Archive of Our Own

...*sighs*
(not this...)

Another day of working in CEO after few months from horror in elevator: Protag couldn't use to this, at any moment, his whole body is ready for something disgusting, horrible, breathtaking(in worst way possible), obnoxious and any other words to describe whatever he had been gone through. Yes, he had guesses about it since many people in this building experienced the same, but still...Protag feels like it was just yesterday. It's still..so unusual to live just ordinary life.
But not many things changed: Man working on his 6th purple floor, still awaits for better salary(he started to get more, but not as much as ...oh, in next paragraph) and still gets jumpscared because of Normal Guy who appears out of nowhere, reminding about paperwork. Finn hates this job with whole heart, but..."it gives money, at least.." as he could tell.
But who doesn't have to cry about anything it's him: Chase Beckley. This man annoyed Protag more than anyone else in this CEO: loud, talkative, self-centered, materialistic, womanizer(or how he likes to say "womenfully successful), whatever newbie could call him, but the worst of all it's...

Protag started to feel something for Coworker.
And he hates it. Really hates it.

Finn is aware how Chase begs for women's attention: if someone has to brag about countless dates(which weren't that serious), relationships(which weren't serious), gifts(which Coworker will depreciate in a month), it would be Beckley. But of course it's not all what bratty blondie richman could talk about, mostly, after elevator events, he started to spend more time with Finn: called him for lunches, visited his floor(when he's bored. Of course not like it's always), drinked alcohol with him after work, sometimes they were spending time even at Coworkers office(which was bigger than Protag's, obviously) and etc. And probably... it's when newbie realized his feelings for Coworker.
It's not like Finn is unaware of his sexuality, no, he's pretty aware: he knows he's gay since high school/university. But it's 70's: it's russian roulette, he doesn't know which guy can return his feelings and which not. He was rejected, somewhere, twice in his whole bitter life 29 years long. However his sexuality is not the last reason for rejection. About this later.

Dark haired in glasses man really wishes he couldn't go to work today, but he can't: Today it's Friday, 14th February, Valentine's Day, Death of Kennedy, whatever this day y'all can call. And Protag hated this day since middle school: he didn't get this day, can't understand nowadays either. No, it's not only because of rejections (or idea of it) but because he doesn't understand "Why people reminding you that they love you once in a year if you have other 364 days left?". Plus for him it's kind of cheesy despite of him being soft person once he'd be in relationship. Other question if he'll be in one anyways...
The other reason was in paper hearts(valentines) which students in school were supposed to give: Protag didn't like an idea of it because it felt like a shame for having zero hearts. Not like he needed it still...it was hurt a bit.
Of course coworkers on this job don't have any time to think about valentines, however someone still got all his attention without even trying...from female audience(maybe male too, but they're scared/hj)
Finn was about to push the button for his floor until someone stopped the door closing with shoe.

Of course it's...

—"Hey hey, wait!! I need elevator too!!"

..of course it's Chase. Who'd ever can be?
When Coworker was standing next to Protag, Finn's eyes starting to peek on Chase's case(it's event, like, he's not always bringing it unlike Finn) with...love letters. Of course it's from women: shorter one KNOWS IT, he doesn't even have to prove.
His attention was broken once Chase finally started to speak again.

—"Geez, i thought today it's Friday, not Monday with everyone wanting something from me..!" -blondey rubs back of head, looking away for a moment, muttering something with annoyance and faint smile on face.—"and of course it's another meeting with boss on bored ass conference till lunch. Can you imagine?"
—"...ah?"

Finn suddenly peeks up at him awkwardly, like being lost in thoughts before catching what taller man was talking about. He nods slowly, trying to act casual.

"... yeah...can imagine."

Coworker blinked at him for few seconds and was about to say something, but Protag cutted him(with no intention), poking finger on suitcase.

"As i can see, you're already spoiled with attention?"

Coworker blinked surprisingly at own suitcase (like if he saw it for first time) and rushed fingers through hair in cool motion, the smirk of full narcissism spreads his face.

—"Aha, what? Already figured out?~"-Chase speaks teasingly and mischievously, looking down at him like if it was his own victory,—"You sound juuust a bit jealous or envy, Finn."-he noticed with raised eyebrow and knowing satisfied look.

Hell, this man knows he's fine.

—"What i supposed to be envy or jealous about?.."- Finn raised eyebrow in return, placing hand on waist and trying to avoid gaze, wanting to..hide sudden blush on his cheeks,—"Congrats that you're so popular, but what's the point? It's kind of childish. I don't need any of this..."- he glances down at Coworker's suitcase before looking at Chase again with unimpressed look. Blush on his cheeks faded out, slowly.-"...attention. I'm not that desperate for it 𝘶𝘯𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘰𝘯𝘦 i know."
—"Sheesh, man, you wounded me!"-Blonde man said in dramatic tone and gasping before chuckling shortly and returning mischievous tone,— "But if seriously speaking, why you sound so bitter about it, like a lemon?"- he started to speak more gently, dropping tease for a moment.— "What's wrong with it?"
—"I just don't get the point of Valentine's Day."-Protag shrugs, answering casually as looks forward to doors and then lowering gaze to the floor.—"..Why people reminding you that they love you once in a year? Also it's just, like...too cheesy?.. even for me."
—"Boo, man, you sound like offended highschooler who was rejected once or twice, hahah."- Protag blinks before looking at him in horror and annoyance and Coworker catched the gaze, gulping quietly and avoiding gaze with forced smile.—"Eh, whatever.."

..Finn relaxed. He didn't want to scare Chase.. totally didn't. He wanted to apologize, but taller man stopped him without intention.

—"Anyways, what about having lunch later? Or are you too grumpy today?"

(so he wants to have the lunch with me again... it's..good. very good)

—"Ah, yes, I agree. After 1:00 PM?"
—"As always, man."

Curly dark-haired man sees this familiar mischievous, but softer for him smirk like it's no doubt for it. They'd have lunch together, as usual. And Finn can't but gives faint soft smile in return. He feels something warm in his heart, but can't explain exactly..or can but afraid.
...But Protag is curious about something else.

(... maybe question might be stupid. But i want to ask him. C'mon, Finn, don't be awkward mess...!)

Finn grips onto suitcase like wanting to brave himself before letting"ehem" quietly and returning gaze to Coworker, speaking in slight shyness.

—"...Hey, Chase, I'm just curious..."-Coworker picks at him, raising eyebrow aa sees Protag sliding shoe on floor and lowering gaze somewhere else, straightening his tie.-"Are you, by any chance...Free tonight? I thought maybe we could spend time..a bit differently than usual: maybe could drink tea instead of beer and..spend time more peacefully?"

Finn finally looks at him again and he sees Coworker's pursed lips and narrowed eyes in thought before he shook head, shrugging a bit.

—"Eh, sorry, Finn, today I'm havin' a date. Sorry about that again."

Coworker's answer sounded so nonchalant and casual, but yet...Protag captured genuine regret and awkwardness in Chase's tone.
However it doesn't help at all. Of course, why Coworker wouldn't have a date already with someone or to be exact, with a woman. Finn knew it, despite of having hope. Moreover, he lies, he didn't want that evening to be clearly platonic, he wants something more, but it's sort of fantasy. And it's obvious too.

(...as expected.)

Finn shakes head slowly, forcing slight faint smile and chuckling quietly.

—".. it's fine. I mean, i hope you'll enjoy your evening."
—"Nah, your idea sounds...cute even? It's just i already have plans."
—"It's fine."

..lie. And yet, seems Chase didn't suspect anything..and hopefully wouldn't.
Rich man was about to say something else, but elevator's doors opened with short ding on 5th floor(surprisingly, no pool with toxins). Finn should give papers to someone from CEO before working on 6th floor so he steps out of elevator and stops, hearing Chase's voice again.

—"..yeah, i can't spend time tonight with you, but i still will visit you for lunch, kay? You can't get rid of me easily.~"

Protag looks at him over shoulder, noticing Coworker's try to cheer him up and...it works, somehow. He's actually excited for this lunch(it's like something today should be different but he can't tell...or he's imagining things, who knows?). He can't show it, he should keep himself on toes... it's exciting.
Finn smiles slightly in return, nodding in agreement.

—"...yeah...I can't. And I'll wait for you."
—"Hahah, Good! See ya later then, newbie."
—"I'm not newbie after working for few months..."
—"Nah, even ten years later you'll be my newbie! That's the point!"
—*tired sigh* "Chase, i have to go"..
—"Ah, yes, see ya!"

