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Our story begins in the Higgenbottom kitchen, with Ben and Happy staring each other down. After nodding, the boy and dog head for the refrigerator.
Happy proceeds to open the door for Ben.
"Thanks, Happy! How chivalrous of you," says an appreciative Ben.
While Happy keeps the fridge open, Ben grabs two separate six packs of cola, but struggles to carry them.
"A little help, Happy?"
Ben looks around and sees Happy is no longer in the kitchen, even leaving the fridge open.
"Not again!" whines Ben, as he weakly uses his foot to close the door.
Happy is sitting down on the ground, where he waits in Ben's bedroom. He looks at his watch, when the door suddenly opens.
He proceeds to bark at Ben, who is slowly but surely walking in the hallway.
"I'm coming, Happy! Benjamin Higgenbottom is a lot of things, but a scaredy cat isn't one of them!"
Suddenly, a spider dangles from the ceiling, appearing right in front of Ben's face. Ben screams all the while.
In comes Ben, breathing heavily with the soda still firmly in his hands, on top of having a piggy bank on his head. Ben temporarily loses his balance.
"Whoa!" shouts Ben.
Just as one six pack is about to fall, Happy manages to catch it with his paws, causing the dog to sigh in relief.
"Oh, now you help me," snarks Ben.
Ben sits down and sets the other six pack on the ground, holding his piggy bank all the while.
"Okay, dog. Here's my year's worth of allowance. Every state quarter in mint condition, I even have Alaska and Hawai'i! Now, cough up yours."
Out of hammerspace, Happy pulls out a dozen types of bacon, all labeled with a different country.
"Ah, Bacons of the World. Mr. Pants can't wait to try Irish bacon! He's been on a soda bread kick lately!" claims Ben.
Happy simply rolls his eyes.
"You know the rules. No straws, no can openers, no shaking, and don't even think about drinking through your nose!"
Happy shrugs, claiming he doesn't know what Ben is talking about. He burps through his nose seconds later, with air bubbles coming out of the holes.
"Whoever finishes their six pack first wins. Ready, set, go!" declares Ben.
The soda contest begins. Happy aims the first can above his mouth, guzzling it down with ease. Meanwhile, Ben is having trouble opening the soda tab on his own can of cola.
Frustrated, Ben asks "Why do these things have to be so fickle?"
While Ben struggles, Happy puts another can directly in his mouth as he sucks on it like a baby bottle. After drinking another, Happy swishes the cola around, in a manner similar to mouthwash. The contest ends when Happy manages to drink his last can, as remnants of the liquid drip on his tongue.
Ben is astonished, as he failed to even open one can of his six pack. Happy makes a beckoning hand gesture.
"No, this doesn't count! We need a ref! I didn't even get the chance to open mine!"
Happy snatches Ben's six pack, opening all of the tabs and chugging every can simultaneously.
"Do ya always have to be such a showoff?" asks an annoyed Ben.
In response, Happy belches loudly in Ben's face, smiling afterward.
"Ugh, now I'm gonna smell like dog breath!" whines Ben, as he reluctantly gives Happy the piggy bank.
Happy smashes it, freeing his new quarters.
"Aw, fudge rockets! I knew I should have done speed reading instead! That dog could never read a whole Towel Man comic in 3 minutes!"
Happy rubs the win in Ben's face by throwing his newfound quarters in the air, before blowing a raspberry at the boy.
Bessie enters the room, just as Ben is about to leave.
"Oh, there you are, Happy!" She then takes a whiff of Ben. "Ooh, Ben. You might want to try a new shampoo."
With Ben gone, Bessie approaches Happy.
"I've been looking all over for you! Okay, maybe only within a ten mile radius, but I couldn't find you eating steaks in the kitchen, or playing blackjack at the cafe when you're covering for Mom, or the..."
At this point, Happy begins to tune out Bessie. The scene suddenly changes to show a pinball machine shaped like Happy's body, only instead of targets the machine consists of body parts and the actual pinball is a soda can.
Functioning as pop bumpers, the soda can hits Happy's kidneys back and forth repeatedly, before the can goes downward by reaching his bladder (taking the gobble hole's place). The can shakes before spritzing out cola, quickly filling Happy's previously empty bladder.
Now back inside the bedroom, Happy feels a sense of urgency, realizing he has to pee.
