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Could someone so tense be so gentle?
This is the question of the day for Shishikura, but whether he can answer it was a different question entirely. For what it’s worth, it is a little hard to think of anything when your back is against a wall in the prettiest guy’s room. It’s even harder when that same guy is kissing you.
And it’s no surprise that Tei is a good kisser, either. It all seemed to check out. Thinking about that made Shishikura feel even more shy, as he had never, ever kissed anyone before this. He had never even been asked out, nor asked anyone out. Of course, he didn’t tell Tei this was his first kiss. Something in his mind said he could probably tell anyway. He was evidently more uncertain than Tei, and was more hanging on for dear life. He tried not to cling to Tei too tightly at the start, but he couldn’t help himself. Subconsciously, he wanted Tei to be even closer, he wanted more, it wasn’t enough, it was too much—
“Are you okay? Am I hurting you?” Tei whispered, his voice tinted with concern. Shishikura, coming back to his senses, shook his head vigorously. Seeing Tei like this, flushed, disheveled, concerned…made his heart leap into his throat. He almost wanted to punch himself to make it go back down again.
“N-No, of course not! You’re fine…” He squeaked out.
“It’s just that…you’re holding onto me very tightly.”
“Ah— um, sorry, Tei!” Reluctantly, Shishikura loosened his grip, but didn’t let go entirely. Tei almost giggles to himself, and Shishikura averted his gaze, even more embarrassed than before. It felt like Tei was laughing at him and his terrible kissing skills. Tei would probably be tactful enough not to tell him, right? Maybe he’s just humouring him, maybe…
His train of thought was cut off as Tei cupped one side of his face and leant in once again. Tei’s hand was surprisingly cold. Maybe it’s because of the pink hair being a warm colour, but Shishikura expected him to be warmer, like the rest of his body… the unexpected coldness brought a shiver to pass down his spine.
Try not to think about it too much, Shishikura told himself. It’s just a one-shot, isn’t it? Maybe Tei will forget about it all by the next day. He’ll surely forget about it. But no matter how many times he told himself similar sentences along those lines, he knew that it was unlikely either of them would really forget. He also couldn’t help thinking: why him? He’s certainly not the best looking out of everyone, at least not by his own standards…so to be chosen by someone this pretty was almost too good to be true.
Is he this gentle with everyone he’s kissed? One of Shishikura’s shaky hands reaches up to clasp Tei’s wrist instead. He let his eyes flutter fully shut as his thumb rubbed circles into Tei’s wrist. Maybe it didn’t matter what Tei really seemed to think of him, because his kisses were so gentle, so genuine, even. It felt like they broke away too fast for his liking, but Shishikura’s eyes flew open as he felt the fabric being gently pulled away from his neck. Tei’s hand moved from his face to his shoulder, and his mouth drew closer to Shishikura’s neck—
“Tei…” He meant to say: “Tei, what are you doing?” but instead it came out as a pitiful half whine. He would’ve been happy if he had a heart attack right there and died.
Tei didn’t move his head.
“Do you… mind if I…” His voice trailed off. Shishikura could feel Tei breathing onto his skin.
“I— no…” Shishikura hesitated for a half beat. He was sure he wanted this, but not so eager to admit it.
He felt Tei smile.
“Thank you… I-I wouldn’t do anything you wouldn’t want me to, Shishikura.”
Shishikura couldn’t think of a proper response, and only answered with a very shaky “uh-huh”.
Satisfied with that response, Tei also added:
“Try your best to stay quiet.”
“Wait— huh?!”
Before Shishikura could finish his sentence, Tei bit him, albeit lightly. And despite what Tei said about being quiet…
Shishikura pretty much slapped his one free hand over his mouth, flushing even redder than he already was. Tei laughed, clearly amused by the reaction produced.
“Tei!” Shishikura spluttered. “I— I didn’t think— I didn’t—ah—“
He cried out yet again when Tei licked the new bite mark, tightening his grip on Tei in the process. This was so different to mere minutes ago…but his heart fluttered just the same. What’s wrong with me? Shishikura thought. Why is this…enjoyable? That’s sick. It’s sick, isn’t it? He’s hurting me, and I’m not stopping him. I’m even encouraging him with my reaction, aren’t I? That’s so…
Tei continued to kiss and lick around the bite mark, alternating between them — lick, kiss, kiss, lick — all the while producing poorly suppressed whimpers from the other person.
“I—I’m sorry…I’m sorry…sorry…I…” Shishikura whispered shakily. He wasn’t too sure why he was apologising, but… it felt right to do. His quivering hand moved from his mouth to try and tangle itself in Tei’s long pink hair instead. When Tei seemed to be pleased with what he got from the first bite, he lunged in for another. Shishikura instinctively pulled at Tei, but he was laughably weak. The initial bites always got the loudest cries. Shishikura’s eyes, half-lidded with bliss, threatened to spill tears. It hurt so good bad. The bites, the way Tei kissed his wounds…it was a twisted dream come true that he never had.
Tei’s kisses made their way back up towards his jaw and eventually back to his mouth, but with more passion, and something almost like hunger. Shishikura could barely even breathe anymore. Not like he minded much. The tears that had prickled his eyes then spilled out, dampening his face. He leaned more into Tei than he ever had previously, as if he was trying to merge with him, heart beating way overtime. And after what felt simultaneously like a half second and a year, Tei’s hand came back up to cup the side of Shishikura’s face yet again, and they broke apart. However, this time his hand was warm. His thumb brushed along Shishikura’s cheek very lightly. Shishikura released his hand from Tei’s hair to place it over his hand instead, and leant into it. He opened his now especially shiny grey eyes with a barely contained smile.
“Y-You know, Tei…you’re very good at this.” He said softly.
Tei blinks. “You really think? I think I’m pretty bad, if I’m being honest with you…”
“Wh— how?! Bad?! Huh..?” Shishikura replied, evidently surprised.
“I can’t have been the best person you’ve kissed, right…?”
Shishikura averted his eyes again. His expression became suddenly sheepish.
“W-Well…
you were my first kiss, so I don’t have anything to compare with.”