Chapter Text
It was another a quiet night in the KARD dorm, everyone was doing their own thing but, we always ended up crossing paths asking what we were doing. I just returned from a event that I was invited to, so I went to my room to put my stuff away and change into, something more comfortable for the night. Afterwards I turned off the lights then laid down on my bed and then checked, my phone for messages from the members while I was gone for most of the day. “Only 24 messages from them?” I said to myself as I looked, at the amount of notifications that, I received from the group chat. I started to scroll through each messages, they were talking about the group dance practice that we have tomorrow. I stared at the screen for a second before plugging it in, then placing it on the nightstand beside my bed, while my mind began to drift off to sleep slowly, hoping that tomorrow would be a another good day and being with my fellow members.
As I continued to sleep, breathing in small breaths during my uninterrupted slumber. But after two hours of sleeping, I suddenly woke up to a small pain in my chest, which was odd, I didn't feel it before when I came back from the event but I decided to sleep it off for the night, since it was quite late to get it checked out at the current moment and I had dance practice with the rest of KARD in the morning, then proceeded to fall back asleep again. After sometime the sun began to rise, as it's gleam was peeking through the closed window as my alarm started to ring, before I turned over towards the nightstand and turned the alarm off, then took out some clothes out of my closet to head off to practice in, then proceeded to eat breakfast and make my lunch before going to the dance practice room early.
Then proceeded to wait for the other members to arrive, but the small pain in my chest from the night came back again, however it was more sharp than earlier, and felt that something coming out of my throat, before I covered my mouth with my hand then coughed into it. I moved my hand down realizing what it was covered in, a bloody flower petal…? I froze for a minute before hearing a voice near the door. “Uh Somin can you please open the door?” Jiwoo requested before, I quickly cleaned myself up then opened the door, as everyone entered the room, and waved at me. “How was the event yesterday Somin?” BM asked kindly, before I replied despite feeling a bit disturbed from the seeing, the bloody flower petal from earlier. “It went really well and did have a great time.” I replied calmly as I tried to distract, myself from earlier.
But ignoring the pain was the only thing I could do for now, as dance practice was going to begin soon, after J.seph connected his phone to a speaker then tested, if the audio worked properly before we warmed up then got into position to practice ICKY. As we moved to the rhythm of the song and correcting each other in the process, while pausing sections, that we needed to polish up. Luckily things were going smoothly until, we started practicing Dumb Litty, I began to feel that odd pain again, before stopping as the music stopped, while I proceeded to sit down. “Uh Somin are you OK?” J.seph said with worry, as he noticed that I was acting like my usual self. “If you need to we can continue to practice while you watch us?” BM suggested as I waited for Jiwoo and J.seph to show, a response in any kind of way.
The two of them took a second to respond, but they both nodded in agreement before Jiwoo spoke. “We are always here for you Somin.” She expressed with a gentle smile, then proceeded to hug me. “Anyway you all should probably get back to practising now.” I mentioned as the group returned to practicing, while I was watching them carefully even doing small movements while sitting. As I continued watching their practice, my throat was starting to fill up with pedals again, so I quickly ran out of the room and headed to the bathroom, closing the door before putting my hands on the sink and coughing as the bloody pedals, escaped from my mouth. After I turned on the water so no blood was left then carefully removed the pedals from the sink, as I proceeded to throw them in the nearby garbage can.
I walked back to the practice room before entering, the others were taking a break from practicing and just joking around, until I decided to speak. “I'm going to leave practice early today.” I announced to them as I went to grab my things placed, that were in the corner of the room. The three of them looked at me with concern, a few seconds before Jiwoo spoke. “Somin you can message us if you're still not well enough and have us visit you.” She worded before I responded to her. “I'll make sure that you all get to check on me when you guys are available.” I replied with a bit of reassurance as I gave them all a group small hug, before leaving at heading to my room. Once I made it to my room, I began researching about what is causing the pain, I've been experiencing for most of the day, until I found something.
Hanahaki disease? I looked at the search pop up for a second, before proceeding to search it and writing it down in a computer document while opening more tabs, to find more information about it, carefully checking my sources and analyzing the correct facts and information, reading it out loud in the process. “Hanahaki disease is a illness that produces flowers growing in the lungs from unrequited love, commonly the person who has the feelings starts getting sick overtime, but if they don't confess in time, then the person will die from suffocation or choking.” My heart felt like it dropped as I said it, while I wrote it down in the document. “But I don't have feelings for any of my band members.” I thought before coming to a realization, that turned my mind on. “Now if I don't have the feelings and got the disease then the person who has them has to tell me their feelings instead but I don't just know who's the person is.” I worded out as I wondered if, I will be able to find them and tell their true feelings about me before, I rested my head on my table just listening to the silence of the room.