"...And when I couldn't find you at the city dump, I knew you had to be in Ben's room!"
After Bessie's drawn out explanation, she notices all the soda cans on the ground.
"Awesome! You're hydrated! I would have recommended some water, but that caffeine'll go right through you!" states an exuberant Bessie.
Happy sheepishly nods, before rushing towards the bathroom. However, Bessie blocks him from entering.
"Don't even think about it, mister! We're gonna need that bladder of steel for your checkup!"
"Huh?" asks Happy.
Bessie grabs Happy by the arm, as they leave the house. The next scene shows the duo walking throughout San Francisco.
"Happy, for the last time: we can't just reschedule your appointment on the fly," says Bessie.
Happy argues with her.
"Don't be silly, Happy. Nobody's bladder has ever exploded. Look on the bright side. If you become the first, you'll make history!"
A disgruntled Happy replies to Bessie.
"I'm sure the doctor has dealt with plenty of bladder emergencies in his time."
The blue dog scoffs at Bessie's optimism, and proceeds to complain.
"He is not a quack! He just uses unconventional methods to treat his patients. You can't argue with success!" states Bessie.
Happy says something in response.
"Preventive medicine is not pointless! He just wants to make sure there's nothing wrong with your bladder!" insists Bessie. "You don't want to have a squirrel stuck in there, do you?"
Happy growls at Bessie's suggestion.
"Look, boy, I know it's hard. Bathroom breaks are a way of life! But you're just gonna have to hold it in. Close up shop. Leave nature on hold."
Bessie then grabs Happy, where she quite literally meets him eye to eye. "Be your own toilet, Haps! Be the toilet!"
Bessie and Happy continue their trek, passing by a television set playing at a storefront. A special news report starts, prompting Bessie to walk backwards with a reluctant Happy in tow.
On TV is news reporter Chai Gallagher, sitting behind her desk.
"Breaking news! A local truck driver has just crashed into San Francisco's newly built dam, causing catastrophic damage to the structure. Dam-aged, if you will," claims Chai.
"I told those hardhats this was gonna happen! But did they want to listen to me, no!" remembers Bessie. "They think they know everything. Have they ever built a hive from scratch? I think not!"
Chai continues the report. "Water leaks uncontrollably, with no end in sight. Cracks are forming as the immense pressure is breaking down the dam from the inside out. A stream of water just squirting endlessly and incessantly."
Happy pulls on his ears, not wanting to hear the report.
"If that wasn't enough, the truck driver in question was delivering peanuts and pecans, yes, those nutty snacks that we hold so dear to our hearts. You could say there's water, water everywhere, and not a peanut to eat. Water, water everywhere, nor any pecan that's sweet."
"Um, actually, peanuts are legumes," claims Bessie. "I know they look like nuts and have it in their name, but they really grow from the ground. See, true nuts hang from trees. Those are called tree nuts. Pretty nutty, huh?"
Happy grits his teeth and moans, bothered by both Chai Gallagher's news report and Bessie talking to the TV.
"I should call the news station and submit a correction. What do you think, Happy?" asks Bessie.
Happy responds by reaching for the TV, grabbing it, and smashing the television set on the ground.
"You're right, Haps. This kind of yellow journalism has no place on the news. Everyone knows a peanut is not a nut!"
Later, Bessie and Happy notice a wooden lemonade stand, replete with lemons, cups and a jar filled with money. A familiar face is operating the stand.
"Hi, Bessie!" says an enthusiastic Penny.
"Atta girl, Pen. There's nothing like a cold cup of lemonade to bring out a Honeybee's entrepreneurial spirit!"
"I was gonna sell grape juice, but the strangest thing happened: none of the grapes fell out!" claims Penny.
"What do you mean?" wonders Bessie.
"Think about it, Bessie. I opened up tons of grapefruit, but it didn't matter how many! There were no grapes, or even purple!"
As Penny explains herself, Happy's urgency worsens. He begins to hop up and down on one leg, all the while Penny talks in the background.
"All that came out was just pink stuff! I can't believe the store lied to me!"
"Uh, Pen?" says a hesitant Bessie.
