Work Text:
Dear Hololive talents and staff,
This email is for the purpose of informing all staff that Raora Panthera will be on indefinite hiatus due to a medical emergency regarding her voice. She will not be streaming or singing for the indefinite future. Management is currently in talks with the talent regarding plans for the future. Please do not discuss the details of the situation with unrelated parties or publicly.
Sincerely,
Hololive Management
The email went out on a Thursday. Nothing particularly special about the day itself. Biboo was 6 hours deep in a collab stream with Kaela, unable to find a shiny Piplup. Bae and Irys were flirting on stream again for no discernable reason that Kronii could guess. Not that she gave it much thought. Kronii was just at home, taking a day to herself. Then there was the email. Suddenly, the day was split in two: The time when Raora still had her voice, and the time she did not. Did she lose her voice at the exact second the email was sent? Of course not. Until that email, Kronii was able to live in blissful ignorance, unaware that one of her best friends had lost everything.
The realization hit slowly. Voice problems? Oh no, Raora must have gotten really sick. That's really unfortunate. I'll stop by with some soup later, maybe give her a call, check in. Something like that. Cover emails had a habit of sounding soooo overly serious sometimes. Surely it's not that bad.
Word travels faster than you would think. It didn't take long for the sinking stone in Kronii's stomach to hit terminal velocity. Raora's voice was gone. It wasn't coming back.
Ever.
The stone in her stomach hit bedrock and kept going.
Kronii ran to the bathroom and unceremoniously deposited her lunch in the toilet. Tasting the bile on her lips, she numbly considered how this all could have happened. One day her friend had a voice. The next moment, nothing. How could she have missed it? Could she have done something? Kronii shook her head, trying to banish the thoughts from her mind. Of course not, she reasoned. Kronii wasn't a doctor. Kronii couldn't have magically healed her friend's voice. But still, she couldn't shake the feeling that, in some irrational way, she could have done more. Then Kronii paused.
Why was she worrying about herself? Her friend lost her voice. Not her.
How was Raora?
Kronii stopped hugging the base of the toilet, which she had begun for stability. Wiping the bile from her mouth with toilet paper, she weakly glanced around for her phone. The dark blue device was laying unceremoniously on the floor, completely abandoned until this moment. Kronii reached for the phone with an outstretched hand. Bringing the phone to her, she unconsciously began logging into the Hololive members discord that had been her home for her time as a member.
She was immediately bombarded with a barrage of notifications, most of which were messages from her peers. Every variety of well wishes, along with support and hangout desires, were freshly laid in the server: a testament to how much Raora meant to everyone.
What was missing, was the lady of honor herself.
Kronii began to scroll: 50+ new messages, 100+ new messages, 200+ new messages...
No Raora.
Now that was...odd, Kronii considered. Raora wasn't like Gigi, where she would respond to your messages before you typed them. Still, she was pretty on top of communications and was relatively easy to get a hold of. Well, normally at least. If there was any time for an exception, a life changing injury would probably be it. "No reason to send a message then", Kronii reasoned. She would do the next best thing: Go visit her, and, if all else fails, break into her house. Y'know. Like a normal friend would do. Nothing odd about it.
--------
*knock* *knock* *knock*
As far as Kronii could tell, Raora's door looked, normal? It was a door? Ok, why was she overthinking this???
"It's just a door, it's just her friend, it's just Raora. It'll be fine."
As Kronii stood there, she heard shuffling behind the door: slowly, weakly.
But the door didn't open. So she knocked again. "Raora, it's Kronii. Are you there?"
No answer. She heard shuffling again. Knocked. No Answer. Kronii could see a shadow peaking out from the light emanating under the door.
"Raora, I heard...well, can I come in, I guess?" Kronii tried to reason. There was a pause. No shuffling this time. Then a whimper. "Okay, this isn't going to work."
"Raora, I KNOW it hurts-" Kronii paused, unable to find the words for a moment. "But, either you let me in normally, or I break down the door," Kronii finished. Kronii looked down at her shoes. She was wearing mismatched socks. Not exactly her usual brand of perfection, but her friend needed her. She didn't care very much about perfection in the rush. Kronii steeled herself. Feeling tears well up in her eyes, Kronii tried one more time: "Please-", she begged. "Raora, let me in."