..And the doors of elevator finally closed. Finn slowly turns away and gulps quietly, massaging own curls with fingers, repeating Coworker's words in head.
Visit for lunch...
Protag hates the feeling: he feels like a highschooler who can't breath normally around his crush and he feels stupid, like if he's already imagining cliche scenarios with big house, three cats and hamsters despite of hearing JUST AN INVITATION for lunch.
It's so corny, so stupid...but so real. Finn feels how his heart beats faster, own tie feels tight instead of being tied nornally, blush on his cheeks, sweat on forehead and his urge to squeak, scream..but he holds it. Not here.
Protag slides down next to office's door(which he supposed to open for 5 minute talk, but stops himself), wanting to calm down own heart and nervousness. Finn hides head in knees, sighing and chuckling quietly at own current situation.

(it's so frustrating and yet... refreshing...glad he can't watch me like this.)

He sighs and peeks up at ceiling, adjusting his glasses with fingers and slowly his blush dissapears. He massages temples before standing up and brushing off his pants checking for no mess, picking his suitcase up and exhaling, planning to finally enter the office.
4 hours till lunch left.

***

[12:55 PM]

Protag working in his office, checking papers, writing something on them and collecting in a folder as usual, boring work but it's how it is. "Anything is better than d̶y̶i̶n̶g̶ e̶v̶e̶r̶y̶ t̶i̶m̶e̶ i̶n̶ t̶h̶e̶ e̶l̶e̶v̶a̶t̶o̶r̶."
Finn was so focused so he didn't even notice how time passed. He was only drinking coffee or eating chocolate candies which Normal Guy gave(not like they were the best, but anyways).
When Protag was about pick something up from floor and kneeling down under table until he hears "ding!" and familiar voice speaks cheerfully.

—"Ahooy, ladies!! Or if speculary speaking, gentleman. I arrived as always, in the same time, the same moment-"
—"..Ouch!!"

Finn suddenly hits head under table, hissing quietly and murmuring "fuck...", picking pen up and slowly standing out of table up.

—"Ah, Chase, it's you? Sorry, i was... kind of busy."-he apologizes, rubbing forehead with hand and returning gaze to him, speaking without annoyance.—"You're a bit..earlier?"
—"Earlier? What do you mean, man, it's almost time for lunch!! Did you really not look at watch?"-Coworker asks in surprised tone like it's something criminal.
—"... It's time already??"

Protag looks at watch on his table and lets out quiet "ohh...", giving himself facepalm.

—"I was...so distracted by work..."
—"Nah, it's fine, relax. But we have to rush! I know one perfect place."
—"Perfect... place?"

Finn's confusion and curiosity made the smirk spread on Chase's face in amused way so he looks around(like if he got a secret), leaning a bit in and hiding one side of face with hand, whispering with confidence.

—"I know one good place which is not that far away from our building. There it's good food, atmosphere and etc..i thought you'd definitely like it soo.. that's why I'm offering."-he says with faint smirk and wink, awaiting for Protag's reaction.
—"... well..."-Protag hums, bringing knuckle to lips thoughfully and stays silent, nodding slowly in agreement.—"Sure, why not?"
—"Perfect. Anyways, i wouldn't like an idea of rejecting my offer."-Chase chuckles softly, gently squishing Finn's cheeks like if it's grandma sees grandson.—"Shall we goooo~?"
—"C-Chase, I'm not your plush to be squished like that!!"-Finn narrows eyes and frowns in annoyance, giving unsatisfied look.
—"Heh, sorry, your cheeks are too soft, hahah."-Coworker gives one last squish before letting go and straightening himself, turning away towards elevator.—"Let's go, we have 1 hour left! We should spend time amazingly."
—"..Yeah, we should..."-Finn says it with sigh, caressing cheek in soothing motion and following Coworker.

(what kind of place he means exactly...?)

Now elevator starts to go down till 1st floor.

***

"Are we still far away..?"
"Nah, we're already here."

Coworker stops and puts hand on waist, looking at Protag expecting reaction. They're finally reached the place he was talking about and..Finn silently looks at it with curiosity.
Now they can see coffee themed cafe mixed with pastel orange colors: a checkered gazebo with orange and brown colors, dark brown door, longitudinal windows with orange frame and..with little hearts on each frame angle? Seems it was added especially for the atmosphere. Aesthetic choice.
Finn opened mouth, but Coworker stopped him, nudging with elbow.

"I know you were expecting something else, but beliiieve me, inside it's better and warmer. Just give it a chance."
"I wanted to say it's good design-"
"Wait, really??"
"Mhm."

Finn makes a pause and hides hands in pockets of winter jacket, looking at cafe building thoughtfully and speaks again.

—"I have a friend who's familiar with design, she draws and etc.."-he starts slowly and his tone softens a bit at memory, chuckling quietly and returning gaze,—"she's more likely wants to be a critic, but still. I learnt something from her."
—"Oh, really? That's good even- Oh waait."-Coworker suddenly blinks and looks at him again, narrowing eyes in suspicion.—"Did you say «𝑠ℎ𝑒»?"
—"Um...yes?"-Protag asks innocently, raising eyebrow in confusion.—"We're friends since childhood..."
—"Friends, huh...."-Coworker"s suspicion doesn't leave him, it's even increased. He rolls eyes with faint smile and looks away, chuckling with amusement,—"Huh, that's kind of...weird, i dunno. Men and women being friends...? Okay, try not to fall in love with her then,hahah."-his voice holds a hint of mockery, but he doesn't insult Finn either.

(...*sigh* of course he wouldn't believe this theory.)

Finn is aware of Chase's opinion about women and everything what's related to it: for him, knitting, sewing, cooking and etc is for women, he doesn't want to do any of this because thinks it'll ruin his masculinity.
Meanwhile Finn is complete opposite: in free time, he likes knitting, sewing, can cook(when he's not that busy) and in general he never liked an idea of stereotypes for many reasons ..but he can't say it exactly.
He's even afraid of saying about this, he knows how Coworker will tease him so he's kind of lying, a bit. He wishes he could be more honest, but for now he can't, unfortunately.

Coworker rubs his hands for warming himself up and scoffs nervously.

"Hahah, anyway, we have to go insiide, d-don't you think?"

Chase really tries to pretend like he's not freezing. But he is and Finn doesn't like it.
Finn rolls eyes and turns to him fully, giving unimpressed look, taking Chase's hands in his without any questions.

—"I'm always telling you to wear gloves and hat...why are you so careless?"-he grips Coworkers hands for giving warmth through gloves and Chase lets out "woah!!", not distracting Finn from work. Finn is too focused for it.
—"H-hey, I'm just looking ugly in hat! And about gloves uhh..."-he sheepishly smiles, giving apologizing look. Like if he was big puppy who made mistake.—"I...forgot."
—"And why I'm not surprised..."-Protag sighs, asking rhetorically, feeling like a mother who scolds his child.—"How it's possible to be forgetful about such things?"
—"Believe me, you don't wanna be in my skin."-Coworker says in annoyed sidelong grin, his eye twitches a bit.—"And who are you for teaching me? Parent? Teacher?"
—"Be grateful someone 𝒂𝒕 𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒔𝒕 𝒄𝒂𝒓𝒆𝒔 about your own health."-Finn responds in the same annoyance, finally looking at him with red cheeks and pout.

But knowing Finn, Chase doesn't want to make him purely angry, but apologizing is hard for him either so he looks away, murmuring with grumpy tone and...barely noticeable blush on cheeks: not from cold, but embarrassment.

—"... Let's go inside before someone will notice us and will think about us, like..you know."

One phrase but reality hits Protag as he looks down at their hands and he suddenly nods, letting go of hands with bashful look and sheepish faint smile.

"Ah, yes...of course..."

Coworker nods and turns away, going first towards cafe and Protag hides hands in pocket, looking at snow on his shoes thoughfully with narrowed eyes in annoyance(and because of snow hitching his glasses too).

(he could at least say "thanks" for warming him up...)

At the same time, it was indeed kind of dangerous, they're on open territory and who knows how strangers could take this act. But for Finn...it was kind of enjoyable. Yeah, he's not satisfied how dialogue went, but it's them, it's him and Chase Beckley, what else he could expect...?
He finally follows him inside.

Coworker opens the door and in hand motion "ladies first", Protag rolls eyes and steps inside, looking around with curiosity.
Inside it's..indeed warmer. Rectangular tables for 4, chairs with patterns on the backs, heart shaped pastel orange tablecloths in main hall and somewhere on right it's little stairs for second hall. Few tables with cream themed sofa's and warm blankets on them. It looks bigger than outside..and it's good.
As expected, few tables are taken by couples or parents and children. Finn feels even awkward: what if someone will take him and Chase wrong and they'll be kicked out. It's...risky.

Chase stands next to him, raising eyebrow and looking at him with "see? I was right."

