Work Text:
School was an absolute nightmare.
It felt no matter how carefully and diligently you sat down and did your work, no matter how often you tried to get things done, there almost was never enough time. The throes of working until the last second was something you knew very well.
Memories of cramming rocked you and thrummed in your stomach, the vestibular kind that you’d feel after being thrown around in a roller coaster.
Your body kept itself awake, despite all of it. But all adrenaline rushes crash and burn. Basic words floated past your eyes like the things you’re supposed to be working on were in a completely different language.
That frustrated you, that made you really frustrated. Your arms tensed, the back of your neck strangled itself like your body was actively fighting you to not read.
You couldn’t handle looking at your work anymore, you had to have something to drink that was warm or cold enough to calm your nerves. Even walking at this point made you feel lightheaded, like your head was strung along to your neck like a stupid circus balloon.
It was so embarrassing, you couldn’t function right compared to other people. You couldn’t finish work fast enough, just walking right now forced you to lean against the wall in fear you would trip. Eventually the different sound of your feet hitting the floor woke you up enough to realize you finally felt your way toward the kitchen. And something happened that was so terrible, so shocking, genuinely so vile it couldn’t compare to being killed by a thousand cuts from your assignments.
WSshhhkkt!
The sound of aerosol urged you to your kitchen.
You were greeted by Mime raiding your fridge.
It had a whipped cream canister tipped over to its lips,
or what you could assume would be lips and gorged itself to the splendors of cream. Could it even eat?
“ You don’t look so well!” WHSSSSSk “ Ooooh what a coincidence we’d-” WHHHHSSSSTk “ - Find each other here~”
It flaunted itself like a bird, as if the garish patterns on its shirt would entice you to it. It licked the bits of cream that blew over itself off its face.
“I know why you’re here.” You frowned.
“‘Assumed so! I wouldn’t take you for a dummy, would I? So smart!”
You rubbed the sweat off the bridge of your nose. The pressure to get this damned assignment done was already enough to make your kitchen feel roomy, it didn’t help that there was a gangly, noodly mime trying to woo you.
“Not smart enough..! I didn’t manage to get this thing on time because of all these things I had to do and- and-”
“Woahhhh! Settle down there,” It slid towards you like a trail of perfume, “Smooth smooth mummery coming to a town near you!~”
“I know how to lift your spirits up”
“You want to focus? I know how to help!”
Mime disappeared for what might’ve been less than a minute.
And then it returned with an orange rattling bottle in its hand. It was at a more-than-comfortable half full, a full candy scoop of something it probably stole from a pharmacy .
“They don’t call me a one-minute wonder for nothing! This will help you lickity split”
“What.”
“Ohhh my god, no..! I don’t want you to hook me on Adderal!” Your fingers pulled at your face.
“Awww..” Mime deflated in defeat.
“I guess more for me!” It turned and held the bottle completely upside down, devouring the copious amounts of drugs like tablet candy.
It pained every bone, sinew, and nerve in your body hearing the pills crunch. It was like listening to a dog chew kibble.
“Did you really have to eat it in front of me?”
“I can eat things way faster than that pill bottle y’know. And very thoroughly” Mime’s voice fell into a deep hum, it nudged you and winked.
“Cheeky.”
“Cheeky, you say? Don’t got any!” It stretched out its waistband. God, you flinched in fear of seeing something you didn’t want to see.
“See? There’s nothing back there!” It was like looking into the inside of an air duct. Mime was nothing but hollow in more ways than one.
“I don’t have any cheeks, silly. I am tangibly cheekless!” Mime sung.
“Ok Assper the Friendly Ghost, what does this have to do with anything” You crossed your arms, it’s been talking to you for a bit. Honestly the only thing it’s really doing right now is wasting your time.
“I’m a carnal being. I know what your body deeply desires.”
“Someone could be craving multiple things at once, but I only really focus on the fun ones though.”
“What you do need is a break, methinksies! What you DON’T need is bashing your head against the wall over and over again. I’m at least clever enough to figure that out.”
“Lie with me!” Mime opened its arms, like it was expecting you to lunge at it.
No.
…
“W-wha- waitwaitwaitt!! Noo not like that!” It held its paws up defensively.
“Let me listen to your woes and you can lay in bed for a while and relax! No strings attached, not gonna tease you, squeeze you, charm you, or chase you!”
“Please, I insist, I’m all ears! I just wanna make you feel better!” Mime, whether you like it or not, is a persistent haggler. You sighed. Maybe laying down will protect you from your oncoming headache. Mime seemed innocent enough, it was practically begging on its hindlegs. Besides, if it tried something, I don't know, maybe you could roll over and crush it.
