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Red light washed over the walls of Kairi's bedroom, drowning out the shades of her hair, as the sun bid the islanders goodnight. The Christmas lanterns hanging from her ceiling came to life. All the while, her pen ran across the flowery stationery paper that she kept on her desk.
Dear Santa,
Thank you for the supplies you sent last year for my craft kit. I'm running low on string and beads, so I'd like some more of those. I would also like…
She paused. The list was all there in her head: some new books, a compass for the raft, the supplies for the craft kit. But she couldn't shake the feeling that there was something else that she wanted desperately. It lingered on the tip of her tongue.
Riku might remember. Maybe even Sora. They'd both stopped believing in Santa years ago. But she wasn't ready to give up hope yet.
…I would also like the next book in the Beneath the Waves series: Secrets of the Coral Palace…My friends and I are building a raft to sail to other worlds, and we'll need to know where we're going, so a compass would be great…
From her bedroom window, Kairi watched the stars come out, each said to represent another world. One of them had to be the world where she once came from.
…I know I say this every year, but if she's still out there, please tell my grandma that I said 'Merry Christmas.'"
"Is that it?" she asked herself out loud. "Was that what I wanted to add?"
No, that wasn't it. The feeling didn't go away. There was something else that she wanted badly. She just couldn't remember what it was.
The Kairi in Naminé's sketchbook stretched out her hand, where it hovered over the letter to Santa. Streaks of red brought color to the white page.
"Merry Christmas, Kairi."
Naminé heard footsteps approaching and shoved the sketchbook under her pillow. They were not the slow, steady tread of Xemnas or Vexen. These were frantic; all over the place. She relaxed a little. There was one person in Organization XIII who ran like that, and he wasn't much of a threat.
Her door opened. Sure enough, it was Demyx. He stumbled inside and dropped to his knees. "Naminé, you…uh…incredibly powerful and amazing memory witch…? Please let me hide in your room? Please?"
Naminé drew her knees up to her chest. Demyx took that for a "yes" and dove under her bed. "You're the best!"
Half a minute later, softer footsteps approached Naminé's room. Rethinking things, she reached for her sketchbook again and turned to a blank sheet so that she could look busy drawing something that had nothing to do with her old life. If Demyx was scared, that usually meant Saïx or Larxene. And Larxene wouldn't be treading softly.
It was Saïx who entered the room that had become her prison. He wasn't the worst it could have been, but he could be terrifying when he wanted to be. She doodled birds flying over a skyscraper.
"Naminé: have you seen Demyx?"
Naminé shook her head.
He must not have expected to get an answer from her, as he didn't question her further. "Thank you." Then he left.
Demyx waited until Saïx's footsteps were absolutely gone before sliding out from under Naminé's bed. "I seriously owe you one. Big time. Thank you so much." He brushed himself off and added. "I mean, it's Christmas! He can't expect me to write mission reports on Christmas! I'm not doing it! Tis the season and all, y'know?"
"But the Organization doesn't celebrate Christmas." Not that she'd been in the mood to celebrate anything since the day they kidnapped her.
"Yeah, well, not the point! It should be illegal to do work today!"
Naminé nodded and waited for him to leave. But Demyx could be a talker, and today appeared to be one of those days. "Like, it's bad enough when they send me to a world like Sleepy Hollow. Oh yeah, send Demyx to check out the legend of the Headless Horseman and see if that's true. Am I the right guy to be doing something like that? No. Do they care? Noooooooo."
She almost felt glad, at a time like this, that she couldn't access his memories. Without hearts, Nobodies' memories were beyond her reach. It meant that she couldn't make them forget her and escape. But it also meant that she wouldn't have to see flashes of the Headless Horseman in this particular moment.
"And then they want me to write a detailed report about the whole thing! So I wrote, 'I'd like to forget this mission ever happened,' and that's when X-face shifted into berserk mode…" He let out a nervous little chuckle. "So, anyways…thanks for saving me. I need to pay you back somehow."
Pay her back? How did he think he was going to do that? She was the Organization's prisoner. He couldn't give her what she really wanted.
"Hmmm…let's see…" He glanced around at the drawings on the walls. "You running low on art supplies? I can get you some colored pencils or something."
"It's okay. I have enough." What she really wanted was for him to go away.
"Oh yeah, I guess the big boss makes sure you've got plenty of them, huh? You're so lucky. I wish I could sit around and play music all day and that was my mission."
"It's okay," Naminé repeated. "I'm fine. You don't owe me anything. Just please don't tell them what I did."
"Ohhhh, no way, I am definitely not doing that. I'd get busted too."
