Chapter Text
Spongebob and Patrick were sat outside of the former’s house, just on the sand. Spongebob was blowing bubbles, trying to top the previous one each time. He put the pink bubble wand into the green bubble soap bottle, wiggling it around for a second, and pulled it out while giggling quietly to himself. He took a deep breath, his little body expanding with it, and blew out a really tiny breath through the ring. A teeny bubble butterfly flapped out of the wand, fluttering around the two of them. When it popped, it played a simple two note melody for them.
“Again, again!” Patrick’s voice rang out as he clapped.
Spongebob laughed delightedly and shushed the other. “Not too loud, Pat! Squidward said he’s trying to concentrate on his art!” His nose flopped down and he mimicked Squidward’s nasally voice when he said that last line. He laughed, somewhat using Squidward’s inflection, before it slowly morphed back into his own rippling laugh. Patrick joined in, the two of them guffawing together.
“Okay okay, here I go!” Spongebob put the wand back into the soap, then blew another bubble. This time he blew two bubbles, little replicas of himself and Patrick.
“Look, it’s Sandy!” Patrick said, pointing.
“What? No it isn’t!” Spongebob said, squinting at the bubbles thoughtfully. He blew another bubble, a tiny Sandy.
“No, Sandy!” Patrick started waving.
When Spongebob looked up, sure enough, there was the real Sandy. Spongebob also started waving, wriggling his entire body as he did so. “Sandy! Hi Sandy!” he said. “Do you wanna blow bubbles with us?”
“Oh, not right now Spongebob. Actually, I was gonna ask you to come to the tree dome with me right quick. I need your help. Can you?” Sandy asked. As she got closer, and then stopped in front of them, Spongebob noticed that she looked very jittery. Her eye kept twitching over and over. There was a bald spot forming on her left ear. Spongebob immediately decided to help her, simply because she looked so disheveled.
“Oh yeah!” Spongebob stood up, dusting the sand off his pants, and Patrick followed suit.
“No, not you Pat, sorry,” Sandy frowned as she spoke.
Patrick mimicked the expression. “Oh come on, why not? I won’t do anything!”
“Hey buddy!” Spongebob intervened before Patrick could get too upset. “Can I have you stay home and watch Gary for me? He’ll need someone to play with him while I’m gone!”
Patrick thought for a moment, wondering if this was a fair trade. “Yeah, uh huh!” he said eventually, nodding along.
“Okay, okay, now can we go?” Sandy said hurriedly, trying to itch her hands through her air suit.
“Yeah, sure, Sandy! Go inside Patrick, door’s unlocked!”
As Spongebob and Sandy walked to the tree dome, he could tell something was really bothering Sandy. She kept twitching, she wouldn’t look at him, and she kept wringing her hands. Spongebob wasn’t really quite sure what to say. He didn’t know what was wrong, and he assumed that she was going to tell him soon.
When they got to the tree dome, he could see from the outside that it was a mess. There weren't really many spaces he could see into, because there was a bunch of paper tacked all over the glass walls of the dome, but what little he could see into was dark and dirty. Even when they got inside, Sandy didn’t take off her air suit. She just gave Spongebob his water helmet.
Now that he was inside, Spongebob could see that the mess was much worse than he’d thought. There were food wrappers everywhere, along with hundreds of papers like the ones on the walls of the dome on her picnic table and her oak tree. Behind the oak tree there was a roughly built wooden structure there, with a curtain over it. Stress lingered over everything.
“Gosh Sandy, was this what you needed help with? Some spring cleaning?” Spongebob weakly forced out a half-hearted chuckle, sensing a growing tension in the air. Sandy didn’t respond to his joke, didn’t even look at him. He swallowed and frowned.
She headed for the wooden structure in the back, pushing aside the curtain and then closing it when he made in. Inside sat even more papers, blocking most light from the outside. A lone, bright lamp sat on a desk over a glass box. The box looked faintly misted, but relatively empty otherwise. Curious, Spongebob reached out for it to see what was inside.
“DON’T TOUCH THAT!” Spongebob jumped back at the full-force yell that Sandy let out. She laughed halfheartedly. “Sorry there, little square dude. I didn’t mean t’scare you. You just can’t open that box. It’s very dangerous.”
“How can a box be dangerous?” The sponge replied, grinning slightly.
Sandy sighed and closed her eyes. “Spongebob, I’m gonna tell you something. Something really important. And I need you to pay attention, please? No messing around. Don’t touch anything, don’t mess with stuff. This is really important.”
“Of course Sandy! You know I always try to listen-”
“Good.” Sandy interrupted before he could get started.
A moment of silence passed as the squirrel hesitated. She tried to itch her hands through her air suit, then hissed and put them down at her sides. She shook her head, trying to brace herself.
