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Twilight.
He’s supposed to be the best spy in all of Ostania.
Goes by many names, quick with disguises, and can adapt to any situation. The usual spy stuff, yada yada. Twilight is capable, collected, and whatever’s in between.
But why, for god’s sake, does he keep letting his guard down?
Nightfall tells him that he’s losing his edge. And as much as he hates to agree, it’s becoming more and more apparent. Maybe that’s what happens when you have to take responsibility for a 6 year old kid. Nothing he can’t handle, right?
Wrong.
He feels like collapsing every time he comes back from missions. His knees grow weak, and somehow his muscles feel like it’s gonna combust. Sure, he’s taking on Operation Strix like the Handler’s lapdog, but the mission is barely on his mind these days.
So what is, you may ask?
The mission, obviously. But in a different way.
His “family,” to be precise.
Days seem to blend into one as he spends time with this pretend family of his. He had no idea what’s going on in their heads, and it had honestly brought him more stress than any other mission has. But somehow, he’s really starting to enjoy it.
Maybe “enjoy” wasn’t the best word choice. “Toleratable,” he tells himself. Anya’s less of a pain these days, and Yor—he didn’t even know. Sometimes Yor was.. in his mind. He was.. thinking of her? Well he’s thinking of everyone. It’s his job to think. So why was it “different” with her?
He didn’t like how it left a tooth-rotting aftertaste.
“Don’t get attached,”
“Don’t think with emotions,”
“Don’t—“
“Don’t—“
Don’t what??
What can he do?
He may be Ostania’s best spy, but in the end he’s just another tool. He was well aware of this.
But he couldn’t possibly understand why he’s starting to like that sugary taste Yor’s name left in his mouth. He had even started to put milk in his black coffee. Do they even have any correlation? He doesn’t know. He had come to realize that he didn’t know quite a lot of things.
He didn’t mind. Things he didn’t know just meant they’re irrelevant. It means nothing.
Just like the name “Loid.”
It doesn’t mean anything. Not to him.
But it did to Yor.
Every time she said that name, he felt his body feel heavier. Not in a bad way. In a way where he could.. relax. Where he could let his body rest. Loid wasn’t him, of course. But it still meant something.
He had grown quite attached to that name, nowadays. “Loid Forger.”
Yor Briar was quite the individual. No—Yor Forger, he should say. His wife.
Maybe not “Twilight’s” wife—but he’ll let himself indulge for once. He had once put his real last name behind Yor’s name. Safe to say, he never let himself think those thoughts again. It only made him delusional. Delusions and spies don’t mix well.
He was a bit suspicious at first. How could this woman possibly be so strong? She knocked him out once, for crying out loud. He hasn’t been knocked out since his rookie days.
He took precautions of course. He was more than capable. Told Franky to go through every file with her name. The only slightly suspicious info was that she has a brother who worked in the SSS.
He doubted it had any relation to her.
She was so innocent after all.
“I just had a violent patient at work,” was his go-to excuse. A load of bullshit. Even Anya wouldn’t believe that sorry excuse.
And Yor still believed it. If she wasn’t an angel, what else could she be?
She’s genuine, pure hearted, and basically every single adjective you ever use to describe a straight up saint. Most importantly, she doesn't have ulterior motives.
Loid could definitely be described as a ladies man. Seriously, who wouldn’t fall for him? He’s everything a woman could ask for. He cooks, he cleans, he’s hot as hell too. But every other woman he was with—every other woman he shared a bed with—they all had one thing in common.
They were his enemies. And he had to either use them or kill them. It’s not like he never found a target attractive; he is a man after all. But feelings are burdens and burdens mean a liability and liabilities mean death.
So he flirted, kissed, and slept with every woman the handler sent his way. Franky would probably curse him out on how “lucky” he is.
But Yor—Yor is different. He’s using her, sure, but she’s not.. an enemy. She’s not..like them.
And that throws him off. For the first time ever, he’s not just a spy. He’s not just an actor.
He’s a husband, a father, a provider.
Of this fake family he built. But a family nonetheless.
The Forgers aren't anything but a lie.
But it was a sweet one; one that he would savor for a long, long time. He had caught himself wondering what would happen once the mission was over.
Send Anya back to the orphanage? Leave without a trace? He was a spy. It’s what they do.
He's Twilight, for god’s sake.
He’s supposed to be the best spy in all of Ostania.
Goes by many names, quick with disguises, and can adapt to any situation. The usual spy stuff, yada yada. Twilight is capable, collected, and whatever’s in between.
So why did he want to cling on to this life a little longer?
Was he always this soft?
Nightfall says he’s losing his edge. “Don’t give your enemies an advantage,” she says.
But right now, Twilight’s biggest enemy is himself. Him and those feelings that he thought he buried deep years ago. The feelings he vowed to never dig up.
But recently, he’s starting to miss it.
Maybe it isn’t such a bad thing after all.