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It was a pleasant night a tea party signed the beginning of autumn, the fresh breeze scatter all over the garden while the flames of lantern and torches flickered in the wind, brushing among the vegetation scattering the sweet scent of flowers and perfumes all around the palace
Some nobles, still sober, were chatting up sat on the luscious settee or staying near bushes, while others already drunken started to retire or at best to hide somewhere until it the party finished while other were busy with love affair of sort, hidden by the dark cover of the night, enjoying thoroughly the quiet corner the garden to care much for anything else.
Everyone was having fun.
Until that moment.
The sudden and unscheduled appearance of the brutal beast put everyone on edge.
Everyone but her.
In fact she had got close enough to him to know his visit was not of pure leisure and neither led by duty, since he had already shown himself off for business at the beginning of the party, let alone retire in his library for the night.
His presence had only one reason, he required her help, something she was more happy to provide.
Chevalier icy blue gaze focused on each group of people in the garden, a tiger on a hunt until he caught his prey.
His movements were smooth and unhurried as he approached a girl talking cheerfully with a noble who, judging by his flushed cheeks, must have been quite drunk, yet not enough to avoid noticing him.
Not so elegantly he stumbled away, or at least did his best to do it unnoticed, thing he failed miserably at, tripping on a bush flapping his arms in vain before finishing face on the ground much to her amusement.
She giggled at herself before trailing her gaze on the new guest, whose hot breath on her ear pulled back into reality.
“Go fetch my fool brother and bring him inside.”
The alcohol made her feel weird, hot when outside it was cold, worried despite the calmness of Chevalier’s voice.
She shook her head reprimanding herself for having let Clavis wander away from her after all he had done for her.
“He is in the gazebo.”
She sighed in relief, at least he hadn’t put himself in a more dire mess.
“Alright thank you for telling me Prince Chevalier.”
Luckily the gazebo wasn’t far, a smile rose to her lips as she noticed a figure slumped on the table staring at the glass in his hands.
She knew he was not alright after gulping down all the glasses of champagne that the baron continued offering her, Clavis hastily snatched from her fingers before she could drink them.
After having saved her from what could have been a diplomatic issue he had excused himself for a meeting he had to attend.
A lie on his lips she let him go, thinking him to be sober enough, realizing she was mistaken made her feel guilty behind reason.
Her heart clamoring madly as she walked toward him, gently she placed her hand upon his shoulder, feeling him jump in surprise.
“Clavis.”
Her voice was sweet and melodious like a fresh cup of water, different from the warm insipid one he had sipped until now.
Clavis did his best to swallow his humiliation taking another sip from his goblet.
The smile was ever present on his face as he turned to look at her, his features hiding the dizziness he was feeling but she knew better than to be fooled by that.
His lavender bangs were in disarray exactly as his necktie slightly loosed as to leave him more space to breathe, his cheeks flushed framing a smile more feeble than his usual one.
“Good evening my darling, have you had fun ?”
“Not so much I was more concerned about the whereabouts of a certain gentleman to enjoy myself.”
A troubled unreadable expression fell over his features.
He raked his fingers though his bangs pulling them away from his eyes, blinking rapidly as a dissatisfied frown curled his lips, an act to regain whatever composure he had left before looking back at her.
“You didn’t need to, really. As you see I am fine.”
A lofty word judging by the general air of tiredness and shame he was hiding beneath a half convincing smile.
“I see … Well, I need to talk to you about something. Would you mind coming with me ?”
“Not at all I always have time for you.”
Clavis could have been many things, messy, trickster, but he was and always would have been a gentleman, that night was no exception.
His words despite her best attempt made her heart beat faster, something she ignored by hooking her arm with his focusing on helping him walk without falling over himself.
“ I will lead the way.”
“As you wish my lady.”
His voice husky and low, murmur a few inches from her ear made her skin tingle, he was so close yet so far, making her wish for things.