“A few days ago, I was messing with the biology of some viruses. Science stuff. I guess I must’ve touched my face, or my mouth, or something, by accident, and not realized it. I think it infected me with something. I’m really hungry all the time, and nothing fixes it. I’m super itchy too! And I keep twitching!” Sandy put her hands on her air helmet as if she were trying to grasp at her face. “I mean, look at me, Spongebob! Have you ever known my fur to be patchy in all the years you’ve known me!”
Spongebob looked at her face and neck. She really was patchy. But even more than that, her skin was agitated and red. She really looked awful, and it made him hurt just looking at her.
“But worst of all is that I’ve been having some… urges.” She frowned, failing to hold eye contact. “Don’t worry though, I’m not gonna getcha! I wouldn’t ever… I couldn’t do that to you, Bob, you’re my friend…”
“Just tell me what’s wrong, Sandy, it’ll be okay!”
Sandy sucked in a breath, finally turning her eyes back to Spongebob’s. For a moment she just looked at him, searching, but for what she didn’t know. She swallowed. “I’ve been having urges to attack people,” she started slowly, but her voice got faster and faster as she rushed to explain herself. “I won’t, I promise I won’t. You’re totally safe from me, I swear. I wouldn’t ever attack you, Spongebob, please, you’ve gotta believe me-”
“Sandy! Sandy, I believe you!” Spongebob interrupted, catching her hands. She pulled away quickly though, leaning back. “I don’t think you’d hurt me, honest.”
Sandy just looked at him for a while, still looking, still searching in his eyes for any semblance of a lie. She found none. When had Spongebob ever lied to her anyway? She could trust him.
“Why.. are you telling me this, Sandy? I’m no good about science-y stuff like you are, I don’t know enough about it to be able to help you.” Spongebob looked at the papers surrounding them, struggling to read the scratchy words written there.
Sandy opened her mouth, unsure for just a moment. “I guess… If something really goes wrong, if this virus ruins me, if I…” She paused, staring off into the distance with her brows pinched together. “If I hurt someone… I want someone to know what happened to me. I don’t want it to just be put down to a “mammal gone mad”. I don’t wanna be alone anymore, and I trust you.” She smiled at Spongebob, swallowing down her fears, then shook her head. “But anyway, don’t tell anyone. I don’t wanna cause a panic.”
Spongebob looked thoughtful for a moment. “Maybe I could tell Plankton? He knows about some science stuff, he might be able to help!”
“I guess so. But only him, no one else, okay?”
“Okay!”
Spongebob then went home and immediately told Patrick and Squidward about poor Sandy’s predicament. It was just a warning, though! He didn’t want them to get infected, of course not.
Patrick believed him instantly. “Oh yeah Spongebob. I believe you. I won’t go over to her house until she’s better.”
Squidward was another story.
“A zombie virus, REALLY, Spongebob? Come on now, even you can’t believe that.” Squidward looked down his nose at the sponge, who was emoting with hands vigorously.
“Honest, Squid! I’m so serious! You should’ve seen her!” Spongebob replied, but Squidward stomped past before he could stop him.
“I’ll prove it to you! I’m going over to her house, and there’s nothing you can do to stop me.”
“NO!” Spongebob vigorously leapt onto the cephalopod’s back, causing them both to stumble. “You can’t! You might get infected! Sandy said-”
“I don’t care what Sandy said! I know you’re just making things up for some reason, and I’m going to see what-” He paused as the tree dome came into view, a mildly confused look on his face. “Why is it so dingy?”
“I’m telling you, she’s really sick!” Spongebob leaned back, trying to overbalance his friend. Squidward yelped and threw his arms out, trying to catch himself. He caught Spongebob around the middle and peeled him off, setting him down in the sand.
“Zombies aren’t real, Spongebob.” He marched right up to the door and banged on it. “Sandy! You’re not really infected by a zombie virus, right?” The door opened and Squidward huffed as he went inside. Spongebob rushed to follow him before the door closed. They put on their water helmets and pushed the button to drain the water, all with Squidward tapping his foot hurriedly.
When the second door opened, Squidward stepped inside and immediately halted when he laid eyes on the mess inside. He looked vaguely disgusted, but just rolled his eyes and shook his head. “Sandy!”
“Spongebob! What’s Squidward doing here?” Sandy’s voice cracked as the octopus approached her hurriedly. She stepped slightly back at the sudden advance, her eyes widening. Squidward inspected her face, seeing all the things that Spongebob had seen.
“She’s not a zombie, Spongebob, she just has patchy fur because she’s itchy. Read a book or something, sometimes that happens to mammals.”
Sandy blinked, and then turned to Spongebob. “You told him I was a zombie?” she seethed. The sponge put his hands up, trying to explain, but was interrupted.
