost in thought, Neil climbed into bed. Almost all holidays had passed him by—there’d never been time to celebrate. Who in their right mind would set up a tree or hang lights in a motel room they might abandon in three days? Most holidays they either skipped entirely or used as convenient opportunities to disappear.
Only once had little Nathaniel spent Christmas Eve surrounded by friendly strangers. Mary had done her best to pretend they were just a normal family down on their luck. She hadn’t found a polite way to refuse the motel’s pushy owner when he invited them to the communal celebration. That Christmas had been the loudest one of his childhood— full of the smell of freshly baked goods and the laughter of people he didn’t know. Laughter that, for a moment, drowned out the constant fear in his chest. This year Neil was actually trying to rest and figure out what holidays could mean—this time surrounded by family. The Foxes.
“What do you think about New Year’s traditions?” Neil asked quietly, adjusting the blanket.
Andrew stubbed out his cigarette and closed the window. He lay down, laced his fingers together behind his head, and stared at the ceiling with zero interest.
“Bullshit,” he answered, bored.
“You bought fireworks.”
Andrew waved the comment away, not bothering to dignify it with a reply. Renee and Allison were in charge of the festive atmosphere; he had just bought a few minor things.
“Brought the tree,” Neil continued. “Helped decorate the house. Wore the ugly Christmas sweater on Christmas…”
“Shut up?”
Neil leaned in, studying Andrew’s face. A straight line with only the tiniest fluctuations. Not long ago he wouldn’t have noticed the microscopic twitch of lips, the barely-there narrowing of eyes. After a year of sharing a room, Neil had started catching details that were invisible to everyone else. He knew exactly when Andrew was pleased, and when he was annoyed. The familiar masks of indifference and boredom had begun to feel far more layered than they used to.
Andrew’s ostentatious indifference to the holidays stood in stark contrast to his actual behavior, and a quiet hope warmed Neil’s chest: perhaps Andrew truly wasn’t indifferent after all? He observed the traditions the Foxes spoke of—even if he disregarded those he had no interest in.
Apparently Andrew read the shift in Neil’s softened gaze. He grabbed the front of Neil’s shirt and yanked him down, closing the distance.
“Don’t look at me like that,” Andrew said.
“I always look at you like that,” Neil answered with a small smile.
He leaned even closer, lips almost brushing Andrew’s, and dropped his voice to a whisper.
“Yes or no?”
“Yes,” Andrew said, and closed the last inch, pulling Neil into a kiss.
***
A few minutes before midnight the Foxes gathered in the living room in front of the TV. The music from the speaker had been turned down, and the presenter’s excited voice filled the room—live feed from Times Square.
The countdown was about to start, but Neil couldn’t have cared less about the host’s words. He wasn’t planning to make a wish and probably wouldn’t have bothered even if someone asked. All his thoughts were on Andrew. Andrew was watching the screen with a perfectly blank expression, very deliberately ignoring Neil’s curiosity.
“Hey?” came a familiar warm voice from the doorway—slightly out of breath, as though its owner had just run through snowdrifts to make it in time.
Every head turned at once. Silence fell, broken only by the low hum of the television. Allison, in charge of the remote, muted the sound. Matt’s smile grew huge and genuinely happy for his friend.
Nicky was stunned by the surprise. His face froze in shock, and it seemed his heart skipped a beat—all the longing of the past days evaporated in an instant, replaced by a deafening wave of happiness. The champagne flute in his hand nearly slipped to the floor. His fingers trembled from the overwhelming emotions, but Kevin managed to catch it, preventing the fall.
“Erik!” Nicky shouted.
His voice cracked with joy as he launched himself at his boyfriend, nearly knocking him off his feet. Nicky squeezed him in an embrace so tightly it looked painful, as if he feared the sudden arrival might turn out to be a dream.
“I made it, right?” Erik laughed, hugging him back. His hands smoothed over Nicky’s back, trying to calm the storm of feelings.
“You made it just in time. God, I can’t believe it!”
Nicky pulled back just enough to look into Erik’s eyes. The soft gaze made tears spring to his own. The room exploded with applause and joyful shouting as the Foxes celebrated this tiny victory of love over distance, already reaching for fresh bottles of champagne.
Andrew gave the tiniest nod to himself—his plan had worked. Erik had arrived at the last minute, which meant that in all the chaos no one would notice Andrew had been missing for a while. He tugged Neil by the hem of his shirt and headed for the back door without waiting for a response. He checked the time. Almost midnight.
Neil shivered from the gust of cold wind and habitually took the thin stick extended by Andrew. He didn't immediately recognize it as a sparkler, at first mistaking it for a cigarette. Only when the lighter flared and both sparklers caught did wonder spark in Neil’s eyes.
Andrew watched his reaction carefully. The tiny flames reflected in Neil’s wide eyes as he looked back and forth between the two sparklers in delighted fascination. A smile spread across his lips, and something warm bloomed in Andrew’s chest, tingling in his fingertips. Despite the cold wind messing up his hair, he couldn’t look away from Neil, who was practically glowing with happiness.
There were only seconds left until the New Year, but Andrew wasn’t counting. He was memorizing every detail, every small line on Neil’s face, bright with unguarded joy. Without realizing it, a faint smile touched Andrew’s own lips while the sparklers burned down in their hands. Soon the light died, but the smile that lit Neil’s face was brighter than moonlight, and the joy coming off him hummed louder than distant stars.
“Happy New Year,” Andrew said, and kissed him.
The kiss was slow, almost tender, carrying the rare gentleness Andrew sometimes let slip through his walls. He could feel Neil’s heartbeat falling into rhythm with his own, echoing softly in his chest. The world shrank to just the two of them; the distant crackle of fireworks and the Foxes’ joyful shouts faded into something faraway, like a half-remembered dream. Neil answered with the same careful reverence, fingers threading into Andrew’s hair as if he could anchor this fragile moment forever. And in the shadowed hollow where his heart had always guarded itself, something new and delicate began to unfurl—fragile as the first snow.
Neil didn’t know how long they had kissed, or how much time had passed afterward as they stood in the backyard in silence. He hadn’t followed Andrew back inside, lingering instead in the snow and blissful quiet, still clutching the spent sparkler in his hand. He might have stayed out there until morning if Matt’s heavy hand hadn’t landed on his shoulder, drawing his attention.
“You okay?” Matt asked, concerned.
“I’m fine,” Neil said, coming back to earth. “I’m just… happy.”
When he stepped back into the warmth, the first thing he saw was Andrew’s deliberately bored face. Andrew was pretending the lavish holiday table and endless drinks meant nothing to him. He showed even less interest when Neil sat down beside him. He didn’t turn his head—just squeezed Neil’s fingers very hard under the table. Neil didn’t have time to figure out what it meant before Aaron’s voice cut through.
“Stop smiling. You’re ruining my holiday.”
“Okay,” Neil nodded, not even trying to hide the smile.