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"Beast boy, wake up." Robin's voice startled the green titan awake as he awoke with a scream. Looking around, panting, Beast boy noticed that he was in his room, not back in the house of mirrors. With Slade, and...and with Terra. He turned to register his leader who was crouching in the dark of the room, staring at him in concern. "Beast boy" Robin said again, his voice soft. "It's ok, it was only a dream." Yeah, right. Maybe it had been a dream, but what had happened in it was very much real. Beast boy had fought Slade, Terra had betrayed them and he had rejected Terra when he promised her not to.
"Doesn't mean it didn't happen," he muttered, more to himself than to Robin. He then layed back down on his bed again. Robin sighed, looking like he didn't know what to say. A look then came across Robin's face as he stood up, seeming to have something in mind. "Come on," he said. "Lets go." Beast boy really didn't want to. But the look he was getting from his leader told him that he didn't get much of a say in it. Reluctantly, he sat up and got out of bed, following the other teen.
He shivered slightly at the cold air as he and Robin made their way down the halls of Titans tower into the kitchen. "Sit down" Robin said. It was an order, but Robin said it like a suggestion as he went over to open the cupboard. Beast boy did as he was told and made his way over to one of the chairs. Robin proceeded to pull out two cups, placing them on the counter. "I know you don't want to talk about it," the Boy Wonder started. "Believe me I understand." That was an understatement. "What's there to talk about?" The younger titan asked bitterly. "It doesn't change anything. She still betrayed us." "I know." Robin said as he pulled out two packets from another cabinet. Beast boy tried to suppress his wince. Robin's voice sounds tired. He realized that Robin's probably not taking any of this as well either. Actually, scratch that, Robin is definitely taking this as well as the shape shifter was. Which was to say, absolutely not taking this well.
Of course he wouldn't, Robin's the leader. Of course he would be taking this even worse than Beast boy himself in some ways. The team ambushed and injured, Slade getting away and Terra betraying them, he most likely feels responsible for all of it. Seeing all of this as his personal failure. With that in mind, Beast boy's tone is gentler. "This isn't your fault, you know." he said. "It isn't. Truly. The only two people who are responsible for this are gone." The spiky haired teenager doesn't say anything for a moment, turning the electric kettle on. "Thanks." The leader of the Titans said. The tone making it obvious that he didn't really believe his younger teammate. "I'm sorry that you went through that." Robin said after a moment. Beast boy was quiet as his leader continued to heat up the water. As Robin pored the chocolate into the cups Beast boy spoke again. "I-" he started. "I really liked her. You know? And now..." His voice cracked at the end, trialing off. Robin paused in putting the kettle down to look at him, masked eyes filled with sympathy.
"Why?" Beast boys voice is a whisper. "Why did she do it?"
Why?
That's what truly haunts the youngest titan. Why had Terra betrayed them after everything they had tried to do for her? Sure she couldn't control her powers but they would have all helped with that. Why didn't she trust them enough to tell them and get help? Had Terra truly just hated them? No. That couldn't be. Beast boy had seen the girl's face as he denounced her. It had felt good in the heat of the moment, but now he felt awful. If only he had heard her out, then maybe...
"She betrayed and almost killed us BB." Robin's voice is soft. "If I had been the one there instead, I would have done worse."
"I thought she loved us." Beast boy's voice cracked as he spoke next. "I thought she loved me."
Robin set the cups down on the table, giving one to the heartbroken titan. Beast boy was suddenly hit with what his leader had been doing during the whole discussion at this point, and took a sip. It was sweet and warm and exactly what he needed. "I was always given hot chocolate to cheer me up when I was a kid." Robin expalned. "Thanks," Beast boy said, his mind still elsewhere. Robin nodded as he took a sip of his own. "We'll find them." He promised. "We'll find them, get Terra out and make them both pay." But that was the thing. Beast boy didn't know if he wanted to make Terra pay or not. He loved her yet she had betrayed them. She had been manipulated by that monster wearing human skin but she had tried to kill all of them. Truth be told, he had no idea what he wanted. He fully understood what he should want, but that didn't make his feelings any less complicated.
There was silence for a time as they drank the hot chocolate. Eventually, both boys had finished and put the cups in the sink. "Follow me." Robin said. He turned and walked off, leaving a confused Beast boy trailing after him.
Once the two teens made their way over to the double mechanical doors Beast boy realized what the teen wonder had in store. "You sure this will help?" He asked as they walked into the training room. "We're both angry." The titan leader replied. "Beating the crap out of the bots might clear our heads a bit." "I don't need to clear my head." The green titan protested. "I'm not as angry anymore." Though Beast boy knew it was a lie the moment he said it. "I have a feeling you do," the boy Wonder replied. "And you have more than a right to be." "Not anymore than the rest of you." Beast boy said. He remembered Terra meditating with Raven as they began to trust each other, Cyborg and Terra working on the T-car, Robin warming up to her and them sparring together, Starfire making food from her own planet and Terra eating it happily even though the rest of them all hated it. How...how could she? They loved her. And she threw it all away for a psychopath. "You loved her," Robin said. "You loved her and she betrayed you. You have a right to be more upset than the rest of us."