“He told me you wanted to eat people. Stupid, huh?” Squidward retorted, rolling his eyes and looking at Spongebob with the same annoyance in his eyes that Sandy had.
Sandy looked sideways at the octopus standing next to her. She opened her mouth and narrowed her eyes. “He’s right.”
Squidward rolled his eyes again. “Whatever sort of prank you two are playing on me-”
“It’s not a prank, Squidward! Just listen!” Sandy whisked around to the back, to the construction behind the oak tree, her tail twitching. Spongebob scrambled to follow his friend.
“See this box? Inside is the most dangerous virus I’ve ever encountered. I don’t know what it is, or what to call it, but it did make me into a zombie, I guess. As Spongebob called me.” She half-glanced at the sponge, who smiled sheepishly.
“There’s nothing in it.”
“Yes there is!”
Squidward approached slowly, leaning closer. Sandy narrowed her eyes, but let him look. “It’s definitely not a zombie virus. Spongebob is kidding you. I’ll show you!”
“NO-!”
But Squidward was already lifting the lid on the box. Sandy pushed Spongebob out hurriedly, then turned around to see Squidward putting his tentacle in the box. He wiped his hand over the sides and bottom of it before Sandy ripped his arm away. She closed the lid on the box, then rounded on Squidward. “Why did you do that? To prove a point?”
“Yes, what else? I promise, it’s not a zombie virus. We’ve never had anything like that in Bikini Bottom.” Squidward pushed open the curtain dramatically and headed for the tree dome’s door. “When I don’t get infected, you’ll feel so stupid for trying to trick me!”
“Squidward, no!” Spongebob rushed after him, but Sandy stood in front of him. “No Spongebob, you can’t touch him. You might get infected.” Spongebob tried to get around her, but she was quicker. “I hope he’s right. I hope it doesn’t infect sea critters like it infected me.”
Squidward knew Spongebob was following him home from work. Normally the sponge walked alongside him after closing, chattering and being generally annoying, but today he was at least ten feet back from him. He felt his eye twitch, and he scrubbed at his face to drive the itch away. He could hear the telltale squeaking noise that the other’s shoes made when he walked. He suddenly whipped around and glared at a rock behind him.
“Spongebob! Come out from there! You’ve been watching me all day and not talking to me, which would normally be really nice, but you’re staying just close enough that it’s really irritating! I don’t have a zombie virus!”
A random passing fish gave him a weird look and kept walking, to which he laughed weakly and waved. He saw Spongebob meekly come out from behind the rock, and turned back to him. “Quit following me! If you don’t want to get infected by the zombie virus-” he sang mockingly- “then stay away from me!”
“I have to make sure you don’t attack anyone!” Spongebob replied.
“I’ll attack you if you don’t leave me alone!”
Spongebob yelped and ran into his pineapple, but immediately reappeared in the window, staring down at Squidward. The octopus sighed and shook his head, going into his own house. He was glad to be away from Spongebob. It was getting late, and he was getting hungry.
He opened the fridge and peered inside. There wasn’t much to choose from. Confused, he scratched his nose and closed it again. He stood there for a moment, thinking. Perhaps he could just have some crackers and fruit? It was always one of his easiest comfort foods to have. But he could tell it wouldn’t be enough. He eventually managed to carry an entire armful of food to his couch. Still wasn’t enough, he didn’t think.
He stared down at the food on the coffee table, frowning, for a long while. Anxious, he scratched at his arm. It was too late to go to the Barg’n’mart, it would be closed by now. He scowled and turned away from the food on his table. He could survive one night. To distract himself, he decided to go take a bath.
When he walked into the bathroom though, he was greeted by a startling sight in his mirror. He leaned over the sink until his nose was just inches from the cool glass, staring at himself. There were deep bags under his eyes, and his skin was duller in color. There were marks on his face, like he’d been scratching it and hadn’t realized that he was doing it. And maybe he was mistaken, but even the color of his eyes was slightly diminished.
“Oh my gosh, I really am hungry,” he whispered to himself in the mirror. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, thoroughly annoyed. He didn’t want to have a bath anymore. He was going to go downstairs and eat all of his food, goddammit.
It wasn’t enough. He felt like his body physically couldn’t hold anything else after he finished his food, but he could still feel the itch of hunger in his mouth. He couldn’t stand it. He had to do something, he had to find something else to eat.
He wondered if Spongebob had anything… No, he couldn’t break into his house! He would just go take that bath he’d promised himself earlier, and then maybe… No, it was out of the question. Spongebob would never let him live it down.