—"...Wow.. it's indeed looks like good place.."-Finn searches for free table and blinks, feeling Coworkers grip of hand on shoulder.
—"Oh, Greetings, beautiful lady, set the table for two please: for me and my friend.~"-Chase speaks to woman on reception, eloquently and confidently.—"Is it fine to ask?"
—"Of course, table for two it's 7th. "-She points with finger, politely bowing with head and smiling faintly.—"Enjoy your lunch here."
—"With pleasure."-Chase responds with smile, wanting to kiss girls hand as etiquette, but almost fell on floor because girl already leaded them to the table. Finn chuckled, rolling eyes in amusement.

When they reached the table, two men set down and girl said waiting for waiter. They both unbuttoned jackets, Finn takes hat and gloves off, sitting on armchair comfortably and looking at Chase again.

—"Honestly, i thought we'd get worse reaction than...you get it, i think."-Protag takes off glasses, wiping the lenses with sleeve and putting them on. He looks at him with worry.— "What if she indeed...wanted, like...to judje, i mean-"
—"Finn, relax."—Coworker leans towards him, speaking with nonchalance yet with reassurance. Their noses almost touching.-"It's not only couples eating here, but families, friends and etc... Don't overthink anything, please. We are fine, okay?"
—".. you're probably right."-Protag sighs and as Coworker have him sidelong smirk "i told you so".All what Finn should care about it's relax and good food.

Chase leaned back in his chair, taking menu into his hands.

—"Soo...we have all time..until end of lunch, but anyways,-he crossed legs under table, looking into menu, studying possible orders.—you pay for yourself by the way."
—"But usually you payed for us both, huh..?"-Finn raises eyebrow, searching for any hint of joke. Found none. He shrugs, looking into menu nonchalantly.—"..Well, not like i mind it."
—"...W-what do you mean you don't mind it??"-Chase asks in pure confusion like Finn's nonchalance offended him personally.—"I- i expected you to- like.."
—"I mean, you know well I'm not into someone spending money for me and i agreed just because I'm polite.."-Finn responds without looking, turning the page of menu.—"So now...it kind of makes me responsible."

Coworker blinked few times, not believing what he heard right now and peeks at Protag for a moment before looking into menu again with gruff.

(..why he gave this reaction...?)

Protag was about to ask him, but Coworker starts conversation again.

—"..Did you pick anything?"
—"Not sure.. I'm just.. trying to pick what i can afford."
—"So maaybe instead i could-"
—"𝑵𝒐."
—"C'mon, man, you make me suffer-"

Finn sets menu down, sighing and cupping cheek with knuckle boredly, giving him expected look.

—"Why are you so desperate paying for me, Chase?"-he raises eyebrow, tilting head to the side.
—"I mean i kind ooof...liike... spoiling you, i guess."-Coworker shrugs, putting lock of hair away as smirks slightly.—"Is it bad?~"
—"I wouldn't say it's bad, but i think you have ways to spend money for."-Finn looks away for a moment, narrowing eyes a bit.—"So don't be dramatic."
—"Woah, harsh, really."-Coworker says with sarcasm and rolls eyes, groaning in dramatic manner.—"No, seriously, you know well my salary and now refuse because of my jooke..."
—*sighs* oh stop, really..."

Protag takes menu into hands and hides his face, trying to focus on options however he hears...the sound of nails on the table. He frowns, his knuckles a bit shaking at sound so he sets menu down harshly with annoyed look.

—"Are you doing this on purpose..??"
—"On purpose what?"
—"𝑻𝒉𝒊𝒔."

Finn points with finger on Chase's hands and Chase gulps, taking menu into hands again. He looks.. awkward.

—"Ehh...sorry, it's- on accident..mostly."-Chase rubs back of head with timid smile, sweating.—"It's not on purpose."
—"It's just...kind of..gets on nerves."-Finn elaborates calmer and pauses, sighing, not in annoyance, but likely «What i have to do you with you..» way.—"Your attention spawn it's... interesting thing."
—"Weeell, hahah, from Normal Guy i got comments like I'm impatient on serious meetings, might forget something what i told earlier, i might have unfinished projects, lost in time.."-Coworker counts on fingers and returns gaze, pouting in offense.—"What a nonsense he's saying!"

—"Well, it sounds like a truth...kind of."-Finn blinks, fixing his glasses with finger.—"My friend has the same traits."
—"...W-What??"-Chase widened eyes, putting hand behind back of head, looking away with slight pout and.. discomfort.—"What do you mean, Finn?"
—"I don't wanna be rude, it's just my friend has ADHD so that's why i found it familiar."-Protag says casually like it's pretty basic information.—"I'm not saying anything though.."
—"...Oh." Coworker looks at Protag blankly for few seconds and pauses, admitting quietly. "Hell, i can't even shut up for once, huh..."

Finn blinks and raises eyebrow, narrowing eyes in confusion and gasps silently in realization. He lowers gaze in.. shame?

(ohh, seems it means- ohh, Finn, Finn, Finn, YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN acting normal. Seems i offended him, oh god, oh nonono-)

He gulps and pauses, speaking gentler, wanting to reassure Coworker.

—"..I really didn't want to be rude about it, really."-Finn rubs neck awkwardly, returning gaze in apology and regret.—"I didn't know."
—"Nah, I'm not mad or sad y'know."-Chase waves hand in dismissal, rolling eyes and trying to play off, resting hand on back of armchair in nonchalance.—"I probably had to say it, but uhh...i dunno...i couldn't."-last words he added quietly with lack of confidence.
—"No, it's not an excuse."-Finn says firmly as shakes head, frowning and giving himself facepalm with groan, sliding down a bit in armchair. He wants to dissapear.—"I...i was really rude and i hate it. I used to your traits, i really did and i... didn't want to shame on them. But did for no reason...sorry..."
—"Hey, dude, relax..you're totally not a bad person."-Chase makes weak smile, tilting head on the side and softening gaze.—"It's usual reaction what i heard from..neurotypicals they say, yeah?"-he chuckles and looks away for a moment, not expecting to say this word ever. He didn't expect this conversation to happen.
—"What if i'll tell you I'm not neurotypical exactly?"-Finn says as a matter of fact and pauses, realizing what he said and shuts himself, muttering and cursing through teeth. —"Oh fuck..."

Chase blinks at him in silence and says "eh?", opening mouth in pure surprise and shock.

—"...Wait, what??"
—"Uh...weeell...."
—"Finn??"
—"Can you at least not to yell in public place?!"
—"No I can't!!-"

Finn reaches out to Coworkers face, shutting him with palm and leaning in, lowering voice to whisper.

—"Just listen to me and don't be loud, okay?"
—..."M-mhm.."

When Coworker nodded, Protag slowly puts hand off his face and leans back in chair, sighing in relief. Once Chase started to look at him in waiting, Finn massages scalp with fingers, avoiding gaze bashfully.

—"...i wanted to say, i mean, i think it makes sense to say right now so you wouldn't be confused..."-he starts slowly in slight uncertainty, keeping running fingers in hair and gulps, like giving up on this awkward start.—"Shortly, I'm autistic and i feel bad that i treated you...i mean ..you get, i guess..."

—"Wait...are you telling me... you're 𝘢𝘶𝘵𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘤??"-Chase gasps silently and covers mouth with hand and removes it, leaning in and hiding side of face with palm, speaking with whisper.—"like...diagnosed..??"
—"Yeah...uh...i am."-Finn nods in confirm, sheepishly smiling and caressing cheek with finger awkwardly.—"Seems you too, but with ADHD..right?"
—"..yeah, kind of."-Chase starts relaxing his body language, taping on table slightly, but this time in silence, looking over shoulder amd check-in if someone watches them before looking back at Finn again, speaking serious.—"..i was diagnosed not as a child but adult. I suspected something wrong in myself, thought «Maybe I'm just stressing out or it's seasonable thing»..-he takes jacket off fully, putting it behind his back, keeping speech.—"..so one from our company offered me to visit neurologist and..."

He stops like wanting to be sure if he can continue so Protag gets it, moving palm as a hint to keep going.
Coworker hums again and mutters quietly.

—"What i wanted to say..."-he frowns, snapping fingers before saying «Ah, yes!»,chuckling and putting hands together under chin.—"I was like «Why i had to? I'm totally fine!» but gave this idea a chance. So i went to them aaand...."-he lowers gaze somewhere, saying "tsk" through teeth in bitter manner.—"So it was ADHD...funny shit, but kind of ruins my life, y'know?"

Protag softens gaze. Looking at Coworker, opening for him to talk about this it's... really something valuable and important for him. Chase knows a lot about Finn: slowly, but rightly he knew about Finn's childhood, lifestyle, tastes and etc. The other one doesn't talk about himself a lot so every "lore drop" is good, very good.

Finn makes a pause, admitting quietly.