"So, my Dad decided it'd be better if I sold lemonade instead! I've made a 100 dollars so far, wait until he hears I'm a millionaire now!" beams Penny, letting out a giggle,
"Well, if there's one thing every Honeybee knows, it's that sisterhood is the most important thing! How much for a cup? Five cents, ten, fifty?" inquires Bessie.
Happy uses his claws to scratch the lemonade stand, leaving visible imprints.
Bessie scolds him. "Oh, Happy, behave yourself. Can't you see I'm trying to secure a business transaction here?"
"Five," answers Penny.
"Great! Let me just get my old friend Roosevelt out of my pocket."
Bessie places one dime on Penny's stand. The latter closely examines the coin.
"Hey! This isn't the guy with the big ears!" exclaims Penny, who bites the coin before spitting it out. "Whoever this is, he's too crunchy!"
"Wait, five dollars for one cup?" asks a shocked Bessie.
"Yep! Things sure are getting more expensive these days."
"You're one heck of a saleswoman, Pen. But I don't have that much on me," admits Bessie.
Penny begins to panic. "Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!"
"Guess I'll just have to eat this entire box of taffy by myself," says a coy Bessie, unveiling the box to Penny.
"Did you say taffy?" asks Penny.
"That's right. Stretchy, tasty, sticky goodness. Makes your taste buds dance and teeth melt, but hey, that's what fillings are for!"
"You got yourself a deal! Taffy tastes better than those guys, anyway," opines Penny.
However, Happy suddenly grabs Bessie by her collar, yelling at her.
"Happy, I know it's your treat for getting through with the appointment, but this is a taffy emergency!" insists Bessie.
An irritated Happy replies to Bessie.
"Yes, you're having an emergency of your own, but that's different! Yours can be controlled by willpower, but taffy emergencies are life and death!"
The blue dog continues to argue with her, snatching the taffy from Bessie's hands.
"I know, Happy, I know I promised. But I'll tell you what, another box has your name on it! And it's on the house!"
Happy shakes his head, and tries to haggle with Bessie.
"Two free boxes!" says Bessie.
Happy retorts in his dog speak, "Ten!"
"Haps, the highest I'll go is three. A bee needs to have her Bee Bucks, ya know?"
However, Happy isn't having it.
"Ugh! Fine! Five boxes, free of charge! Do I have the number five painted on my back today, or what?" inquires an annoyed Bessie.
Bessie writes down the amount on a clipboard, giving it to Happy. "Happy now, Happy?"
Bessie's dog answers her with a thumbs up, relinquishing the box of taffy all the while. Bessie proceeds to give it to Penny.
"Here ya go, Penny."
Penny rips open the box like there's no tomorrow, not hesitating to stuff her face full of taffy.
"Mm. It's so good," says Penny.
"Nothing like honey to sweeten your teeth. Speaking of sweet, how's that lemonade situation going?" wonders Bessie.
"Coming right up!"
Penny grabs a cup, proceeding to pour lemonade in it. Happy looks at the liquid intently, with his eyes transforming into the flowing lemonade and cup themselves. He whimpers afterward.
"Does Happy want some too?" asks Penny.
Bessie attempts to pet Happy on the head, who doesn't reciprocate by placing Bessie's hand in front of her face.
"Uh, I think he's all set."
Bessie gets closer to Penny, whispering "Happy has a full tank."
"Oh, wow! Can I take a ride in it?" asks Penny.
"No, Pen. Happy has to, ya know, the P word," clarifies Bessie.
"Hmm. Well, it can't be Pizza Padoodles, that's PP!"
As Happy overhears the girl scouts converse, he moans at them repeatedly saying the letter.
Penny notices Happy looking the other way, trying to avoid his urgency.
"Wait, wait, I know this one! Don't give me any clues! Uh...."
"For bee's sake, Penny, Happy has to pee!" shouts Bessie.
"I've been there. Here's what you gotta do: find a place to tinkle and you're good to go!" states a cheery Penny.
"Happy can't right now. He needs a full bladder for his checkup."
Bessie's dog nods desperately, with a grimace on his face.
"Oh, you meant holding it in! Why didn't you just say so? All you gotta do is think about ponies, Chicken Little, and chocolate pudding. Oh, and taffy. Lots of taffy."
"Thanks for the help, Pen. But Happy and I should really get going."
Bessie and her dog walk away from the lemonade stand, with Penny too distracted to bid them farewell due to eating the rest of her taffy.
