Chapter Text
The edits make him anxious, which obviously just means that Felix will scroll his screen again and again and again and again, until…
“AAAAAAH,” he screams into a pillow, half of his skincare imprinted on it.
I mean, it was just an innocent hug, wasn’t it?
A spontaneous action.
Hyunjin was so happy that Felix found his earring—a very expensive earring—that he hugged the blonde.
Right?
It’s just a friendly hug.
Friends do hug.
But Hyunjin doesn’t. Except when it’s Felix.
Felix looks at his phone again, not caring about the ruined pillow. No, he’s trying not to eat his nails off.
Stays are freaking out almost as much as him.
The way Hyunjin hugged him not once, but twice. The way Hyunjin held his hand. The way their bodies fit perfectly. The look of happiness on Felix’s face.
“This is giving Hyunlix marriage proposal.”
“Insane hugging activities for someone who doesn’t do hugs imo.”
“You may now kiss the bride.”
“Hyunlix’s hands ah the size difference.”
“So Hyunlix are getting married and we’re all going to Switzerland?”
But the cherry on top was when their belts got stuck on each other's when they tried to end the hug.
“This is bad…”
Felix has been trying really, really hard not to look at Hyunjin as if he isn’t the reason he wakes up every morning. As if he doesn’t want to hug or touch him every second of every day.
As if Hyunjin isn’t his favorite person.
With everything that happened last year with Hyunjin—the false accusations, the awful, mean people demanding him out of Stray Kids, his loss of weight, his voice…
Although all Felix wanted was nothing more than to be by his side, to support him, JYPE ordered the blonde to stay away in public—including inside the company, where all eight of them spend most of their hours every single day, since they have to train choreographies, record songs, and create content for the internet.
And that breaks something.
Felix stops being skinship-y with the members. If he can’t do it with Hyunjin, he doesn't want to do it with anyone else.
And to someone whose love language is touch… he is feeling miserable.
So Felix tries to be there as much as he can for Hyunjin: being on a call for hours until they fall asleep and wake up to see the other hasn’t hung up, baking brownies for Hyunjin, buying him the art supplies he wanted for so long, visiting him as much as he could without causing any alarm.
Felix still feels he’s not doing his best, but he sticks to what they told him. Hyunjin already has a lot on his plate without having to worry about the Hyunlix ship that’s getting stronger by the day.
And Felix gets it. Millions of people think Hyunjin and him are in a relationship… a romantic relationship, and he doesn’t know what he feels about it.
But after so long, Hyunjin is feeling better now. He appreciates everything Felix and the others have done for him, but Lixie’s behavior is worrying him a little.
Hyunjin doesn’t know about JYPE’s order—Felix would never tell him, since it would only put him under more stress—so he’s trying to destroy this wall between them, to get back to where they were.
Felix notices his behavior, of course. How couldn’t he?
How couldn’t he notice Hyunjin staring at him with that smile and those puppy, beautiful, shiny eyes while he was doing aegyo or something sexy at concerts?
Or casually resting his arm on Felix’s shoulder during interviews, until somehow his hand is inside the blonde’s coat, caressing him?
Or that time when Hyunjin literally punched Felix’s arm because he was playing too much with Seungmin during an interview? Felix almost collapsed when he watched it and realized they hadn’t cut that part.
Or hugging him every time he has an excuse?
And Hyunjin’s hugs were so good they almost made him cry every time.
Because it isn’t just because Felix misses him—it’s because Felix loves him.
Felix has been in love with Hyunjin for seven years.
Seven years of touching, flirting, laughing, and smiling at each other.
Seven years of being 100% platonic.
Hyunjin seems to reciprocate his feelings, but they never said it out loud. They never did anything but yearn and yearn and yearn.
Well, except for that night, years ago.