—"...can relate, honestly. I mean, about last part."-he cups cheek with hand, looking at Chase with full understanding.—"I knew about my autism in adulthood despite of seeing hints since childhood."
—"But why wouldn't you say about it if-"-Coworker cuts himself, remembering Protag's parents and frowning.—"...ohh...got it...So..how did you figure out..?"
—"In childhood, i remember i cried because i felt uncomfortable in dre- i mean, in t-shirt."-Chase looks at him in suspicion at sudden cut with raised eyebrow, but doesn't comment on it, letting Finn talking. —"like...i was sooo uncomfortable so parents thought i was being dramatic..but they let me to pick something else."

Coworker blinks slowly his eye twitches in...annoyance? Anger? Possibly because of absurdity from Protag's parents.

—"Ew, why you even had to be allowed to do so? Why did you need any permission?"-Chase rolls eyes in annoyance,not at Protag but parents,—"I mean, i didn't cry at being uncomfortable in clothes however i understand this reaction! Like if i was dressed in boring ass black costume instead of yellow or green amazing costume, I'd be dissapointed too! So i get it, approved reaction!"
—"Yeah, thank you for understanding.."-Finn rubs back of neck shyly, blushing slightly.—"I hope... you're indeed not offended.."
—"Oh c'mon, Finn, i told youu, I ain't holding any grudge against you! Relax."-Chase waves hand dismissaly, avoiding gaze.. because of shyness?—"I can't even be fully offended at you.Seriously, you can do anything but offend me! Nothing to worry about!"
—"I hope so..."-Finn smiles faintly, looking at him softly.

Despite of his sarcasm, he never has intentions to offend someone..including Chase.

—"I'm trying to..control it. Really do."
—"Finn, you can literally call me an asshole and i'd agree with that."-Chase says without any emotion for a moment, adjusting tie.—"i mean...you're not sayin' stupid things.I understood it back in elevator, i understand it now. That's... why you're working too: our work...doesn't accept someone without brain. The other question is will you able to think tommorow because...anythin' can happen, anythin'."
—"Chase..."

Protag looks at Coworker in silent, almost unnoticeable, but awe. Honestly, for him understanding Coworkers persona is hard: he can be funny and chilling but minute later he'd get serious and say important things. It's impressive for Finn because Chase is not dumb despite of him acting or being dumb, but it's human factor anyway. The way he hid everything he knew until last of Protag's death in that horrible elevator cycle it's...scary yet deserves respect. If Coworker could be an object, he'd be kinder surprise for sure. You'll never know what Coworker can do and say tomorrow.
Finn stares at him silently(without intention, it's just ..happens) so when waiter came, he blinked as realized he was in kind if of trance, hypnotized even..by Chase? Much so.

—"So can i take an order?"-man asks politely, taking the pen from behind of ear and turning the page of notes.—"Or should i give a bit more time?"
—"Ah, yeah, i already know what 𝘪 would like to order."-Chase chuckles as starts naming food and coffee. Seems it's something way simpler than usual Coworker's orders...or it's just because of place.

Waiter hums, nodding and thoughfully writing Chase's order before looking at Finn with faint smile.

—"And you? What you'd like to order, sir?"
—"Ah...well..."

Finn was about to say what he wants to order, but it's like he feels something stuck in his throat, he doesn't know what it is. Usually he's fine with talking to service(or at least mostly, he's socially awkward) so what happens now?? He doesn't know but wants already to disappear somewhere deep in ground.
Waiter raises eyebrow and Chase understands what's going so he gently takes Protag's menu and looks into it thoughtfully.

—"Sorry for my friend, i think what he wants to order it's cream cheese soup and pasta with spicy sause. And cappuccino with tiramisu."-he then peeks at Protag, asking softer, wanting to reassure his nervousness.—"Right?"

(...huh? How did he knew what i wanted to pick?..without asking?? Is he can read my mind?? Probably not...)

Protag slowly nods before looking at waiter with sheepish faint smile, awkwardly..

—"Y-yeah, he's right. Also..as it stated in menu, can i get vanilla topping for coffee?"
—"Yeah, of course. Should i serve coffee at the same time with food or after?"
—"After i guess."
—"Mhm, after..."

Waiter writes order with thoughtful look and quiet hums before stating everything what he wrote in notes.

—"So... your order it's latte, lo mein, toasts, cream cheese soup, pasta with spicy sauce, cappuccino with vanila and tiramisu, correct?"
—"Yeaaah man, you got in right! It will be in time, right? It's juust, we know, we're busy men after all."~
_"We'll try so, surely. Just wait a moment."
—"W-we're not that in rush, really-"
—"Nothing to worry, our service is good. And now.. I'll leave."

With these words, waiter puts the pencil behind his ear and goes away. Now situation is better...but still awkward for Protag, a bit. He doesn't know why he suddenly went silent, couldn't even say properly his order like awkward teenager.. it's really odd.

Finn sighs slowly and rests head on his hands, hiding face completely.

—"S-sorry, i don't know what happened..."-he mumbles in shame and regret.—"I'm usually fine with it despite of my, you know...lack of social skills."
—"Pffft, Finn, you're agaain overreactin' and overthinkin', stooop."-Chase bows head, cupping cheek and gently poking Finn's head with finger, causing to look at him.—"I mean, yeah...you're 𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺 awkward...at least, most of times. But not always!"-he chuckles, booping Protag's nose and grinning teasingly.-"It's even cute of you though."
—"Stop treating me like a small shy kid in kindergarten."-Protag lifts head and straightens up, avoiding gaze and caressing wrist uncertainly.-"If you weren't around, I'd be somewhere underground."
—"Ohhh, is this your way to say I'm your hero and mouth?~"—Chase says jokily yet flirtatiously, leaning in and narrowing eyes like a cunning fox.-"I mean, i don't mind being needed by cute shy introverted boyy~"

—"Ha-ha, Chase, we're not in fairytale just to be sure."-Finn rolls eyes with forced smile and sarcasm, trying to hide blush before looking back at him again with deadpan. And yet... it's hard for him.-"And just for reminding: we're...in public place."

—"Tsk, you're no fun, Finn..."-Chase chuckles through teeth, leaning back in chair and looking around at other guests boredly, cupping cheek with knuckle.-"I didn't mean anythin' anyway..."

Protag exhales silently, slapping cheeks and making blush dissapear. Silence. He's not sure is it on purpose or Coworker doesn't know what to say else but he doesn't want to be silent for long so Finn settles in armchair more comfortably, speaking again, waryly.

"..How did you know what i..wanted to order? I didn't say or showed it."

Coworker blinks and turns heah to look at Protag again, sitting silent for a moment before tilting head to the side and chuckling with amusement.

—"I meaaan, we know each other not since yesterday so i thooought you would like new taste of pasta or new taste of soup...but coffee and tiramisu aren't replaceable so it definitely should stay. At least, that's what i thought."
—"..at first, i wanted tomato soup."
—"Wait, really...??"
—"Mhm, but then...i thought i would like cheese one instead so... that's why..."
—"Ooor you just wanted to agree with me because i knoow what you need~"
—"Hah, don't be cocky about it."
—"I want to!"
—"Chase-"
—"Yees?"

Protag opens mouth and closes it, tapping finger against cheek, thinking what argument he has.
.. Nothing. It's kind of...even true? Somehow, Coworker knows Protag's wishes, most of times, at least. On the one side, it's obvious, they're friends and colleagues for almost 6 months, they know each other's preferences, however, from other side... it's..still surprising.

(...)

He sighs softly like he's been defeated, admitting softer.

—".. Yeah, you've got a point."- Finn says quietly, looking away for a noment.
—"See? That's what I'm sayin'!"-Chase rolls eyes playfully and tilts head to the side curiosly, speaking calmer and seriously.-"By the way... about your autism thing... it's with you from childhood, as you said?"
—"Mhm, yes."-Finn nods, returning gaze and shifting position in armchair, his fingers silently sliding on menu under his elbow.-"However...As i mentioned before, i allowed myself to check it out in adulthood. I thought i was overthinking but... seems not."
—"Sooo you're tellin' me you're autistic...like diagnosed?"-Chase hums, rubbing chin with fingers and narrowing eyes like doesn't trust him.—"My nephew is autistic too.. he's nothin' like you, huh."
—"Chase.."-Finn makes forced small smile, sighing like a parent who got silly question from child, giggling shortly. He can't even be mad at him, he understands other man's confusion.-"Autism is...a spectrum. Your ADHD is a spectrum..any neurodivergence is a spectrum."

Coworker slowly blinks like a lizard and stays silent for few seconds before letting out quiet and awkward "ohh...". Hs rubs neck and avoids gaze with shy smile.