Things she couldn’t wish for by the contract she had signed as Belle, things like love were forbidden to happen between people of different classes and yet she couldn’t ignore the yearning she had to love him, to show that despite everything he thought of himself he was and always would have been the best prince for her.
A soft sigh escaped her lips, she was doing her best to ignore with all her might the warmth of his body so close to hers as they casually strolled through the empty hallways directed to her room.
Once inside she sighed in relief leading him to sit on the sofa, adjusting the pillows next to him so as to not make him fall on either of his sides.
“Now be a good boy and wait here.”
Unable to form a coherent though he nodded absently.
Clavis knew he was but a useless nuisance for everyone, he had accepted that and yet the idea of having shown her of all people the depth of his weakness disgusted him.
His fingers ran to his lips to suppress a sigh of distress, a sob swallowed by biting his gloved fingers as shame overcame him.
She, of all people, had to see what a stupid fool he was, playing hero but being defeated by a pair of wine glasses he was laughable.
She, the one person he wanted to show his best side to, she whose opinion mattered the most in the world to him.
His heart beat fast against his rib cage caught in a whirlpool of shame and regret, affection and love were things out of his reach he had learned that, accepted that.
Yet when she came to the palace all those things were thrown upside down, she brought hope and wish into his life, making him yearn for something that should have not been, not by the contract that forbidden them but by the unworthy man he was to claim her affection.
The cape hanging on her shoulder was beginning to get in the way of her effectively doing anything useful to make his drunkenness fade away.
With firm hands she unclasped his cape shooting a glance at Clavis staring intensely at her, his flushed cheeks making him look, despite the awkward situation, really adorable.
“What a naughty girl you are, stripping for me. I never thought you were such an exhibitionist under your innocent appearance.”
A smile on her lips she slid behind a decorated beige separé, mostly to hide her flushed cheeks.
She did her best to calm her racing heart as her fingers busied around to unbutton her dress … though she had greatly underestimated how tightly clasped it was.
Embarrassment overcame her, she bit her bottom lip unsure of what to do.
Swallow her pride and ask him to help her, or ask for a maid and make her aware there was a prince in his room.
The first option was the best one she was sure of.
A shiver ran down her spine at the second option, not only it would have brought shame to her but also to the involved prince.
She peered her head from the side of the to ask him.
Though her room was so dark she feared for a moment he would escape … but when her eyes finally adjusted to the dim light of the moon shing through the window she noticed he was still there.
Clavis was facing the window feigning to gaze at the garden to give her enough privacy, it amazed her how he managed to be a complete gentleman and an unbearable trickster together.
He was a contradiction, one she yearned to know more of.
His gesture spoke volumes to her.
It was strange but this simple thought warmed her heart so much she hated to bring him in an uncomfortable situation … but she had to.
“Clavis.”
“Do not beg, I will not agree to sleep with you.” His voice was slurred and a little shaky.
She could not help but giggle at how flustered he sounded.
“I … am so sorry to bother but … can you help me …”
Her voice hesitant as she trailed off in a whisper
“… undress ?”
She bit her bottom lip, heat rushing in her cheeks at the intimacy of her own request.
“It is difficult to untie my gown on my own.”
After a while not hearing his answer she continued overcome with guilt at her own lack of thoughtfulness.
“Please forget I have ever asked.”
With a sigh she turned her back to him, sliding behind the folding screen once more … when suddenly she felt his footsteps approaching her, in time with the roaring beating of her heart.
She turned around to greet him … not expecting that.
The sight alone makes her heart skip a beat.
Clavis had blindfolded his eyes with his necktie and was right now stumbling his way toward the separè, leaving only his hands to help him around the dark room, this image was enough to fill her heart with warmth.
It was impossible not to fall in love with him.
But she shouldn’t .
They shouldn’t.
He was a prince and she a mere commoner
The court would have never approved.
Moreover she doubted she could have been of any use to him … swallowing that bitter thoughts she rushed to help him.
Gently she took his hand in hers guiding him behind the screen placing them on her hips, while she turned her back to him.
