Work Text:
Zombie: Hey, random question, what are your favorite flowers?
Shiro: Roses, why?
Zombie:
Shiro: Were you going to get me flowers?
Zombie:
Shiro:
Zombie: it’s a possibility
Zombie, trying to flirt: So, you come around here often?
Shiro, confused: I mean, this is my house, so yeah.
Shiro: People actually need to learn the difference between “then” and “than”
Zombie: thean
Shiro: Zombie.
Shiro: Let me know when you’re home safely
Zombie: I’m home dangerously
Shiro: Stop it
Zombie: I’m home lethally
Shiro: *Trips and hundereds of drawings of zombie fall out of his pocket and scatter across the floor*
Zombie: .. .----. -- / ... --- .-. .-. -.-- [translation: I’M SORRY]
Shiro: What's that?
Zombie: Remorse code.
Shiro: I'm even angrier now.
Zombie: Am I in trouble?
Shiro: Take a guess.
Zombie: No?
Shiro: Take another guess.
Shiro: Don’t worry, I have a few knives up my sleeve.
Zombie: I think you mean cards.
Shiro, pulling knives out of their sleeves: No, I do not.
Zombie: So that’s my plan.
Shiro: Are you alright with constructive criticism? I don’t want to sound mean.
Zombie: No, go ahead, I want to hear it.
Shiro: It fucking sucks.
Zombie: That’s not constructive criticism.
Shiro: That’s not a plan.
Zombie: You saved me. I owe you my life.
Shiro: No thanks. I’ve seen it and I’m not very impressed.
Zombie: What’s up guys? I’m back.
Shiro: What the- you can’t be here. You’re dead. I literally saw you die.
Zombie: Death is a social construct.
Shiro: *holding a bottle* Is this whiskey or perfume?
Zombie: *chugs entire bottle*
Zombie: It’s perfume.
Zombie: I've already sent good vibes your way… they’re coming. There’s nothing you can do to stop them.
Shiro: This is the most threatening way I’ve ever been cheered up.
Zombie: So what’s for dinner?
Shiro, staring at the food they just burnt: Regret.
Shiro: I could strangle you
Zombie: You aren’t tall enough
Shiro: I need your advice for something
Nadia: leave him.
Shiro: Have you considered at least hearing me out first?
Shiro: How can I communicate to wild rabbits that I am their ally?
Zombie: *smugly* I win!
Shiro: I have you pinned to the floor?
Zombie:Exactly.
Shiro: Zombie, we tried things your way and it didn’t work
Zombie: No we didn’t?
Shiro: I tried it in my head and it didn’t work.
Zombie: Well I wouldn’t put it into those words exactly
Shiro: Why not?
Zombie: Because I don’t know what they mean
Shiro: Alright on the count of three, we both apologize
Shiro: 1, 2, 3!
Shiro:
Zombie:
Shiro: Ok I’m just disappointed in the both of us.