—"Oh damn...I made myself look like a fool, hah..How uneducated i am."-he scratches back of neck with nails, his cheeks reddening a bit.-"Sorry, man, really."
—"It's fine, i mean, not everyone's knows that.—man in glasses says it casually like nothing happened, he's not surprised in slightest.-"Even neurodivergent people. I'm not expert on this topic either."
—"Sheesh, man, sorry for doubting you."-Chase returns gaze and lowers tone, smirk slowly spreads on his face .-"At the same time... I'm not against being corrected by someone like you.."
—"W-what's with that tone of yours, Chase?.."-Finn gulps quietly, his tone holds hint of nervousness and attempt to act casual.-"And...ehem, don't go away from topic."
—"Hm, what topic, Finn?~"-Chase raises eyebrow, leaning in a bit more with faint smile, causing dark haired man blush and avoid gaze. He rests gaze on Protag's face, enjoying himself.- "Maaybe, I'm just a little bit distracted..."
—"Not like I'm struggling with concentration too... right now.."- Finn scratches cheek with finger, trying to not return gaze. He feels how his cheeks are burning from shyness..and he doesn't understand why.-"Can you stop looking at me like that?.."
—"Sure, we're about to eat anyways."-blond haired man leaned back in his armchair nonchalantly (like nothing happened) and dropped flirty tone, shrugging off. —"I'm already starved like an animal."

(huh...?)

Protag didn't even notice approaching waiter with his soup and Coworkers noodles who already left before he could even say "thank you", blinking slowly before looking down at own bowl of soup. He takes the spoon with fingers, eating thoughfully and with frown.

(..what was that right now? Is he was just messing around? Teasing me like usually?)

He looks at Coworker waryly, not wanting to be catched, seeking for something what can contradict Beckley's current nonchalance and calmness.
...None.

(...no, it can't be... I'm just imagining things... he's already busy today... he's just joking.)

Finn shakes head, looking into bowl and was about to start eating but Chase opened his mouth again.

—"Heh, you know.. it's even good we both have something weird in our neurodivergent minds."- he chuckles, slurping with noodle, swallowing and speaking through slurp.—"Bon appetit by the way."
—"Ah, yes... thank you."- Finn says bashfully and takes toast, biting it and raising eyebrow.-"And what do you mean about our "neurodivergent minds"?
—"Y'know, in my opinion, it means we can understand each other better than if we were talkin' with neurotypicals."-Chase twists noodles onto sticks, focusing on making accessible roll,—"I had struggles with it so...seeing someone who's opposite of it it's great for me."-he eats, returning gaze to Finn.—"Don't you think so?"
—"To be perfectly honest...yeah, you're right."-Finn hums, blowing on the hot liquid in the spoon before eating again and lowering gaze somewhere else.—"However, being neurodivergent not automatically means you will understand another one, still... it's indeed easier."
—"Yeah, of course. But it's not related to us, hmm?"-Chase gulped quietly after noodle, making sidelong grin.—"I think, i knew we are kind of, y'know...can understand each other on another level than others."

(... On another level...?)

—"You're telling this like if we are soulmates or whatever fate it is."-Dark haired man rolls eyes, making sarcastic faint smirk, biting the toast again.
—"And what if we are? No one denied this possibility!"-Chase scoffs and looks around, checking if no one looking so he lowers tone of voice, returning gaze while leaning in and raising eyebrow.-"Just..think about it: we, mostly you, were dyin' in elevator full of crazy things multiple times. And who you were seein' again and again?"

(...)
(...)
(...his words...do have a meaning. First who i saw after several deaths was 𝙝𝙞𝙢...and the most strangest thing is, he remembered 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮 of them, despite of acting oblivious.)
(...)
(Sometimes..it's really hard to understand his words and actions... maybe it's what Chase Beckley is..)

—"I saw... you?"-Finn speaks quiter too, thoughfully making circles with spoon in soup,—"Every..time."
—"Bingo, Watson."-Chase chuckles, ruffling other's man hair teasingly, slowering his fingers down so he strokes Finn's curls gently, completely ignoring Finn's pout and mumble «Chase, I'm eating-».—"It's weird, isn't it? But at the same time..."-he lazily puts hands off Finn's head, picking vegetables into sticks and eating it.—"Even good. Like, y'know, that's how it was supposed to be."

—"If my destiny was dying every time in elevator just to see loud self-centered stranger..no thanks."- Protag says awkwardly yet with hint of sarcasm, shaking head in amusement.
—"Hey, it hurts!"-Coworker makes a pout, putting hand on chest like if he was wounded.-"What do you mean?? You didn't want to see my precious amazing company?? How cruel, newbie!"

—"You know well my accent is not on you.."-Finn noticed quietly and shakes head, taking another toast.— "..i meant i didn't enjoy this horror."

—"Yeah yeah, i get it."- Chase waves hand dismissaly, his aloofness returns.—"Of course you didn't, neither am i! Thanks god we don't have this shit anymore!"- he makes a pause, adding quietly with slight worry. — "At least, i hope so..."

—"Me too...But I didn't notice anything weird since i was getting a job, so... i think we're fine."- Protag makes weak smile, wanting to comfort Coworker.—"We have to be careful, just for sure."

Coworker smiled slightly. Seems Protag's comfort helped him.

—"Heh, i like it when you're not pessimistic."- Chase responds with something warm in his tone, something simular to affection and care.— "Seems friendship with me affects you goodly, don't you think so, hmm?"- he teases friend with grin, still enjoying the food.

(Yeah... friendship. Not only, but anyways-)

—"Oh stop imagining things, Chase.."- Finn glares at him with slight smile, shaking head and sighing deeply like if they were couple who know each other for long time. Despite of all this tease, he enjoying company, a lot.

—"M-m, sorry, not planin'."- Chase says innocently, making teasing grin.- "You're stuck with me."

(Not like i mind the last part..oh wait, nono-)

Protag closes eyes so he could calm himself down and not starting blushing before opening eyes again and raising eyebrow once Chase started to speak again.

—"Y'know, I've been curious about something.."- Chase starts slowly, accepting latte from waiter, keeping eye on Finn and continuing when waiter left. —"..did you have any possible romantic interests in past, hm? I understand if you can't answer my question, still... just curious."

(!..)

(oh nonono-)

Protag's spoon dropped into soup bowl because of his own discomfort. How he can say about it without mentioning it were two different guys, at different timelines, who were rejecting him? It might be easy just changing pronounces, however it's still..hard to remember. But he has to so Coworker would stop teasing and asking him about Valentines day.

(*sigh...*)

Finn fixed tie, lifting spoon to his mouth again and looking at it with unreadable expression on his face.

—"..yeah, i had. I was falling for...two girls: once in highschool and later in university."

—"Woah, really? Heh, did you reject em?-

—"No, 𝙞 𝙬𝙖𝙨 rejected. Twice."

—"..oh."

Silence. Protag looks at Coworker, awaiting for tease, jokes, laugh or any other reaction, like "what a loser you are!" but instead, Coworker is just.. silent and not smiling. His reaction even...solemn.

Chase chews on noodles silently, abserving other man's words before scoffing loudly.

—"P-hah, what stupid decision they did! They literally rejected...𝘺𝘰𝘶?? 𝘖𝘧 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘱𝘦𝘰𝘱𝘭𝘦?? Nonsense!"

—"Eh...what do you mean..?"

—"No hidden meanings here, Finn. Look at you: you're, like, type of person what girls would definitely prefer! It's a crime!"

—W-well, i mean, they had reasons.."

—"And what shitty reasons they could have?? I can't think of any!"

(.. it's because you wouldn't believe it..or be disgusted..or both.)

(...)

Chase softens gaze and looks away, tapping fingers on table slightly.

—"..you know, sometimes, girls can make stupid decisions, including rejecting cute guys. Think of it like they gave you free place for 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳."-he looks at Finn again, his tone gets more positive."—"I know women."

—"Yeah.. thank you, Chase."-Protag makes sad fairly noticed smile before correcting him with sigh.—"But please, don't say it like that: it's not depends on sex or gender."

—"Yeah, yeah, you're right... I'll try to leave these comments behind."-Chase scratches back of head awkwardly in "my bad!" way.—"I know, you told me before. So... I'll try my best..in future."

—"Hopefully so.."

Despite of weird Coworkers wording, his support makes situation better. He doesn't know real reasons..but it's for good. For good..

When Finn finished with soup, he asked waiter to bring tiramisu and cappuccino and he's totally fine with waiting, him and Chase have 25 minutes left.. they'll be fine.

Coworker checks his wallet, humming and thinking about something.

—"Honestly, i reaally can't understand how they could reject ya, it feels...surreal."—he picks money from wallet, putting it on table, just in advance.—"You're attractive and have nice personality, what else they needed?"