Continuing their seemingly endless walk throughout the city, Happy kicks a pebble out of frustration.
"Don't fret, Haps. I've mapped out the whole bay area in my mind, from Alcatraz to the Golden Gate. No streets, nor boulevards, nor alleyways can prevent us from arriving at our destination!"
Meanwhile, Bessie herself is distracted, putting a finger in her mouth. Upon removing it, the wet digit feels the wind in the atmosphere.
"Hmm. Getting mixed signals here. Finger, can you help me out? I know you and Pinkie are on the same wavelength."
Finger frowns, shaking back and forth all the while.
"Don't be like that, Fing!" states Bessie.
Bessie then positions Finger right into her left ear, saying something to the girl scout.
"Oh! So that's the problem! Pinkie, you're gonna get a kick outta this! Fing thought you were Wet Willy. Isn't that crazy?" asks Bessie, laughing all the while.
Finger turns the other way, not budging.
"Come on, Finger! You know Pinkie would never pretend to be your childhood tormentor!" claims Bessie.
Annoyed by Bessie, Happy looks away from her. However, something quickly catches his attention, causing him to howl before running away.
Finger is still arguing with Bessie. Pinkie is so shocked by what he said, that she hides behind Bessie's back.
"Hmm. A war of words such as this requires a mediator. Good thing Happy just became a licensed family therapist! Hey, Haps!"
However, Bessie realizes Happy is nowhere to be seen. "Haps?"
Happy approaches a fire hydrant, smiling widely. He rubs his paws together before lifting his right leg up. However, Bessie yanks him away just before he can go.
"Not so fast, Haps!" states Bessie.
Happy tries to bargain with Bessie.
"Nope. You can't work your magic this time, you used that up on taffy."
Using one of his paws, Happy makes a gesture indicating a small amount.
"Oh, sure. Just a little bit. Everybody says that. But before you know it, a little bit turns into a whole gallon! I am not letting you flood the streets!" says an adamant Bessie.
The blue dog proceeds to berate Bessie.
"Look, mister! You can call me whatever you want, but you are not seeing a man about a dog. Or a dog about a man. Dog about a dog? What do you guys use?"
Finally, the duo arrive at Happy Pet Vet's entrance. Happy grumbles something to his owner.
"You know, Happy, a little positive thinking would do you a world of good."
He dismisses Bessie's remark. However, just as she is about to open the door, Happy gets an idea and grins mischievously.
He opens the door for Bessie, who enters inside. The dog slams it seconds later, attempting to make a run for it. However, Bessie's hand stretches a comically wide length and manages to grab her pet, successfully bringing him inside.
"That might work on Ben, but you can't fool me, Haps! I know all your tricks," explains a smiling Bessie.
In the next scene, Bessie and Happy are sitting on a sofa in the waiting room. Bessie marvels at something just above them.
"Wow, that's the most gorgeous aquarium I've ever seen! All those little fishes just floating around everywhere with their little lips, like it's their own personal ocean! I guess you could say they're doing swimmingly!" quips Bessie.
Happy snaps at Bessie and yells at her.
"Sheesh, Happy! I was just trying to make conversation. If you're not in the mood to talk, try looking at the linoleum on the floor," suggests Bessie.
Too distracted to pay Bessie any mind, Happy has to go so badly his knees face the opposite direction before his legs repetitively have a swaying motion.
"Atta boy, Haps! When life gives you linoleum, dance! You should patent it before somebody steals your idea. After all, we are in a waiting room," says Bessie.
Happy then grabs Bessie by her collar, mouthing "I have to go" to her.
"Oh," realizes Bessie. After a pause, it hits her. "Oh!"
Bessie notices the Nurse coming out of the doorway, as she proceeds to feed the fish. Bessie tugs on Nurse's dress to get her attention.
"Um, excuse me. I hate to pester those in the medical profession, since you guys are life savers and all, but is there any chance we can wrap up the appointment ahead of us?" inquires Bessie.
"You'll just have to wait like everyone else, dear," replies Nurse.
"That's all well and good, but I'm pretty sure my dog will pee on somebody at any second and I'd rather not be held liable for a preventable accident."
Before the Nurse can respond, Doctor/Vet enters the waiting room, reading a sign on the door all the while.