"I don't. You all cared about her too" Beast boy repeated. "But I am upset." He growled. "She..she betrayed us. She almost killed us." He screamed out the next words. "HOW COULD SHE!? AFTER EVERYTHING!? HOW COULD SHE DO THIS!? " With those words he turned into a tiger, leaping at the training bot before pinning it down. He then turned into an anaconda, wrapping himself on the bots neck, he squeezed. The robot shuddered, briefly trying to escape before its head popped off. Changing into a gorilla, he then proceeded to smash the nearest training robot into pieces. Robin was jumping, striking the robots with his bo staff with each hit. It took no time at all before each of the training robots were in pieces on the floor. Robin was right, ripping apart the training bots was exactly what he needed to clear his head. Changing back, he turned to face Robin. Before he could say anything, he suddenly remembered something his leader had said back in the kitchen.
"Get Terra out."
"You-" he started. "You said something about getting Terra out?" Robin suddenly looked very uncomfortable as he answered the question. "Yes." He admitted. "I-I know what Slade's like, and I don't wish that on anyone. Not even her."
Beast boy couldn't help but freeze in surprise at Robin's admission. In the five months since Robin's forced apprenticeship to Slade, he had never once talked about it. At least not with him. That doesn't mean that Robin was good at hiding what had happened. Especially in the beginning. No one had specifics as far as he knew, but they all heard the teen's nightmares at night. Beast boy himself had come across their young leader in the dead of night not unlike this one once. Jumpy and smelling of terror. Though Robin had said he was fine, Beast boy knew that the boy had recently come out of some sort of panicked state and was trying not to show it. And then there was that time when Robin was sparring with Cyborg, and had froze up, entire body tense like he expected to be hit.
It made Beast boy furious. How DARE he hurt Robin! How DARE he manipulate and use Terra!
Robin went to collect what little was left of the robots when a question formed in Beast boy's mind. One he couldn't shake even though he knew better than to ask this. In a weird mix of blurting out the words and asking tentatively he asked. "What was it like with him?" Beast boy knew he made a mistake the moment he opened his mouth, watching as Robin tensed. The boy wonder spun around eyes wide.
"Don't-" Robin half choked half spat."Don't you ever go there." Beast boy flinched, cursing himself for asking that when he knew this was what the response was going to be. Robin froze, looking horrified. "Beast boy I-I'm sorry." He said. Voice slightly shaking.
"It's ok dude." Beast boy said quickly. Not wanting an argument to erupt. "I shouldn't have asked you that." "No, i-it's not on you." The Titan leader replied. A long moment of silence hung over them, heavier than a boulder. "I'm sorry." Robin said again. "Not just for snapping just now." He continued before his teammate could speak. "But for everything. For Red X, going off on my own, joining Slade." "Dude," Beast boy said. Sure, Red x was a mistake, but Slade would killed them if Robin didn't join. Anyone would have done it, himself included. "I get it. You messed up with the Red X thing, yeah, but you owned up to that, and you have nothing to apologize about for the apprenticeship. We'd all be dead if it weren't for you doing that. Anyone would have done the same thing."
For the first time that night, Robin gave a genuine smile. "Thanks Beast boy. It-it means a lot." Robin paused for a moment, seeming to be debating with himself about something. Eventually, the teen wonder spoke up again. "As for your question," Robin began, mentally bracing himself. When continued his voice was quiet and it slightly shook."It was awful. Every last second of it."
Beast boy found himself at a lost for words. He wanted to say something to comfort his leader, but he had no idea how. Eventually the green titan found his voice, deciding on what to say. "It won't happen again." He promised. Continuing on before Robin could speak. "We won't let him hurt you again. You can count on us. I promise." Robin had a mix of emotions on his face. Surprise, gratitude, relief. "Thank you." Robin said, voice thick. "And, thanks for getting me out of there." "Of course." Beast boy said. Another moment of silence blanketed them. "You're right. We'll stop them." Beast boy said. "We'll save both Terra and the city." Robin smiled. "Come on," the leader said. "It's about time we got some sleep."
With those words the two boys made there way back into the hallway where their rooms were. "Night BB." Robin said, trying and failing to stifle a yawn. "Night Rob." Beast boy said. Yawning as well. Beast boy went into his room and climbed on the bed. He was exhausted. But he also felt lighter than he did before. Feeling more certain than ever that they would get through all of this. "Good night Terra." He thought. "We'll save you soon enough."
And with that thought, the green titan had the most peaceful sleep he had since he last saw her.