—"Well, it's totally fine to not return feelings, because, like, people have preferences and i can't blame them.."-Finn sighs, looking somewhere else and adding in murmur, not wanting to be heard.—".. however...wish i weren't rejected just because of sexuality and identity..."

—"Yeah, of course they have, i can't blame i- wait, what did you say?"-Chase slowly peeked up at Finn, raising eyebrow in suspicion.

"𝙒𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙞𝙢𝙥𝙡𝙮𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙗𝙮 𝙡𝙖𝙨𝙩 𝙥𝙝𝙧𝙖𝙨𝙚 𝙖𝙗𝙤𝙪𝙩 𝙨𝙚𝙭𝙪𝙖𝙡𝙞𝙩𝙮 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙞𝙙𝙚𝙣𝙩𝙞𝙩𝙮?"

"..!

𝘐.."

Protag feels sudden rush on his back despite of being in warm cafe, his fingers and whole body shivering like crazy, pupils in his eyes widening and losing focus on reality, for him, time stopped. He wants to say, explain, elaborate but something stuck in his throat, it's like everything for him is in cold fog. He's panicking. Last time, when he felt like that, was on 4th floor, in his room from childhood where parents found him being awake. 

If he could pick something between death and current situation, he'd rather die, right now, it's better than feeling shame. Seeing Coworker, suspecting something, looking at him with mixed surprise, suspicion..and... disgust?? Protag can't think of accurate explanation but it's still has none of positive meanings.

(...)

"Finn?..."

Protag gulps and he feels how his throat hurts because of upcoming tears so he closes eyes, picking up clothes and leaving money on table before running away as fast as he can.

"Chase, I'm sorry!!"

"𝗙𝗶𝗻𝗻!!"

Chase stood up, wanting to run after Finn, reaching him but he's already gone. Like if it was in scenario, snow outside of cafe increased, wind gets stronger, atmosphere gets sadder. He looks forward with nothing but worry, ignoring freeze and holding onto doorway. He feels..guilty, even. 

Waiter approaches him, reminding to not get cold but Coworker ignores man until he asked gently.

"Where's your friend..?"

"...Seems...i messed up."

It's all what Chase could say.

***

[almost 7 PM]

Protag didn't spoke with Coworker since lunch. No, not because any of them decided to ignore each other(it's quite opposite), it's just Protag 𝘬𝘯𝘦𝘸 that Coworker wouldn't leave this topic behind.

So he asked Manuel not to...make 6th floor button work. Yeah, it was weird ask, like, how he can control elevator button, but it's Manuel and it's damn elevator w̶h̶i̶c̶h̶c̶a̶u̶s̶e̶d̶s̶e̶v̶e̶r̶a̶l̶d̶e̶a̶t̶h̶s̶ so nothing should be surprising here. Manuel did his task. Of course Finn knows that he can't run like this forever (no guarantee it will longer more than one week..or even one day), he just wanted to be alone, at least for now.

However work day still has possibility to end so Protag picks up suitcase, awaits for elevator and pushes first floor button, wanting to go home and..not to meet Coworker.

When elevator arrived, Finn stepped out and was about to leave building until someone was gripping onto Finn's jacket sleeve.

(...!..Is that..?..)

"Finn, can we talk?"

Dark haired man slowly turns, gulping quietly. Yes, it's Chase, with his own persona. He was definitely expecting him to go on 1st floor just in time..

Finn tries to read something hateful or angry on Chase's face(like he literally left him alone) but it's none, despite of grip, Beckley's body language relaxed and calm.

"...Please, nothing bad will happen. I just..wanna talk to 𝘺𝘰𝘶 in my office, promise you won't run away, okay?"

"..o..okay.."

Finn nodded and Chase slowly putted hand off him, waving with arm so they could arrive on Chase's floor.

And soon, Finn sat down on sofa in Coworkers office which indeed bigger than his own, but made in warm orange colors. Usually he sits in this office because Coworker invited him to drink, now he called him for serious dialogue... it's unusual..and scary.

Chase sits next to Finn, putting hand on shoulder and speaking calmly. It's twice unusual.

"Okay, now, we're here, no one can bother us."

"..."

"I.. I'm really sorry if i, like, could say something offensive or react, i really didn't mean to-"

"It's..not your fault, Chase. I was just...scared."

"Scared.. of what? Me..?

Pause. Protag doesn't even know how to respond: on one side, he was indeed scared of Coworker, not him exactly but by his reaction...more likely, afraid, afraid of disgust..or any other negative emotion. On other side, he was scared because...

...

(no, i was indeed scared in general...)

Finn shakes head slowly and stays silent before Chase started to speak again.

—"...you know, Finn, we know each other..since the day you started workin' here. And it means...we trust each other, correct? I don't...wanna you hidin' something from me, Finn, if anything, i wanna.. know you even more. And i totally don't wanna dissapoint or offend, y'see?.. just..tell me, I'll understand."- he avoids gaze yet it's visible he's speaking with sincerity and softness.—"Nothing can make me get rid off you, 𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴."

—"It's only...what you are saying on words."-Finn finally gives a voice, sliding fingers on own knee with sigh looking on floor."—If you were knowing my dirtiest secrets...i don't think.. you would like to..keep being friends with me and talking with me."

—"Pfft, c'mon, man, you're angel on my background!"—Chase scoffs artistically, bringing him close with hand and chuckling, raising eyebrow playfully.—"Don't be shyy, Finnie! I'm totally fine with anythin' you would say!"

(... you're.. totally wouldn't be fine with that, Chase...)

...At the same time, he can't run away. He has to say it. Yes, it might cost Coworker's respect, their bond, their friendship, even... Protag's feelings for him...but it will be revealed one day either way.

Finn grips cloth on knees, sighing slowly, calming his own worry before starting to speak, slowly and waryly.

".. I'm not... exactly weird as you used to know. I'm...weirder than you could ever guess, imagine, think... and.. it's hard to understand."

"I'll try to understand as much as i can, just...try! Please.."

"..okay."

Protag blinks at sudden.. soothing motion on his own shoulder, Coworker reassures him and looks at him in waiting, being genuinely curious in upcoming talk. His eyes..full of understanding. And how scary for Protag to lose such understanding just in few words...

Finn softens gaze and relaxed body language, speaking calmer.

—"Did you ever felt, like, something...wrong with you? When it comes to love?"-Finn looks at Chase, noticing how other one observes this question.

Chase keeps stroking Finn's shoulder but slower...and with more care.

—"Well, i mean, to be perfectly honest, kind of..."-Chase hums, rubbing chin with other hand thoughfully.—"I started to think I weren't perfect partner exactly, so..."

—"Heh, as i expected.. you didn't get my question.."-Finn noticed with bitter chuckle, looking away solemnly.—"I felt and still do, like... it's something... what I can't afford. Not with money or something else.."

—"Can't afford? Pft, what kind of girls you were meetin' before, man??"-blondey man asks in pure confusion, rolling eyes with tired sigh.—"You're, like, even luxury for being rejected or ignored!"

—"It's..not about money, Chase.. it's about...𝘮𝘺 𝘸𝘩𝘰𝘭𝘦 𝘦𝘹𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦."-Finn caresses wrist, still avoiding gaze..yet it's hard for him to hide true feelings: regret and sadness.—"I couldn't even...look at girls this way."

Coworker blinks in confusion, raising eyebrow and tilting head to the side.

—"What do you mean?"

—"I..never could look at girls 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨 way: i couldn't think of them..like partners, they could be...any for me: friends, coworkers, cousin's friends and etc...but not 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘴. That's the point.

—"...Wait, are you... telling me...?"

—"..Yes."

Chase stops with caresses on shoulder, looking from head to toes at Finn, his expression..full of disbelief. But no disgust either.

"Are you telling me that... you're 𝘨𝘢𝘺??"

"...yeah.. that's... what I'm saying."

"Hell, Finn..."

Finn sighs, caressing neck shyly, blushing and not trying to meet Beckley's eyes.

"I'll understand if you wouldn't like talk to me.."

"Nah, man, why would i stop?? I mean, your sexuality has nothing to do with-"

"𝘉𝘦𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘪 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝙮𝙤𝙪, 𝘊𝘩𝘢𝘴𝘦 𝘉𝘦𝘤𝘬𝘭𝘦𝘺."

"You- WHAT?!"

Finn nods and turns away, hiding face in hands. He's total fool right now..in his opinion, at least.

"...but...even...even if you will return my feelings, what almost impossible here... It wouldn't work in slightest."

And Chase doesn't say anything about his 𝘰𝘸𝘯 opinion yet so he gently makes Finn to look at him again, his expression still soft and calm.

"..why do you think so? You still have something to tell me, right? Go on, I'm all ears."

