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It was a couple of months after the Guivre conflict, when the chaos had settled enough for Mori to grant them a day off.
And today was the day that Dazai was finally going to do it. Because seeing Chuuya torn apart, bleeding, dying, and yet so beautiful. That moment had sent stabs of pain through his chest. The only person who had ever caused Dazai to feel emotions and to feel so incredibly… human, was Chuuya. When he was with the red-head, the nothingness—that often clouded his mind—dissipated.
Dazai would finally push past his communication barriers and tell Chuuya the fear that had gripped him that day with Guivre. Dazai never wanted him gone from his life. The brunet would be the first to die, he had to be, because he didn’t think he could bear Chuuya’s death.
He sat on the park bench fidgeting, what if that stupid slug already had plans? He hadn’t responded to any of Dazai’s messages about going to the arcade, and yet Dazai still sat, waiting out the front.
It felt like one of those rom-coms, where he was waiting to ask the other out, but it wasn’t like that, not yet anyway, there was no way the Chibi requited those feelings. How was he going to do this? What if Chuuya thought he was weird? As if he didn’t think that already. He was a fool to think Chuuya even wanted to spend his day of with Dazai. He should just go to his shipping container and—
“You good, Mackerel?”
Dazai was snatched from his spiralling thoughts; Chuuya was here.
“I’m fine, slug~”
“If you say so, but I’m so gonna beat your ass today.”
“As if someone so short could even see over the controller.”
“Hahhh??!?! I’m only 16! I’m still growing!!”
“You said that last year and I don’t think you’ve grown an inch. You must be so upset, my poor chibi.”
“If I win then I want you to stop poking fun at my height for a month!”
“Hmm? A bet? What’s in it for me?”
“Well what do you want?”
He thought about it for a bit, there were so many embarrassing things he could make the red-head do, but what he really wanted, his true goal for the day was…
“If I win, you have to hear me out on something.”
“What a weird request, seems like nothing to lose for me.”
“Is that a ‘yes’?”
“Have I ever declined a bet?”
It was exactly for this reason he wanted to tell Chuuya his… care? If you could call it that. His stomach was tingling and warm, with Chuuya, his emotions were real, not a carefully constructed mask.
They headed to their usual machines, and it felt oddly freeing. Feeling like the teenagers they were, rather than battle worn soldiers. The manager smiled at them, despite them always making a ruckus and screaming death threats at each other, they were his favourite regulars. This time was the first time in months that he had seen them.
Dazai wanted to win of course, but he couldn’t help occasionally misdirecting the joy-stick, effectively dooming his character. He also kept getting lost in his head, which lead to more rounds ending in favour of the red-head.
“You let me win,” Chuuya looked at him pointedly, “Either that or you’re genuinely ass.”
“The Chibi is overthinking,” was the response, with as much as the nickname infuriated Chuuya, there was something lacking in Dazai’s enthusiasm.
“Look, you asked me to come out to the arcade, propose a bet which has no downside for me, and then you seem to have deliberately lost said bet. What’s up Dazai?”
He had been a bit obvious, hadn’t he? Of course Chuuya would notice him being a bit off, Chuuya could read Dazai better than anyone. Yet, there were still somethings Dazai could hide. Rearranging his features, Dazai looked up at Chuuya.
“The Chibi must have cheated, there is no way he could’ve won~”
Chuuya seemed to process this for a second. On one hand, it was a subject change and Chuuya was worried for the bastard, but on the other hand…
“Just because I’m better than you doesn’t mean I cheated! And I won! You can’t call me ‘Chibi’ anymore!”
Dazai returned him a pout.
“Awee but the Chibi is so tiny and cute~”
Chuuya ears turn the same colour as his bright red hair, “HAHH?!! TINY AND CUTE?! I’LL SHOW YOU TINY AND CUTE!”
Dazai snickers and ducks as Chuuya swings his fist, holding nothing back. That’s what Soukoku did after all. They trusted each other entirely, whether that be through protecting each other, or trusting the other was capable of protecting them self.
Dazai knew that Chuuya would never intentionally hurt him (badly, that is), and so with a morbid curiosity he wondered how Chuuya would react if he took one of his punches.
Chuuya started glowing red, using his ability to enhance his punch, Dazai stuck out a long spindly finger and touched Chuuya’s fist. There was a small flash of blue light.
“Nuh uh, none of that at the arcade,” Dazai said smugly.
“Well then, I want a rematch, and if you don’t win, I’ll pry whatever it is you want to tell me out of your cold, dead mouth,” Chuuya retorted.
“That’s so Sleeping Beauty coded.”
“Excuse me??”
“I forget the Chibi grew up on the streets. Basically the prince kisses the eternally sleeping—”
Chuuya goes red again, “What are you implying you bastard?!”
“Nothing~! If Chuuya was so infatuated with me, he’d do better to just say it rather than use cryptic messages~!” He replies in a sing song voice. Dazai snickered, it was so easy to change the topic with Chuuya.
“Telling you I’m gonna kill you doesn’t mean I’m in love with you!”
The manager looked at them fondly, oh to be a teenager in love.
They ended up bickering about different ways to show affection, Dazai taking the stance that double suicide was the best method. This bickering lasted even after the manager had to close the arcade and usher them out.
The dark streets had never scared the duo, because they ruled them. They walked in silence for a while, enjoying the way a frightened mouse would scurry back down an alley at the sight of them.
From the door of a cafe, left ajar, a soft melody echoed through the streets. Chuuya grabbed Dazai’s hand spontaneously, it was different to how they were in the arcade, softer. Shortly after the red-head’s initial move, he pulled them into a dance. Swaying along with the tune, the two began to turn and twist.
It was odd, that they could go from arguing to somewhat at peace in a matter of minutes. And yet, that was what made them Soukoku; Double Black; a double-edged sword.
It was moments like these that Dazai felt that maybe, just maybe, Chuuya would accept his… love. And it was this moment that Dazai felt he should tell Chuuya.
Their small dance left them giggling on the floor.
“Oh Chibi,” Dazai said fondly, a certain light refracting within his eye, allowing them to turn gold in the streetlight.
Chuuya would never admit it, but it was moments like these he truly could see Dazai was happy, and by extension, it made him happy.
“Do you remember the Guivre conflict?” Dazai started.
“How could I forget?”
Chuuya rubbed his arms subconsciously, the phantom pain of the event still lingering beneath his skin.
“Do you remember when I told you if you gave in to Arahabaki, you would lose any chance at recovering your memories, of knowing if you were human?”
His eyes shone as he stared at Dazai’s face.
“I remember.”
Dazai took a breath.
“When I let you choose, I was fully prepared to let Verlaine destroy the entire world. I wouldn’t have made that decision for anybody else, and then you said you’d do it. And I panicked because I thought you would die. Even though I knew it was the only way to defeat him. I was so scared I was going to lose you. I’ve never felt emotions that strongly.”
Dazai’s eyes widened, letting more of the golden light into them.
“I care about you Chuuya.”
He held his breath.
Chuuya leaned forward, capturing his lips in a kiss, as Dazai’s heart skipped a beat. It seemed to last forever, until Chuuya leaned back again, the mist fogging Dazai’s brain.
“And I love you Dazai.”
Dazai smiled, unlike he ever had before. He pulled Chuuya in for a hug, smiling into his hair.