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"Merry Christmas, honey..." Pepper said as she placed a Santa hat over her favorite photo of Tony - it was from Morgan's first Christmas; Tony was holding Morgan in his arms while they admired the lights on the Christmas tree. A new sense of wonder aglow, experiencing Christmas through the eyes of his daughter for the first time.
She knew the holidays were always a rough time for Tony, knowing how close the anniversary of his parents' deaths was to Christmas. However, having Morgan and celebrating her first Christmas was what Pepper hoped would be the start of many years of Christmas memories. She was lucky for the three they did get together.
The first Christmas without Tony was brutal. Pepper barely wanted to celebrate - all she wanted for Christmas was her husband back, but she had to pull it off for Morgan's sake. Her daughter deserved to have a good Christmas that year. Pepper was forever thankful for Happy and Rhodey helping to bring some joy to their niece. While Morgan got to see the Rockettes and the tree at Rockefeller Plaza, Pepper got wine drunk at home, crying to the ghost of Christmas futures that would never get to happen.
While each year after that got a little easier, Pepper still missed her husband dearly. This year, was no different. "Morgan, do you want to help me decorate the tree?" She asked, looking at almost eight-year old Morgan. She opened the storage box that contained their ornaments and offered her daughter a smile. "Come on, it'll be fun..."
"Okay," Morgan nodded and went over to look in the box of ornaments. Inside the box were some of her favorite ornaments: her Baby's First Christmas rocking horse, the teddy bear one she got from Peter, and the one that she made at school that was a picture of her and her dad. "Mommy, why do you put a Santa hat on that picture of Daddy?" She asked, looking at what Pepper had just done.
"Oh... well, I want to make sure your dad is included in the festivities," Pepper said, offering Morgan a smile as she attached an ornament to the tree.
"But he's not here," Morgan pointed out.
"I know, sweetie..." Pepper sighed. She could tell Morgan was always a little sadder this time of year. It pained her to know that Morgan was hurting. Though, she didn't know how to make it better. "But sometimes I like to make sure that he's not forgotten. Daddy loved celebrating Christmas with us. It was a tradition that we decorated the tree together."
"Okay..." Morgan said, handing her mom another ornament. "Are we going to have new traditions with Marc?"
Pepper paused for a moment before attaching the ornament to the tree. She had been on a couple dates with her colleague, Marc Kumar. Though, she hadn't committed to anything serious - which Marc understood. The thought of dating again was terrifying - sometimes she was lonely and the companionship was nice, but she didn't think it was going to go anywhere. "No, we're not going to have any new traditions with Marc..." she soon told her daughter. She wondered how Morgan heard about Marc, considering she hadn't mentioned him to anyone (not even Rhodey or Happy).
"I don't want Marc to be my new dad..." Morgan said quietly, before handing her mom another ornament. Every year Morgan wished Santa for the same thing... and every year she was disappointed - she just wanted her dad back, not some new person that her mom liked.
"Morgan H. Stark..." Pepper looked at her daughter, shocked and a little hurt. This is why she hadn't brought Marc up to her daughter yet... she wanted to be able to decide if it was going to be a serious enough thing before introducing the two of them. Sighing, she knelt down so she could be more at Morgan's level. "Morgan... no one will ever replace your father," she told her. "I loved your dad for so many years. I knew him better than he knew himself. And when you came into our lives, he was the most amazing father and I loved him even more. I still love him, even though he's gone. Nothing will ever change that."
Morgan's eyes got shiny and Pepper felt a lump in her throat when she saw that. Wrapping her arms around her, Pepper gently squeezed her. When Morgan sniffled, Pepper squeezed her even harder. "Oh, sweetheart... I'm sorry for upsetting you, I didn't mean to."
Right now, all Morgan wanted was her Daddy, which wasn't possible. Wiggling out of her mother's arms, she ran up to her bedroom.
Sitting on the floor, Pepper watched as Morgan ran upstairs. There wasn't much she could do for her right now, except to allow her daughter to have her space. Grabbing the next ornament from the box, she sighed... it was Morgan's hand print from when she was a baby. Wiping her own tears that overflowed, she hoped this would get easier. Tony would know how to fix this.
Eventually, Pepper made her way up to Morgan's room. Knocking gently, she peeked her head into her room and saw Morgan curled up on her bed, snuggling the Iron Man teddy bear that her uncles had gifted her the first Christmas without Tony.
"Maguna...?" Pepper gently called out to her. "Can I come in? I have something I want to show you."
Morgan looked at her mom, eventually nodding. Pepper made her way over, sitting on the edge of Morgan's bed. Resting a photo album on her lap, she looked at daughter with a smile. "I know you miss Dad... it's completely okay to miss him and be sad about it and it's okay to be happy and remember all the fun times you had with him too."
