Chapter Text
9 months before the renewal deadline
Ateez members are in a seldom used small conference room in KQ headquarters. One located in a less busy part of the building with little to no foot traffic to discuss the upcoming contract renewal. Hongjoong opens the floor to discussion to see what the members needs and wants are regarding the renewal. The discussion during the next hour is chaotic, with many voices talking over each other, and some little arguments between members occasionally popping up. However, the general consensus is to renew but that there are things the members need to actually sign. Hongjoong is secretly happy thinking this would have been a lot harder processer than what it is presently occurring but then realizes Yeosang hasn’t spoken this whole time. It reminds him of their early Vlives after the team’s debut. Where he had to single out Yeosang near the end of the live because he had not spoken the whole time. He isn’t too concerned with how quiet he is. That is Yeosang, he goes with the flow and doesn’t rock the boat, but out of habit Hongjoong says “Guys we haven’t heard Yeosang say anything. Yeosang what do you think about the contract renewal?”
Yeosang slowly blinks his eyes and opens his mouth to speak, thankful that Hongjoog has given him the space to talk. However, before one syllable, much less one word, can leave his mouth he is rudely interrupted by San and Wooyoung. San states in a very dismissive tone, “He probably doesn’t even know what we are talking about. He never listens.” Wooyoung in a nonchalant tone follows-up with, “Yeosang is just going to follow what the group does anyway.” At this point the tight feeling in Yeosang’s chest, that he has been feeling for over a year, now feels like a vice grip with how once again he was dismissed before he could be heard. Yunho and Mingi make sounds of agreement to what San and Wooyoung stated and Jongho decides now is a good time to bring up an earlier point he made, since there was a lull in conversation. Then the members are back in a heavy discussion and Yeosang is completely forgotten again.
Ten minutes have gone by and the tight feeling in Yeosang’s chest has become unbearable and it finally cracks. He feels like he is drowning and decides he can no longer live like this. If he was on the fence before and was willing to talk about it in the hopes things could change for the better, he would have signed the renewal agreement. But he is resigned that things are never going to change, he is tired of fighting in his own way to be heard when the 7 other members are more aggressive and louder than he is. He thought his trainee days were behind him, where he had to defend himself constantly just to survive the process. Now he is tired of trying to fight for the little scraps he does get with his group. He is just exhausted and can’t take it anymore. He is mentally and physically tired of fighting these last 10 years with no improvements. He is unclear what his future will be but right now he decides what his next step will be.
Yeosang slowly stands up, and doesn’t say anything till the other members fall silent one by one and turn their full attention to him. In his distinctive deep tone and no emotion conveying his inner torment says, “I don’t want to renew. I no longer want to be part of Ateez. I will continue my obligations under this current contract, but I no longer need to participate in this contract renewal discussions as it no longer pertains to me.” And with that Yeosang grabs his belongings and leaves the conference room.
As he calls a car to pick him up, a sense of peace comes over him, the pain in the chest that has been a constant companion for longer than even he wants to admit starts to ease up. The drowning feeling from in the room is gone. He hadn’t planned on making that decision, it was instinctive. He decides he needs to go back to the apartment to pack a suitcase and go on a trip so he can figure out what he wants to do next. He can’t do that in the apartment he shares with the Yunho and easy access to the other members, especially with the bomb he just dropped. He sends a message in the group text that he is going out of town and will return when their scheduled time off is over in time for their next scheduled event.
Back in the conference room, it is so quiet you could hear a pin drop. The members’ faces range from denial, shock, disbelief and dawning horror. Everyone is too stunned to speak. What the hell just happened. It isn’t until some of the members phones go off, the ones who always has the group chat notification on, that movement starts to happen in the room. Seongwha reads the message from Yeosang out loud with a tone of incredulity.
