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There's an air of stiffness that hasn't gone away with time. Really, it's only gotten worse.
And that explains why he's here. He's done living with it. Virgil, the ador- er, annoying, emo he is, is right! This is the time for action. Janus may have fooled him with his slimy charm, but he's not going to let Patton get roped along the same way! Now, he's trying to get into the Light's territory, and that is where Roman draws the line.
So he's, ah, in Patton's room. And frankly, he doesn't have to do any digging. He thought it would be harder than this, which makes it all the worse when he sees those stupid, stupid yellow dishwashing gloves sitting right there on his stupid nightstand like it's Patton's trophy, and that's what makes him lose it.
He picks them up, holding the latex away from him like they're contaminated—and then Patton is there, right outside his room, looking on with wide, confused eyes. Like an innocent deer. As if.
"I can't believe you let him do this to you, Patton," Roman starts, and he's doing that thing he does before the yelling starts—big blue eyes widen, then the flash of anger, the set of his jaw, a ridiculous attempt at looking scary with those freckles. Or, rather, it would be ridiculous, if Roman didn't know what the man with that face is capable of. And then he's tensing, looking to the ground, pressing his lips into a thin line.
But nothing comes. A sharp intake of breath, after a moment, and then Patton finally speaks.
"I- I. Um. Look, Roman, I..." And Roman does look, and if he didn't know any better, Patton just looks bashful.
"I'm sorry."
And then there's that quiet again. The tension of waiting.
And then that moment of silence passes, and Roman opens his mouth. A sharp laugh escapes him.
“Apologize? You want to apologize? You wanna say sorry now? You must think I'm stupid,” he all but growls. Janus must really be rubbing off on Patton, he thinks, anger rising in him like a rabid animal. For extra emphasis, he throws the rubber glove in his hand to the ground. And Patton stiffens, because of course he does, of course he's tensing like he's the child being scolded, but then he opens his mouth again, and—
"You didn't- You don't deserve... I'm sorry. I'm sorry now, Roman. I... I know this is weird. And hard." And if that doesn't feel like a parent telling his kid to warm up to his new stepparent after the divorce, then not much else would. It certainly doesn't help, whatever it is.
“No, you don't understand,” Roman draws, running a hand through his hair. This stress cannot be good for it. “He is a user, Patton! Manipulating you for his own gain!” And Patton slumps.
“I do. And he… He is. Or… was. I don't know. What matters is he's trying to… not be that. What he did to you was wrong, Roman, and I'm gonna make sure he apologizes for it. And—and so is he.”
And if that doesn't take the storm out of his sails, because what is he supposed to say to that without sounding like a child?
“He's evil. You… You said he was evil. And the second I fully agree, you change your mind. And- And now what? You're in love with him!” He stomps on the yellow latex smear on the ground, then looks back up to Patton, tears stinging his eyes.
And Patton looks flushed, like a fish out of water for a moment, mouth agape, before shaking his head a bit and sputtering.
"Ohh-hoo, boy, that's- Roman, I-. Hm." And this time, it's Patton's turn to run his hand through his hair, taking a breath before walking, finally, into the room. He looks uncomfortable, like, really uncomfortable, not just 'saw Roman's search history' level but 'it's time to have The Talk' level and that may be the most terrifying expression he's ever made. But then he smiles a bit, almost shy, and reaches for Roman, wiping the now-falling tears with the pad of his thumb. Fatherly.
"Roman, that's not... how I work, at least. I'm not, um... in love with anyone. If I was, you'd be the first to hear. We had a few drinks together. Alright? That's it. He left his gloves, and I didn't want to be rude and... toss them, or anything. And I-." There's that uncomfortable look again. He drops his hand, looking kind of sideways.
"Roman, I was... I was wrong. Like I was wrong with Virgil." And there's a long, long pause, like he wants to say something else.
He doesn't.
He takes a breath after a moment, turning back and grabbing Roman's hands.
"Things are changing. And it's- it's different. But... we're gonna make the best of it, okay? 'Cause that's what we do." He smiles more widely, letting go and moving to hug him—then hesitating, as though remembering something.
"Is... Is a hug okay right now, kiddo?” And Roman, with all his blubber and tears barely contained, nods.
Patton smiles more warmly, and pulls him into a hug, gentle and caring and suffocating and, good God, it's been so, so long.
After a moment, Patton pulls away, taking another readying breath.
"Listen. I know- and I know I keep saying this, but it really is, um, hard. And we're all just... doing what we know. But—Roman... Please, please just talk to me. I know Virgil's gonna have... well, hard might be oversimplifying things for him, and Logan's..." He waves a hand vaguely. "Logan. But- work with me, okay? Please.” And honestly? Roman can't tell who's more surprised how quickly he breaks, Patton or himself.
"I know you always say hating people is wrong. But I hate him, Patton. I hate the way this shit makes me feel. Sometimes I hate y... the way you defend him so quickly and say he's ‘trying his best’, but I don't know what to believe anymore, and-" He stops himself abruptly before he spirals out. (Again. He's so pathetic right now that it makes him feel a bit sick.) "I'm sorry. Patton, I'm so sorry, I… I don't want to feel this way, but I do.”
Patton cringes at his cuss, but doesn't respond for a long moment. Then, he presses his lips into that line again, thinking, then nods. He takes another breath.
"Listen, it's... Difficult, at its easiest, to control your emotions. I think we've all been learning that. And sometimes, the only way through it is to... feel them. You're not... You're not doing anything wrong, Roman. You're not." Patton awkwardly scratches his arm through his sleeve. "It's-... understandable," He finishes after a moment, careful and looking at the ground.
Roman looked up at Patton, finally able to look him in the eyes. "Is it going to get any easier?" His voice was quiet. Only one or two stray tears rolled their way down his cheeks. "Dealing with these emotions." His hands trembled. He wanted to hug Patton again, tightly. Why was he afraid to? It used to be so easy. Simple.
And then Patton smiles again, like he's back in familiar territory. "It's never easy. It's just good and sometimes... not as good. But it's been good before, Roman. and it's going to be good again." And he hesitates, just for a second, but this time he doesn't ask before pulling Roman back into another hug, tighter this time. And when Roman begins to sob against him, heavy things that wrack his whole body with cringes and tightness, Patton only moves to start rubbing at his back, like he did with Roman was young, sneaking into Patton's room after a bad nightmare or when the thunder would spook him too much.
Some habits are gonna have to die hard. Though his makeup is running, smearing against Patton's shirt as he hugs him like a man dying, Roman thinks he's okay with that.