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The room was filthy and paint peeled from the walls in splotches. Busted nails had picked even the drywall off. No matter how many "Katsuki stop"s were said, it was just impulsive.
Nothing’s happy anymore. It’s all stupid and he hates it. He has every reason to be upset and no reasons at all. Its ridiculous. He's cruel and indecisive. Spoiled and neglected. He just wants to die but doesn't even have the energy for that. He's too much of a coward to follow through. He's always in pain. He's disgusting. His room is disgusting. He spends every waking moment begging whatever’s out there to kill him. He hate his friends. He hates the kids he's cruel to too.
He hates. He hates. He hates himself the most.
He just wants to be normal. He wants the world to not be ending and going to shit. He wants so much. Most of all, he wants to have never been born. If just one person could relate. Someone could actually understand. Even a fictional character. He just wants some form of validation. Hell, sending nudes to that guy was a whole thing for positive attention. Nothing bothers Katsuki, yet everything does. He hates how people are so stupid. He hates how people can’t act normal and just wake up. It’s always "Oh, you’re the problem and you need to be fixed." They can’t even give themself a name. They want to be formless and undiscovered. He wants to be a bloody corpse splattered on the sidewalk. He wants everyone dead. They want themself dead.
He wants and he hates and he wants and he hates. They love nothing. They hate nothing. They wish he was nothing. They want rats to eat their body. He looks forward to nothing except the day he dies. Maggots will eat his brain and only find out how much he hates.
Whatever. Its hopeless. And even that? I hate it.