"Huh. So you're supposed to wash your hands before, not after. Those crazy new regulations!"
"Looks like the doctor is in," says a smiling Nurse.
"That's right! It's time for Hoppy's heart transplant!" announces an excited Doctor/Vet.
"Uh, doctor. I thought Happy was supposed to have an ultrasound done on his bladder," states a confused Bessie.
Doctor/Vet realizes his mistake. "Oh, dooky. Well, guess I gotta put this heart on ice. Nurse!"
Answering his call, the Nurse simply kicks the table out of eye view.
As the four enter Doctor/Vet's office, Happy says something derogatory towards Bessie.
"It's okay, I know that's your bladder talking," replies Bessie.
"Not to worry, Bossy! I can get rid of Hoppy's urgency lickety split," says an assured Doctor/Vet.
"Wow, really?"
"Ha ha, no," admits Doctor/Vet. "But it's a nice thought!"
Closing the door, Doctor/Vet speaks to Happy. "Okay, Hoppy. Might as well dip right in, huh?"
Before Happy knows it, he's placed on a gray table. Nearby is an ultrasound machine. However, he moves restlessly from side to side.
"That just won't do. We need you to be as stiff as a board. Nurse!" shouts Doctor/Vet.
The Nurse is chewing something with her mouth, before she blows an ever increasing bubble made of gum. Once it pops, Nurse uses the gum by literally sticking Happy to the table.
Despite Happy's best efforts, he can't get unstuck. This causes him to whimper.
Bessie attempts to comfort him. "Don't worry, Haps! I'm here!"
In response, the dog says something rude to her.
"Well, looks like someone's manners leaves a lot to be desired," quips Bessie.
"What do you mean, Bossy? A doctored such as myself loves a challenge like Hoppy!" states Doctor/Vet.
"Doctor, doctor," states Nurse.
"Oh, right, right. Just a little slip of the tongue! Now, where'd I put that thingamajig?"
"The transducer? It's right here," says Nurse, taking off her hat and giving it to Doctor/Vet.
"Oh goody, you found it! I know I can always count on you to remember things, uh... what's your name again?" asks Doctor/Vet.
Once Happy eyes the transducer, he begins to whine.
"Oh, it's no big deal, little fella. This doohickey here never hurt anybody. All I'm gonna do is press on your bladder. It'll feel like being run over by twelve buses, but once that soreness wears off, it's smooth sailing from there!"
Doctor/Vet then starts a new sentence.
"Okay, Hoppy. Just one more thing, and we can start this whole shebang! Hope you like icing, because you're gonna be as shiny as a glazed doughnut!"
"That's great, Happy! Doughnuts are your favorite!" says an excitable Bessie.
Happy proceeds to argue with his owner.
"Now, you know that's not true. You've always said you wanted to be a doughnut for Halloween," claims Bessie.
"Ahem, Nurse! Drop down the sticky stuff!" shouts Doctor/Vet.
"My favorite part of the job," opines Nurse.
From the ceiling, a vat of viscous liquid propels itself on Happy, covering his fur with it. The end result is a visible sheen on the dog's body.
"Wow! What is that stuff, anyway?" inquires Bessie.
"Who knows? It gets the job done, that's all that matters," opines Doctor/Vet.
With transducer in hand, Doctor/Vet begins the ultrasound.
"Gee, whiz! Hoppy here is just about ready to burst! This might be the fullest bladder I've ever seen! I wonder how much more this baby can hold!" says an amazed Doctor/Vet.
"You think he can hold it in much longer?" asks Bessie.
"Well, there's only one way to find out."
Back to focusing on Happy, Doctor/Vet continues to use the transducer.
"This is your bladder. And this is your bladder when I press really hard on it."
Doctor/Vet then uses his finger. "And this is what happens when I poke at it. Poke. Poke. Poke. I could do this all day!"
The Nurse taps repeatedly on Doctor/Vet's shoulder to get his attention, and points at the ultrasound machine.
"What a beaut she is, huh?" asks Doctor/Vet, still poking at Happy.
"You forgot to turn the machine on," states Nurse.
Doctor/Vet has a delayed reaction, before going "Oh! Well, that explains why there was nothing on the screen."
Happy begins to growl at the veterinarian.
