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Absolutely Everything Inconsequantial

Summary:

“Ieri-san reportedly took samples of the curse within your body, however she did not share them with me. Do I have permission to extract DNA samples from both of you to study?”

There is a beat of silence, and Shiki wonders momentarily if there were any misremembered social cues in there.

———
Or, my loser oc meets Playback Naoya,,,,, they’re deeply confused.

Notes:

Uhhh tw needles maybe. Enjoy

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

It doesn’t come as a surprise to learn that Zenin Naoya had been possessed by a curse for roughly a year, all things considered.
The only irritating thing is that they hadn’t picked up on it sooner, Kamo Shiki decides. Being able to analyse his DNA throughout being a vessel would have been an incredibly compelling case study- the gradual imitation from the hosts body to the curse within was a phenomenon recorded only in half destroyed textbooks that were more fear driven ramblings than actual scientific reports.

There were apparently more records pre-Heian Era, but those were obviously destroyed. Unfortunately.

What a waste.

The door clicks open as the man himself walks in. Their gaze ticks over to his form, and their mouth twitches imperceptibly down at the fact that he’s taller than them even as they wear platform shoes.

Goddamn Zenin height genes.

“So,” Shiki says, “Zen’in-san, the amnesia wasn’t really amnesia then.”

He winces, and Shiki frowns. It wasn’t aimed as an accusation, just an observation.

Naoya shrugs. “Yep.”

They decide to get to the meat of it before there can be any clan politicking.

“Ieri-san reportedly took samples of the curse within your body, however she did not share them with me. Do I have permission to extract DNA samples from both of you to study?”

There is a beat of silence, and Shiki wonders momentarily if there were any misremembered social cues in there.

Naoya seems to be considering- possibly raising the question to the other within the headspace? If so, that’s a fascinating possibility they will chase down on later. The extent of communication between vessel and curse was always unclear in studies.

Naoya comes to a conclusion, slitting his arm and letting a strange oily substance pour out and form a huge figure that towers about metre above Shiki’s head. They watch, fascinated, as Naoya’s posture abruptly changes.

The cursed spirit within him is obnoxiously tall, with a primate-like body structure and three human-based masks.

…He looks very fluffy.

Shiki abruptly remembers about a second too late that it is rude to stare, dragging their gaze away and flushing red.

Naoya- the real one, that is, snickers at them. It is less mean-spirited than his usual laughs at their expense that had happened at every clan meeting, and it begs the question of what exactly happened in that year of absence.

They clear their throat. “Apologies,” they say stiffly, with a slight bow towards the curse, “ah- what should I call you?”

The curse seems… amused? Perhaps? As it tilts its head and answers “Jian.”

Shiki nods, and begins gathering their equipment. Naoya and Jian whisper to each other in the background, but they can’t be bothered to try and listen.

They return to the duo with their blood sample kit, blinking at the way Naoya is now held within Jian’s arms.

Alright, then.

The needle slides into the crook of Naoya’s elbow, and they watch as the tube fills silently. When it finishes, Naoya slips off to let them take a sample from Jian.

He pokes around their laboratory, and they try not to wince at every clatter of equipment and rustle of papers.

They turn around to see his exceptionally pointy elbows digging into a stack of their nice, clean reports, fresh pages crinkling under the unforgiving jut of the bone. He leans against the desk the papers are held on and looks at Jian with a strange look that they are unable to interpret, far too preoccupied with the state of their innocent papers. Would ironing them be overkill?

The two merge back into one while their back is turned, and Naoya-Jian inspects the papers that the original had been looking at. Shiki goes cold at the realisation that those were the old theories on curse biology, the ones made when they just got their lab and hadn’t yet realised they needed to take in account the way curses decay qnd how it would affect the readings.

Heavens, that’s so embarrassing. And with Jian-san being a curse it’s even worse. He probably can see how everything is wrong and he’ll regret giving them blood and they’ll be left alone in here with nothing to do-

A hand thumps on their head, and they look up to see Naoya-Jian looking at them unreadably, hands disturbing their hair and pulling strands from their bun.

Shiki blinks.

Pardon??????

The hand is removed, and the pair- or just the one, it’s hard to tell- leave.

Shiki blinks. Well, alright then.

There is little time to dwell on that parting interaction, as they have finally obtained the samples they wanted from them, and Jian didnt take them back last-minute. Their new findings will be deeply interesting. Legendary, perhaps. They might be able to write a paper, even, if the rumours about that Itadori kid are true. They’ll have to ask Gojo-san when they next see him

They set the samples down, one tube red and the other curse-purple, and get to work.

Notes:

Holy shit I wrote this in an hour at 12am on Christmas Day. So if it’s incoherent then that’s why.

Hi author of playback if youre reading this then thanks for the cool story,,,

Jian and Naoya the whole time: do not the cat do not the cat-
Jian failed and then left LMAO
It was Naoya who made him fuck up their hair though

Naoya and Shiki were like,,, semi friends before the whole thing.,.. two kids hanging out at the clan meetings,,,

Shiki’s like a couple years younger though. Thumbs up

Ask me about Kamo Shiki theyre my baby and I love them so deeply,,,,,,