Timeskip meanwhile in the living room
After practicing the three of us were just chilling in the living room, watching random shows and movies that were playing on the different channels. But I was still worried about Somin as she's hasn't been acting like her self today, usually she always lights up the room with her bright and affectionate smile. As my mind was only thinking about her, while I wasn't observing the TV screen before snapping back to reality, as Jiwoo jokingly punched me. “Are you thinking about Somin again?” She teased and questioned me, as I tried to defend myself before responding. “Uh no I'm not!” I exclaimed in my poor attempt of, defending myself against Jiwoo's tease as it didn't succeed as intended. “Well now you're making your crush on her more obvious BM.” J.seph pointed out while he joined in the conversation, since I did mention it him before but I mainly kept it a secret for the time being.
I do really want to tell her my feelings but due to what's going on with her, I didn't want to disturb her break too much and only visit her with permission when wanted, however I still wondered one thought, in the back of my mind what was truly happening with her. “Alright I admit defeat you guys win this time.” I said as I began to feel flustered by just how J.seph and Jiwoo decided to fool me into thinking about my feelings for Somin. “Now you honestly need to confess your feelings to her soon you big dumbo.” Jiwoo voiced out loudly as the room fell silent after saying that. “Did you seriously had to yell that?” J.seph asked her before she looked at, him in annoyance. “I'm trying to be dramatic here so no further questions from here.” She replied to his question with no hesitation, in her attempt to be dramatic with words.
“Fine I'll confess to her soon but please just give me some time to prepare myself for it.” I blurted out as the two of them, looked at me just as I said it to them. “Took your damn ass long enough to actually do it.” Jiwoo stated while being sarcastic about how long it, took for the actual confession to happen. “Anyway I wish you luck on it man.” J.seph shared in a hopeful tone, as Jiwoo dragged him down the hallway, leaving me alone in room. I just stood there for a moment before going to Somin's room just to check on her and ask if she needed anything. Once I made it to the room's door I knocked on it, waiting patiently for an answer from her. She didn't take long enough before opening the door, but as she stood behind the door frame, she looked a bit more pale than earlier her bright energy was missing, that was replaced with tiredness before speaking up.
“Matt do you need anything? She asked in a quiet tone that kind of slurred her words, but somewhat audible before I eventually replied. “I just came over to see if you needed anything.” I responded kindly to her question as I waited for her to respond. “I don't think need anythi-.” Her words were suddenly cut off by her coughing up pedals, that were covered with blood which made her froze, while I just stood there in disbelief from what I saw before she spoke again. “I'm so dearly sorry for that but can talk privately just the two of us?” She questioned while I nodded in agreement, as I knew she needed some comfort from whatever is happening to her, so I entered the room closing the door before sitting down beside her, as I waiting for an actual explanation into what's truly happening.
We both took a second of silence from the room before seeing Somin letting out a sigh, as she was going to start explaining. “So I've been dealing with some kind of pain in my chest however, when I started coughing up the pedals I did some research and found out, what I was dealing with but haven't told any of the members yet until you witnessed it.” She annunciated as I listened to her words, before replying with no hesitation. “You've been keeping this whole thing a secret from us, but can you please just tell me what's truly happening with you?” I questioned her in a somewhat serious tone, which startled her a bit until she responded. “Fine… I've been dealing with hanahaki disease and the worst part is that I don't even know who's person who likes me is.” She blurted out then looking down at her hands, before I placed her left hand into mine.
As soon as she said that I felt my heart racing again, as my mind blanked in my head until, I snapped back to normal before, letting out the breath that I knew I was holding, as I got ready to speak. “Can I actually tell you something about that?” I asked her while I gave her some time, to think of a answer before she responded. “Just go ahead and tell me.” She replied as her voice was a little louder while, she just looked tired and weak before covering, her shoulders with a blanket to make her more comfortable, until I got ready to say my confess out loud, as I started to fidget with my open hand before blurting it out. “Somin ever since we met and debuted together, I've always seen you as my band member and as we got closer you became my best friend, along side J.seph and Jiwoo, but however recently my feelings towards you have been different.”
“How come like could you possibly describe it if, it's not too complexed?”She asked as she just waited for me to continue talking, before she could say anything. “To describe what my feelings are like, they've just been bouncing around with making me feel, all giddy and happy every time I talk or mention anything about you.” I described to her in a calm yet, gentle voice before she spoke. “So you're in love with me?" She said abruptly, moments before she started coughing up bloody pedals and even full flower buds, this time around until she grabbed some tissues to cover her mouth, to catch and clean her face from the mess. I froze for a moment until, I placed my hand on her shoulder before speaking up. “Yes I'm the person who is in love with you.” I admitted out, as I quickly looked away from her for a second before, I returned my gaze's view back to her.
