Work Text:
Guest 666 as Heather C
betrayed 1x1x1x1 as Heather D
John Doe as Heather M
Azure as Veronica
Two Time as J.D
Slasher as Martha Dunnstock
Okkk here’s the fanfic now ig >:]
This was the first day of senior year! Azure was excited, also nervous for this year. He hated High School so much, he yearned for College to come around.
He then met the Heathers… a group of ruthless teenagers, all popular and bold. John Doe’s dad was loaded. He sells engagement rings.
but anyway… they started to show interest in him.
“You do have good bone structure for a greasy little nobody…” Guest 666 commented.
After a week or two, he somehow became one of the Heathers! He instantly became popular and loved. His dreams all came true! At least he thought they did. He felt as if life was now beautiful. Everything falling at his disposal, everyone adoring him. It was all perfect.
The Heathers made Azure forge a note. For Slasher. They all wanted to make a fool of him by making him come to the party!
Azure did it… but it just felt wrong. Right when Ram was about to give it to Slasher, Azure snatched it away. (Candy Store)
Guest 666
are we gonna have a problem?
you got a bone to pick?
you’ve come so far… why NOW
are you pulling on my d1ck?
After they all sang about how Slasher was bad news. How he wasn’t Azure’s friend. And if he had Azure’s shot, he would totally leave him to rot!
Azure felt guilty, but he wanted to be popular so bad! He had to choose… be a popular kid and have everyone in school adore you…. Or stay loyal to your best friend since diapers… and Azure chose his popularity. They slipped the note into Martha’s locker…
1x1x1x1
honey, whatcha waiting for!-
Guest 666
shut up, 1x!
step into my candy store!!
1x1x1x1 and John Doe
you just gotta prove you’re not a lame ass anymore!
After all this happened. Azure saw a fight in the hallway! (Fight for me)
students
holy shit! (x9)
There he saw Two Time… He felt it was so wrong watching boys fight… but it also felt so right. Azure was impressed by how Two Time could punch.
How they were in general… Azure wondered if Two Time could face the crowd, and still act proud by Azure’s side. Would Two Time fight for him?
After a while… Azure was at a 7/11, and he ran into Two Time! Two Time was just getting a slushy, and Azure decided to chat with them for a bit.
It turned out, Two Time had some problems in life… He coped through hard times with going to 7/11 and so called ‘freezing his brain’. It was pretty darn unhealthy, but better than drugs, eh?
Then.. there was a party Ram Sweeney set up. Almost all the cool kids went. Little to no losers or nerds came! Though… Slasher came. Slasher was Azure’s best friend since diapers… but now he was popular, he barely talked to him. He just… moved on. (Big fun)
Even a hot guy smiled at Azure… He even complimented him! Without a trace of mockery!
everyone was high as a kite, drinking booze and/or was on weed. Azure had one too many Jell-O shots, gulping them down like no tomorrow.
Then… all hell broke loose when the piñata came out… it looks just like Slasher.
Azure immediately tried grabbing the piñata.
“What’s your damage, Azure?!?!”
they both kept fighting…
then, Azure threw the piñata into the pool.
After Guest 666 yelled the shit out of Azure, Azure puked all over Guest’s outfit, ruining it completely.
“I raised you up from nothing. And what’s my thanks? I got paid in puke!” Guest 666 yelled.
Azure just wiped his mouth, “lick it up, baby, lick. It. Up.”
It was all so horrible… there was yelling, hurt feelings, and a shit load of puke. It was bad now… now Azure only had until Monday before he would socially ‘die’.
30 hours to spend… What to do? (Dead girl walking)
*fourth wall break*
readers, we aren’t going to go into too much detail… but Azure broke into Two Time’s house thru the window and they got freak-a-leek.
now.. back to the fanfic!
when Azure woke up in Two Time’s bed, he felt like he needed to apologize to Guest 666, so he saves a reputation.
”what are you doing? I thought you said you were done with Guest”
”a life without the Heathers… now I need to go kiss his ass now…”
”let me come with”
”what?”
”for backup….”
After they were let into Guest’s house, Azure went forward to Guest. Trying his best to apologize to him.
“I-I think we both said a bunch of stuff we didn’t mean last night…” Azure started.
“Hmm, fix me a prairie oyster and then I’ll think about it.” Guest 666 commanded. Crossing his arms and smirking.
As Azure went into the kitchen. He took out a mug, about to start making it.
”how do I make a prairie oyster…..?” Azure questioned
“Raw egg, Worcestershire sauce, hot sauce, salt, and some pepper” Two Time answered.
”wow… you sure know your hangover cures…” Azure remarked.
Two Time then took out drain cleaner from under the sink.
”should we add this?” Two Time said with a grin.
”don’t be a dick, that shit would kill him!”
”therefore, ending the hangover!”
Two Time laughed at his own joke much more than needed, but when Azure looked away for a moment, Azure added some of the Drain cleaner into the mug.
Then, Guest 666 entered.
”prairie oyster! Chop chop!” Guest yelled.
Azure then picked up the mug and offered it to Guest 666.
“On your knees.” Guest 666 commanded, and that’s what Azure did. He got on his knees and handed the mug over to Guest 666.
”cute, but you’re still dead to me…”
Guest 666 took a sip from the mug, and immediately started coughing and gagging. He choked on the drink and he died.
Azure and TwoTime both looked at the body in shock.
”Holy shit!” Two Time said in shock.
Azure was panicking, this entire thing was bad.
“I just killed my best friend!” Azure yelled
”and your worst enemy…” Two Time stated.
“Wait! You can fake his handwriting, right? Write this…
there was pain on my path
Like Silvia Plath
my problems were myriad’”
”I was having my period!”
Azure cackled at his own joke far too long, but realized the dead body on the ground.
”Oh my god!” Azure yelled.
”Get your head on straight! You could go to jail! Think… long and hard. What would he say to a cruel, uncaring world?”
Azure started writing. (Me inside of me)
”Dear world,
Believe it or not, I knew about fear;I knew the way loneliness stung.I hid behind smiles and crazy hot clothes;I learned to kiss boys with my tongue." Azure wrote.
“That’s good…”
“But oh, the world held me down…
like a concrete promise queen crown.”
Guest 666 sat up, reading the suicide note out loud.
“No one thinks a pretty girl has feelings.
No one gets her insecurity.
I am more than shoulder pads and makeup.
No one sees the me inside of me.”
“Jesus! You’re making me sound like air supply!” Guest 666 said into Azure’s head.
The entire school found out about this, how Guest 666 committed ‘suicide’.
this entire thing was a mess, Ms. Fleming made everyone think about how Guest 666 killed himself.