“Please.”
She did not know what was she begging for anymore-
Maybe to be touched like she was his lover.
Maybe to be made love with by the man she loved all through the night.
to be loved beyond imagination.
An impossible dream that kept her up at night.
She shook her head trying to brush away such impure thoughts, feelings his fingers’ feather light touch on her skin
“Clavis.”
Her voice soft and needy, eliciting him to give in his temptation, to nuzzle in her neck so tender and exposed ready for him to kiss.
Almost as he was reading her mind he murmured softly in her ear
“Am I doing good ?”
“Yes … really good.”
She sighed in relief feeling air fill her lungs too much time constrained in that beautiful yet tight laced gown.
Not a word was spoken but as soon as his fingers brushed over her chemise and made sure every lace of the gown and the corset was untied he slid back to his place on the sofa.
She already missed his warm fingers touching her, but she could not get distracted.
Swiftly she took off her elaborated dress sliding it on a hanger before wearing her soft nightgown fighting against the urge to confess her feelings to him.
Noiselessly she approached him now slumped on the settee, his reddened cheeks and troubled smile told her he was at his limit and that it was becoming hard on him keeping his composure.
his smile dangerously close to slipping off, hanging on the thread of self control restrained … all because he had to save her.
What an useless lady she was if she needed his help to get away from tricky social faux pas.
Guilt washed over her heart making her fingers tremble as they ran to undo his jacket, shyly she gazed up at him only to be shown once more how attractive he was.
His amber eyes gleamed in the darkness while his smile was nowhere to be seen as she undid its jackets’ buttons.
“What a naughty girl you are … undressing a gentleman so shamelessly.”
Clavis' voice pulled her away from her reveries, mindlessly she continued her job only to swiftly throw away his jacket on a nearby chair.
“Naughty girl taking advantage of me … lucky for you I am a gentleman.”
A soft chuckle fell from her lips, it was cute how he slurred almost the same thing eh said before … he must be really drunk … all because of her.
That thought made regret swirl in her eyes, with steady hands she took the pitcher from her desk pouring it in a decorated glass she promptly handed him.
Clavis gulped down the water along with the humiliation he felt to have shown her this pathetic weak side of him he swore to keep for himself.
No more than a pathetic fool, a loser that what he always was and that night only proved him right.
A dry chuckle escaped his lips. A man who could not even hold a glass of liquor could have been hardly called a man at all.
What kind of strength could he have shown her ?
What talents could he have acquired to make her love him ?
A heavy sigh escaped his lips feeling as his head spun like a whirlwind.
A troubled expression fell on his features as she sank to her knees, busing herself to undo the buttons of his boots.
Regret and shame billowing in his heart, anger at his weakness made him hate even more as his gaze fixed on her.
She was the sun of his life.
Ever there.
Ever talented.
Loved by anyone … unlike him.
Strong.
Proud.
Someone who could speak back to Chevalier, the only one who did not fear him.
A girl that could have easily made his icy brother fall in love.
Then why such a precious, skillful girl should have liked to end up with a nothingness like him ?
Clavis swallowed his unshod tears as he forced his voice to come out from his constricted throat, hoping it wouldn’t have come out cracked by emotions .. but in vain.
“Please … do not lower yourself to me … I can do it.”
“Please …”.
Her eyes of that gorgeous color never failed to enrapture him in love every time she locked at him, like in that moment.
“Let me do it for you.”
Gently she put them away taking off his gloves, wrapping his hands in her own as she rose to her feet.
“Come to bed.”
Clavis used all the courage he had to maintain his joker facade, not letting her see how much her gentle care moved him to the core.
“Inviting me to your bed ? Uhm so soon in our relationship what a feisty little bunny you are.”
“Please.”
“Ahahah dearie me I could not resist you when you are so sweet to me.”
Gently she caressed his hands, they were so warm under her touch, little scraps on its palms created a map she read effortlessly.
A map delineating a landscape full of things.
Of failures.