"But I don't really remember, Mommy..." Morgan said, sitting up to look at her mom. "It's not fair. All the kids at school talk about their family traditions and how they bake cookies with their moms and dads, but I don't have a lot of traditions."
"Of course we do," Pepper tried to reassure her. "It might not look that same as some others, but everyone's families look a little different. We decorate the tree and make Christmas cookies together and we watch Christmas movies. Those are all traditions. I used to have similar traditions with my parents and now I have them with you."
Morgan didn't quite believe her mom, but she still listened.
Pepper smiled, wrapping her arm around Morgan to pull her a little closer as they sat beside one another. "I wanted to show you something," she said, opening up the photo album that she brought up with her. "This was your first Christmas and believe me, we didn't have any traditions figured out yet. But your dad and I were determined to make it the best Christmas ever."
"Pep... I think I broke her, she won't stop crying," Tony said, holding a sobbing Morgan in his arms. Their daughter, now nine months old had been teething and it seemed no amount of bouncing or singing or rocking her would soothe her.
"She's not broken... she's just cranky," Pepper chuckled, holding her hands out to take Morgan from him. The infant had not slept for more than a few hours at a time the past couple weeks and it was starting to get to them. "The pediatrician said this would happen... sleep regression and teething are all apart of this. Once her little teeth cut through, it'll get better. Isn't that right, Morgan? Mhmm." Kissing her crying daughter's cheek, Pepper held her daughter close, gently swaying to try and calm her down.
Looking over at her husband, Pepper offered him a smile. Tony had been a little extra quiet the past couples weeks, but she realized this was because it was getting closer to the anniversary of when he lost parents. December was always hard for him and Pepper wanted to respect his feelings... though, she also wanted to make sure Morgan's first Christmas would be wonderful.
"Tony... she'll be okay," Pepper reassured him. "She's just tired."
Looking at his wife, Tony smiled. "Thanks, Pep... want me to do anything while you try to get her down?"
"Do you think you could get the ornaments ready for the tree? I'll come help once she's asleep," Pepper asked, smiling when Morgan started to quiet down.
"Deal," Tony said, coming over to give Pepper and Morgan a quick kiss before whispering in her ear: "Goodnight, Little Miss... hope you dream of Sugar Plum fairies, or you know... something sweet." He told her before Pepper carried their daughter upstairs.
Soon, his attention turned to the Christmas tree. This wasn't the first tree he and Pepper had ever gotten together, but this was their first Christmas as a family. He knew how much Pepper enjoyed Christmas and he had to admit, having Morgan around was starting to make it feel like a real holiday again.
Grabbing the storage box of ornaments, Tony pulled out a few of the bulbs they had started collecting throughout the years. There was one he had made to remember JARVIS, then one for DUM-E, U, and FRIDAY... then he grabbed the one that Pepper had gotten him last Christmas - their first one as a married couple. It made him smile just thinking about how excited she was about decorating the tree.
Hanging a few on the branches, he tried not to think about how sad Christmas made him. He wasn't sure if his parents would've still been around to see Morgan... but oh how he wished his mother could've met her granddaughter.
"Oh, you started without me?" Pepper's voice came from behind, wrapping her arms around his waist.
Tony had lost track of time, so he wasn't sure how long Pepper had been upstairs with Morgan. Turning around, he offered her a smile. "I'm sorry, I was caught up in the moment, I suppose." Leaning in, he stole a quick kiss. "You can fix whatever you want, if you don't like it," he said and laughed when Pepper shook her head.
"No, that's okay... I think what you've started looks beautiful," she told him, kissing him back before going to get some of her own ornaments for the tree. "We'll have to attempt to get a family picture in front of the tree, hopefully Morgan will cooperate for a just a few moments when that happens."
"I'm sure we'll get something," Tony told her, watching as Pepper put some ornaments on the tree. He watched her for a moment, smiling to himself. As exhausted as they both were, she was positively glowing. He knew how worried Pepper was when they were expecting Morgan, wondering if she'd be a good mom - but she was the best mom. He could always feel the warmth and love radiating off her whenever Morgan was around.
Putting on a Christmas record and making sure it wasn't too loud, the two took their time decorating the tree. Plus, Morgan gave them a solid hour and a half of being able to decorate before she felt the need to make her presence known.
That night, while everyone was supposed to be sleeping, Tony awoke to the sound of Morgan screaming from her crib. He felt Pepper stirring, but reached his hand over to touch her shoulder. "I've got her, you sleep..." he said, pressing a sleepy kiss to her shoulder. Climbing out of bed, he pulled on his robe and made his way over to Morgan's room. The baby was sitting up in her crib, sobbing. "Oh, what's all this fussing about?" He said, picking Morgan up. Cuddling her close, he held her for just a moment, wanting his daughter to know that he was was there and he wasn't going anywhere.