Even as he drew up his bath, he was peering out towards Spongebob’s bedroom window, which he could see the other still sitting in front of. He sat in the tub and checked out of the window again, only to see those blue eyes still staring back at him. His eye twitched and he wiped his face to make it stop. But Spongebob was starting to look tired. Maybe if he just waited in the bath for a while, the poriferan might fall asleep…
Hours passed. Squidward was starting to get cold in the tub, but he just kept checking out his window. Even though he knew he shouldn’t steal Spongebob’s food, it was like a reflex for him to keep checking. Besides, his hunger was creeping back up on him. Oh, Spongebob was leaned slightly forward in his seat with his eyes closed! Squidward splashed out of the bath, hurriedly putting his clothes back and going downstairs.
He shouldn’t knock. He wondered if the door was locked. He felt oddly giddy, or perhaps just nervous. But the door was unlocked. He just pushed it open! Wasn’t the sponge worried about burglars?
Squidward stood in the door for a moment, the soft light from the underwater moon backlighting him into a greyish glow. He should just walk away right now. The sponge probably didn’t have anything up to his standards anyway. Yeah. Definitely not.
But that didn’t stop him from going further into the pineapple anyway. He took care to be extra quiet. Stepping as lightly as he could. Opening the fridge and cabinet doors by lifting them slightly so they wouldn’t squeak too loudly. Using his palm to brace the fridge when he closed said door. Balancing as much food as he could carry, he started tiptoeing back to the front door.
“AHA!” Squidward jumped and dropped at least half of the things he was carrying. Glass rained over his ankles when a bottle of jellyfish jelly shattered next to him. He froze in place, staring wide eyed at his neighbor. “I KNEW YOU WERE A ZOMBIE!! You were coming to kill me! By… stealing my food?”
Squidward tilted his head forward slowly, waiting for Spongebob to say something else. The sponge blinked at him a few times. “Why are you stealing my food?”
The octopus opened and closed his mouth stupidly for a few moments, and then answered back heatedly. “You thought I was coming to kill you? Don’t be ridiculous, Spongebob!”
“Well, yeah. You didn’t wash your hands after touching Sandy’s box of zombie virus.” Spongebob sat on the couch. “Why are you stealing my food?”
“I was, uh. Hungry, and I didn’t have anything at my house.”
Spongebob shrugged. “Okay, sure. But, don’t take my jars! I need them for my jelly. Oh, oh! You should stay over and watch a movie with me while we eat through all this!” The sponge stood up and waved his hands excitedly. Squidward shook his head slowly, but Spongebob held up a hand. “No, you’re hungry! You can eat my food, if you stay over here and watch a movie with me.”
Squidward’s stomach let out a traitorous growl as he opened his mouth to decline, probably with some hateful response. He looked down at the food in his arms and on the floor and sighed. “Okay, but only for a little bit. I guess. And I’m not going to like it.”
“Great! Put my food down and help me clean up my jellyfish jelly.”
After they cleaned up the jelly, it was calm for a while. Spongebob really was tired and kept almost falling asleep. Squidward just kept eating and staring off into space, not really paying attention to the movie or his neighbors idle comments on it. He was really starting to get annoyed by his hunger.
“Okay Squid, tell me the truth. How hungry are you?” Spongebob said quietly after a time, sitting up a little straighter.
Squidward frowned at the spoonful of applesauce in his tentacle. “Really hungry. It’s killing me. Nothing is fixing it.”
“Even after eating pretty much everything in my kitchen?”
Squidward nodded.
Spongebob turned and fixed him with a stare that made it impossible for him to move. He never knew that Spongebob could get this serious. “So hungry that you could eat me?”
Squidward’s eye twitched. “I wouldn’t eat you, you’d be too squishy and sweet. You’d rot my teeth.”
Spongebob laughed. “You’re so kind!”
The octopus rolled his eyes. “It wasn’t a compliment.”
Another silence moved across them, thoughtful. “Squidward, do you really not see that the virus is affecting you? Please, you have to let Sandy help you before it’s too late-”
“There is no such thing as a zombie virus, Spongebob!” Squidward snapped, moving away from the other and glowering, teeth bared in his irritation. “You can’t believe that. You’re not that stupid! I’m just hungry, nothing else.” He let out a huff. What if he was wrong? Did he really have a zombie virus? Was he going to die? If he was, how long did he have? His voice dropped. “Right?”
Spongebob scooted slightly closer. “We’re gonna find a cure buddy! Don’t worry.”
They held eye contact for a long while. Spongebob was surprised by how many of his friends were looking at him so searchingly today. Like he would have answers. Funny, since both Sandy and especially Squidward saw him as too naive to understand things.
“I really hope so, Sponge. I’m really hungry.”
“I’m sorry.”
“You can’t really be sorry. You don’t know the feeling.”
And Squidward wished to himself that Spongebob would never know the feeling.