Of doing his best.
Of hard work.
Of sleepless nights spent working.
Always clinging to the hope to be the best.
Like he already was for her.
A confession too bold to be spoken in daylight and too intimate to be whispered in the darkness, destined to remain hidden like her feelings for him.
Clavis rose to his feet, but unsteady as he was she was forced to try to stop his improvised walk, hooking her arms around his forearms as she guided him to her bed but at the last moment he tripped making her tumble over in the bed with him.
With a sigh she rolled over to her side, pulling the blankets away from under his feet and draping them over both.
It was forbidden to share a bed with a prince.
Folly.
She knew as much … but she also knew she couldn’t leave him as he was.
Clavis got drunk because of her. That was the last she could do to take responsibility for having made that mess out of him.
“You should sleep.”
Her voice achingly sweet as she murmured to him caressing his bangs away from his forehead.
“No.”
Clavis knew he was being childish but he did not care, a pout curling his lips as he refused to obey.
“You need to.”
“No … when I am asleep you are not with me.”
A needy confession he fought and lost to keep to himself slipped from his lips, bringing shame to crept up on his cheeks making them flush.
Vulnerability.
A feeling Clavis was familiar with and yet he did not want her to see him like that.
Even though his heart seemed to have other ideas, for another secret of his slipped past the gate of his lips.
“When someone told me I was useless or worthless it hurt but it could never hurt more than it did everyday being me.”
His amber eyes pleading vulnerable as he looked at her before trailing his gaze away feeling shame already crept up in his heart, unshod tears flooding in his eyes he fretted over dry with the back of his hand.
Clavis expected anything from her.
To be laughed at.
To be made fun of.
To be pitied.
To be the subject of her disgust.
Anything but that.
She wrapped her arms around him, holding him tenderly she brushed her thumbs on his cheeks, his eyes were misty as a faint flush covered his cheeks due to the alcohol running down in his veins.
Anger bubbled in her veins, she was mad at herself for letting him save her gulping down the glasses of champagne that the noble had planned for her in a futile attempt to coax her to spill useful information she had to acquire as an official apprentice of the prime minister.
With achingly tenderness she took his face in her hands looking at him with such lovely expression enough to make him dizzy with love for her even more, her lips leaving a tender kiss on his forehead melting his heart whole.
It was such an intimate gesture but she didn’t mind, her heart raced in her chest.
Gently she cradled his head on her breast her fingers sliding in his soft locks soothing him, holding him close to her heart only place he felt to belong to, with the only woman who has ever accepted and loved him completely despite his flaws
Clavis never acknowledged the inherent attractiveness of breasts until he felt how hers felt under his head, her softness welcoming his aching cheeks, her warmth radiating from her even through the velvety fabric of her nightgown melting his heart.
A blissful smile curled his lips feeling her hand crawl on his back pressing him closer to her almost as she wanted to keep him whole in her arms.
Her legs shifted to brush over his a pang of warmth spread in him at the sudden movement while her fingers threaded between his lock tenderly caressing his head showering him in love, his arms tighten around her desiring to hold her even in his sleep
feeling her lips leave feather like unhurried kisses on his hair as her hands travelled down to hold him steady on his back, her legs entangled with him.
“I just want to be good enough to be loved above anyone else.”
Clavis' voice was groggy as he confessed her a secret until now he managed to conceal deep in his core, afraid of being met with rejection or disgust.
Instead she tightened her hold on him, squeezing him on her breasts before taking his face in her hands lowering to his level murmuring a few inches from his lips.
“You are more than enough for me.”
The honest candid innocence in those words moved him to tears, he tried to threaten but in vain, a few lonely drops rolled down his cheeks promptly brushed off by the soft pad of her thumb.
“Dearie me, what a weakling I am.”
His voice groggy as he spoke ashamed of his own vulnerability, he tried to hide on her neck.
“You have never looked more beautiful to me.”