(...)

(..Don't be a mess, Finn Blake, don't be a mess..!! I have nothing to lose right now...or i already lost.)

Finn lowers gaze somewhere between them and suddenly peeks up, feeling..Chase's fingers stroking his cheek, so gently, so carefully, with so much..care, like it's supposed be. Coworker was about to move hand away however Protag catched it, bringing back on skin, without any words. Not like he was thinking what he does too like taller one, but still..no one protests.

Finn slowly sighs and closes eyes, starting with murmur.

"..not only...my love for guys was..wrong in my situation. It's like, i was supposed to be something else but.... someone else thought not like me."

"Elaborate?"

"Sometimes, or more likely, since childhood, i felt... weird: like if i was an orange juice in coffee cup, pencil among pens or octagon which was supposed to fit into triangle hole..."

"I still don't get what you're sayin', Finn..?"

"I mean...i wouldn't be accepted by women nor by men not just because of my sexuality but because... I'm not suiting their preferences and expectations. It's common sense, of course, however.. I'm not winning in any of situations."

"Pft, Finn for god's sake Blake, tell me the reason 𝘸𝘩𝘺 someone wouldn't accept ya not just because of sexuality??What's no win means?"

(...)

(...I can't be straightforward here... I'll try to pick more closer metaphors. Saying directly is not the best option here in my opinion..)

—"..i know, it's hard to explain"-Finn returns gaze, feeling how he's sweating because of nervousness and fear despite of keeping calm expression.—"however I'll try."

—"..okay, you still pick being mysterious senior.."-Chase says "tsk" but doesn't protest, his fingers slowly going up to Finn's hair, circling curls onto his fingers gently.—"Go on."

—".. usually, when it's all mutual, people are fine with you regardless of gender, mostly people are looking not just for appereance and etc, however...in my situation, it's harder: I'm not suiting for men not just because other one can be straight but because..."-Finn takes off glasses, cleaning with napkin and checking for dirt.—"...my body doesn't futfills expectations...or even if it does...i wouldn't be treated like a man.

—"What are you talking about?? You're definitely a man!!"

—"Chase."

—"𝘠𝘦𝘴??"

...

Chase looks at Finn from head to toes again and gasps silently, touching own lips and giving soft "oh."

He realized. Finally realized what Finn implied. He understood.

"Yeah..oh."

"..."

"..hahah."

"..!"

"Chase..??"

Coworker runs fingers through his blond locks with chuckle and with..genuine laugh. He's not even looks terrified or disgusted, he's just amused like if he hard funny joke not someone's coming out. He can't even stop laughing.

—"Geez, Finn, and it's your dirtiest secrets you were talkin' about..?? That you're gay and..trans??"-Chase snorts again and wipes tear out from eye corner, not looking at Finn.—"Okay, that's really funny!!"

—"I WASN'T JOKING, Chase!!"-Finn says in offended tone, completely confused by other's reaction.—"For your information, it was hard to be honest about!..."

—"I totally get it, man."—Chase slowly starts calming down, finally returning gaze and making a pause, asking blankly.—"So what? Why it has to stop me?"

(...stop...from what?...)

"What do you mean, Chase..?"

"Finn, you literally knew what to do with rat, screwdriver, noticed clue for job application on 5th floor, poisoned a piece of cake just for that ass moster on 3rd floor...and yet you don't understand what I'm saying right now??"

"I can't be smart in everything!! And also not always i UNDERSTAND WHAT PEOPLE IMPLYING. I'M NOT EVEN ALWAYS UNDERSTAND THEIR EMOTIONS!!"

"CAN YOU NOT YELL AT ME??"

"CAN YOU THEN ELABORATE WHAT YOU MEAN??"

"I DAMN RETURN YOUR FEELINGS, OKAY??"

"... wait....what?.."

Finn processes Chase's words for few seconds and then his cheeks slowly turning red. He puts glasses on and softens gaze, asking with gentleness.

"..you.. mean these words?"

"..mhm. Certainly."

Coworker's cheeks reddening too. He adjusts his tie and cups Protag's face into with hands, his fingers slowly tracing jawline, cheek and then stops near lips. He observes his face, wanting to remember every detail.

"...you can't even imagine what you do to me, Finn...all these months..."-Chase says thoughtfully, his attention fully on Finn's face.—"I can't look at you without...weird feelings."

—"...i thought...i don't have any chances.."-Finn admits with soft sigh, leaning into touch.—"I thought you're attracted to women.."

—"Not gonna lie, that's what i thought too."-Chase chuckles, gently touching other's man cheeks with thumbs, his gaze..full of love.—"But seems...i tried to deny my own feelings. Stupid of me, i know."

—"Knowing our society, it's.. understandable why you would try to deny."-Finn frowns, lowering gaze and running his hand through Chase's hair. Blond one only leaned in response.—"I tried to deny too but as you can see...no result."

—"Of course, however... it's still..cruel. I mean, look at you, how i could joking about my preference for women??"-Chase scoffs and shakes head, not believing in own stupidity and sighing softly.—"I... didn't want to do so...sorry. Only if i knew you're not into women before..."

"It's not your fault, really.."

"I hope so."

Protag peeks at Coworker again and makes faint smile, caressing hair with fingertips, massaging scalp and making other man lean in and lying on chest. Despite of having his own restrictions about touch, it feels.. totally normal and natural. 

Chase smiles slightly, asking permission for hug and when Finn nodded, wrapped hands around him securely. He knows well about Protag's childhood so he's being careful with this. 

Coworker hums and closes eyes under Protag's caresses, starting with murmur.

"... honestly, i tried hinting you about my feelings..did you notice it?"

"...wait, you.. really were hinting??"

Chase slowly opens eyes and lifts head slightly, looking personally offended.

—"Pff, of course i did, Finn! Do you remember my flirting in cafe? Me offering you help instead of Normal Guy? Me wanting to pay for you EVEN when you didn't want to...??"-Chase rolls eyes, poking on Finn's cheek stubbornly.—"Not to mention my flirting with you alone on your floor. Yeah, i understand WHY you didn't get it but still, it's a crime!"

—"W-who knows if you were joking or not...?"-Finn pouts, putting finger away with tired sigh.—"Not me was talking about women most of times...you don't even remember number how many you were dating!"

—"It's still weird and- wait, you do care about my exes count..??"-Chase raises eyebrow, squinting eyes in suspicion.—"You were saying you're not jealous type... unfortunately."

—"First, I don't care how many exes you had but i don't understand how you treat it like a game. Second, I'm indeed not jealous type and third...𝙬𝙝𝙮 𝙪𝙣𝙛𝙤𝙧𝙩𝙪𝙣𝙖𝙩𝙚𝙡𝙮??"

—"You just don't get it..."

—"I don't even want to."

—"Naah, man, it's boring..."

Finn sighed.

"..Why then you're so sure you're ready dating me and you wouldn't treat it like a game? Just in theory."

Something inside Coworker's chest tightened in discomfort..and genuine hurt. Protag's worries exist for a reason, it's understandable why, however...Chase wants to prove otherwise. He wants to try.

Chase slowly sighs, lifting one of Finn's hands and putting it on own face, making other man feeling warm pale yellow-ish skin.

—"..i know, i have...not the best reputation as a partner in relationships...and..i regret being proud in it."-he starts slowly, avoiding gaze solemnly.—"However...i started to think about it after you, after person who appeared in my life with different point of view, yes, i might not agree with your takes sometimes, but mostly.. they're right, you're right. You're person for who i...want to change. Yes, i might not do or say something good, i might misunderstand, i might not be good at first, however...𝙞 𝙣𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧 𝙬𝙖𝙣𝙩𝙚𝙙 𝙩𝙤 𝙙𝙞𝙨𝙨𝙖𝙥𝙤𝙞𝙣𝙩 𝙮𝙤𝙪 and i still don't. Just..."-Chase gulps silently, closing eyes and asking in soft plea.—"..gimme a chance, Finn. I wanna..only make you happier. I can't see myself with anyone..Tell me anything and I'll do it. Anything."

Finn lets out soft "oh Chase..", stroking other's man cheek and feeling...touched. Something makes him..want to try, no, he really wants to try, try with him, with the person who knows him well. And he thinks..it would work.

Finn smiles slightly and chuckles, wanting to reassure Chase by making a joke.

"..Anything. Will you even take a bullet for me?"

Chase suddenly peeks at him in pure horror and looks away, biting lip nervously.

"Ahh...o-of course!.. Anything, except eating mushrooms, they're nasty."

(...he wouldn't.)

"Once i already died because of bullet when you're suddenly dissapeared, Chase-"

Chase blinks and rubs neck with other hand, awkwardly smiling.

—"Ohhh... seems you remembered it...but you survived!!"