He still wasn't leaving. He paced the room, going from drawing to drawing. "Actually, now that I think about it…it's probably pretty boring sitting in your room all day like this, huh?"
Naminé barely suppressed a sigh.
"Yeah! That's it! I know how I'll pay you back!" Demyx snapped his fingers and a portal opened up. "Oooo, wait up - you need one of our coats, don't you? Hang on, I'll grab one of mine."
"What are you…?"
But Demyx was already gone. Naminé sat frozen on the bed. What was going on? What did he have in mind? Could he…actually be taking her home?
No. Even Demyx wouldn't do something like that.
And in fact, when he returned a minute later, he wasn't holding a spare coat. "So, I just remembered: you're not allowed to leave, right? Saïx would want to kill me even more. And then he'd bring me back and have the boss man kill me again."
Naminé turned away from him and gazed out the window. "Aw, hey, don't be like that," Demyx pleaded. "Don't worry! I have another idea, and it's just as good! Wait right there!"
She said nothing until he finally left. "It's not like I can do anything else." Wait for Demyx. Wait for Vexen to come back for more experiments on her powers. Wait for her friends to finish the raft. Wait for Sora and Kairi to remember her. Wait for someone - anyone - to help her escape.
The raft swayed in and out with the tide. Riku placed his foot against one of the wooden beams to hold it in place.
So many years ago, he'd been standing right on this same beach when the man in the black coat took Naminé away.
"SORA, HELP ME! SORA!"
Sora might have forgotten those last words that Naminé screamed on the beach, but Riku hadn't, and he never would.
"It's for the best," everyone told him. "Dr. Avi says it will just make things worse for Kairi and Sora if they remember. You can talk about Naminé in private, but that's it."
That might help Sora and Kairi, but it wasn't helping Naminé. Yet another Christmas was about to pass without her. She was out there somewhere, alone and scared, while everyone on the islands went about their boring little lives and wished each other a happy new year.
The sun disappeared beneath the waves and the light of other worlds appeared in the sky. Which one had Naminé in it?
Riku clenched his fist. "This'll be the last Christmas that you spend alone, Naminé. I promise. The raft is almost done. After that, I'm coming for you." He cracked a smile. "Think of it like a present that's way overdue."
Only the waves answered, lapping against his feet. He turned around to go home. "See ya."
What had started out as a skyscraper on paper had quickly turned into the mast of a raft. Riku hung off of it. An invisible wind blew his hair sideways. "See you," Naminé said to him.
She heard Demyx coming back, and this time, he'd brought a thick book with him. "This was the best recon mission I ever did," he told her, as he set the book on the empty desk that had been provided for her. "Hopefully that wizard guy doesn't notice it's gone, right?"
Naminé had no idea what he was talking about, but he didn't seem to care. "Ta-da!" The book flipped open. Light glowed from within the pages and Naminé could hear the faint sound of sweet music, like an orchestra warming up.
"It's called a 'Sound Idea.' This wizard guy keeps them in his private magic library," Demyx explained. "It's a whole world inside a book, and the world goes with a piece of music. It's really cool. So, see: I can't take you to another world. But nobody said anything about bringing the world to you, right?"
Naminé still had no idea what he was talking about. "C'mon. Come over here. I'll show you!" he said. That settled things; she couldn't refuse a direct order from an Organization member, even if he was clearly acting outside of Xemnas' authority. Holding her sketchbook to her chest as a shield, she took small steps over to the desk.
"Look, I don't know how else to describe it to you, so I might as well show you. C'mon." He held out his hand for her to take, like they were a couple of friends exploring a new place together, and it was her choice whether to join him or not. But she didn't have a choice. So she took his hand to follow his lead.
A bright light suddenly blinded her. The music swelled, followed by the phantom rap of an invisible conductor.
Then, as the light dissipated, there was a brief silence.
Naminé felt soft grass underneath her feet. The air smelled like flowers. The neon lights from the city beneath the Castle That Never Was had been replaced by soft fairy lights and a starry sky. She heard the gentle sound of a harp floating through the air, yet there was a no harp or harpist in sight.
"Wait…this isn't another world?" she asked. It had to be. They clearly weren't in the World That Never Was anymore.
"It kinda is and it kinda isn't. It's a Sound Idea. You can't travel to it the normal ways, 'cause it only exists inside this book. You get it?"
She nodded slowly. "But the Organization could still notice that I'm gone."
Demyx waved her concerns aside. "Aww, don't worry about it. It's not like I actually took you outside the castle. I'm not technically breaking any rules."