You snuggled yourself into bed. Mime eagerly wrapped its arms around you like an octopus, minus the mucus thankfully. Its arms felt soft, even the flourishes and folds of the sheets couldn’t compare. Usually you needed to roll around and keep yourself under a blanket to get comfortable, but the warmth of Mime’s body already compensated for it. Comfort rushed to accommodate you like a butler.
This was nice. But you couldn’t just stay silent forever, no matter how patient Mime idly smiled at you. You had to return the deal after all.
“Well, for a while, I’ve just felt really stuck.” You struggled to find the words, trying to get them out feels like swallowing sandpaper. Honestly you completely underestimated how big this issue has been going on for a while.
“Everything moves so fast. Like I could literally blink and one hour would go by when I’m doing work. I don’t get anything done.”
“I see all these other people around me, and they seem so much more capable. They’re smarter, healthier, they have brushed hair, and cleaner teeth.”
“Like, like, I don’t know, I can’t do anything right or take care of myself, and everyone just makes it look so easy. Just lifting my hand when I lay down sometimes feels like I’m moving it in mud.”
Mime didn’t answer at first. You sighed. You’re expecting it to go on a ramble about some dizzying esoteric lecture. Maybe it just completely zoned out and is about to give you superficial words of comfort. Like shoving corn syrup on a desperately parched tongue. That wouldn't be different from what a lot of other people in your life did. Even people you cared about and were supposed to look up to.
Mime lit up as if a lightbulb appeared over its head.
“You talked about showering, right? If being clean really makes you feel better. Do what'll make you feel happy!”
Its limbs sprawled out away from you, Mime’s lanky gangly arms undid around your body like rope. What warmth it gave you was gone and it felt like you were practically naked. You frowned at it but Mime quickly took the tips of fingers to adjust the corners to make your mouth smile again.
“Aht aht aht! No if, ands, or definitely nooo butts, sweetheart!”
“I’m a harbinger of pleasure, but I can easily take it away.. Oh, you’ve left me with no choice! I simply love you too much to let you rot away! Can’t have a pretty plum like you going to waste now would I?”
“I know what your body wants, and you should go chase it!”
You were stuck on your bed flat as a pancake, it was going to take a lot of effort to get up. But you remembered, things were easier to manage by one thing at a time.
You rub your face a little, tingling your feet and hands to move, up to your elbows, and slowly you pull yourself up and make your journey to the bathroom.
You remembered this one trick that helped you at least not feel like absolute hot oily garbage all the time, even when you couldn’t get yourself to shower.
You went over to your sink with a very, very tiny amount of shampoo and washed it over your scalp with water. It wasn’t enough to keep clean, showering would definitely do that better, but it at least helped you not feel dirty.
Just remember not to put on too much shampoo. You remember your head foaming up and having to deal with the nightmare of having your hair feel like it got encrusted with concrete for a while. You remembered Mime laughed at you, and you remembered wanting to encrust IT with concrete.
Feeling something decently cold on you made you shiver, but it shook you awake. Normally you’d just immediately dip back to what you were doing with a wet head, air drying would do the work for you, but you were able to push yourself to dry your hair a little with a towel.
It was nice to finally not smell sour, your scalp felt less oily, your hair softer, and even if it wasn’t a lot it was enough to not feel terrible. Mime swung towards you with a big smug grin on its face and blinked at you angelically, a cherub with wings on a stage pulley.
“See? Not so bad, huh?”
“Yeah..” You muttered, egg on your face.
“I’m always right!”
“Hey so, what was that about? You were saying that you loved me..?” You perked up a little. It completely flew right over your head when Mime said that before, but now you were curious and ready to pounce on the opportunity to humiliate Mime.
Mime blinked at you and then put a finger up to your lips.
“We don’t talk about that, it doesn’t leave this room, and it won’t leave your lips, capiche?
Its face looked at you with the solid strength of stone with so much conviction it felt like you two were gonna to bury a body together. Oh ok, Jesus.
“..But besides, I know how much you love me~” Mime cooed, the slickness of its voice almost helped it slide away from that question like the eel it was. You weren’t surprised, it was too afraid to say it to your face. Little weasel.
“Oh! Let’s lighten the mood,I know something else you can do now!” Mime smiled at you.
“I’m going back to work.”
“D’aww! But we just started talking! That was hardly the appetizer! C’monn, I know you want it!”
You walked off, maybe not as gross, or dumb as you thought you were a while back. You looked at it with a sour face, but you thought to yourself,
‘Thank you, Mime.’
You didn’t know if it could read minds, or understand everything you thought or felt. But Mime still spun around, doing loops in the air like an aerobic plane, smiling as much as ever, and it made you sigh.