Her eyes were starting to tear up a bit, but she took some deep breaths, to stop herself from crying before talking. “Even though my feelings for you are small I'm willing to accept yours and make sure that we are both happy and feel supported by each other.” She replied kindly with a bright smile that was reassuring to hear, then I replied to her words. “In good news you'll also be cured from hanahaki disease.” I mentioned to her before she jokingly hit my shoulder then responded. “I know that but at least I accept your feelings for me.” She answered with complete honesty as, her words made me feel my heart beating faster, before leaning in a little closer to her making our foreheads touch. I moved a strand of her short black hair behind her ear, then putting my hand on her cheek. Until I moved closer towards her lips giving her a soft gentle kiss before, looking back at her and proceeding to hug me back.
“Not the kind of first kiss that you probably imagined but the good thing is that I don't feel anything coming out of my throat anymore.” She stated the good news to me then looked up and smiled at me. “Well I guess true love sometimes works to cure a problem.” I answered with a bit of a surprise before we both laughed it off, since true love is always associated with fairytales. “At least we both got together in the end my love.” She said out softly as she rested her head on my shoulder, moments before we both saw Jiwoo suddenly entered the room with J.seph. “Alright let us guess what happened?” She announced before the room went silent for a moment. The two of them were mumbling and whispering, about their thoughts on, what we were doing before eventually responding.
“Did you two have a light hearted conversation?” J.seph asked confidently before I shook my head, since it wasn't really the right answer. Jiwoo looked at the ground for a moment, before looking back up and saying her question out loud. “Well if it wasn't that, I'm starting to think that those two kissed or something.” She said unexpectedly which was surprising for us to hear, as the room felt silent until Somin replied. “Girl you predict the most random things.” She worded as crossed her arms, as my mind continued focusing on her while I was listening. “Honestly love can happen at the most weird times and we may never know.” She hinted as she was walking towards the door, while dragging J.seph along with her. “See you both tomorrow.” He told us as Jiwoo opened the door and stepped out with J.seph, before closing it leaving the two of us alone again.
Somin stared at the door for a second before, looking up and making, eye contact with me again and speaking. “That was truly a close call.” She responded before letting out a sigh of relief, that we weren't caught yet then I proceeded, to wrap my arm around her waist. “It was but I will see you tomorrow and maybe we can try to plan a small outing for the two of us.” I hinted at the possibility as, I headed towards the door before she spoke. “I will see you tomorrow and I'm down for planning something small for the two of us.” She responded with a positive tone before I replied back to her. “I'll message you sometime ideas for planning tomorrow morning, but we'll take our time with looking through all the options, before coming up with a final decision together.” I told her as I knew she would like to know that, beforehand and I didn't want to stress her out, cause of how chaotic today truly was for her, before leaving the room and waving goodbye to her.
Timeskip to the late evening
I finished cleaning up as I started cleaning in the early evening after BM had left, I deep cleaned my room and organizing, my stuff after all the chaos that happened from the illness. Then I began to put all the cleaning chemicals away under the sink making, sure that all of the bottles were stored and sealed properly, before washing my hands moments before doing anything else. After some time I changed out of my practice clothes into comfortable pyjamas, before laying down on my bed and watching random videos, on my phone and being so excited about starting schedule a date with BM together tomorrow. After that I got up and turned off the lights before I plugged my phone in, with the charger then placed it on the nightstand as I got ready to sleep and prepared for the exciting day ahead of me.
Once I was able to get comfortable I just relaxed until my body began, to feel tired and started to fall asleep as my eyes began to close. As I started to doze off there was a small cold breeze entering room from the window, it was faint but the room felt way too hot with the lights off, heavy blankets and the heating on, it was nice to have a little bit of cool air in the room during the night. But my tired mind was just focused, on my happiness from BM's confession to me, his wording on how he's feelings about me was cute and smart, but I even thought he had the feelings I didn't want to die from the hanahaki disease or hurt him, so I decided to accept that he was in love with me even though it, will take some time for me to get used to but I'm still grateful for starting a new relationship and chapter with him.
But all the positive things that happened were just flooding in my mind during the night, that I was half asleep for a while until 10:35pm when I finally drifted off into sleep as I saw the world turning black as my eyes closed. However this time nothing was bothering me, no pain or discomfort whatsoever just proper sleep and comfort from feeling better and loved. It was honestly a bright yet warm feeling that's probably not going anywhere for a long while, but it will definitely be growing more tomorrow because of the small date that me and BM will be planning out together. I do appreciate that he's letting us do that together since it's always a surprise first date when couples get together, but I enjoy that he's allowing to me to put my ideas and thoughts in so we can discuss each other's options to avoid, any confusion or miscommunication when only one person plans it without listening to the other's request or ideas.
After all good communication is a key part of a relationship that is strong or just starting out, even if it may take multiple days to planning we'll still talk it out and manage what could work and what would not work out. But I'll just have to wait until the next time with interact and discuss, our relationship and what we plans are for the date then we'll talk from there. As the night slowly moves on I slept calmly listening to the silence of the room, no sound coming out from the hallway as the door was closed shut, even if there was a faint sound coming from there it was muffled by the closed door, but it was truly was a silent night and have a exciting morning ahead of me after all the events that I experienced during the day.