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It was a quiet day in the shared apartment of Kenya and Akira. Kenya was sitting on the couch, watching whatever TV channel had anything interesting going on while Akira sat by his side, reading a book Yuzu had thrown at him in a rush while telling him to read it before the next time they met. The more time went on, the more disgruntled and confused his expression became.
Kenya glanced over at him, trying to figure out what was going on inside his brilliant mind. But, well, Kenya was no mind reader. Even if that would be really helpful with communication with someone like Akira sometimes. “Something wrong?” he asked, wondering if he would be able to help out Akira with his apparent dilemma of whatever he had just read about in that book of his.
Akira froze in the middle of turning a page, then let out a sigh as he turned over the page and set the book down next to him. “Is that what I feel for you?” Akira asked, sounding unsure himself. “Love?”
Now it was Kenya's turn to freeze. He blinked, chuckling nervously. “Um, well, that's something you have to figure out for yourself?”
Truth be told, Kenya had been considering himself and Akira a couple since they had moved in together a few months ago, but they had never had a proper conversation about it. (He was slowly starting to realize that maybe that had been a mistake.)
Akira grimaced. “Why are emotions so complicated?” he muttered under his breath and honestly, Kenya fully agreed. It had taken Kenya a while until he had realized his feelings for the brunette, and even then he had to be nudged by his brother to finally take the next few steps. (Though apparently they skipped a few. Maybe that's why Shinya had looked at him with disappointment back then.) “Do you love me?”
“W-What brought this on?” Kenya asked nervously, though he could guess that it had something to do with the book Yuzu had given him. He tried to look at the title that he hadn't paid attention to before, but Akira was blocking his view of it.
“Is that a no?” Akira asked, eyebrows furrowing with a hurt look in his eyes. Before Kenya could respond, he blinked, looking dumbfounded. “Oh. Hm. I see. Okay. Well, I will... go for now.”
Akira stood up, grabbed the book and made his way over to the door.
“I do!” Kenya called after him, but if anything, that only made Akira leave faster. “Akira–!”
When the door closed, Kenya stared at the closed door for a while before letting out a groan, burying his face in his hands.
“How did you know you were in love with Anya-kun?”
“Hello to you too, Akira!” Akatsuki giggled after he was pulled outside by his brother to talk about... this, apparently! “Did you finally talk to Kenya-san about your feelings?”
Akira blushed, sputtering. “Well that– I'm trying to figure that out. Now answer my question.”
Akatsuki put a finger on his chin and hummed. “I don't know how it happened, but I just always want to be around him? But not in the way I want to be around Yuzu-senpai. It's different.”
“The book– I mean I've been told romantic and platonic love are different but I find it... hard to differentiate...”
Akatsuki lit up. “Oh, did she finally give you the book?”
“You know about the book?”
“Everyone knows about the book!”
“Everyone knows about the book???”
“We've been waiting for you for a while. Yuzu-senpai suggested to give you a book on romance recently and to force you to read it,” Akatsuki explained cheerfully, “She was confident you'd connect the dots quickly. Seems like her plan worked!”
Akira opened his mouth, but then closed it again because technically it did work. Somehow. He knew she had been up to something, otherwise she would've never given him a book like this, but still, Akira hadn't expected this to be the outcome.
Akatsuki leaned forward, almost vibrating with the force of his excitement. “And? Did you talk to him about it? What did he say?”
“I... did ask him if he loves me. He said nothing–”
The door slammed open, Anya quickly stepping outside. “He did what?!”
Seems like everyone truly meant everyone. Akira supposed being interested in his brother's love life made sense.
“–If you would let me finish,” Akira continued with a tired sigh and then continued, feeling uncomfortable. “He didn't respond with an immediate yes and even seemed hesitant, which... hurt. So I suppose that maybe deep down, I do have feelings for him. That's how I...”
He trailed off.
Anya frowned. “No immediate yes? So he did say yes?” Anya asked. His eyebrow twitched. “Then why are you here again?”
Akira wasn't proud of his reaction, but his first reaction to this strange hurt feeling he had experienced was flight. But his reaction to a positive response was also flight because he had to get his feelings in order first and understand them before facing Kenya again. Kenya, who seemed to love him. For how long had that been the case? How long had this gone on for without being properly addressed?
Akatsuki put a hand on Anya's shoulder. “You know how he is– he needs time.”
Anya turned to Akatsuki with an incredulous expression on his face. “They've had years!”