"Grrr! Keep that anger pent up, because you won't be able to breathe in a sec!"
"Huh?" asks Happy.
"Pay attention, Hoppy. When I say, don't breathe, you stop for 15 seconds. And then when I say breathe, you can. Did you catch all of that?"
Happy wearily nods.
"Good, because I can't repeat it back to you if I tried," admits Doctor/Vet.
Doctor/Vet clears his throat, before shouting "Don't breathe!"
Happy tries to get some air through his mouth.
"No mouth breathing, either!"
The dog lets out a sigh.
"Don't breathe!" yells Doctor/Vet.
Getting frustrated, Happy argues with the veterinarian.
"Hmm." Doctor/Vet then snaps his finger.
Doctor/Vet proceeds to grab Happy's nose, twisting it until the nose pops off like a light bulb.
"There we go. Now remember," says Doctor/Vet, before shouting "Don't breathe!" in Happy's face.
With breathing no longer an issue, Doctor/Vet uses the transducer as planned.
"All done. You can breathe now, Hoppy," states Doctor/Vet.
"Uh, doctor. I don't think my dog is breathing," points out Bessie.
"Oh, whoops-a-daisy!"
Doctor/Vet hastily screws Happy's nose back on, albeit the nostrils are now facing the dog's eyes.
"There, good as new!" exclaims Doctor/Vet.
Happy huffs and puffs, reminiscent of a bull.
After the checkup, Happy is now off the table and his nose is back to its proper place, as he and Bessie talk to Doctor/Vet and Nurse.
"So, did you see any kidney stones? Irritable infections? Stray squirrel possibly?" inquires Bessie.
"Not one bit, little lady! Your Hoppy has the bladder of a puppy. Well, a housebroken one. His bladder is better than mine! I'd switch bladders with him if I could!"
Growling, Happy nearly kicks Doctor/Vet in the crotch, but Bessie manages to grab him just before he can do so.
"Thank you, doctor," states an appreciative Bessie.
"It was nothing, Bossy! And hey, if Hoppy's heart ever gives out, you know who to call!"
"So, uh, we're done, right?" inquires Bessie.
"Yepperino!" affirms Doctor/Vet.
"You're free to go!" adds Nurse.
"Does this mean Happy can finally get some much needed relief?"
"Oh! I knew I was forgetting something. Yes, he can pee now," states Doctor/Vet.
"Did ya hear that, boy? Now you can open up the floodgates! Isn't that great, Happy?" asks Bessie.
However, she is surprised to find Happy is nowhere to be seen.
"Uh oh."
His urgency the highest it's ever been, Happy first approaches the men's room, which is locked. Then, he tries getting into the women's bathroom, which is occupied.
Finally, the dog attempts to sneak into the children's washroom, and succeeds! However, this facility is still under construction, to the point there are no toilets.
Exasperated and exhausted, Happy rips both his ears off.
Bessie runs as fast as she can to try and catch up. "Happy, wait! I know just the spot for you to do business in outside! Come back!"
Happy is now back in the waiting room, his ears back on his head. Happy uses his claws to slice the water cooler, hoping to use it as a makeshift toilet. Unfortunately, Happy's razor sharp claws simply destroyed it, with water leaking everywhere on the ground.
The stress from holding it in and desperation to urinate has caused Happy to lose his mind. After letting out a powerful scream, he begins to laugh uncontrollably, continuing to do so until his irises turn into sticks of dynamite.
Bessie arrives soon after, and can hardly bear to watch her beloved dog in this state.
"Watch out, he's gonna blow!" shouts Bessie, who covers her eyes.
Still shielding her vision, Bessie hears a long stream. Happy then lets out a sigh of relief.
Bessie slowly puts her hands back down, and is greeted by Happy. The dog is back to normal, as he smiles and barks with glee.
"Oh, Happy! I'm so glad you took care of business, but did you have to go on the floor? Nobody likes someone who does the pool thing!" claims Bessie.
Happy tries explaining to Bessie, but ultimately decides to let it go.
Now outside, Bessie states "See, boy? That wasn't so bad after all."
The camera focuses on Happy's contented face, before showing the exterior of Happy Pet Vet.
Doctor/Vet is heard saying off screen, "Love that new color scheme in the fish tank! Makes everything pop!"
The episode ends shortly afterwards, fading to black.