Her words took him aback, his eyes now became two pools of gold as he pulled away to stare at her like she was a goddess walking on earth showering him in the bliss of her love.
She caressed his cheeks before leaving an hesitant soft kiss on his forehead, melting his heart like nothing ever did, an honest smile curled his lips as he let her guide him to lay on the bad … alongside her.
A blanket she kept rolled at the feet of the bed was, with a bit of work, spread on the covers adjusting his side before doing the same with her own.
“Sleep tight, I will be there when you wake up.”
She brushed his hair in place caressing his cheeks, the temptation of her hand laying on the pillow between them kept him awake.
Until Clavis decided to cradle his hand in her palm entwining their fingers together.
She locked her eyes with his, a smile on her lips as she squeezed his hand.
“Good night my leopard.”
“Good night my rabbit.”
Clavis closed his eyes, smiling at the feeling of her lips on his forehead.
“My sweet prince.”
His voice drowsy as he slurred.
“My bunny.”
Her heart melted with tenderness as she smiled at him, carefully adjusting the blanket over his shoulder before doing the same to her side.
His hand squeezed lightly hers as she unconsciously was retreating it closer to her, she squeezed his in return before successfully settling under the cover now reaching above her shoulder ready to drift off to sleep in their own dreamland.
Later that night she awoke with a startle, his hands squeezing tightly her own, his face distorted in a grimace as labored breaths come out from his lips
In a rush she hugged him, one arm wrapped around his head, caressing his lavender curls as his arm tightened around her back.
She leaned closer to him, their head touching, her fingers gentle as she brushed away some locks away from his damp cheeks.
“You are safe here. I will protect you … My love.”
Words she was not brave enough to say when he was awake slip past her tongue, desire like a thorny rose enveloping around her heart.
She kissed his forehead, once more as feelings swirled in her heart.
Oh Clavis
Why couldn't we be together ?
Why did you have to be a prince ?
Why … I can be of no use to you ?
Why … you can’t love me back ?
Countless questions kept her awake until the even breath of his didn’t lull her to sleep once more, holding his hand tight like an anchor amidst the stormy sea of doubts of love storming in her heart and thundering in her mind.
Clavis awoke during the night, with the sensation of someone speaking.
His name fell from her lips like a prayer, a light amidst the storm pleading him to save her.
Her breath came out ragged as she nuzzled closer to him, hiding her face in his chest.
Clavis hugged her tightly, one arm wrapped around her hips, sighing as he felt her arms wrapping around his back, her hand squeezing his own.
Clavis leaned his forehead to hers letting his heart speak for him.
“Do not be afraid my bunny, I will protect you … my love.”
He kissed her forehead -My love
Words he never dared to pronounce slipped past his tongue.
What was he thinking
They couldn’t be together … or could they.
Why wasn't she a noble ?
Why am I not a commoner ?
Why am I not enough for you ?
Why don't you love me ?
Countless questions kept him awake until her steady breath lull him back to sleep once more, holding her hand like a sailor chasing a lighthouse during a storm, not minding the waves of the sea if it meant get closer to his light.
The sunrise began to stream from the window bathing everything in its warm light, including two lovebirds nestled in the cocoon of covers and blankets.
Clavis' eyes cracked open at the sound of the castle bell, the rustle and bustle of servants keeping him awake as he admired her form, still clanged to his arms, his eyes crinkled with tenderness as they felt their fingers entwined.
After a while her eyes cracked open, a dissatisfied frown on her lips made her hide her face under the cover until he stretched his fingers to brush on her cheeks.
Surprise swam in her gaze as with a jolt she rose her face to look up at him.
Her gorgeous eyes looked straight at him, while her cheeks blushed fiercely under the attractive gaze of his gorgeous prince.
Clavis felt seen for the first time with no mask hiding his core.
He felt vulnerable.
He should have been afraid but he felt anything but.
That placid expression on her features told him she saw the real him … and loved him all the same.
His fingers squeezed her own gently, their hands laid on the pillow while they gazed at one another with a smile.