—"it's not the point!!"

—"Yes it is??? And hey, ANYTHING, except taking bullet and eating mushrooms."

(...at least he's being honest.)

—"But still...i don't have any reasons to not wanting dating you."- Coworker caresses Protag's fingers, kissing his palm lovingly and adding like a matter of fact.—"Yes, even the fact you're trans, you get it?"

(Even the fact I'm trans man..)

—"...Why? I mean, you didn't know it until i told you so.."-Finn shakes head, trying to sound normal, however nervousness through his voice still audible.—"And you hadn't experience.."

—"Yes, I hadn't, I'll be even more honest, 𝙞 𝙙𝙤𝙣'𝙩 𝙝𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙖 𝙘𝙡𝙪𝙚 𝙝𝙤𝙬 𝙞𝙩 𝙞𝙨.- Coworker says without hesitation and directly, sighing amd continuing in softer tone.—"...But i totally understand how it's hard for you. You know, love for your personality, traits, tastes, habits, hobbies, anything..is 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘯 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘪𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘱𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘴.Yes, i don't understand this topic, I don't have experience with this, however, i wanna understand 𝙮𝙤𝙪. You get it?"

—".. I'm just...not sure if you'll keep.. treating me like a man."-Finn admits quietly, closing eyes. His knuckle shaking.—"I don't wanna making accent on it, but also i don't wanna be judjed because I'm afab, I don't wanna feel like...𝙞'𝙢 𝙣𝙤𝙩 𝙢𝙖𝙣 𝙚𝙣𝙤𝙪𝙜𝙝.

—"Finn.."

—"I'm not sure if i can be the same for you that treatment will be the same as before, I don't wanna...just..."

—"Finn-"

—"What if I'll be nothing but man who didn't bottom surgery yet, I'm not even sure if I'll do this, but i don't wanna be viewed as-"

—"Finn, for fucking god sake, Blake, look at me!!"

—"huh...?"

Chase puts hands on shoulders, gripping and making Finn finally look at him, his expression serious yet grip is not that hard, he just want to be heard, that's what Chase is.

Coworker sighs, shaking head slowly and leaning in, their noses almost touching.

"Do you know what i hate in you the most?"

Finn slowly shook head in worry. Chase only chuckled.

"... You're...so overthinking sometimes. I get where it comes from but please, when I'm telling you you're fine—it means you're fine. You really have zero clue what your simple smirk makes to me, that your sarcasm makes me want to see you more rolling your eyes after i did something stupid, that i want to hear your laugh and being reason of it, that i want to comfort you even if i suck at it, I'll try, just for you, that i want to to caress your face, your hands, your hair, i even want to..."-he moves one hand away to caress Finn's lower lip, blushing slightly at own action.—"..just...to kiss you. Without any thought in my head."

Protag blushes slightly too and was about to say something however Coworker stopped him, shutting with finger on lips and saying "shh".

—"..And it were guys rejecting you, not girls? They were stupid either way."-Chase smirks, getting closer and taking off Finn's glasses completely, for a reason.—"Hell... missing someone like you... I'll be a fool for not saying I'm lucky. Yes, i am lucky. How the hell someone can look at you without hearts in eyes, butterflies in stomach and without wish bringing you close?"- he sighs, caressing own cheek with finger shyly.—"..i know, i sound like whipped man but hell... it's literally how i feel around you. You're... literally my perfect type in men. That's what i realized. I don't care if you're cis or not...i would like to know more about it in future if i could, of course, just curiosity. But matters it for me more than my feelings towards you? Nah, not in slightest."- he smiles slightly, returning gaze and whispering softly.—"Finn, you're always enough for me, remember it."

(Chase...)

(...)

"Finn...?"

Protag sniffs quietly, closing eyes and bringing knuckle, wanting to wipe tears off. He's crying not because of sadness but happiness. He finally feels accepted, accepted in love..and for him, it's like a miracle, a good one.

Coworker panicks, gently cupping Protag's face.

—"H-huh, did i say something bad??"

—"H-hah, no, it's quite opposite... I'm happy, you can't even imagine how much..."

—"Don't scare me like that! You know how much i hate making you feel dissapointed or sad."

—"Y-you're crying too, Chase.."

—"I don't understand what you're talkin' about..."

—"Crying is totally fine, Chase.."

—"S-shut it."

Finn cups Chase's face in response, giggling softly and causing other man to react positively too. They are totally fine with each other, it's pure affection and comfort. It feels..real.

Protag closes eyes and leans in, sharing kiss with Coworker. At first, kiss was rushed, hardly made for breathing but soon it slows down, getting softer and enough to breath due to dark haired man's experience in it. But no one protests.

Chase closes eyes too, smirking slightly and running fingers through dark blue hair meanwhile other hand slides down to grip Finn's tie but Protag stops him, murmuring into lips "not here and not that soon..", Coworker only giggled quietly, agreeing with point of view.

When Chase stopped with kiss first, he slowly opened eyes, looking down at heavily breathing man under him, smiling slightly and reaching face with hand, caressing Protag's soft tan skin lovingly with thumb. When Finn opened eyes, he carefully shifts in position, sitting and searching for glasses yet not moving fast, wanting to keep Coworker's touch.

—"I think i was awfully kissing..."

—"Awfully?? Pfft, c'mon, Finn, your kiss was better than from my exes!! And you don't have experience in relationships anyway."

—"Even now you find ways to mention your exes..??"

—"Hey, it's not like that!! I was trying to cheer ya up!"

Finn facepalmed. He puts glasses back, fixing glasses with fingers and blinking in sudden realization.

"...Wait, didn't you were planning meeting with someone else..???"

"..!

Ehem..."

Chase rubs back of head, moving away and biting own lip with nervous chuckle.

—"...Can i be honest? Don't be mad."

—"I'll be more mad if you won't be honest."

—"H-hey, listen!!"

Chase sighs, slapping own cheeks and looking back at Finn again, softening gaze.

—"...to be perfectly honest...i hadn't any meetings today."

Finn raises eyebrow and opens mouth before closing it and shaking hands, looking purely confused.

"Wait wait wait, are 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙩𝙚𝙡𝙡𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙢𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙡𝙞𝙚𝙙 𝙖𝙗𝙤𝙪𝙩 𝙪𝙥𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙙𝙖𝙩𝙚?? 𝙒𝙝𝙮??"

Chase sighs, crossing arms and waving with one palm in the air.

—"Yeah yeah, i know, it's stupid but lemme explain",-he looks away, blushing slightly and speaking...shyly.—"I actually...had invitations but i declined all of them because...i wanted to have evening with you. But...i thought, like, what if it will happen  and you won't return my feelings..??" So... that's why.."-he returns gaze, smiling awkwardly.—"..i said i already had meeting. So..in fact, I'm free."

—"...I wish i could slap your face right now, but since i already survived psychical and emotional abuse, i wouldn't put myself on the same lowest level of society and common sense."-Finn says blankly with annoyance and sighs, looking away and admitting quietly... affectionately.—"and because i like you."

—"Heh, i mean, it's deserved.-Chase giggles shortly and moves in, taking Finn's hands in his own.—"But...i have better option for you"

Finn blushes slightly and returns gesture, caressing Chase's hands with thumbs, looking up at him again.

—"What option?"

—"Is your offer still valid?"

—"..!"

Protag's pupils widened and he closes eyes, opening again and lowering gaze shyly, murmuring..with hope and love.

—"You mean my offer about date with tea and somewhere peaceful?.."

—"Bingo. How about.. here? We have 2 hours left before building will be closed. Are you finr with that?"

—"What an odd thing to ask...of course i am."

—"I didn't expect any other reaction."

Chase brings Finn's hands to kiss it lovingly and pauses, adding with chuckle.

—"..you didn't had your tiramisu today. How about that: I'll buy it as fast as i can while you'll make tea for us?"-he tilts head to the side, affection is audible even through words.—"Is it fine with you?"

—"It's perfect option. I'll be totally fine with it."—Finn smiles softly, despite of having black eyes, his happiness is showing.—"Just...be in time."

—"Sure,of course. But keep in mind, Finn..."-he lowers voice, whispering flirtatiously with faint smirk.—"It's our first, but not last date: I'll spoil you rotten. And i ain't planning to stop."

—"Oh stoop, you know well I'm not into status..."-Finn chuckles softly, lowering voice in response.—"I hope you have not only money just for keeping surprising me."

—"Totally not only... I'll prove it."-Chase leans in and kisses on nose, softening tone.—"Just.. believe me."

Finn nods, kissing in response but on cheek.

"..I believe you. And...thank you for finally making me believe in this day."

"It's not the last thing you'll say thanks for but also not the last thing i will thank you either."

They both know they started new page of their lifes and it has the same weight for both.