Wooyoung, the member that had the horror on his face, had been racking his brain wondering how did he miss this. How could he not have seen it coming? How could his friend of 10 years have not said anything to him? Then a memory resurfaces of Yeosang coming to him months ago. Saying Wooyoungie we haven’t hung out in a bit. Let’s go and catch up. However, Wooyoung had been in one of his moods and said, “I don’t feel like being bored right now with you can we invite San or another member to come along.” Wooyoung was taking advantage of the fact that he could always lashout at Yeosang when he was in a bad mood. He knew he wouldn’t fight back or take it seriously. However, this time Yeosang was in a sensitive and bad place so Wooyoung’s words hurt him especially when he was going to open up about his feelings. Despite his hurt feelings Yeosang’s innate nature to be considerate of everyone above himself replied, “Sure. No problem.” Wooyoung realized Yeosang never asked to do anything or speak to him alone again since then. He is disappointed that he didn’t even notice. That he had selfishly spent the last year thinking about himself and never checking in on his supposed best friend.
Wooyoung, quietly says to the group “This is my fault. I didn’t realize…” but San interrupted gripped his hand on the nape of Wooyoung’s neck and said “Ahh Wooyoungie it’s not your fault, no one realized.” However, Wooyoung is internally spiraling. Thinking he just lost one of his closest friends. The person he survived the abuse of the previous training company with and made their dreams come true only to abandon him in his time of need reacted violently. Wooyoung shoved San’s hand off him and said “Don’t touch me. You don’t know what you are talking about.”
San not taking the situation as seriously as the others due to denial and not realizing the state Wooyoung is in defaults to his recent behavior of always trying to be the certain of attention whenever they are in front of a camera or in KQ headquarters. He starts talking in pout and says “Don’t be mean to me. I didn’t do anything. Yeosang is just being dramatic for attention.” Which was the worst thing that anyone could have said to Wooyoung at that moment. As Yeosang doesn’t do dramatic. That is everyone else in Ateez, even Jongho and Yunho at times have their moments. But Yeosang, dramatic is not in his DNA.
Wooyoung, angrier at himself then San at the moment decides to unleash on San the complaint he has had for a while and says in a sneer, “That is funny coming from you. The member that constantly has to be the center of attention whenever there is a camera around. Always stealing the spotlight from everyone else. Even when you know that you get preferential treatment on some of these networks. That any little thing you do is going to get highlighted and leave everyone with scraps or bad edits. But that isn’t enough for you, you still have to be extra and demand even more attention. And we are supposed to be a team but you only care about yourself. And you have the nerve to say Yeosang is being dramatic and doing it for attention. Just look at yourself.”
Wooyoung was going to continue but Seongwha quietly interrupted him in a soothing tone, “Wooyoung that is enough.” San looks around at the other members thinking someone would defend him, but the looks on all their faces say they agree with Wooyoung, even if they don’t agree with how he delivered the message. San looks devastated that this how his members view him and is about to start spiraling as well.
Hongjoong seeing how this meeting has gotten out of control in more ways than one and is leading to devastating consequences for multiple members decides to get control, “Guys a lot has been said and I think we need to take some time to process what just happened before we talk about this some more later. Please give Yeosang some space. Don’t bombard him with questions about what he said. I’m not saying ignore him. If you want to reach out to check on him, please do so. However, do not try to get him to talk about what he said if he doesn’t bring it up. We as a team, and me as a leader, have clearly dropped the ball when it comes to him. But let’s not make our mistake continue to be his burden. Everyone please enjoy your time off and get plenty of rest. Please try not to stress too much as the contract renewal deadline is 9 months away. Things will work out in the way it needs to. You all are free to go. Wooyoung please stay for a minute.” He is hoping his positive spin and not the internal doom and gloom he is feeling will help the members deal with Yeosang's news. Then Hongjoong makes eye contact with Seongwha and then glances over to San who looks like his whole world has been destroyed and back to Seongwha, who nods his head in understanding that he needs to talk to San.
As the other members start gathering their items to leave Seongwha says, “San. Let’s go get lunch or coffee.” San still hurt and in a petulant mood says, “I’m not in the mood to be the center of attention that everyone thinks I want to be and don’t want to go.” Seongwha has had enough of his childish behavior and the willful ignorance coldly states, “I’m not asking you as a casual member of this team, I’m not asking you as your friend. I’m asking you as your eldest hyung who deserves your respect to join me.” The quiet hum in the room of the other members stops. Seongwha never pulls the hyung card. Never. That means you have truly messed up. And the cracks that started to appear with Yeosang’s announcement, and spiraled with Wooyoung’s reaction to San, has now turned into a fracture with Seongwha’s unlimited patience have come to an end.