The music had picked up. It made Naminé feel like leaping and dancing, though she couldn't figure out why. "This one's called the 'Nutcracker Suite," Demyx continued. "It's from this really famous ballet."
A ballet - that explained it. Maybe I'm feeling the memories of other people who danced to it, she thought.
"Pretty cool, huh?" Demyx beamed. "I get good ideas every once and a while."
It wasn't what she wanted most, but it was a wonderful gift, now that she stood inside of it. She took increasingly bolder steps into the forest that lay before her. The music soared through the air, encouraging her to keep going. The trees and the flowers seemed to sway with every note, all part of the dance.
If only her friends were here. She could picture Kairi laughing and running ahead of her, then pausing and holding out her hand. "I feel like dancing to this. Don't you?" And she would spin herself and Naminé around and around while the two of them giggled. Neither of them knew ballet, not unless Naminé could find a dancer's memories to absorb. That wouldn't have stopped Kairi.
"Hey! Naminé! Over here! You're gonna love this!"
She'd almost forgotten that she had a guide with her - though he felt more like a guard, even if he didn't see himself that way. He beckoned to her, and she followed. A dirt path took them deep into the forest. The farther they walked, the more the trees changed colors, from the greens of summer to the reds, oranges, and yellows of autumn.
This was a phenomenon that she only knew about through the memory experiments on people from other worlds, victims that the Organization selected. Destiny Islands didn't have trees that changed colors. The leaves of the palms stayed the same all year round, and they never fell. These leaves swirled around her feet as a breeze blew through the air. All in perfect time to the music.
"A little farther…just hang on…"
The air went from chilly to cold. There was always a chill in the Nobodies' lair, but this felt different; fresh and brisk. Demyx noticed her shivering in her white sundress. "Oooo, maybe you do need that spare coat after all." He disappeared in a flash, causing a discordant note to ripple through the air.
Naminé crouched under the shelter of a new kind of tree, shaped like a cone, covered in green needles instead of leaves. She'd seen how people in other worlds decorated them for Christmas. Islanders did the same, but with their own trees back home.
"Whoa!" Sora tripped over a toy boat and would have landed in the palms of the family tree if his mother hadn't caught him in time.
"Careful there, Sora! We're trying to put the tree up, not take it down," she joked.
Sora laughed sheepishly. "Sorry about that."
"Looks like you dropped something too." His mother reached down and let out a gasp as her fingers brushed against a plastic key-chain. Sora scooped it up. There was something vaguely familiar about it. It poked at his memory like the points of the star that made up its shape.
"Huh. Mom, do you remember how I got this?"
His mother reached for some more ornaments. "If you don't remember, how could I know?"
"Yeah. I guess you're right." He started to put it away, but something held him back. What, he didn't know. Something about it looked…lonely.
"Hey, Mom? Can we hang this on the tree too?" he asked, holding the star key-chain up to the light.
She smiled, but her eyes seemed strangely sad. "Yes. I think it would look very nice on our tree."
Hot tears ran down Naminé's cold cheeks. She could see Sora's most recent memory as clearly as she could see the trees in this strange world. But he couldn't see how it connected back to her.
Another discordant note in the music signaled Demyx' reappearance. "Here you go."
Naminé stared at the coat that he held out to her. It had become a symbol of dread ever since she arrived at the castle. The clack of the boots across the floor, the swish of the hem, the build-up of fear when one of them lowered their hood and she had seconds to wonder who had come to torment her this time. She had never had to wear one before.
"You gonna put it on or not?" asked Demyx. "My arms are getting tired over here."
It was just another order that she had to follow. She swallowed her emotions and slipped her arms into the sleeves. It felt like the fabric was squeezing her; the boots closed in around her feet.
"See? Better, right?"
Demyx kept going down the path, humming along with the music. The leaves disappeared and the trees faded away entirely. Now the ground was covered in cold, white snow. She remembered Kairi's disappointment upon discovering that it never snowed on Destiny Islands.
"No snow? Never ever?"
"This is perfect, huh, Naminé?" said Demyx. "You gotta have snow on Christmas. Annnnnd here's what I wanted to show you." They climbed over a hill and saw a pond stretched out below. Except that the water had frozen solid, like one big, flat ice cube.
"Hmmm…usually this world is pretty good about…aha!"
A patch of air filled with sparkling lights, and a wooden board gradually materialized. Demyx grinned. "Sledding time! You ever do this before?" Naminé shook her head. "Okay, how 'bout you go in front? I'll ride in the back."
"What do I do?" she asked.