There was silence. Then-
There she was.
The door had creaked open: just a touch, just enough to see Raora.
And she looked...
Well, it'd be rude to say terrible, but Kronii couldn't think of a better word to describe it. Matted hair, droopy eyes, wrinkled clothes; It looked like she hadn't taken care of herself in days. "Hey," Kronii murmured softly. Raora looked up, dull amber eyes meeting Kronii's. She opened her mouth, lips creating the word "hey" in reply. Muscle memory of many years, ready to instinctually reply. Except there was no sound.
A pause. Raora seemed to realize what she had just done, and froze. She looked down for a moment, a thousand joys dying and being laid to rest in the space between the woman and her friend. Building a fragile mask out of pure necessity, Raora looked back up. She smiled at Kronii: a brittle thing that seemed to live and die in the fractions between every moment. She gestured into the apartment, not looking back to see if Kronii was following.
Nevertheless, Kronii followed.
The apartment was not in a much better state than Raora herself. Clothes were scattered across the floor, dishes laid undone in the sink, and art supplies, usually meticulously cleaned, were unkempt on the sofa. Raora sat on a chair in the corner nearest the window. Despite being in the room with Kronii, it seemed as though she was galaxies away, living in a dimension where she had yet to lose what was lost.
Kronii lightly moved the art supplies to one half of the couch to give herself somewhere to sit down, to which Raora give no reaction. Not a good sign.
Kronii locked her eyes on a random corner of the room. "So, how's it been?" "wow, GREAT job Kronii. I wonder HOW she's been." Raora gave little reaction, just a head wobble in a so-so motion. "Oh, that's...good." mumbled Kronii, still not making eye contact. There was a long and awkward pause; Kronii tried to collect her thoughts, and Raora was unable and unwilling to give them.
"I guess...I wanted to come by and check in, considering...yeah," Kronii rambled, pitch rising as she kept speaking. Raora's eyes glimmered with a split second of gratitude, before dulling again. She mouthed something that Kronii couldn't understand. "Sorry, what?" Raora face took on a flash of frustration, before mouthing once again what Kronii now understood as a lukewarm Thank you. "You're welcome." Kronii replied with an awkward tone. There was a moment of nothing, before it seemed to hit Raora all at once that this is what her life would be from now on. Her face seemed to crumble slightly, being held up with tremendous willpower.
"Hey, are you alright?"
That gentle push was all it took. Raora's mask cracked and crumbled under the immense weight of her grief. Tears filled her eyes, as she emphatically shook her head no. She kept shaking her head, falling forward out of the chair and onto her knees. Kronii got up, startled, to help her back in to her chair, before hesitating. Raora's head was in her hands as her body, wracked with grief, shook. Her mouth opened to scream, tears rolling down her face in fat rivers. No sound came out. Silently, she sobbed.
Kronii had never so badly wanted to hear someone scream before.
Kronii hesitantly walked over to Raora, before encompassing her arms around the grief-wracked Panther. She held her there for a moment, no sound but the silent sobs and rustling of clothes. "Raora, I know everything will be different now, but-" Kronii seemed to fortify her resolve, "I will be your voice," She finished. "If you can't speak, I'll do it for you. If you can't sing, I'll carry your voice with me. If you can't cry, I'll cry for you. If you can't laugh like you used to, I'll find a way to do it for you." Kronii's cheeks were beginning to redden, but she continued on.
"My voice won't just be mine anymore. It can be both of ours."
Raora looked up at Kronii, face red from sobbing, with awe and love dawning in her eyes. In one movement, she buried her head in Kronii's shoulder and began to sob again. "Wait, Raora-uh, is that okay?" Stammered Kronii, now aware of the magnitude of promises she'd dropped on the lady in her arms. Raora's sobs lightened for a moment, and Kronii felt a head move vertically against her shoulder in what she could tell was meant to be a nod.
The two sat on that floor, holding each other in their arms for hours. Eventually, Raora passed out in Kronii's arms, looking more relaxed than she had all day.
Kronii lightly set her down on a nearby pillow, lightly kissed her forehead, and got up to grab a blanket.
idly, Kronii thought about if she had any tea and honey at her house. Her voice had been getting a little sore lately. And that, Kronii thought, was something that could not be afforded anymore.
Her voice wasn't just hers anymore, after all.