Akira blinked. “Years?” If it had been years, then... huh?
Anya stared at him. “You haven't realized– you know what, I'm going back inside,” he said, stepping back, shaking his head, “Talk it out with Ken-nii. I'm sure he's worried about you going for a drive while upset.”
“I already sent him a message that I've arrived safely,” Akira responded. He may be questioning his feelings but that didn't mean he would forget doing something so crucial. (Kenya's own accident made him a little bit more conscious about potential car crashes than the average person. But Akira didn't mind.)
Anya looked at him with a brief grateful look before going back inside, leaving him outside alone with his brother. “Sooo,” his brother said, smiling, “What are you going to do about it now?”
“I think I should probably go back and... talk,” Akira replied with a sigh, “I can't avoid this forever. And... I think I'm a bit more sure of my feelings for him now, Akatsuki, so thank you.”
Akatsuki tilted his head to the side. “But I didn't do anything?”
Akira laughed softly. “Talking about it helped immensely.”
He couldn't say he wasn't still scared of getting his feelings hurt, but... well, his worry seemed a little bit foolish now. And besides, it was Kenya. The one who had been beside him for all these years and supported him unconditionally. Who had seen him break down and helped to build him back up. The one whose smile lit up the world around him and always made his worries seem like they were melting away in his presence.
...He really should have realized this sooner.
“Well, glad to have helped, then!” Akatsuki cheered, shoving him from behind, giving Akira no choice but to stumble along back to his car, “Now go back to your boyfriend and convince him to like actually date you officially! Don't worry, it won't be hard!”
And then he was back in his car, staring down at the romance book on the passenger seat.
Well, here goes nothing.
When he walked through the door of their apartment and closed the door behind himself, Kenya jumped up from his position on the couch and quickly walked over to him.
“I'm–” they both started at once, then quickly shut up and shyly looked to the side.
“You go first,” Kenya said and looked back at him.
“I'm... sorry for just leaving,” Akira apologized, “We should've continued that conversation right then and there instead of... me just leaving because I was scared of...”
“Feeling?” Kenya suggested gently and seeing Akira nod hesitantly, continued, “I know you. It didn't offend me or anything. You didn't know, right? So you needed a moment to process it. To be honest, I didn't expect you to come back so soon.”
Akira winced. “That–”
“I'm sorry that I didn't make my feelings clear enough,” Kenya continued, “And I'm sorry for acting like I did too. It caught me off-guard and I didn't really know how to react... But just to make it clear, I do love you. Very much so.”
Akira looked into Kenya's eyes. Kenya looked back at him with a sincerity that was so very him. If there had been any doubt left before this moment, there wasn't any now.
“For... how long?” Akira asked. “For how long has this been...”
Kenya chuckled nervously, self-consciously. “I thought about this a lot,” he started, a faint blush on his cheeks, “And, well, I came to the conclusion that my feelings for you have always been there. This might sound weird but when I first saw you, I just... had this urge to be with you. As a friend, then slowly as more. But still, I always knew you were... special to me.”
He remembered Akatsuki's words, that he didn't know how it happened but that he always wanted to be around him, but that it was different from how he wanted to be around one of his normal friends.
All this time...
“I,” Akira started awkwardly, “Can't say the same, unfortunately. I wish I could, but for me it's not... you didn't always fit so perfectly into my life, like a missing puzzle piece.”
Kenya laughed, looking at him with a fond look in his eyes. “I know, you absolutely hated my guts when we first met! I was insufferable.”
“No!” Akira burst out, then winced once again. “Well. Okay. Maybe that's not too far off from what I thought... But I don't think that way anymore!”
“I know,” Kenya said, smiling softly, “You wouldn't have shared your deepest secrets with me if you still thought the same about me. You wouldn't have even spared me a glance after we graduated from school and wouldn't have even considered my ridiculous suggestion of moving in with me.”
He was right, he wouldn't have. Akira was glad... that Kenya knew him so well. Understood him. Accepted him. (Back then, he had barely tolerated his presence, still distrustful of basically anyone approaching him– especially someone as insistent as Kenya had been on friendship, even after being turned down by Akira several times. He had never given up. Akira was glad he didn't. Without Kenya's interference, Akira would have... continued distancing himself from everyone around him after the fire that took away his father.)
Akira smiled back. “I love you, Kenya.”
Kenya laughed softly, leaning his forehead against his, relishing in the moment. “It feels good to hear you say that.”
Entering each other's lives had truly been the best thing to happen to them.