Demyx patted the edge of the wooden board. "Just sit down right here. I'll push." She did as she was told, and he positioned himself behind her. "Ready? Hold on tight. Here we gooooooo!"
Suddenly, the board slid forward. Naminé yelped and grabbed hold of a piece of rope that served as the reins. The snow swirled around them, always in time to the music. Her stomach swooped as the sled hit a bump and slid out onto the ice. Around and around it spun, and with each turn, it seemed to shake away her fears. For one glorious moment, nothing but the music and the snow existed. She never wanted to stop spinning.
But it did stop, eventually. And as it did so, Demyx jumped off of the sled and immediately lost his balance on the ice. He tried to get up, but he was already dizzy from the ride down the hill. Every attempt sent him toppling down again. He looked so silly that Naminé found herself giggling, then laughing.
"Yeah, yeah, laugh it up." He smiled at her. "Let's see you do better." Then he pulled her out onto the ice, where she too felt her legs slipping out from under her. "No worries! I got you!" he assured her.
It was a good thing he did, because this was harder than it looked. Her boots couldn't get a grip on the ice. Every step she took made her slide all over the place. Demyx had gotten the hang of things and brought her back to the edge of the pond. "Alright, Sound Idea, what've you got for us…?"
The world responded, and two pairs of shoes appeared. But they weren't ordinary shoes; they each had a blade underneath. Demyx showed Naminé how to lace them up, and then they went back out onto the ice. He'd definitely recovered by now. The klutziest, goofiest member of the Organization had shed some of that familiar persona, and now he made bold, confident strokes across the pond.
Naminé wasn't having the same amount of luck. Demyx skated back to her. "Here, I'll keep you steady," he promised. Taking both of her hands, they began to glide around. Left, right, left, right - and then he let go of one hand to spin her around. Naminé felt her skates sliding out from under her again, but Demyx grabbed her before she fell. "You're doing great," he told her.
The ice felt so strange under her feet. It didn't seem real to walk on water, and yet they were. Little white flakes started to fall from the sky. Demyx leaned his head back and stuck his tongue out to catch one. "What?" he said, when he heard her soft giggle. "People do this back home where I come from."
"What was your world like?" she found herself asking.
"Oh, y'know, nothing special. Probably not that different from yours. Where do you come from anyway?"
Naminé looked away.
"Ooo, sorry. Tough subject?"
How could he even think to ask her that question?
"Sorry. I shouldn't have brought it up. Let's go back to skating."
If she didn't know Demyx well enough, she would have thought that he was being deliberately insensitive as a subtle form of mockery. But he wasn't like that. He really did think they were just shooting the breeze, and her troubles were about as real to him as emotions were.
And there was something about this world that kept her from focusing on her pain for too long. Perhaps it was the crisp air, or the music, or simply being away from the oppressive Castle That Never Was. Whatever the cause, here in the Sound Idea, her life didn't seem so inescapable.
She only wished that her friends were with her on the ice. Riku would be the best out of all of them. Sora would probably flop around worse than she did, and Kairi would be unsteady on her feet, but gradually get the hang of it. Selphie would spin around as if she were one of the ballet performers. Tidus would try organizing some kind of game where they would slide around the pond and score points with his blitzball. And Wakka would be hovering over all of them anxiously to make sure they didn't injure themselves.
But it was just her and Demyx. Nobody else.
"We'd better get back," he said. "Time's all wonky here in the Sound Ideas, but you never know when X-face will come calling."
The weight of reality returned, like invisible chains reattaching themselves to Naminé's limbs as they left the pond.
"So: are we even now? Was that fun or what? I'll let you keep it in your room if you want, so you can visit it whenever. Just don't let the boss or X-face see it."
Naminé said nothing as he snapped his fingers and brought her back to her room. But Demyx wasn't taking silence for an answer. "Helloooo?" he asked. "Was that okay or not?"
"Thank you. I had fun." To her surprise, she realized that she meant it.
"Great! If you want some advice: hide that book under the bed. No one will ever look there." He went to the doorway and checked to ensure that neither Saïx, Xemnas, nor any other Organization members lurked outside. "Seriously, thanks a million. Have fun with that book. You totally deserve it."
Naminé managed to give him a weak smile, and then laid back on her bed. The memories swirled around inside of her; the music still echoed in her ears. She closed her eyes and saw a cozy scene back home: a memory of Sora and Riku sitting with Kairi under her family's Christmas tree, eating their way through a large plate of cookies and teasing each other in the ongoing war over Santa's existence.
She opened her eyes, reached for her sketchbook, and drew the frozen pond instead.