Once Morgan's cries quieted down some, Tony quickly gave her a diaper change before bringing her downstairs to get a bottle. "Shh... Mommy's sleeping," she said while passing their bedroom. Carefully climbing down the stairs, he brought Morgan to the kitchen while she fussed the whole time while waiting for her bottle. "Here you go," he said, offering her the bottle. Morgan refused it a few times, opting for crying a little harder, but soon she gave in to take the bottle.
Tony carried her to the living room and he stood by the window, looking outside. "Oh Little Miss... it's snowing," he said, watching the snowflakes falling. "You know... Christmastime is really hard for me, but you, Little Miss... you're making this Christmas feel a lot different. Hell, you probably won't even remember this Christmas, but you're making it pretty special." He glanced down at his daughter, who was hungrily gulping down her bottle. Tony figured she must've been hungry after all of her fussing throughout the day.
Soon, he brought her over to the Christmas tree. The lights had been turned off, but he clicked the switch on with his foot and smiled when the whole room illuminated with the warm glow of the white lights from the tree. Morgan's eyes went wide when the tree went on, her focus on the bottle disappeared as she stared at the tree. Tony chuckled when he said the look of wonder on his daughter's face. "Isn't it beautiful? Your mom did a great job decorating it," he said, setting the bottle on the table before bringing Morgan closer to the tree.
Readjusting the baby in his arms, Tony brought Morgan a little closer to the tree, smiling when the baby reached for one of the bulbs. "Oh, maybe not that one, it's glass... what about this one?" He said, showing her a different ornament - a fluffy alpaca one that Pepper gifted him last year. "That's for Gerald. Yep, Mommy gave that one to me. She's so thoughtful like that. I'm terrible at giving gifts, but I promise I'll get better," he said, pressing a kiss to the top of Morgan's head. For a moment, they just observed the tree. Morgan was so interested in the lights and the shiny ornaments, that Tony realized she finally had stopped crying. He knew this was probably only temporary, but he would cherish every moment of this.
Pepper wasn't sure how long Tony had been out of bed, but it sure felt like a long time. Sitting up, she looked over to see that he still hadn't made it back to bed and she couldn't hear Morgan anymore either. Getting up, she pulled on her sweater and peeked into Morgan's room, but didn't see them anywhere. Then, she could see lights illuminating the stairs and quietly made her way downstairs.
Tony was standing with Morgan near the Christmas tree and Pepper couldn't help but smile when she saw them. Thankful that she typically left her phone at the table, she grabbed it before taking a couple quick pictures. Since it was dark, she had to be still... and even if they came out a little blurry, she'd treasure this moment forever. Setting her phone aside again, she went over to her husband and daughter. "What are you two doing?" She whispered, offering Tony a smile.
"I was showing Morgan all of the ornaments on the tree," He said, smiling when the baby saw her mom, instantly reaching for her. Passing her over to Pepper, he leaned in to kiss her. "She loves all of them."
"Is that so?" Pepper said, kissing him back, before pressing a kiss to the top of Morgan's head. "I think we should try getting this little one back to sleep, don't you think?" She asked, it was so early in the morning and maybe now that Morgan was quiet, they could at least get a couple more solid hours of sleep.
"Yeah... let's go," Tony agreed, allowing his ladies to lead the way, turning off the lights to the tree before following them upstairs. It was going to be a Christmas to remember, that he'd make sure of.
"So that's why you always put that picture out at Christmas time?" Morgan asked as she traced her fingers along the photo. She missed her dad so much... every Christmas she wished Santa would bring him back to their family, but every year it never happened.
"Mhmm... it reminds me of how much joy you brought to our lives and how much I wish your dad was still here to see it," Pepper told her, kissing the top of Morgan's head. "I like to put the Santa hat on it because that's the same one dad wore every year on Christmas day. I know our traditions seem different nowadays, but we still get to have some of them and even make new ones."
Morgan sighed, leaning into her mother's shoulder. She was quiet for a moment, thinking about what her mom said. Then, she looked at her. "New traditions for just us?" She asked. "Well... for Uncle Happy and Uncle Rhodey too?"
Pepper chuckled quietly at the inclusion of the uncles, nodding to her daughter. "Yes, new traditions for just us and Uncle Happy and Uncle Rhodey... and even Peter and Aunt May if you'd like. Christmas will always be a little sad because your dad isn't here... but he wouldn't want us to be sad forever."
Holding her daughter for a little longer, the two of them looked through the rest of the pictures in the album, Morgan smiling at seeing her baby pictures with her dad and seeing how happy they all looked. "Mommy... can we finish decorating the tree?" She soon asked.
"I'd love that, come on..." Pepper smiled, taking Morgan's hand as they headed back downstairs. Perhaps she could still salvage this Christmas, even if just a little.